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Ade’s hiding out in a shack in the Dampwoods, maybe Sankor can confiscate the bottles and enjoy them himself at another time XD?
Pickles scurried about her feet as she regarded the half dozen bottles she had collected. They were of varying colors and shades, brown, ruby red, clear. Adelaida knew what they were, knew what they were for, but she had never attempted at partaking in them. She believed too that too much of it could kill a wolf, especially one not shifted, or so Fyodor had told the Koios children long ago. That idea, at least was alluring. Foolish thoughts and slurring words were not, she did a nice enough job of being pathetic on her own. But to fall into sleep, a cold stupor that she wouldn’t wake from, that was a nice enough thought.
The only way she could think to open them was to break the bottles, or shift, neither of which she was willing to do. Ingesting broken glass was not on her agenda, and even if she meant to end her miserable self, she did would not do so with her body so hideously distorted. Sighing, she turned away and curled up, facing the wall of the tiny shack. She remembered collecting the bottles, dragging them back in a sack she carried in her mouth. They were heavy but something made her want them. Looking at them in the morning reminded her that if it got worse she didn’t have to endure. Of course, Adelaida did not think it could get worse.
Dahlia de Mai was almost a distant memory, no doubt Alexey would be glad at her absence and Sankor probably had not noticed yet. Pickles had been the only one she saw for days, and her meals were erratic, she did not mind or notice the loss of muscle and weight as she did nothing but sleep for days on end. It was what she deserved anyhow, the only thought that bothered her about all this was how disappointed Fyodor would be at the sight of his daughter. But as she had so tactfully pointed out to Alexey, he was dead.
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The two toned male hadn't seen his older sister since the pack meeting and he was beginning to wonder what the hell she was up to. His last talk with Alexey hadn't gone as planned but who was he to even make plans anymore on lecturing and trying to just hold a conversation with anyone. He'd seen the hurt in Lexey's eyes at the mention of the small puppies disappearance but he hadn't realized just how much it had really affected her. She was right, he didn't know her like he use to, they had both changed. He sighed at the thought though knew that it wasn't a bad thing, he was always in a constant state of change, always just rolling with the flow, even when the results weren't as expected.
He'd moved away from the packlands today to try and search out the smallest packmates for a while but he had no luck. He was beginning to wonder if the tiny puppies were just a dream the whole pack had been so desperate for they'd begun to build a world around. He scowled himself for even thinking such but that was as far as he got because the scent of someone he did know passed his way and forced the male to stop in his tracks. Wondering just what his sister was doing outside the packlands and just what she was up to he turned off course and began to investigate.
He had been surprised to find that her trail ended outside a human establishment, abet a rather poor one. The male circled the building a few times before approaching the entrance and trying to force his way in as he called out softly. "Ade?.." he could smell the pungent scent of Pickles as well, his curiousity turning to worry as lines creased his brow as he frowned. Just what in world was going on.
Peeking his head inside the door it took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darker aspects of the shack before he exclaimed. "What in the hell.." He wasn't even sure what disturbed him more, the dishelved sight of his sister or the strange collection of bottles that she seemed to be hording away in the building. He knew that his sister wasn't happy about being within the pack and he'd learned that she'd fought with Alexey again but he didn't understand that she too held a deep dark secret and that now he was the lone wolf in the family. For a family that seemed to live their lives unchanged for so long they'd had a pretty quick wakeup call to this new world.
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The broken girl had not been expecting anyone, least of all him, yet some how the voice did not startle her. Instead it only penetrated the hazy state her mind was in and groggily and slowly she turned to face him, barely lifting her head from the ground. Her eyes no doubt retained their brightness, but they were sad, and the rest of her seemed dimmer, faded and washed out. Confirming that it was only Sankor Adelaida merely sighed and lowered her head to her paws again, it was too much of a chore to hold it up.
One ear flicked in irritation at his words, what did he care what she did in her or what she had? He hadn’t been around to prevent this, he didn’t have the right to judge now. Dully she stared up at him, still not acknowledging his presence except for a doleful stare. Adelaida was fine letting the silence hang between them, she barely noticed it. Lids slid shut over her eyes and she stayed that way for many long moments, waiting to hear the padding away of paws. The sound did not come.
Opening her eyes once more, she regarded her brother, still standing above her. If he was anyone else, a Luperci or coyote or both, he could so easily take her life from this position. The thought was no longer terrifying, as it had been weeks before. Now her enemies were Alexey and Sankor, second only to herself. Realize he was not leaving, she spoke, her voice almost too soft to hear. “What do you want Sankor?”
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Sankor stood in the doorway and just scanned the scene before him. When Adelaida just barely lifted her head to glance at him before falling back into the same position she'd been in the large two toned male frowned and stepped further inside the building. Glancing around from time to time the male couldn't figure out just what the hell his sister thought she was doing. He knew that she'd been unhappy when he'd asked her to join the pack but he didn't think that she'd go this far. He just shook his head as a soft whine escaped his throat before he realized it.
The light murmur that fell from Adelaida's lips was almost unheard but Sankor just stared down at her a moment before replying. "What do you think I want?" he asked. His brows furrowed as he padded over to sit next to her. "Ade.. what did you do to yourself.." He'd seen his siblings in low states before but this topped them all. Pinning his ears back the mahogany male shook his head, feeling guilt for he knew that he should have checked in on his sister more often. Instead he'd been more interested in making friends and finding his place in their new home.
One paw reached out to touch Ade's own paw lightly as concern filled his eyes, pleading for an answer. He didn't want to get turned away, not that he would listen if she did.. but he was her brother.. they'd always been close. She wasn't going to shut him out now was she?
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Adelaida recoiled at the touch of the male’s paw, brother that he was. She didn’t deserve affection, from anyone. Of that she was sure. Pulling herself inward, her paws safely tucked underneath her belly, sad sea blue eyes stared up at the male. For a long time she couldn’t answer him, couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. She hadn’t done anything, this is just how she was. How she should be. Maybe this was her natural state. Yet she knew how pathetic she really was. Yet she didn’t blame herself, even if she hated herself. She blamed Alexey for pulling the ladder out from beneath her, but maybe she had pushed Alexey to do want to do that.
“She hates me.” She did, and why? That fight, so long ago before Alexey had left seemed so stupid and pointless, yet Alexey had held onto it. Instead of their usually joyous reunions she had snapped at the girl, making her feel joining Dahlia was a mistake. Making her know it rather. And it had only spiraled from there. They both had said irreversible, damaging words, and their relationship would probably never be the same. They could never be best friends again, sisters again maybe, but best friends? Adelaida didn’t think so. And she didn’t think Alexey would love her again either. Did Sankor even? It was questionable. “She doesn’t want me there, and you don’t either…” It was all she could say.
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Sankor sighed when Adelaida pulled herself away from his touch. He knew that his sister had always been a bit haughty when it came to certain things but he didn't like the way she was acting now one bit at all. He stood there watching her, so disjointed and ghostly. No words came from the woman for a long time, no real answer was given to what had happened to her. Her once sleek and plush pelt was now beraggled and she herself seemed to be reduced to skin and bones. He felt ill to his stomach but for once he didn't know what to do.
When her voice finally broke the silence his heart dropped. It was all back to what had happened when Alexey had returned to her pack.. and found her siblings there as well. He knew that Alexey's disappointment at him had been valid he had just up and left them with no real reason at all.. he'd hoped atleast that the girls would have been able to settle their differences but he could see now that that had never happened. "Ade.. you two always use to fight and bicker.. and like always in the end you'd make up.." He knew he was just shooting air because they weren't kids anymore and real life was a little bit harsher than their silly childhood wars.
When Adelaida changed her tune to include both siblings Sankor frowned and burst out. "Now you're just being impossible!" He sat down beside his sibling and shook his head, not knowing what she wanted anymore. "How do you know what I want Ade, have you even asked me.." He wasn't for certain but it just seemed that his sister just wanted to be miserable anymore. "Ade, I don't even know why I bother trying to prove anything to you.. you're just going to believe what you want..." there was sorrow in his voice as he stated what seemed to be the truth now.
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It was typical Sankor reasoning, trying to pick apart her logical fallacies. Often times, when she was of a more stable state, it worked. How could she know what he did or did not want if she never asked him? Today though, it wasn’t in the cards. She wouldn’t take his words at face value or even consider them long enough to see the reason in them. Adelaida wouldn’t consider her past fights with Alexey, ones that had blown over easily enough and left neither of the competitors worse for the wear. This time was different, Adeladia knew that much. This time they had both crossed lines that they couldn’t just jump back across. And why couldn’t Sankor see it?
“She doesn’t want to make up.” Her breathing was fast and shallow, in came only after some internal struggle. “She doesn’t want me anymore… S-She doesn’t need me.” It was a hard thing to admit, not needing one another. In the Koios family that was blasphemy. They had always relied heavily on one another. Always sought each other out in good times and bad. And now? Adelaida felt lost, feeling as if she was not needed when she herself needed Alexey more than ever. It just didn’t seem fair.
Sad and sullen eyes moved away from Sankor, not even wishing to look at him as the words tumbled out of her mouth. “If you wanted me there… in Dahlia… where have you been? Why haven’t I seen you around? Why have I spent so many days alone, unable to find you and with Lexey not even wanting to t-talk with me?” Maybe Adelaida hadn’t tried hard enough to seek out her brother, but he hadn’t tried at all. Cwmfen, the black warrior who had admitted them, took most the blame in Adelaida’s mind and she always would perhaps, even if the male hadn’t spent any time with her at all. Someone had to take the blame, and she, even as upset as she was, would only place so much on Sankor. She might say one thing, but Adelaida felt another. She loved her siblings, even if she couldn’t say it.
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If it was anyone else the male would have had a hard time losing his temper but he'd grown so use to Ade's strange behavior and her need for pity that sometimes he was lead to believe that all she needed was a firm nip on an ear or a chomp on a shoulder. She just let herself sink into nothing and didn't care what happened when she knew that their were others who did care for her. He didn't know if she lived to see the pain and suffering she brought into others but more often than not her selfish deeds did just that. He didn't have the heart though to bury her nose in her faults and let her mull over the consequences alone.
Instead he just sighed when she spoke up about their sister and what she wanted. He shook his head and asked. "How do you know what Alexey wants. Have you bothered to ask her without trying to fight. You're being selfish Ade. Your making this all about you when it's much bigger than that!" He had felt the irritation building up inside him but he hadn't expected to go on some rant to his poor sister. He knew she was in a delicate state and yet he'd spent the past few moons listening to everyone's mistakes and faults and not one person bothered to ask him what was on his mind. He didn't mind his role in the pack.. but sometimes the therapist needed their own therapist.. and Ade was beginning to remind him of that.
..and yet she continued on, demanding to know where he'd been and what had kept him away from her. He stood firm as his normally cheery voice took on a harder edge as he spoke frankly. "I've been doing my duties to my pack and friends. I've been acting like life is worth living." He stared down at the hopeless shape of his sister as he shook his head in disgust. "Don't put the blame on me Ade, get off your ass and stop feeling sorry for yourself." He watched her quietly for a moment before commenting. "I won't watch you kill yourself, but I won't give you sympathy for a cause that you brought upon yourself." His voice was firm as he spoke, though he wasn't sure if he could hold, he knew Ade knew very well how to play into his weaknesses.
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I've been doing my duties to my pack and friends. I've been acting like life is worth living. Adelaida had been silent until those words fell upon her like a blow. Suddenly, her body was shaking as her frame was wracked with sobs. The female couldn’t control it, all the anguish and hurt she felt was now being expelled from her in the forms of tears and cries, her mourning was loud. Sankor couldn’t ignore it, she knew that, but it hadn’t been her intention to make him watch this. It was only that truly she could not help herself. The sobs just kept coming. She couldn’t even speak between them, she could barely breathe between them.
More words came from her brother and with every good intentioned sentence, more cries came from the female. His efforts only elicited louder and more violet sobbing. Finally her words came, and they were louder than she would have expected, taking strength from the heaving cries that were issuing forth from her. “Go away...” It would be easiest for the both of them, Adelaida knew that. And she liked easy.
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He should have known better, she was a girl and his sister. Normally he wasn't snippy or brash when it came to bringing the truth to light but somehow her sad words had tested his temper and he'd snapped. The next step in chain of events laid the guilt on thick as he watched his sibling begin to break down in body racking sobs. He stood there stupidly, his ears pinning back against his skull as he tried to figure out what to say to bring her back away from the brink. All in all he just ended up looking the fool, opening and closing his maw with no words departing. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he reached out to place his paw on her shoulder but withdrew it as she spoke, her words strong and harsh on his ears.
He shook his head, though it was pointless since she couldn't see what he was doing. He moved forward and attempted to nuzzle against the side of her face along her ear as he firmly stated. "No. If I've abandoned you so much in the past I'm not going to do it now." He hadn't really believed that he'd abandoned her but if he put himself in her place he'd probably feel differently, that much he knew. His forest hued eyes stared down at her as he waited.
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She hadn’t believed he would have given in, admitted to abandoning her, admitted to doing her wrong. But he had done just that, and Adelaida should have known better. This was Sankor, her brother, the righter of wrongs. It would have been out of character for him to get up and walk away, leave her to her own devices. Yet that was what she had been expecting. It was out of character for Alexey to hold so bitterly to their argument from months and months ago, to physically lash out on her siblings, but sometimes others did the unexpected and one was left awed and confused. And hurt. So very hurt.
Yet he was still standing there, and then he was beside her nuzzling her and his affection was met only with more body wracking sobs. Adelaida wanted him there, wanted his love, but she felt foolish and silly receiving it. In no way did she deserve it, and she knew Sankor did not like to give others what they did not deserve, he would pity her later, wonder why he gave in. Brothers and sister could be confusing things. “Just... just lay here with me?” The words escaped through short breaths and tears, sounding pathetically like a plea, which is what it was.
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Sankor was baffled at this change that had overcome his sibling and he didn't even know where to start. Here he was suppose to be the one to help set everyone's wrongs, to listen to their problems and make everything better and yet he hadn't even realized just what his poor sister had been going through. The guilt that racked him was too much as he sat beside her and hoped that at least she would forgive him for not leaving. She should know he would never leave, he'd always been there for her, sometimes late, but always there none the less. Her sobs broke his heart each and every time and yet he was at a stand still, she wouldn't let him in and she wouldn't let him go. They were family after all.
When her voice finally did grace his ears he rasped his tongue across the top of her head and lay beside her, his throat outstretched over her shoulder blades as he whispered softly. "I could never let you go Ade, have you not realized yet that I love you." He let out a soft sigh as he closed his eyes, listening and feeling the emotions that were tearing through the girl who was walking backwards in a world always moving forward.
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