02-22-2009, 04:30 PM
Life was an endless assortment of days and nights. The winter cloud cover kept the white man from knowing the difference between night and day most of the time. He spent most of his days in the barn now, tending to the herd like a robot. He was grateful for the weather and the labor intensive chore of bringing the cattle back in to the stables after they scattered across the snowy grounds. He chased after them much like a sheep dog, barking and growling low to bring them where they needed to go.
He hated to see the sun. The gleam of gold brought memories crashing inside of his brain of the woman he had searched much of his childhood for. He felt like he had let her down. His mother. The family he used to fantasize about was little more than broken glass scattered across the lands of 'Souls. He had met Firefly and found that she was embittered as he was now. He tried not to let the shards of bitterness pierce him, but he was helpless. The power of this loss was frightening and terrifying. And in this pack, though he had been around for a time, he hardly knew anyone.
So he kept his pain to himself. He kept his mind numb by performing any task he could find at hand, sometimes doing so twice to keep himself from thinking. He hardly slept. Instead he tended the cattle as though each of them were in critical condition, applying all his waking hours to their care. When he felt as though they did not have enough exercise, he chased them. He turned the hay each morning and evening, digging snow from the slight grazing patches so they could eat. His every energy was committed to them.
Today he had exhausted the cattle, chasing them about on their morning run. A shred of a halfway good idea told him not to overwork them. He had locked them up, closing the barn door securely so they wouldn't catch cold. Now he wondered the borders of Phoenix Valley. Without thinking, he was looking for the place where only months earlier he had found Iskata once more. He thought if he could walk across that patch of land one more time, he'd be able to remember her without pain. It was such a happy memory for him.
He hated to see the sun. The gleam of gold brought memories crashing inside of his brain of the woman he had searched much of his childhood for. He felt like he had let her down. His mother. The family he used to fantasize about was little more than broken glass scattered across the lands of 'Souls. He had met Firefly and found that she was embittered as he was now. He tried not to let the shards of bitterness pierce him, but he was helpless. The power of this loss was frightening and terrifying. And in this pack, though he had been around for a time, he hardly knew anyone.
So he kept his pain to himself. He kept his mind numb by performing any task he could find at hand, sometimes doing so twice to keep himself from thinking. He hardly slept. Instead he tended the cattle as though each of them were in critical condition, applying all his waking hours to their care. When he felt as though they did not have enough exercise, he chased them. He turned the hay each morning and evening, digging snow from the slight grazing patches so they could eat. His every energy was committed to them.
Today he had exhausted the cattle, chasing them about on their morning run. A shred of a halfway good idea told him not to overwork them. He had locked them up, closing the barn door securely so they wouldn't catch cold. Now he wondered the borders of Phoenix Valley. Without thinking, he was looking for the place where only months earlier he had found Iskata once more. He thought if he could walk across that patch of land one more time, he'd be able to remember her without pain. It was such a happy memory for him.