Writing Help

[Vexx]

I'd like to see what I can do to better my writing to one: Get it a little bulkier in length, and two: Make a little more interesting to read. So far my posts aren't very long or interesting in my opinion. So, my example is as Couper Sionn from Myth V:

"Couper had left the Tangle for a while. He needed to get away from all the drama that had been going down within the month. It was really too much to handle for him, on top of other things. He came back, refreshed to find a change in the pack lineup. There were new people, which was cool, but there was something missing. Ecstasy, an Irrigokin he had met in the past year, was nowhere to be found. The Luxkin was really looking forward to talking with her. They had met (though under embarrassing circumstances) and became friends. After that, they had found an Afterglow pebble, which he let her keep. Coup wondered now, if he should have taken the pebble home instead of her. His mind got to weird subjects sometimes. He sighed with a heavy heart, hoping fate would bring new friends."

[Cwmfen nic Graine]

One way to get your posts longer is to go into detail; if you want to take your roleplaying to the next level, your posts will want to contain a lot of characterization which allows for you to develope your character and for the readers to understand your character and to better intereact with them. This will also make your posts more interesting to read. Right now, they are very superficial; while the character with whom your character is interacting may not be able to have the insight of non-diolog discriptions, the reader can be inspired by your character. It's one way to make enemies, friends, and mates in a more realistic way.

For example, when you say, "They had met (though under embarrassing circumstances) and became friends," you could give at least two more sentences elaborating on that subject. There are many other instances in your post that give you this opportunity. "Couper had left the Tangle for a while. He needed to get away from all the drama that had been going down within the month. It was really too much to handle for him, on top of other things"; these two sentences could have their own paragraph with many more sentences of elaboration. Of course, you don't want to get too bogged down, as if you were writing the character's history, but you could describe how Coup's presence at wherever he is triggers certain thoughts and memories.

You could always elaborate on surroundings and the intimate emotions of your character. Before and after you write, "He came back, refreshed to find a change in the pack lineup. There were new people, which was cool, but there was something missing," you could describe where he was looking and how he percieved what he say (being intimidated, annoyed, relaxed, etc. by others presence or by the choice of location, etc.) And if your character has a more intimate relationship with the absent Ecstasy, you should definitely elaborate on that.

All of these things will give your writing and your character depth.

One thing that you could also work on is your register (language (diction, etc.) used especially to convey a specific type of communicative setting). There's one place in your writing where you say 'cool', which is very informal. There are other places in your writing that suggests that you want to use a more sophisticated register, so you could say, "There were new people, which was a pleasure, but there was something missing," or anything of that nature.

If you want anything more specific, please let me know, ^=^ And I hope that this was helpful...

[Vexx]

Awesome! That was totally helpful!