This Pulchritudinous Solitude
#1
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500+


It drizzled lightly in the early dawn, and the world lay in a blanket of greys and blues. It was cold, but the air was still, and the bite of winter’s dying teeth was lessened. It was silent, and the world was filled with a simple profundity. The forest and the glade seemed empty, but the earth welcomed the form of a black warrior who shared the blue patterns of the earth upon her fur and the light of the moon in her eyes.


Cwmfen stood within the center of the glade. The white orbs gazed slowly about in that calculating way, and she remembered that, only weeks before, she had practiced here the passions of her life. Her soul remembered. Her body remembered. The woad banded toes inched forward as she remembered there, wishing that her body would be ready for such things once more, rising stronger than she had been so that defeat may teach and strengthen her body and resolve. But she knew with a certainty that it was too early. The orbs turned earthward as a soft sigh escaped the woman’s maw as she accepted that fact, and it rose like a cloud to the heavens, slowly before dissipating in the cold, wet air. Her fur was damp as it clung to her body, but the down near her skin was dry and warm. The long scar down her back rose visibly now, a sure reminder of what carelessness could do. Her gaze lifted to the heavens at the sound of the crow’s voice, and she felt as if that sound of death were mocking her and her frustration. She found no solace in that Raven, and she felt no longer that it was a part of her Dream. Perhaps it had been, but the pied Raven seemed to grow distant and yet too near all at once.


The woad warrior reached back, touching gently that scar upon her back. It had healed well with her patience, and it no longer tugged with an urgency when she moved. Perhaps she could shift down to her lupus form and avoid the temptations of her optime. Perhaps it was too early, but idleness made her impatient. Gathering up her will and energy, the female willed her body to change in that strange and unnatural way of the luperci. Like the wind and water. The black fae’s form began to melt and change, but suddenly, there was a pain, and it shot out in every wound that the coyote had given to her. The warrior cried out, and her will was broken as she fell panting to the earth. She growled at herself for her impatience as she slowly lay herself in the wet grass that cradled her form. The woad warrior admitted her defeat and the price of her impatience as the wound on her back split to give up some of her life to the earth.


Her fist still clenched the tuft of fur she had found near the lake, and it held within it the scent of that stranger who had sought to take her life.


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#2
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500+

The male was avoiding everything and everyone. It was not only because his life was going to the hounds, but a headache had kept him up the whole night, and he had finally given up the quest for sleep and left his cabin behind in an attempt to let some fresh air ease the throbbing pain. The land was quiet in the early morning hours, and he was extremely grateful for the serenity that met him. His mind was not as clear as it should be. He felt like he was moving through a light mist. Perhaps he was coming up with an illness. Not the best choice of timing, not at all, but the male had given up trying to control the world around him. It was nothing he couldn’t handle. A cry in the distance made his face twist in the direction of the source. It was Cwmfen. It was a cry of pain, and a rare feeling of worry entered his system and he spun the rest of his body around and hurried towards the female’s location. The throbbing pain in his brain was forced away and thrown into the back of his mind. His Halfling form executed the distance between them quickly with the pace he kept up, and he slowed down when the fallen creature was visible on a bed of grass. She looked horrible, and the scent of fresh blood from strained and freshly reopened wounds filled his sensitive nostrils. He flattened his ears and stretched his neck towards her. What the fuck had happened here.

He stepped closer without announcing his presence vocally, taking in her maimed body. Maybe she had attempted to shift from her usual luperci form, and seemingly her healing wounds had suffered during the process. That meant nothing to him. What really mattered was who the fuck had given them to her in the first place. The Lilium’s hackles rose together with the pressure of a snarl in his throat. His cold wet nose found the back of her ear and nudged it gently. Even in defeat she was beautiful and strong, a true warrior and his ever present temptress of his black and white dreams. ”Cwmfen, what has happened?” There was feeling in his voice where there usually was none. She was one of the few Dahlian wolves he considered friends, and so he always seemed to manage to drag some emotion from an unknown source. He hesitated a moment before he looked over the damage done to her. He moved around her to gaze on the largest cut on her back, and he lowered down and swept his tongue across the damaged area as careful as he could. Someone would have to pay for this, Haku would make sure they would pay twice the price. Revenge was what he did best, and Cwmfen was a target that would be backed up by a crazed Haku Soul.

His blue eyes searched for her moonlit orbs, unable to determine her current state. His eyes then went to a tuft of pelt clutched in her hand. Inferni.

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#3
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500+


Her eyes were opened, but they saw nothing even as her gaze was fixed upon the blades of grass that rose up about her. The wolf’s mind had retreated for a moment back into the darkness of her consciousness, allowing her body to recover from the shock of her futile attempts. The pounding of her pain startled heart thundered in her ears as she lay there, quite still save for the rise and fall of her breath as she drank in the cold, damp air. It was because of that sound that the sound of his approach was unheard, and the gelid air stole from her the warmth of his proximity. It was not until he reached out his maw to touch her with his wet nose that the sound died away into tranquility and she became aware of a presence.


His touch upon her ear was gentle, subtle, but she had not been expecting it. With a snarl, the female’s head turned sharply, her jaws opened and her teeth seeking that who had touched her. As she moved, his scent reached her strongly, and her vicious teeth scarcely missed the maw of her Lilium. Realizing her mistake, the female pulled away, and she found that the mastered control of her body was still there. "Haku!" But, having realized the identity of the male at her side, the female looked away, as if by doing so she would not have to share her defeat with the Lilium. As a warrior, she knew well that defeat was something to experience humbly, and she did, viewing it as a checkpoint to improve herself. But the nature of her defeat, aided by her indiscretion, was something of which she was ashamed. And the warrior thought that perhaps he would see it as evidence of her worth, or lack there of, of the ranks of Adonis and, especially, of Head Warrior. But when he spoke and used her name, her ear swiveled at the sound and she forced herself to look back at him.


"I was out to become acquainted with the earth," the quiet alto began in her archaic speech. "Some coyote attacked me—I don’t know who." A light smile flickered faintly across her lips. The white orbs watched him carefully, almost tentatively. When the male moved away, the female said, "I was walking upon the ice, but it was thin, and I fell... The cold slowed me." She was almost whispering now as she explained herself, as if it didn’t matter. At least she had been offered a change to continue on the path of life, and she held within her hand the evidence of who the coyote was. The warrior had considered searching for him at the Inferni boarders immediately after her encounter with Onus, but she wisely decided against it. It would be better to go at a later time when she would be able to move properly once more.


The black fae winced, and her breath caught as his tongue found her wound. He was gentle yet again, but the wound stung with his contact. After a few moments, she grew accustom to the sensation, and her tensed muscles relaxed. She turned her gaze to find that blue one, and the warrior was surprised to find something there. Worry? "You don’t have to...." There was a sadness in her alto melody, as if the day were raining because of it. But the warrior saw his gaze fall to her hand, and she turned to find the end of his gaze. Her woad bound hand unclenched, and the fur was left alone upon the wet earth. The white eyes looked back up at the chocolate hued male. "I found it there, when I went back."

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#4
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500+

He had moved away when she had snapped after him, suddenly aware that she had not been aware of his presence before the touch had been made. He regretted his foolish move, but his intention had been pure. Once she recognized who the man was she seemed to relax. Good. What he had done seemed not to comfort the raven warrior, and so his tongue found its rightful place behind a shut mouth. He always seemed to fail in his humble attempts to do something good. She seemed broken, low spirited. He could understand it if she had suffered a loss at the battle ground, seeing she was a Dahlian leader as well as the Head Warrior of the pack, but Haku knew as well as anyone that not all battles ended victoriously. The best they could do was to learn from their mistakes and rise higher and stronger for a second round. Her voice pained his ears, roaring up the pain that pulsed together with his heartbeats. It had been a coyote alright, and Haku had now concrete evidence of the coyote’s false truce. The cocoa male had not expected the peace between the two groups to last as long as it had, but it was now a fact that they were not safe from the coyotes’ hungry jaws any longer. How would Cercelee receive this information? She was a wolf of words, not of actions. He was the hand that brought terror down upon Dahlia’s enemies, not she. Was a second conflict on its way?

When the marked female’s hand let the fur find the ground the male leaned over to inhale the full aroma that hid in the dead cells. He was unable to recognize the individual, but the scent of the coyote’s clan stung. Haku’s eyes travelled to the shrouded lit eyes of the female and he offered her a sad little smile, a worthless attempt of reassurance. He was at a loss what to do. It had not been a smart move to come to her aid. There was nothing he could do, and he believed she would have preferred being alone in her state. He still believed in the better safe than sorry saying, but he was steadily becoming more aware of his own moves, how they made up their opinion about him. He did not want to be here uninvited, but now that he was here he did not detect any cold from the female that suggested that he should take his leave. He walked around her resting body so that she would not have to look over her shoulder if she wanted to rest her eyes on him. He sat down and wrapped his tail elegantly around his front paws, looking down at the sad sight. It would pass, her wounds were not mortal. He lowered his face to lessen the distance between them as well as to lowering himself down to her level. ”Are you okay?” A ridicules question, but rather that than nothing. His hackles relaxed a bit now when it was clear that there was no urgency.

”I will get that shit that did this to you.” Haku was not as skilled as Cwmfen in martial arts, but he was a decent fighter nonetheless. He had size, stamina, and no fear.

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#5
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500+


Cwmfen was used to the pains of war, but she had never been so close to death as she had been those many days ago. There were pains that she felt that ran deeper than the wounds on the surface, as if every blow had cut into her with an invisible knife, bruising the deeper flesh. Against these, even the wounds of Brennt were forgotten, insignificant. But she regretted that she had shown her physical suffering to the Lilium who had come to comfort her. She did not mean to chase away his efforts. The warrior gathered herself, collecting the frayed edges of her control, calming the waters of her soul with a quiet breath.


She watched silently as the larger male sniffed the fur that she had deposited. He did not respond aloud, but she saw that his look had darkened. And the black female knew that his mind would have turned to the conflict between the two packs. A frown tugged at her lips. But then he had moved again to stand before her, sitting with his tail about his paws. Briefly the female’s mind wondered how the male’s tail had been severed from the rest. Cwmfen looked up at him, and her light smile seemed less faint. "I’m fine now." But she found that she was better and that the waves of pain that had pulsated throughout her body had lessened. The white orbs searched the blue eyes of the male as they had so many times before, but she was less direct, remembering his mateship with Firefly. She could not deny, however, that she was grateful for his presence. Slowly, the female pushed herself up onto her left arm, careful to not aggravate her wounds. Once she had obtained a position with her body propped up and her legs beside her, she reached out with her right hand, the woad upon them still bright. It was almost as if she thought of touching his face, but instead, she placed her hand upon his leg, grasping it gently to as if to reassure him.


Haku’s crude diction made a quiet laugh of grey tones slide into the air. But the female accepted his vow sincerely, surprised that he would find her pains worth the trouble. "I would wish that coward dead." The warrior perceived her attacker as such: a coward. She was a creature that fought with honor, that did not forget why she fought. Even in anger, as she had experienced with the male Brennt, she had not lost control, and she did not abuse his forfeit. The coyote, however, had no reason for attack, and he had caught her while she was weakened. Perhaps in war, the female would have accepted it. But not in times of peace. But she thought briefly of the boy, Ezekiel, who did not seem honorless. "But...." She did love war.... "Perhaps we should request Inferni’s surrender of this male." If the clan honored the truce, it should not be broken, regardless of her state, because of the insolence of a single male. Or perhaps there was some other occurrence of which she was not aware.


Her grip upon the male’s leg tightened with a new wave of pain, and she clenched her teeth against it. Swiftly, she relaxed her grip, slowly letting out her breath. But she did not think that her attempts at discretion would fool the male, especially for their proximity.

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#6
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700+

She said she was fine, but Haku did not trust her melodic voice. He was angry, angry he constantly seemed to arrive too late whenever there were conflicts. He did not blame himself for Svara’s injuries, because in his mind he was convinced that it was the female’s recklessness that finally had got hold of her and finally caused bold consequences. It was sad that she had lost her eyesight (the injuries left no doubt about that.), but she had the full burden of guilt resting upon her shoulders, not Haku. The Lilium was not aware that the raven warrior regretted her outbreak and her inability to hold her pain invisible. Pain was a natural part of life and so was the physical and mental effects it gave, although Haku’s nerve system had been toyed with from he had been small, and so his sensation of pain was a whole different one that did not cause him the equal amount of pain that he should. It was converted into a different sensation that only served to tempt an enrage timer that would in the end let the demon out to play. He pinned his eyes at her when her hand moved up towards him. For a moment he feared she was planning to touch him, and in the end it turned out that his fear had been correct, but she had placed it upon his leg in a gentle grip. The chocolate man was careful not to let any visible changes occur in his face, but the touch was not comforting in any way.

He did not want to be teased with something he could not have, no matter if it was nothing tempting about that move whatsoever. It was touch that triggered his reaction and spun his limited imagination in motion once again. Her reply made it a fact. Either alone or when she was better, Haku would have liked to go out for a little coyote hunt. Her thoughts went longer than his, as she inquired if they perhaps should request the coyote clan to surrender the shit. He clenched his teeth to prevent a disgusted snort from entering the tranquil morning air. When did Inferni ever honour anything above their sick and twisted selves? Haku had no belief in the solution the marked leader suggested. He still stood on his ground with his basic thoughts about Inferni. They had never paid for the blood and misery they caused. Instead they went on a whining trip every now and then and complained about how unfairly they were being treated. Some wolves went for a target if there was a flicker of coyote blood, yes, but the amount of pure coyote hating wolves was a very small minority, while Inferni had allowed its members to roam freely fucking up lives as long as he could remember.

Was it not a coyote that had ruined his own life and taken his tail? Yes. That trash had also harmed his mother so that she had lost most of her memory, in which the result was that she lost her mate and later developed a depression she had never been able to overcome. Haku was not one to blame everything and nothing just to do it, this was a fact, something he was convinced of. The tightened grip brought him back from his thoughts, and he only kept his calm sky blue gaze on her, patiently waiting for the wave of pain to leave her. He could always have tried to make up some comforting sentences that could mentally lift her spirits, but Haku never was a man to add unnecessary words if he could avoid it. The woman did not deserve pity, only respect, and she had his respect and more. ”Do you really think they would do such a thing? They may pose as the overall victims in the endless coyote versus wolf conflict, but it does not change the fact that they are a group of worthless shit that does not do anything that is not in their favour. I doubt they will give up their individual. Apparently he fought well, and how could they possibly allow us to take away one of their warriors?” They wouldn’t, but he could respect her suggestion and send someone to do the request. Haku could not go, because Gabriel burned with unrighteous hatred for him, and he wouldn’t risk open conflict yet between the two groups.

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#7
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500+


The sound of the rain that fell like a mist filled in the silence between them. But the silence of Haku had never troubled the black female, for she knew that he said only things of worth. The warrior was comforted by his presence and by his warmth, and for once she welcomed the company whole heartedly. The white orbs watched him as he watched her, but his mind was working, brooding beneath that gaze. She wondered what it was that the chocolate secui was thinking. Through her touch she could feel his rage, and it was a powerful thing, but a dangerous thing. She wondered at that rage but did not refute it. She had felt it too, especially in the presence of Bane. It had not been because of him, and perhaps he had understood that. But now the rage was quieted, muted by something else. Whatever it was, she did not know. Perhaps it was simply the training of her mind. The same training which had failed her that day. Yet, even if it had succeeded, she suspected that she would have been dead anyway. Victory would not have changed the wounds, and so she was stilled in her rage.


The woad marked fae’s gaze sought the blue pools. "Perhaps you’re right," the alto melody said at length. Perhaps he was. She was not, after all, as well versed in the habits and values of the Inferni clan as Haku was. She was new to this land and to its history. Perhaps it showed. The female did not think, in the end, that such a request would be heeded anyway. Would they simply view it as a show of their prestige? The female frowned. Perhaps, then, she had made a show of their weakness, and that bothered her. As a warrior, that bothered her. But she tried to set that aside, for it was unalterable now. And she knew that there would always be someone out there that was better, stronger. "Then what is there left to do?" She could feel Haku’s rage threatening upon her, becoming her own. Or had it always been there?


The warrior realized that her grip upon the male had changed, that, instead of one of comfort, it had become one of support. She was tired again, weakened, but she felt as if she could sleep and would be stronger upon waking. The female’s hand loosened as it slowly slid down his leg. When she found the earth, she took its support and freed the male of her. The pain was a dull throbbing in the back of her mind, an incessant sensation that the female was slowly growing accustom to. With a sigh, the female lowered herself back to the earth, laying on her left side for her right was torn. For a moment, the female closed her eyes, swallowing against the small jarring pain from the impact of her body against the ground. When they opened, they were clearer as they looked up at the Lilium. Perhaps her mind was strange from the constant pain. But she did not want the male’s rage to be because of Inferni. Perhaps it was selfish to think it, but she wanted his rage to be because of her. A light smile tugged at her lips as she laughed at herself and knew that it couldn’t be that way.


Instead the female said, "I’m sorry if I startled you, Haku," and kept her thoughts and desires deep within her hidden.

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#8
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500+

The male shifted an ear as a tiny stream found its way down towards the chamber. Once he had loved the rain, the sound of it, the feel of it, but together with the corruption the beauty surrounded them had faded in strength and died together with his softer side. Wolves were gentle and peaceful of nature, but the rules had changed after the humans had destroyed themselves and altered the canines. There was too much judgement everywhere, and Haku’s one was a basic one. He saw a threat to the pack he led, and it was only natural to confront it and wipe it out. The society that slowly was developing in these lands did not give room for such actions. It was a shame, a shallow world where everything was supposed to be good and civilized, though that was where they failed hardest in their belief. They could not build a community where they demanded peace, but willingly allowed the chaos to rampage the land. Haku had accepted that, but Dahlia de Mai belonged to him, and hence he was free to make his own rules. If one member was threatened, then the whole of Dahlia was threatened, and Haku did not respond well to such challenges. The Inferni versus Dahlia de Mai war was already officially blamed on him, but he would do it all over again if that was what he had to do to demonstrate his point. Violence bred violence, and Haku was the perfect man for the job.

He was pleased when Cwmfen voice possibly agreed. Perhaps this was the time... What was left to do? Well, Haku would play nicely first round, just so that Cercelee would be happy. He was disappointed (as usual), disappointed that the ultimate leader of Dahlia. Truth be told, there was always the possibility that Cercelee still was unaware of what had happened, but if it was so, what would she do with it? She had stood idly by before; hence he did not assume she would do anything in this case either, even though it was one of Dahlia’s own leaders that had been assaulted. ”I will go to Inferni and demand them to give us the guilty scum. I will play nice the first round, but I do it for the sake of you and Cercelee. Personally I’d just go for the throat, but our Rosea would not be happy with me.” It was time. Haku just spoke his opinion, and he knew he easily could be judged for his words. ”I don’t like that Cercelee lets the coyotes threat us like they do. There have been Inferni coyotes near our borders, and now one attempted to murder you. I knew the truce would never last, and I don’t want us to stand idly watching while they bully us. That is not what I believe in.” Haku could understand Cercelee’s desire for peace, but more often than not (talking about Inferni of course) peace was not a valid option. He would never have allowed things to move into this direction.

”It is okay, I should have announced my presence. I’m sorry I started you.” It had been a foolish move from his side. His leg already missed that warm hand that had been removed. He had always appreciated her presence, and now was far from an exception. Nevertheless, it was time for the seeds to be spread.

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#9
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500+


The woad warrior allowed a slow smile to flicker across her lips. Her head turned to gaze up at the chocolate and cream when he spoke, and for a moment, the warrior listened to only the sound of his voice, that deeper melody both cacophonic and euphonic, and she allowed herself to sense that strange dichotomy within him before the weight of his words sunk in. And then the black female breathed in the cool air deeply, his scent mingling with that scent of damp earth and leaves, as if to fully understand she were required to do so. For you and Cercelee, he had said, and she was comforted by his words. And she did not expect him to be idle when danger could be lurking upon the pack boarders. He was not that kind of wolf. If anything, she knew that much about him. A creature of impulse. But he had control too, which was just as important.


Quietly, the female said, "It will be better to play nice before going for the throat," with that silver toned melody. "If Inferni continues their impassivity, I will eagerly join you in a war game, Haku." And perhaps this hesitation in the act of hostility was only her way of buying time, as if she were afraid that a war—if there were to be a war, that is—would start and end without her, just as it had when she had first come to the Dahlian boarders. And if only once in her life, the warrior wished she could have an opportunity to lead others into a battle and test herself. Perhaps it was selfish once more. Or perhaps it was simply fulfillment. Yet, there may not even be such a conflict.


"Cercelee is a creature of peace," the woad marked fae mused as her white orbs found the male. "But even in peace, especially in peace, we must remember war." The female paused as she paraphrased a martial proverb, sighing softly against those endless, agonizing waves. "She will do what she thinks is best for Dahlia de Mai." That was certain. "But one who wishes at all costs to avoid conflict cannot have peace. It is the way of things. The world requires both for the other to exist." War and peace. Hate and love. Dark and Light. "That is why we have you." Why I have you. Regardless of what had been said and done, the female did not forget how she had felt that night beneath the full moon of December.


"It’s okay," the female repeated the male’s words, almost a whisper. "At times, I’m lost in that moment, and I forget. It was not your fault." She was only glad that she had not made a mistake. The female fell silent then, simply enjoying the company that the Lilium offered to her. Her breathing slowed, became even as she lay with the cool earth at her back and the damp heavens above. Her heart was eased, became comforted as she lay with the warmth of the male at her side. She listened then, to the sound of the world. A calm serenity that removed her momentarily from the pains of mortality washed over her as she listened to that eternal sound. A woad bound hand lifted as she gentle brushed her fingers against his shortened tail. "Haku.... Can you stay with me for a while?" The white orbs had closed, and they remained that way as if uncertain. As if afraid that he would leave, be gone if she opened them.

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#10
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700+

There were times like these when the limitations he was restricted by really started to tug and dig into his skin. He understood Cercelee’s policy, but he did not believe in it. She wanted peace, fair enough, but the chocolate and cream male believed more in action than no action at all, especially when it came to dealing with Inferni. It was important to show strength, and they had enough people to defend themselves well. Why were they standing idle waiting when Inferni again had shown their teeth and shown they would never back down no matter how many chances they were given? Cwmfen was being reasonable, but Haku meant he was as well. ”How many times must that strategy fail before other solutions may be used?” He inhaled through tightly clenched teeth, giving birth to a low hissing noise. He was more than delighted that she announced that she would join him if it came to a war. Last time he had been alone against the other clan, while Cer had fled to another pack and simply waited for it all to end. Sure, she was indeed a creature of peace, but that act had cowardice written all over it. A leader stayed with his or her pack, no matter what. The view of what was wrong and right was so different, and he wondered why the hell Cercelee still had him in this position. Why had she not thrown him out so that Cwmfen could move up and take over?

”Inferni have tormented the wolves in these lands from before I was born. Did you ever wonder why my tail is one third shorter than the average?” He almost spat it out, rage slowly starting to burn his flesh. ”I was only a child when it happened. A coyote wandered straight into the pack land and attacked me. My mother and father rescued me, and the only damage I suffered was having a bit of my tail bit off. However, my mother was injured. First she lost her memory, then her mate, her children, and then she fell into a depression she has never gotten out of. Is this fair? Why do they call me a monster when they allow this to happen? My family are not the only victims. There are so many more? Why am I the bad guy!” The last sentence was almost a bark, and the man fell still, his fur slowly settling. What was this? Emotional detachment had always been the way. Not because he had chosen it, but because he was incapable of anything else, it seemed. His eyes were still on hers, and slowly emptied for whatever rage that had burned while his voice had dominated the scene. He was just being foolish. A lash of his shortened tail, and he was empty again, just as he should be. Her finger tips touched his defeated tail, and he felt a strange sort of peace settle.

It was okay, and that particular coyote was long dead. The Lilium knew this because he had investigated the incident at a point when he had reached adulthood and left Clouded Tears to roam as a loner. ”I’ll stay.” The male would do whatever she said. He was more or less obedient to Cercelee because of her leading position alone, but his obedience to the marked female was by choice. She was young and submissive in many ways, but she had both wisdom and intelligence that made her exceptionally precious. The long night he had shared with her had only made him weaker in terms of resisting her intoxicating aura. She was very special, even the notorious psychopath managed to see this. Her moonlit eyes disappeared behind ebon eyelids, but his gaze stayed as it always did. He felt the necessity to feel the warmth from her body, but he had been silly enough today. ”You know I’d do whatever you'd ask of me?” He wanted to kill, to bend and break bodies again. He wanted to hunt the coyote that had lost that little patch of coloured fur. Haku wanted to make another masterpiece in crimson, with the lovely scent of death making the mood. There was freedom in his type of art, inner peace. He longed for it more than anything.

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#11
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700+


A light smile flickered across the black fae’s maw. She understood his frustration and anger, feeling that some of it were her own. But she had come to understand the necessity of packs and societies. She understood the rules and knew that they must be in place for a reason, even if she could not yet see the use of some. Diplomatic relations with packs had been the most difficult for the female to understand. She was a warrior, and she was one who could solve disputes physically. But not all things could be solved in that way. "Each situation, just as the individual, is unique.... The same strategy, no matter how many times it fails, still has the possibility of success." The warrior could understand that much. And she had seen it within herself as she struggled to sort the emotions that some could invoke within her. The male did so now, and she struggled with it even as she lay there.


The black fae was silent as Haku spoke. She gave a single nod in response to his inquiry. Yes, yes she did wonder, and she wondered often. And as his tale unfolded, the female came to understand the male a little better, to better know why he hated the coyotes and Inferni, why he had chosen to take up the position as Head Scout, and why he was so distant from everyone. All these things perhaps began with an emotion, and that emotion had taken over the male, had made him numb. And yet, what was strange was that, despite the darkness that lingered in his heart, despite the darkness that she could now feel through his bristling anger, he had remained with Dahlia, he had remained loyal to this entity. She knew that it must be this that Cercelee saw within Haku. But even if her Lilium had not chosen to share this with her, she had seen it. She only understood him better now.


She paused, her hand lingering upon that tail. "We are all affected by our past.... Some have simply not endured as much as we have, and they have not taken control...." The warrior’s alto melody drifted off, and it was as if she would say no more. But then the melody started up again. "At least your injustice was not done by your own blood. The male who sired me—he seeks me now." The words were slow, as if she struggled with the concept, with the right words to express herself. At times, words were inadequate. "He wants my body...." She knew that Haku had raped his own daughter, but it had not been with the same intent with which her father carried. A soft sigh escaped the Caledonian-Korean as she gave up with that idea. "I came here, tired of running, and I have become what I am. But I know that, should he find me, I could not win." She could not win because she was not strong enough physically or mentally. Her will was strong, but that attraction that she felt for that soulless creature weakened her resolve.


She was silent for a while before she said, "They fear those who know what they want and take it because such freedoms are against the laws of the societies in which they live." But Cwmfen had not been born within the same culture, and she did not have as many limits within her life. And she herself was not so complicated. She was a thinking creature, but she was a solitary and physical creature as well. She had difficulty expressing extreme levels of emotion, and she was unfamiliar with pure hate and even with love. She could not tell whether her intrigues and attractions could be called love. She had been told that she would know, but still she remained uncertain, and she felt as if such uncertainty would be unwavering.


Her mind was lingering in that world between wakefulness and sleep, held there by the incessant ebbing and flowing of pain. She thought of Bane, who had saved her and ‘stitched’ her wounds, and she remembered what the pain had been then. It was less now, but her haste had broken his efforts to close the wounds—at least in part. The blood had long since ceased, but the pain. Bane’s touch upon her neck had been soft, and it was as if that touch had held the pain at bay.... Haku’s voice broke into her mind, just as Bane’s had, and she felt a similar curiosity for this brown male, the curiosity that ever lingered with the presence of this male. The white orbs looked up, contemplating his words and feeling that uncertainty once more. A soft breath escaped her. "And what if I asked you to do that which was left unspoken?"


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#12
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No, she was wrong. Inferni never changed, because the individuals in the clan would always be affected by the blood that had stained the clan’s name. Maybe she was partly right, but by wiping them out, Haku was certain lives would be spared. He was surprised, because he had believed all along that he had not held any ill feelings against the clan. They had been the victims of Haku’s need for bloodshed, but that had been all. Or, he had believed so. Maybe he had been wrong all along, or maybe there was something about Cwmfen that made his blood boil. She had satisfied him that night, but Haku always wanted more. He was not certain of what, but he knew he was not fully satisfied. He did no longer believe that he was able to love though. He had never believed so, not really, but at one point he had been willing to believe. Firefly had made feelings stir in his dead body, but it had only been an illusion. It had been because they were the same. They were fruits fallen from the same tree, and had recognized corruption in each other. It had ended poorly. He did not miss the golden woman. Not really.

The scent of blood blended into her natural perfume and made his hackles rise. Slowly, but it was happening. She spoke more, and realized that he would never allow her father to take her body. Not if Haku could avoid it happening, that was. The thought made him furious, and blended in with his burning core for later use. It was weird how such an individual could have been born and survive if her words were true, which they were. ”He wont find you.” the male said, letting go of the Inferni topic. They disagreed and he could not count on her in the future. It was such a shame, she would have been a strong and beautiful ally. She was too righteous. Justice was an ingrown part of her and could not be altered for Haku’s use. It was a sad thing, because she was a comfortable thing to rest one’s eyes on, as well as a strong soul. Maybe this was why she could never be his.

Her reply back to him about his last words created confusion. What was left unspoken? The demon’s mind was simpler than recommended, but that was what made him what and who he was. He could not hinder his thoughts from reaching after those possibilities that question held. He was certain he was wrong, and chose to not understand the question. She could hinder him doing major damage if she said the right words, but she would not. She did not know what he was plotting. ”And what is that?” His orbs vibrated, seemingly glowing with the anticipation.

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#13
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500+


A smile faintly, almost imperceptibly, graced her maw. She wanted to believe that that were so, that Haku spoke truthfully. The black fae did not doubt that integrity. But somehow she could not. With the idleness of her body, she had had more time to contemplate the world and her Dreams, more so than usual. And those Dreams had been plagued by the darkness—something different than the night and yet quite similar. It held the oppressive quality the ocean’s waters that drank in souls, carrying bodies to the deep. And she had felt it most keenly when she had been dying, when she had been under the care of one Bane Kiles. And it was strange now that she should be fallen now, the ‘stitches’, as the black male had called them, undone. But she was not in his presence; now she was in the presence of Haku, and she could not help but feel an acute—and acute something...it was an emotion that she could not describe. Or perhaps it were not an emotion. But her body was not dying now, only subdued. And as she lay there in that limbo, she was thinking of her father, unsure of whether that strange fear and desire were her own or whether the crow wolf had somehow instilled it within her from her birth.


The white orbs were unwavering as he spoke, and those blue eyes seemed to radiate with some intensity. But these eyes were not blue and deep as the ocean was. They were the vibrant welkin of the twilight heavens, holding some different meaning than the eyes of another man. But for now there was only this single creature in her presence, and she considered only him. Her body remembered what it had given him, what the gods had bid her to give to him, and she knew that it was dangerous for her to have done such a thing. And yet, it was both that danger and the unique darkness of the chocolate male that had drawn her to him, that had made her hunger again in the nights that she had spent alone. But she remembered the night after the hunt of the New Year when he had refused her company to remain loyal to his mate, and so, unknowing of their broken union, she let her gaze fall, turning away from that gaze with a quietness. But there was no sadness or regret. There was only a strange tranquility that was often held by her soul.


The woad bound maw buried itself into the grass, breathing in the soft scent of the rain and of the damp earth. The warm scent of Haku came unbidden to her attention, and she let out a slow breath. The warrior was silent as the woad tipped tail ceased in its movement, falling to cover her thighs and retain the warmth that the cold drizzling sought to take. But she did not want to return to the den; it was not as if she could go down anyway. And the cold would not penetrate too deeply if the rain did not come; she would be able to remain here until discomfort bid her to move. For now, she was content, and she returned her gaze to the male, silently wondering many things, first for herself and then for him, wondering if she kept him from some other errand.

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#14
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500+

He stared at that little smile that graced the raven’s dark lips. What emotion encouraged the curved line? There was a lot Haku could not see. He had failed with Firefly because he had not seen. True, he was a free spirit and had failed in attempting to chain himself down, but that had not been the only problem in their relationship. Haku was an artist at masking his body and manipulating what other people actually saw, but he was not brilliant at reading others. The marked female had always been a mystery, just like every other female. In addition to the usual woman mysteries, she was too deep for him to see what was behind the bottomless pools shrouded in misty white. The male was just a vacant shell inhabited by the remaining pieces of his soul. He was unknowingly broken and was losing more of himself every day as the black cancer was eating him away from the inside. She had said she held no regrets, but could he trust in that? Feelings were dangerous things; they made an individual vulnerable and too imaginative.

What was did she want from him? He was not used to raise such questions. It was always about what he wanted, in the end. He would sacrifice himself for the pack, but this was only because he wanted it. Maintenance and growth were important factors in this, hence why he still acted as the second in command. He had never tried to understand Cercelee because of her odd choice of Lilium. She was the one that gave him this opportunity in the first place. It did not make her immune for what the future held. He did not loathe the female, but she was far from loved. The fact that he had raised her almost as his own daughter had no effect. He had never loved the little child. Coli had been loved to some degree, but that was all over long time ago. When would his own sons break out and face him? Haku would always have trouble finding loyalty in others because he could offer none himself.

Cwmfen did not bless him with an answer. He would never have guessed what the actual answer was. Not truly. He did not have enough insight for that. Was she planning just to let it lie and stay here? The male’s tail brushed aside slowly, and he wondered if he was expected to leave. Truth be told, some work could be done if he did, but the male usually did not do things he did not want to do. Right now he couldn’t be bothered to do any duties. He would await the dismissal from the female. ”Cwmfen?” His body moved ever so slightly towards her, and he stretched his neck to some extent to alter the angle of his gaze. Such moments with her always seemed to make the secui slightly uncomfortable. He never knew what lay beyond the silence that she was so excellent at producing.

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#15
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500+


The warrior was silent as she lay there, for once unsure. Since the attack, the warrior had experienced much uncertainty. And perhaps what made the warrior laugh a little (for what was life if one could not laugh at oneself?) was that she was at times unsure of what it was that made her feel that uncertainty. She had felt it in the presence of Bane, and so she felt it now in the presence of Haku. Where the warrior could become that authoritative image of warriors and leaders, at times of rest she was simply a wolf—timid, curious, and bold all at once. It was this, aside from that feral desire to be free, that kept the warrior alone. However, the curiosity did push her to seek the company of others at times, though often she did not need to for it was the other party that sought her. Her social ineptitudes had made her uncertain before, but now there seemed to be much more that made her feel this way. But then, Death tended to show the doors of many other arenas, and she had been close. Perhaps, she thought, it was what was Fated that made her uncertain. And her Dreams showed her nothing.


The sound of his voice again made her stir. Those white orbs lifted, and she pushed herself up unto her elbows. Her gaze was steady as she watched the male as if she sought to read him. But in the end, the warrior merely smiled. She wondered why she was so conflicted, finding this state so uncharacteristic and ridiculous. And yet, she did not laugh, as if she were unable to find the proper chords. For a moment, she only listened to the dying sounds of her name upon his voice; the sound was suddenly foreign as if it did not belong to her. And then she pushed herself closer to the male, pressing herself against the warmth of his body and in doing so pushing the uncertainty that had threatened to consume her mind away. The soft shivering of her body, having only just been realized, was eased as her hands tentatively and yet confidently held him in an embrace that was also used for her own support. The woad bound maw was on the secui’s shoulder, and the touch of the two different forms was foreign.


The soft smile was almost playful as she felt the effects of his warmth and of their proximity upon her body; the cold and pain were held at bay. “Why must you always hesitate with me, Haku,” the soft susurrus of the melody sang. The warrior was wounded and in the process of healing. There were times in which the female required another to lend her a fleeting strength, and this was one such time. And the child of Nemain was requiring not a physical strength but a mental strength. The white orbs shifted to watch his face. A part of her innocence had been taken that night within his arms, and she had been curious, almost hungering, since then. It was simply a part of life—she understood that as surely as he must. “Can you not accept me now?”

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#16
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500+

She lifted her gaze from the cool grass, but the male was left just as confused for a moment, as their orbs locked together, telling tales of moons and cloudless skies. There went so much mental energy into understanding this female, more than twice the amount he wasted on most creatures. Yet, he was left with nothing. He could not pierce her, open her up and gaze into her world. It was locked inside her, and though she was in no way unique generally speaking as an individual, she was unique to him. Firefly had been too, but now she had been reduced to something foul, and he hoped he would not waste another breath on the copper and gold female. Was it because they had been so close so that they truly knew each other? It was more than likely that Haku’s interest was purely in the hunt. If the two of them had been matched in an alternative universe, would he eventually have broken her heart and discarded her like he had done with Firefly? He was almost certain of this fact.

For now she remained a mystery, and perhaps it was best that way, although he could never reach a true satisfaction that way. She pressed up against him, and the secui stirred slightly. She always surprised him when she sought physical contact, and he could never make out what it meant. Haku was a cold and slightly distant personality, and he knew this. He never sought for body contact unless it was for sex or anything related to it. He did not ‘hug’, and if other family members wanted to touch, they would have to come up to him first and dig their fur into his before he would give a similar response. Their bodies’ current forms were not designed to be together, but the warmth from the woman was pleasant. He felt her damp breath caress an ear, and he flicked it backwards so that the sensitive pelt on his ear would not get irritated. The question was carried on her melodic tones, and he suddenly felt guilty, although he did not know if he had done anything wrong.

Did she want to be a nobody to him? He hesitated because she was special and more valuable, a muse he could not figure out how to use. She confused him more than anyone else, simply because he wanted to figure her out more than anyone else. His brown ears flattened fully as she sang out a second time, wondering why he could not accept her. He didn’t understand. It had always been slightly odd that the other had given herself to him well knowing about the little fact that he had had a mate. Yet, she had never truly asked for anything afterwards, and the memories had become faded like fragments of a dream he could not fully remember. Yet, whenever they were alone, there was something there. He felt his jaws part slightly, the absence of her taste such a tragedy. ”Firefly and I are not together anymore.”

That sentence seemed oddly out of place, yet it was not. Cwmfen was an artistic beauty, while Haku was merely a bold brute. He went back to her silent question. He wanted to hear more from her than this. If not, then it was not real. It was against the rules he had set for himself earlier, but the search for something concrete was not forbidden. ”What do you mean, I always accepted you. You know this.” It was not entirely true, at least not if he had fully understood her question fully.

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#17
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500+


He did not seem to respond to her touch. She did not know what manner of reaction she had been expecting, but the absence of one altogether was almost intriguing to the warrior’s mind. The warmth that radiated from him spoke of life, and yet his stillness spoke of Death. Such dichotomical properties could not be dismissed by the black fae, and as she lingered she could not help but allow her mind to explore this state. When she had felt his touch that night of the Long Nights, he had been alive to the extent that his touch had burned her skin, relinquishing a sensation that her body had often sought. But today, that fire did not exist, and she wondered at it. He seemed somehow different, though the female could not discern in what way he seemed to be so. And she could not decide whether the change was simply in respect to his response to her or whether it was a change in the entirety of his mind. But it was not this with which the female contended; it was whether this change were a good or bad thing that she tried to discern.


His words made the warrior pull away from him. The white orbs looked into those blue eyes, but she did not detect any hint of remorse for his severed relationship. She did not expect to find any, for she knew that he was a creature that did not waste time with things he saw unfit. And so she did not say, as she had noticed was customary, that she was sorry for that fact. But she wondered at it again. "The night you took me," the soft alto began, as if deciding that he needed that explanation, "I was partaking in an ancient ritual—a coming of age rite of passage that I did not have the chance to do when I was within my homelands." That, of course, was only half of the purpose of the Long Nights. "When you found me there, the it had been bidden by the gods for me to accept a male." The white eyes considered the Lilium as if realizing that this may have been irrelevant; she did not think that he believed in the gods; she herself was not overly religious, but she did pay her rites. "But knowing your customs, I did not return so as to respect that relationship." Then again, Haku, too, had resisted her touch the night after the New Year’s hunt.


A strange smile flickered across her lips as a woad bound hand settled on the secui’s shoulder. What she said next did not imply that the male suggested anything; she was not even sure why she said it. "You know that I cannot be chained by those customs, Haku." It sounded as if she would say more, but for a great while, there was nothing but silence as she considered those words. Her breathing was soft, interrupted only by the occasional shudder as she breathed away those dull torrents of pain. And once more she could hear the soft sound of the rain against the brittle grass and her own body as if her seemingly incessant voice had drowned it out. The white orbs, having drifted to the world beyond the chocolate male, returned to him. His words were strange, she decided, because even as he did indeed accept her, he was at once rejecting her...even at that very moment. "And yet you do not." The warrior wondered why.

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#18
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500+

She pulled away and let her moonlit orbs investigate him, but he knew she wouldn’t find anything. He was surprised the couple had lasted as long as they had; taking into consideration that he was a creature that took what he wanted, even if his mate had raged and made life close to unliveable. Although it was all his doing, the man did not flinch when he had thrown her emotions aside time after time as he had taken in a new woman in the quest for physical pleasure. That was all he had. The physical. Emotions were messy and clouded mind and body, creating addiction to that of a drug addict. He was determined not to live that way, because he was unable to do so. Emotion could come in waves, but they were not long lasting and they were hard to predict and analyse because they were unfamiliar to his system. There were different tones inside him, but it was a gentle whisper, and it seldom brushed up into a storm that shook the world.

She let out a little secret that cleared up a immense misunderstanding on the male’s side. It was uncertain if this was the exact truth, but the male only believed in the truth he could see, and so he pulled back from the female, realizing that he had been stupid yet again. The brute had always believed he had power over the other sex, and those he found intriguing he bedded. He had experienced a night with the young Adonis, but he had believed it was mostly his doing, that she surrendered because she felt attraction. He was not sure of this anymore, and so he felt strangely empty. It had been the timing that had allowed the female to give herself to him, not the man himself. He gritted his teeth, letting his orbs stray away from her tranquil gaze. It was disappointment he felt, he realized. It was an empty emotion, yet it multiplied gravity and wanted to tempt him down towards the cool grass.

”Is that all it was..” His words were hollow. Her words kept leaking into the air, the soft alto piercing his ears. Her words explained, but he would grab himself by the neck and remember who he was. What he was. He had tiptoed down the seducing path led by the black woman, and it was time to fully realize that. He believed himself to be strong in body but also in mind. Yet he continuously tripped in the small holes that dotted his road. It did not matter what she thought, what kind of relationship the two sub-leaders had seemed to share. Surely, it was an odd one, but Haku did not want to deal with what he could not understand and control. He wanted to control her and make one night into several ones, but she was not that kind of creature. In addition, she seemed.. wrong for such a meaningless purpose.

There were others he could find, and he would find them once the need became dangerously tempting. Through force or mutual, he would always get what he wanted. He shook his head gently, and his chocolate ears had managed to hold out the rest. It was time to get a grip. ”Do you want me to follow you home to your den, Cwmfen?” It was the least thing he could do. She could not lie alone in the rain and hurt, yet if that was to be her wish, then he would turn and leave.

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