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IC:
Tap. Tap. Tap. The sound of rain hitting glass windows made Jazper's head pound. He had ran away from life. Hid away in the library, the basement, Deuce's cabin. He wanted to feel free, to get rid of this lingering shadow he was becoming. Sitting on the red couch he stared once more into dancing flames, much like he had done when Naniko had bumped into him downstairs. The flames were captivating the way they moved, the way heat radiated from the embers in waves. It was natural, meant to be.
Tap. Tap. Tap. A growl erupted from from the once gentle giants chest at the tumult of the rain. Jumping to his feet he ran up to the window and glared with piercing gold eyes. The sun still shown through the clouds as if a greater being was staring down at the Knight, watching every move and laughing as he slowly turned on his good nature. A grumble grew deep within the male as he walked along the walls shutting the long red blinds and hurrying back to his refuge in the center. This time it was no longer a refuge. Rapidly looking around the red blinds reminded him of blood stains against the white great hall. The rain tap tap tapped at the windows, his head pounding in time. Would this noise not stop?!
Large tensed hands covered his ears and pressed them flat against his midnight coat. Whining he wished, pleaded for the noise to stop. His heart, his head, his body ticked as he fell to his knees. Finally, an angry roar of frustration echoed and bounced back and forward on the pearl walls that seemed to trap him in his obsession. Where was Garnet? Why had she left? Why couldn't his only daughter, Lily, have survived. This wasn't the way to live. Anyone who had watched Jazper over the past couple days could tell that his broken heart was causing insanity.
"Stop ..just stop..." He whispered.
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300+
The snows had finally melted into rain. It had been raining with little reprieve since mid-February, casting the world in gray. Perhaps at any other time, under different circumstances, Kansas would have been disheartened by the disagreeable weather. Seasonsonal darkness had affected him last year; perhaps it would in the years to come. But the rain with its thick, shadowed clouds of gray had little effect on him now. He may even have gone as far as to say he liked it.
Kansas had spent the morning in his room, listening to the rain with a pencil and parchment in his hands. He was sketching the clouds and rain outside his window, using different shades and textures to capture the image. It was a bad drawing, and he did it absently. His mind was elsewhere. On Savina, and his unborn puppies. There were two weeks left until their birth, and he was jumpy and nervous in his excitement. Finally he set his sketch down and exited his room, moving through the house with the idea of seeing who was in the living room.
He was startled to hear an unsettling roar from within one of the rooms as he passed. Kansas paused, shook his head in surprise. He couldn't place who had made the agonized noise, but it wouldn't have been right not to check it out. Slowly, he pushed the door open. The large man he knew as Jazper was there, on his knees, a pained expression on his handsome face. Kansas chewed his lip, glancing anxiously toward the door. "Jazper..." He moved closer. All he really knew about the dark boy was that he was Lucifer's son, and that he and his mate were expecting children of their own. He remembered this from their brief encounter in the caves. "Are you... okay?"
The question was stupid. Of course he wasn't.
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OOC: I'm sorry Jazz is a big meanie for a little bit D:
IC:
The pain was over whelming, His body shook as he gritted his teeth trying not to cry. His mind was a confused, his fur was untidy, and his eyes blood shot from nights with no sleep. It was not like he didn't want to sleep, it was just that every time he tried he would end up tossing and turning uncomfortably until he passed out and woke up either in tears or screaming in fear. The nightmares haunted him every night. Horrible images of Garnet being killed and even worse dreams of Lily as a teenager happy and alive. His mind was haunted with the images of these dreams. What would Lily have been like had she lived?
A scent filled the room, the scent that belonged to Kansas. The white male was not a very close friend to the larger coal warrior. They had hunted together with the girls once and had a few friendly conversations. 'Jazper' Pained amber eyes rose slowly to look into the pure blues of his packmate. His mind was clouded as he repeated the name spoken in his head reassuring himself that it was indeed his own name. He shuffled backwards as Kansas approached asking if he was alright. The question made him think, of course he was alone and upset but was he really okay? Looking around and then down at his hands that shook ever so slightly he returned his gaze to the man before him. And shook his head. “No Kansas I'm not okay.” He forced his mind to try to think logically for a moment, “Garnet left me.” This fact seemed easy to say. The fact that mates came and went was not a new concept to Jazz, in fact this seemed to be one of the more common facts of life. However, the other part of the story was the real killer, “She had a miscarriage of a daughter. Garnet left me a letter telling me she named the pup Lily Rhiannon because of her white coat.”
He was not in a simple heart broken state because of a mate lost but in a constant aching and sharp pains in his hear because his daughter had not lived. It seemed that he was not meant to have a family at all. His entire life had been leading to this climax, the final straw. The gods were laughing at him and picking off his family one by one, leaving him isolated from the world. Standing to his feet he began to feel for an emotion besides the dullness of pain. He wanted to feel more then just broken. Here he was being torn apart form the inside while Kansas was happy and skipping around with a happy mate and soon happy pups. “I bet your whole life is fucking sunshine and rainbows isn't it?” The Rhiannon questioned with a hushed growl. The anger felt warm inside him, felt good. It was a new sensation helping him divide from the constant feeling of numbness.
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Sorry for the wait, my darliiiiiing. D:
300+
Kansas had an unspoken history with Jazper. Whenever he saw the boy, he was reminded immediately of Lucifer. The two were alike with their dark coats and hulking frames, their strong and handsome faces. It left an unsettled feeling in the pit of his belly, like water swirling after being hit by a pebble. The night with Naniko and Lucifer was meaningless in the scheme of things. Meaningless to them, perhaps. But Kansas remembered. That was where he'd learned that he was attracted to males as well as females. That he'd felt his first attraction to a man. And the idea that he felt this way made him feel somewhat guilty to be in front of Jazper without the boy knowing any of this.
The white male tried to push these thoughts back into the recesses of his mind as he gazed at his pack mate. What was important now was the fact that his acquaintance was in trouble. Kansas knew what sadness was. He'd felt it before. That feeling of utter defeat, of brokenness. His first words were blunt, the first prick of the knife. As he told of Garnet's and his tragedy, Kansas immediately looked at the floor. He didn't know what to say. One arm hung limply at his side, his other hand grasping his elbow. There was never a gap in horrible things happening. Why couldn't there be?
Kansas looked up when he thought Jazper was through. "I'm so sor - " but he was interrupted. I bet your whole life is fucking sunshine and rainbows isn't it? The pale boy's mouth opened wordlessly. The words were the plunge of the blade... In the midst of the shock of hearing the anger in his fellow's voice, he did feel guilty. It truly wasn't fair that he should be doused with such blessings while Jazper writhed in the pain of his curses. Kansas felt like crying. He reached out to Jazper but then withdrew his hand, leaning instead against the doorsill. "No... Well, I... Jazper." He said his name and dropped his eyes slightly, then looked at the man, helpless. "I'm s-sorry that happened to you. That shouldn't have happened. Not to you... anyone..."
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