Don't want to lose what i loved about you
#21
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There was nothing on God's green Earth that presented more of a pull on Geneva. She felt as though she were a comet, hopelessly circling a rare and radiant sun. Soon, their world's would collide if she couldn't pull herself away. She had already tasted all of the promise in that collision. Her lips still tingled from where they had touched hers. The ghost of Anu's touch still trailed her body. The feeling of rightness stole through her, spiraling and crashing into her feelings of wrong.

She wished with every molecule in her body that she could just open her ams, close her eyes, and take the fall. She didn't know when gravity would catch up with her, and she didn't think she cared enough. But fear held her back, an anchor in her throats and deeds. The ghosts of memories flitted behind her light green eyes. At some point, she had drowned in her own skin, and now she hardly felt as though she knew who she was anymore. She tried to resurface past Jordan's loss, and found that she emerged as someone new and strange.

There was a part of Anu that called to a part of her, buried deep beneath doubt, fear, and confusion. There was part of Geneva that trembled, waiting for the perfect moment to burst into bloom. She swallowed it down, though. It seemed all so unnatural to her, which made this strange situation all the more hopeless to her. There was nothing she could grasp at, no single experience in her past experiences to serve as a point of reference.

She held her hand against her chest, twisting her fingers as doubt assailed her. Could she take the fall? Was there anything to fall for to begin this? Why wouldn't the ground just open up and swallow her whole, releasing her from this situation. She bit her lip, realizing what a coward she was as Anu gazed at her with an open invitation and question in her eyes. "I don't want to go either. But I need to, for myself." And she turned, soundlessly ascending the stairs to her old room, and left the territory, not trusting herself to speak to Anu again this night.
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#22
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Did she give in too easily? Did she have no hold on what she had to offer? Her heart leaped from her ribcage and into Geneva’s arms, and Anu felt no void in her chest. There was no pain as Anu felt it settle in her soft hands, only leaving a warm buzz in her stomach. It beat happily, fluttering as she locked blue eyes with the green ones that pierced her soul. Anu waited, with more patients the she had ever possessed for the female to answer. Her stomach tightened when the room grew silent, the only sound was their quacking breaths and pounding hearts.

In a way Anu read her thoughts, her eyes an open window the workings of her brain. The female was good at guess how she felt, the moment that defined what they might become. She could predict the outcome, and as she spoke Anu left the pull of devastation grab hold and guide her downwards. The last shattered bits of strength kept the darkness from swallowing her, leaving her just on the edge. She said nothing as she watched the wolfess turn her back on her, again, and walk away. Her voice caught in her throat Anu hardly gave a breath as she watched her leave. Was she being honest? Did she not want to go? Part of her didn’t believe, but then they had always been honest… Geneva would never lie.

Anu turned, leaving the house before Geneva could pass back through the foyer. Before they had the chance to meet again. The air was cold against her radiating skin, and the words that had caught in her throat were ready to tumble out into the open air. Unable to hold them back they fell as dotted tears against her face, each drop echoing the feeling that she had swallowed. Wind caught her wet face, and Anu let her body shake with the feel of helplessness that over powered her. Alone she stood, one crying tear falling after another. Each speaking the lost words.

I love you.

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