When I was young....
#1
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!! I put it up for you to reply to when you have time. No rush Big Grin

I'm RAGE FILLED AND YOUR RIGHT THERE!


Blind but not useless. Svara kept repeating this to herself as she grabbed the herb and rolled it into the cloth drying it out. There was alot she hadn't been able to do in the past month, but the she wolf wasn't going to whine about it. In the end she was just glad for the company of the adonis. The she wolf had helped her in many cases, and she was greatful, in her own way. Working with her herbs she listened to the soft sounds of the woods and the shift of the wind in her coat. Today the red cloth wasn't tied around her scarred eyes. Wasn't hiding the broken shards of her life.

Rolling the herbs into the cloth the she wolf couldn't smell another and began to hum. Her harsh treatment to Leroy had caused a slight pain in her chest, but not for guilt only a selfish need. That was what she told herself. There were so many people she wanted to start over with, change the standers, make up for what had never started off good. Maybe it was better that she was hated. Then when she was told to leave the pack, no one would care. Because Svara was sure Cercelee and Haku wouldn't take her shit any more.

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#2
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300+

The secui had been foolish enough to venture outside again despite of his illness. The idea had been to attempt to hunt a small game or something so that he could execute the burning sensation of starvation. The male was proud (obviously), and so he had refused to ask for assistance. Alexey and other random wolves seemed to keep the two shitty kids with food, so Haku had spent days and weeks in his room, sleeping the days away or having hallucination about a shadow wolf without eyes. Haku did not know the meaning of fear, but more than once he had felt a shill creep up his spine when his body flinched and shivered beyond his control. Goddamn. He had not attempted to get this sickness treated, and was determined to just survive until it lost its grasp of his body and died. The Lilium of Dahlia was strong and proud, and he needed no one. The cocoa and cream male padded slowly in-between the light trees that struggled with the renewal of life that eventually would attain the colour of green.

The scent of Svara had entered his system, and so he automatically followed, wondering how she was doing. He had been the one to first discover the youth after her mother had clawed her eyes out. This reminded him, he would have to track down that chocolate lady for some payback. Not now, later. Even though his vision was clouded, he had no issues finding her. He did not even attempt to stay quiet as he approached, because his pace was unsteady and rough because of his current condition. The girl was working on herbs instead of openly pitying herself. That was a very good thing. He snorted and shook his head slightly, causing stars to dance in front of his eyes and the world darkened for a few seconds. Goddamn. ”How’s the blind lady today?” The secui’s voice was slightly warmer than zero degrees, offering peace before war. Why did he bother..

After his voice had carried his words over to the young woman, the man allowed his body to rest against a tree. Why did it have to be so fucking hard to keep his balance? Headache, dizziness, more ache everywhere, and that all consuming hunger. Maybe he should try cannibalism.

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#3
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!! I put it up for you to reply to when you have time. No rush Big Grin

I'm RAGE FILLED AND YOUR RIGHT THERE!


She kept working the herb drying this one out. Some of them needed the moisture to have any curing properties. She moved the herbs back and forth the repetition giving her something to do while she thought. She missed life before this. Mostly she missed Haku and Firefly. Most couldn't stand either one of the two, but Svara had admited to herself a while ago that she had come to love them both. Even if Haku had treated her unfairly on many accounts. Svara continued to hum lost in thought and not even listening to anything. Even when she wasn't listening the males scent was strong, and it was filled with sickness.

She didn't say anything until he spoke to her, his words making her know exactly where he was. Lifting her gaze to him her one good eye could see his form leaning against a tree. Was he so sick? Getting to her feet Svara went to him. She was tall she always had been tall and lanky. Standing in front of him she felt like it had been forever. "I don't know weather I should fucking hit you, or if I should hug you." The red female said.

She took her own rout though and wrapped her arms around the males neck gently hugging him. It wasn't like her, but every one had their moments. Pulling back quickly Svara let her head turn so he couldn't look into her one good eye. "What's wrong with you Haku? Your sick I can smell it, your balance is effected because your leaning on that tree, and if your sick there is only one reason your out and that would be because your hungry. " She knew about him an Firefly not being mates anymore, but Svara wasn't going to talk about that, it wasn't something she carred about to much. Their relationship had nothing to do with how she felt about them.

"I'm sorry about Leroy and my mother. Your only going to hear this from me one male so don't fucking think I'll say it again!" She growled at him strength in her voice. "I fucking love you, so if you bloody do what you did to me again I'll kill you myself." The she wolf barked at him before taking in a deep breath. "Now tell me what's bloody wrong with you so I can fix it." She grumbled her hair held in a high pony tail keeping it out of her eyes. Her staff was leaning against a tree a few feet away, the one that Hanna had carved and given to her.

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#4
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300+

Her form turned to him and started to come closer. The male staggered backwards, baring his teeth blindly in her direction. She had to stay away from him! He did not want to be touched. Why did she look at him, she was blind! His strange series of thoughts revealed more than anything that he was seriously ill. Hit him or hug him? He wanted neither, and she would do good to stay polite with the second in command, but had she ever managed to do such a thing? Uhm, no. Fair game. He stayed still when she came closer. Oh bloody hell she embraced him. She spoke more, and he flattened his ears. Her words hurt his brain, he couldn’t think clearly with her words inside his head. It was his head, not hers! Svara should be able to feel it as well as smell it. Haku was burning up, although he was well enough to walk outside (apparently). She was right though. He was only here because there was a screaming super massive black hole where his stomach should be, inhaling his entrails and spewing out ache.

It got too much when she seemed to threaten him. He had done to her? What the fuck, who wouldn’t have done this? He flashed with blistering white teeth. ”Throw your shit up into the air and it will hit you in the face eventually, female. She was spinning around in his vision. ”Do I look like a healer?” the male did not know what was wrong. ”Dizziness and fever.” That was all he gave her. She did not need to know more. He blinked, trying very hard to keep his gaze on her, but found it hard because the whole world was acting weird. He growled lowly, though it was not particular directed at her. He did not want to be here. He needed food, something to eat. Now.

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#5
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!! out of character.

I'm RAGE FILLED AND YOU'RE RIGHT THERE!


worry was nagging at her heart. It was strange for svara to feel the emotion, but she did. He was like always being mean and not helpful to her at all, but was she? Of course not that would make life no fun. Svara knew she had no right to blame him for letting her mother into the pack, but a feeling of hurt always came into her breast when she thought about it. She shouldn't love him like she did. Turning her good eye to him again she let her usually anger filled face fall blank and a serious look passed over it.

"It has hit me in the face Haku, I've learned my lesson." She said in lightly now, her husky voice holding the weight of what she had learned. "Sit down before you fall down." She said with warning. Turning away from him she went to her staff and grabbed the weapon, and aid. It was taller then her with beautiful carvings in the wood, but that was nothing to the blind girl, only that it was a gift. She had food. Svara knew if she gave it to him she wouldn't eat for a while maybe even a few days, but it was better then letting him starve. It only made her feel useless to know she couldn't hunt for herself.

Moving to where her prey was she hadn't gone far from where Haku was. It was a baby deer that hadn't been killed long ago. Picking up the dead animal svara balanced it best she could while using her staff for more balance. The staff also helped her to keep a sense of balance, because being blind had also robbed her of much of that. Making her way to Haku she hoped he was sitting now. Kneeling down she set the animal down. "You need to eat so eat. I have some ginger for the dizziness." She said still in her usual husky voice. Going back to where she had come she got the ginger and pot filled with water. Not watching Haku at all she started to build a fire and put the pot of water on it and make some tea, because she was sure it would help him dizziness enough for him to stop complaining.




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#6
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300+

When did that female ever learn her lessons? She had been here for ages, but she had never learned. He had given her a chance. In fact, he had given her several chances, but she had turned them down and created rage within his heart. She was one of his worst mistakes. He had never given an individual as many chances as she had been given. He had given her up a while ago, but she was still part of Dahlia, so he was still somewhat responsible for her. Seemingly her vision was not completely ruined, only partly. It was a good thing, knowing she was not completely useless to Dahlia de Mai. Her voice seemed light and sincere though, but the male would not allow himself to believe her. He stared at her, his eyes empty for his conflicted thoughts.

She spoke again and he took her advice, and decided to sit down. He grimaced slightly, especially when she walked away and came back with a little deer. He had smelled the odour, but had believed it was another hallucination, a product of his starving brain. He kept his body still, but could not keep from revealing his teeth in anticipation. The moment the animal was dropped to the ground, the man was over it, tearing the bloody flesh apart and gulping it down without taking the time to taste it. He was bound to get a stomach ache later because of the hurried meal, but the man had no self control with a sick body that demanded nutrition. Her words sounded in the air, but he did not pay attention to her, too devoted on tearing up the small game.

It did not take long before half of the small deer was consumed. He had not been considerate, and so the best meat was gone. Chest, neck and rump were more or less gone on the dead baby deer. Haku was more than satisfied though. He licked his pink muzzle as his gaze wandered over to the reddish coated woman, which had built a fire and was boiling some water. What the heck? Warm water was no good for drinking. He did not guess that she was making some medicine. His tail moved slowly as he got up on his limbs, a wave of dizziness almost throwing him down again. He slowly walked closer to the female and her fire and sat down again with obvious relief. He had yet to experience the feeling of being completely filled up with meat, but it would come. The hollow ache was already gone.

”So you can still see, huh?” His voice was dry, but it had fragments of satisfaction in it. Both because his hunger was gone, and because she had recovered.

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#7
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!! out of character.

I'm RAGE FILLED AND YOU'RE RIGHT THERE!


Svara grinned and continued to do her work. She had always liked his company, no matter how obnoxious and mopy he acted. Then again she was worse with her tempermental selfish nature. Boiling the water wasn't taking that much time. The fire kindled and snapped as she set the pot just right over it. Of course she hadn't expected Haku to leave any of the deer so when she heard him scarfing she wondered how she would find food after this. Part of her want to tell him he owed her dinner, but she wasn't in the mood to hear his growls.

When he came to sit beside her she almost found herself getting up to make sure he was okay. Forcefully she kept herself down not wanting him to know her secret. Letting her mind think about his words instead of other things she nodded lightly. "Not enough to be happy, but enough to be miserable." She said in her husky voice. The tell tale sign of the water reaching a boil came to her ears. Picking of the ginger she started to shred the leaves and drop the sticks into the pot. The tea would only take a few moments, maybe the amount of time she would need to talk to him.

With out looking at him she spoke. "You know I hate to admit it but I was wrong to blame you." A rough sigh came from her. "I was being foolish and I paniced when I saw my mother here." She wasn't about to tell him she fear Sabeen would do the same thing to Haku she had done to Svara's father, and for some reason that Scarred her shitless. The smell of the ginger got stronger as she spoke, her voice lighter then it used to be, but still that unique husky tone. "That time with Leroy.....I had no right and I know that now. Haku you don't really understand me do you? No one bloody understands me." She said roughly as she grabbed her staff and stood going to retrieve a cup for him to use. Coming back she kneeled down and scooped out the ginger tea that most likely would taste bitter. "Drink this it will ease your nerves and get rid of the dizziness." She said handing him the steaming cup. "And wait till it's fucking cool." She said harshly, warning him with her harsh words.




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#8
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700+


The heat from the fire the female had made competed silently with the man’s own fever, thick and black blending in with orange and red. His crimson lips parted so that he could roll out his tongue, and from the way he felt, evaporating a steam of fever hot saliva. There was a bitter taste in the back of her mouth, a silent warning of what was soon to come. The man grumbled under his breath, feeling sicker than ever. His ears shifted to listen to the crippled female’s answer, then rolled back to lean towards his skull. Misery loved company. There would always be rage and fire in the girl. She had not lost anything or gained anything from the accident. She had always seemed to be miserable in one way or the other. The blue gaze edged with red watched the female perform her magic.

She confessed her mistake, and the man let his muzzle dip up and down like a rubber duck in a troubled bathtub. Haku was not a sensible man, although Dahlia was an exception. What he did here he did for Dahlia, and he had yet to regret any of the choices he had made while being a part of this pack. This included his attempt to kill Svara’s lover and accepting her mother. There was one important thing to learn if one wanted to befriend the brownish Lilium. He gave chances and trials, and judged the individuals by them. Although Svara had been an exceptional promising member, she had failed him, and he had already decided to go on. She was a full member of Dahlia in every way, but he was not in his good book. She would never be useful for what was to come. Such a shame.

She found excuses to explain her behaviour at the borders when the brown woman had been accepted, but it did not justify her defeat. And no, the secui did not understand her. This could easily be because of the simple fact that she seemed determined to let no one understand her. Or maybe she was like him, and he had been excluded from the close circle. He would not ponder on this, because it served no purpose once she was out of his ‘Wanted’ list. The male held back the shrug that automatically started to pull at his shoulders. ”That is not my problem. As long as you are here, you will serve the pack and you will do as I say.” And at these two simple rules, she had failed several times, and she would again. He did not doubt this.

The cup was placed down on the cool ground, and the thick and aromatic steam wrestled into his nostrils and caused him to retch. He paid no mind to her next words as he turned around and vomited up pieces of undigested meat. When he was done he shook his head violently, sending a ball of pain bouncing around in his skull, every place it hit turned into balls of iron hot iron, pressing against his brain. His mouth was full of bitter stomach acid, but the meat had not been down long enough for too much stomach acid to be produced. A light vapour danced up from the chunks of flesh that moments earlier had been in his stomach.

The hybrid chewed air for a few moments before he took the largest bit of the vomited meat and pulled lesser bits off it, using one of his oversized paws to pin the large piece on the ground so that he could easily rip the smaller pieces. He gulped down a few pieces before he turned back to the fire and the medicine. He shouldn’t be in a hurry, he was certain no one else would touch the meat. One of the many customs the wolves in ‘Souls had seemed to adopt was frowning upon such things. Eating unclean food was bad and disgusting, but this was just a mere way of thinking. The food was still fine, and what he had heaved up had been down there being digested in his belly anyway, so there was nothing wrong with this.

He inhaled the aroma from the drink, wondering if she had learned anything from Susquehanna at all. He lowered his muzzle to the bowl and drank a mouthful before deciding the liquid it was still uncomfortably hot.

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#9
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!! out of character.

I'm RAGE FILLED AND YOU'RE RIGHT THERE!

Everything seemed so useless with him. Hell breathing seemed like a waste of time around him. She tried to listen, tried to hold back the temper that was so hot and steamed above the surface, but she couldn't when he spoke. Rage bit at her stomach and heart making her maw rise in a threatening growl. With a large and loud obnoxious crash she knocked over the pot of boiling water not caring which way the hot liquid went, hopefully on him. Now standing she was breathing heavy her fists clutched tightly at her side.

"WHEN IS IT ANYONE'S FUCKING PROBLEM! IT's Not yours! It's not Cercelee's! AND IT"S NOT ANYONE ELSES IN THIS PACK, SO WHO'S FUCKING PROBLEM IS IT YOU GOD DAMN SON OF A BITCH!" Her anger was so hot so white she almost thought about attacking, instead she just screamed a large and vicious noise. Pushing her hand into her bangs she couldn't stop shaking with the need to do something anything. Hearing his vomitting had been a very saticfing thing. Knowing her medicene would taste fowl was just a bonus.

Taking a deep breath she growled her final words. "Screw your god damn pack, it's no ones problem here. You all are just a bunch of cowards, and you are just the fucking cream of the cake. Did you know Firefly defended me from sabeen? Went to get the revenge that I can get, but you, no you didn't give a shit. So I've got something to tell you Haku Soul. Fuck Dahlia de Mai I'd rather live in hell then here anymore." The red she wolf went to her staff and grabbed it using it as her aid. "I hope you choke on that god damn vomit, fucking one less worthless creature in the world." She snarled before heading back towards the den.




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#10
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500+


He had been right. And she would never be anything else but a spoiled little child that saw no importance in anyone else than herself. His words were something that she just had to accept. About every pack in these lands had a hierarchy where the wolves lived in harmony. Svara was not one that seemed to be able to live together with other individuals. Now when she screamed at him, he could see that too clearly. He finally let a little shrug leave his shoulders when she yelled whose problem it was. ”It’s yours, only yours.” he quietly answered, because that was the only truth there was. She had a mental problem, just like him. Only, compared to him, she could not handle it, and so she couldn’t handle anything unless she could spread her own misery over to everyone she met. This was not what he saw as a promising member.

She started to vent about Firefly being a goddess, but he did not understand what this had to do with it. Svara had had her problems long before Sabeen had arrived, so Sabeen and her blindness was not the issue. It was the reddish female alone, and she refused to give herself salvation. Her words were only a boiling pot of nonsense. He had been the one that had found her and brought her to the pack’s leading healer. He too had searched for the mental mother of the mental daughter until the sickness had come over him and forced him to stop. He had sacrificed a lot for her, but this was what he got in return. She expected them to sacrifice everything for her own revenge for something that was her own fault. Yet, she cared nothing about the pack. Her extreme selfishness actually surprised him.

As she grabbed the staff and got up, the male stood up on all four. He was not angry with her, it would be a waste of emotion. He was simply done with the girl. ”One minute you love me, next you hate me, and all I have asked of you was to follow ordinary pack rules that no one else has problems with. I want you gone from Dahlia de May before the day is over. If you come back you will be treated as a trespasser, and if it’s me you meet, I will not hesitate to kill you if you dare raise your voice at me.” She snarled and headed off towards her home. It would not be home any longer. Cercelee was the ultimate leader in the pack, but Haku knew she would not frown when she heard that her Lilium had banished the young cripple from the pack. She had never been something to keep anyway. If there was someone that was useless, it was only her.

The man turned back to the bowl and drank the rest of the sour tea before he took the bowl between his jaws and shattered it. She had not taken the rest of the deer, so after he had gulped down a few more pieces of the meat his belly had thrown out on the cool ground, he started to drag the carcass towards his cabin, glad to have some extra meat.

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#11
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!! out of character.

I'm RAGE FILLED AND YOU'RE RIGHT THERE!

Some said that words couldn't hurt us, only if we allowed them to. Who ever said that was wrong. Words could kill us, a simple two or three of the strong magic could bring even a grown man to his knees. Maybe it wasn't the words that really hurt, but the wieght they carried. It took strength to not let hurt consume or pain to over ride the anger, but all mortals subcommed at some point. Physical pain could be let go, but emotional was harder to bare, even so long after.

She heard his words and him leaving even as her body shook and she used her staff to keep from falling. Finally she was far enough away to drop down to the ground her staff falling with a light thud no one would probably hear. Gasps came from her lungs. Svara didn't know weather the pain was from her own stupidity, or that she was again alone. Her fathers words raced through her head over and over. "No pack will take you the way you are." She had only proven him right.

Was the pain because she loved haku? Loved him but could never seem to do anything right around him, and now would never get the chance. The deep need to have leroy came into her gut as she tried to breathe. Anything at this point was better then being alone, like she felt after her father had died, that it was again all her fault and she kept screwing it up and she didn't know why. "I loved you since the moment I met you." She mumbled her head in the dirt bile in her throat. Why couldn't he see that? Svara felt like it was so obvious! He had sex with every girl around him, but when he came near her he didn't do anything but get angry. It didn't matter now, because the monster hated her and would kill her the next time he saw her.

Grabbing her staff which had fallen, Svara pulled herself up and bit her lip hard to keep from crying. There were some she would miss, like Cwmfen, firefly, and even Haku, but what was done was done. At the moment she wished she wasn't blind, so she could just see something to remember. More then anything she wished she didn't have so much of her mother in her. Taking a long breath she started walking towards the border, leaving everything behind except the dagger and staff. She would get new herbs, new things. Haku had been right, it was only her problem, so maybe she should start making it her problem.




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