fear will kill you if you don't control it
#1
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Backdated to March 13th.
     The sky was a pale, empty pastel blue. It darkened in certain places, marred by chemical reactions Gabriel did not understand. While he was far from simple, such matters did not concern him. Rather, the hybrid was focused on what he knew would keep him and his family alive. He knew war, he knew battle, and he knew politics. He had survived this long because of such things, though not forgetting the Grace of God.

     He hadn’t dreamt of either fire in a long, long time.

     Gabriel crossed from the direct line of the sun and into the dappled and still bare branches of the forest. His rounds took him by the mansion each day, and this was not simply because it was so close to the border. The endless paranoia kept him focused on his family, and with Talitha living here, he liked to know it was safe. This was not to say he did not distrust his sister’s abilities, but she had been in a peculiar state since the death of their father. It was just as well. While Gabriel had mourned for the man, he still lived in the focused and distant space that belongs to soldiers—he adapted and moved on knowing that one death, in the long run, didn’t mean a thing.


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#2
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In the short time that Jasper had taken up residence in Inferni he had come to learn that not many of the coyotes, at least the ones that he felt he should fear (didn't he fear all of them?), didn't much come around the mansion. Corona was the only one that he saw around much aside from slight glances of others as they passed through, for which Jasper hid himself away in his basement sanctuary, waiting for them to pass. He was growing bolder by each day that passed, traveling the house and sometimes even the lands immediately surrounding it, but he never went very far, always making sure there was a clear path between himself and the front or back door. He still wasn't sure if any of them were aware that a wolf had taken up a place in their home.



He'd been on the porch since early that morning, joined by a frail and halfway broken book, which he sat on the stairs of the porch reading. It had been a quiet day for the most part, having not seen or heard a sign of anyone else. He could only suspect that Corona was out for the day and that no one else had much interest in the mansion. He wasn't much for going out and doing things, at least not since Laurent had disappeared. Flipping past another page in the book, Jasper was blissfully unaware of the not-so-much-a-stranger that was lurking near.
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#3
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     It was the smell that came to him first. Gabriel’s eyes turned up and spotted the pale figure on the porch, one that was as familiar as it was unrecognizable. While his sister’s sympathy seemed endless, Gabriel had little patience for weakness. This was a default that had been trained into him. Kaena had taught him well, but war and experience was a greater teacher still. The years and failures showed on his skin, the greatest of which was the sin of pride which he bore on his face.
     Gabriel approached steadily, calling out as he neared: “Boy, you’re either stupid or incredibly brave.” If he had been any other coyote—namely, Hybrid—then he doubted that the boy would still be sitting there so contently.
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#4
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Completely lost in his book, Jasper continued to flip through page after page, reading and soaking up the fantasy as fast as his eyes and his mind would allow. King Arthur, Knights, battles, everything and anything to keep his attention and his eyes as wide as ever. It was as he was flipping through another page that the voice came. His eyes crept up, still halfway enamored in the book, and for a moment his eyes were cold. The dreaded Mordred had managed to sneak up on him while he was away from his round table of Knights. It was certainly a ploy to do away with him and take over. Of course, Jasper's little fantasy didn't last quite that long. He'd gone from the brave King Arthur to the princess in despair in less than a second.



"Corona said it was okay." He blurted out, though not quite as loudly as he might have had he not attempted to hold the fear in his voice back. That was, of course, him assuming that Corona had even told or asked Gabriel about him staying. "I've been staying out of the way." He assured the other male quietly, sadly. He hadn't done anything wrong, aside from existing, but he couldn't help feeling defensive whenever someone confronted him about being there. Wolves weren't supposed to be there, he knew, but didn't it make it okay if he was invited?
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#5
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     “I know,” he nearly spat, frowning. Gabriel could not explain it, but something about Jasper perturbed him. It was perhaps that the weakness he saw in the de le Poer bloodline insulted his nature, or that the boy resembled their father just too much (though Corona did as well), or some other archaic reason he could not justify. The Aquila clambered up the steps and tilted his head to read the title of the book in his half-brother’s hands.

     Both eyes turned up, remarkably cold. “If the wrong person finds you out in the open, then what?” What happened if Jasper wound up dead? Corona’s responsibility. Except Gabriel had seen what their father’s death had done to her. He could not afford his second-in-command to be in such a state.
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#6
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Jasper knew that Gabriel's words were true, that the wrong person could find him at any moment and end his life just as swiftly as he had been given it. He could say that he would fight back, but everyone knew that it wasn't true and what the outcome would be. He could have said that he would simply run away but even that was never a guarantee of survival. Instead, Jasper shrugged his shoulders, defeated. "Then I guess I didn't hide good enough." And it was a simple as that, something that Jasper had come to accept in the short time he had lived in Inferni. It wasn't something to be shoved on anyone's shoulders if he died. Jasper chose to stay despite the danger, just to hold onto the littlest bit of family that he had left.



"I don't have anything else." They were quiet words, simple, and Jasper didn't doubt that his half-brother would understand what they meant. Why did he stay and risk his life? Because anything and everything that he had left was in a place that he never would have imagined himself.

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#7
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     Gabriel opened his mouth to snap at the boy, but shut it soon after. It had not occurred to him that Jasper’s presence in Inferni had been driven by his absolute solitude. How much his half-brother relied on their father was something he had never considered. Both ears turned back, but his eyes remained cold. With a huff, the hybrid turned his feet and lay on the porch, front paws dangling just over the steps.
     For the first time in over a year, Gabriel sorely missed the home he had set to burn. “Why did you come after him?”

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#8
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For a moment, Jasper wasn't sure who Gabriel was talking about. There had only ever been one person that he had followed from anywhere and it just so happened that the two of them shared a part of that person in one way or another. Why would he want to know that though? Jasper wasn't entirely sure, but he certainly wasn't the one to withhold any kind of information. Gabriel hadn't tried to kill him or run him out yet and that was enough to earn Jasper's respect, even if it didn't mean much. "I set their bed on fire a long time ago when I was little." He began, not even sure how much sense it would make or how much he would remember. "He got mad and hit me and I guess my mom started a fight with him." He wasn't certain, but that was what he had been told.



"She left sometime but I don't know when, just disappeared. She didn't tell anyone she was going and didn't say goodbye." Sometimes, even though he would never admit it, Jasper hated his mother for not saying goodbye. "After that everyone started to wander off, all my brothers and sisters, and then one day dad was gone and I was alone." He shrugged a little bit then, not entirely certain that his reasons for following would seem worth anything. "I just wanted to tell him sorry for making her leave." Someone else might have just been able to forget it all and move on, but that wasn't Jasper.

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#9
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     There was no clear body reaction in the doggish male. His posture remained relaxed, unmoving except for his ears, which swiveled to the source of the noise behind him. Despite the words he heard, he did not completely understand what was being told. Something terrible had happened with Jasper’s parents; something he was directly responsible for. It did not startle Gabriel to hear his father had struck one of his children. Ahren had always been unpredictable—it was something he had come to see over the years, despite the fact the two had never been very close. They were too much alike. Had they come together, they might have destroyed one another.

     What Jasper told him explained everything, though it made little sense. However, Gabriel likened this to his relationship with his mother. He had owed her nothing, and given her everything. He had come back out of his warped loyalty to her. The Aquila kept his eyes ahead, unaware that they had turned remarkably hollow. “Everyone leaves eventually. Some come back. Most don’t.”


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