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300+
There was a bizarre feeling Alexey got every time she walked through the front door of her house. It was a mixture of dread and anxiety triggered by no particular stimuli. Nothing was going according to plan; life had been throwing her curve balls one after the other and quite frankly, she was sick of it. Drey’s return had alarmed her in ways she’d never thought imaginable and she purposely avoided him whenever she could. Doing so was childish, she knew. Leaving had been unintentional on his part, but it didn’t change the fact that she’d spent a little over a month brooding over his sudden disappearance. Forgiveness wasn’t something that simply happened overnight. But it would come eventually, if he chose to stick around until then.
Moving out had briefly crossed her mind; maybe a house in Wolfville would appease the emotional wounds. Conor would feel safer there too; additional distance between father and child would do no harm. Running away was much easier than facing the cards she was dealt with. The emotional surcharge brought a mist of tears to her eyes. Lexey hated being so vulnerable; she felt like a child all over again. Whenever she was faced with too big of a problem, she’d automatically resort to crying. The Caregiver couldn’t help but wonder if Conor would be better off with someone stronger than she was. It was a possibility, but she was far too selfish to let him go.
Her protégé was nowhere to be found. Alexey assumed he was off playing with Emwe or Catalyst, at least she hoped so. The Koios girl did her best not to seek him out, knowing he was smart enough not to land himself in trouble. She chose to wait for him on the front porch instead, keeping busy with the injured baby fox he’d brought home a few days prior. It was still in pretty bad shape, and Lexey couldn’t help but wonder if the creature would make it through another day. Gentle fingers combed through the cub’s fur, honey-hued eyes examining the rhythmic rising and falling of its chest. “Hang in there little buddy.”
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500+
The woman left the boarders once she was sure that the troublesome girl of Cour des Miracles had departed. Then she had turned away, intent upon finding a particular individual. The cabin in which Alexey had made her abode had been visited by the woad marked Adonis several days prior. But Alexey had not been there. She had found Conor, fearful and confused by the sudden and premature change of his body. The woman had not experienced her first change in such a way, but she had not been aware of such a thing, nor had the change occurred. She had been over a year old upon her first shifting, and she had been able to comprehend such a phenomenon more clearly and with understanding. But she did not forget the feeling of the change, so uncomfortable and different, like nothing she had ever known. And the black wolf had been alone then too, despite her presence within the lands. There was so much fear within the young male.... She was almost afraid that somehow the litter in her belly would either fear her or Onus, or that the litter in her belly would cause fear in others. She didn’t want the dark smudge on the light of her soul to taint the life within her belly.
The pregnant female walked silently through the thick summer foliage made lush by the rain, a soft whisper occasionally betraying her passage when a bolt of pain shot through her wounds. The warrior was pleased at the progress of her healing, feeling as if the process had proceeded swiftly, no doubt due to the careful care Onus had given her. Her mind paused as her thoughts crossed him, that quiet desire to see him resurfacing. She thought of him often, wondering what it was that he did without the yoke of caring for her. She hoped that she had given him enough freedom, but she hoped also that he would come.... The warrior turned her thoughts away, returning to something that the girl of Cour des Miracles had said. Who will deliver them? Such a thought had not crossed the black fae’s mind—did not wolves birth their young alone in dens? Yet, she could not use that natural form, nor did she enter her den. Perhaps it was different with the optime form. Regardless of the case, the woman’s thoughts had turned to one individual: Alexey Koios.
And she found the cabin with ease, and the woman she sought was sitting upon the porch. The fox, which she had merely scented before, she could see clearly now. But there was no sign of Conor. Slowly, the woman approached, the Raven Spear’s blade pointed to the earth in a non-threatening way—she did not want to invoke the same response within Alexey as had been invoked within Anu. And then the woman realized that she had not seen the Caretaker in a long while, and hoped that she would accept her company. The warrior could admit that she had not associated much with the packmembers, but she did her best to do what she could to fulfill her duties for them. "Alexey Koios," the alto melody called through the air, that formality held within that song. "Would you mind if I joined you?"
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300+
It was hot and humid, unbelievably so; there wasn’t even the slightest hint of a summer breeze to render her comfortable. Just an inescapable, stagnant atmosphere. Baby fox was feeling it too; a pinkish tongue escaped the confinements of his mouth, subsequently accompanied with heavy pants. Alexey could only assume his rapid breathing stemmed from the ambient temperature, and she briefly considered carrying him back inside. Her inner debate was interrupted by the Adonis’ presence; she’d started out as a hazy silhouette, only to become clearer with every step she took in the Caregiver’s direction. A smile threatened to shatter Alexey’s dull, jaded composure. But it never came.
Instead, a deep frown creased her forehead. Something wasn’t quite right; the warrior’s gait was different. Cwmfen’s movements generally radiated confidence and fluency. Nothing like her current walk. Everything came into focus; her wounds (some alarmingly deep) had materialized by the time she reached the cabin. The outer layer of dried blood covering most of her injuries indicated that her body had already initiated the healing process. Had the Acer laid eyes on the Adonis a few weeks prior, she wouldn’t have reacted as calmly. Something else caught her attention and this time, Alexey did show undiluted surprise. Golden-hued eyes widened as they found the ashen female’s abdomen. It was much thicker than the last time they’d seen each other.
Beige-colored ears flicked forward at the mention of her name, and she promptly countered with a “Cwmfen.” Her voice was hollow, her mouth agape. She shook her head and moved over when a request was voiced, gladly offering the Adonis a place to sit. Of course she didn’t mind! The Koios girl had always been fond of the third in command, although they rarely seemed to cross paths. Never would she have refused the woman’s company. “Are you alright?”
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Sorry for the wait!
500+
The woad warrior was silent even as the Caregiver broke the silence, her only response the slight movements of those double banded ears at the sound of her own name. The white orbs watched the other woman’s reaction as the golden eyes found her stomach heavy with life. And yet, the warrior did not hold anything but a quiet curiosity. She wondered at the nature of the other’s surprise. She wondered if it were the same as her own, for surely, had she had the strength, her reaction to that revelation would have been far greater than that of Alexey. Her conversation with Anu had set her thoughts upon a path that would not normally have been traveled by the warrior for her views upon life were exotic, she knew. While the warrior did not change such views, she knew that she would care for the pups and love them, as all mothers, even her own, did. She wondered at the logic of this culture, and perhaps that was why she wondered at the other’s surprise. But she could not find the justifications often. And with this, it was the same. She was a warrior. That was her purpose in life.
When the earthen female moved to allow her room, the woad marked female placed the Raven Spear against a nearby tree. Perhaps it was an unnecessary act, but the warrior tended to uphold a certain level of formality. Here, she simply displayed to the other that she trusted her enough to relinquish her weapon. At an easy pace, the woman crossed the distance between them and took the place that was allocated to her. Despite the wounds and the added weight, she found a comfortable position with relative ease, able to retain that erected posture. When the question was voiced, the white orbs found the eyes of the other. "Yes," the quiet alto replied with a faint smile. "I’m fine." The woman wondered, however, if the Caregiver referred to her physical state or whether she referred to her mental state, for she knew acutely the importance of both. However, her answer would have been the same regardless. The wounds were something with which she was familiar. The experience that she had endured had no doubt left its mark upon her, like black charcoal upon her soul. But she had already been sordid with the dust of charcoal. Despite her efforts to avoid the dark, her soul was drawn to it as iron to a magnet.
There was a brief moment in which the silence that so strangely characterized the woad marked female grew heavy, almost with uncertainty. It was as if she wished to say something and yet could not find the way in which to begin. Or perhaps it was as if she were uncertain as to whether she wished to trouble the Koios woman with her questions. Finally, the warrior decided to break the silence; perhaps it would be reasonable to ask her questions of one who may know because the pack duties may allow that one to know. "I know very little of what will come," the alto melody began with silver tones, assuming that the other would understand that it was the pregnancy with which she spoke. "and I wondered if you could help me to understand." Her words were spoken carefully and with care. She knew that Alexey did not have her own pups, but Alexey had been present at Firefly’s birthing, or so she had heard.
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Noo. I'M sorry for the wait. ;_; 500+
How different they both were; polar opposites, even. This did not at all hinder her appreciation for the warrior though. If anything, the Acer admired the woman so much more because of said dif. The Adonis had an important role to fulfill within Dahlia de Mai, if not the most important role. While Alexey had her own duties, none were as crucial and dangerous as Cwmfen’s. The white-eyed femme protected the pack as a whole, assured its safety by constantly putting her own life on the line for those she cared about. It was an admirable thing to do. And now, from the looks of it, it seemed Cwmfen would have to rearrange her priorities. Children would undoubtedly turn the warrior’s world upside down, ready or not. Fights and weapons would have to be put aside for a certain amount of time.
Cwmfen could do it. She too, was a Caregiver after all. Not necessarily the kind of caregiver Alexey was (whose role mostly revolved around babysitting children) but the Adonis indirectly cared for every single member of Dahlia de Mai. She would do the same with her children, even if it meant renouncing to her current way of life. Alexey silently mused over it all, an endless flow of thoughts bouncing around in the back of her mind as Cwmfen took the seat next to her. Honey-hued eyes lingered over the Raven Spear, leaning harmlessly against a tree. She’d never felt threatened by the warrior, ever. But it warmed her heart to see the third in command relinquish her weapon in her presence.
Her right hand came into contact with her pack mate’s back; a comforting rub was offered to soothe away the pain and anxiety. It was hard to believe that she was fine, but Alexey made no effort to challenge her word. There was a brief moment of silence. It was barely noticed by the Caregiver who’d been catapulted back in time. Firefly’s birthing experience defiled before her eyes once again; the dead cub, Svara’s unwanted presence, the Lillium’s screaming, and the fight that ensued. They should’ve known those pups would suffer from an abnormal childhood. Luckily, the Adonis was nothing like Firefly.
Part of her wanted to question the father’s identity, but she refrained from doing so. Cwmfen finally spoke up, voicing the reason why she’d stopped by. Her request was vague; the Acer momentarily found herself at a loss of words. Alexey had never given birth and she’d only witnessed it once. “You’ll know what to do when the time comes,” she offered, knowing this to be true. Even Firefly (who was by far the worst mother in all of Souls) had known what to do. “Some females prefer to give birth on their own while others choose to have their friends and family present. I can be there, if you want me to.” she added with a sincere smile, letting the Adonis decide for herself. She was an independent woman after all. Perhaps she wanted to go through the birthing process alone.
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Don’t worry about it! You actually had a reason, ^=^
And I was wondering if you wanted Alexey to be in the birthing thread?
500+
Alexey’s warm touch brought a gentle flinch from the black fae. But with a soft breath, the warrior calmed herself. For a moment, her eyes turned down to the woad-bound hand upon her stomach. Just as it had been when she had first come to these lands, physical contact from other made her react in such a way. A quiet smile came to her maw, flickering faintly in apology, for truly she did appreciate the freely given gesture.
"I have imagined myself alone," the quiet melody said at length. And she paused. Was that not the way of a wolf? Did the females not birth alone in their dens? But she could not go into her den, such was her girth. Perhaps after, she would have enough energy to change, perhaps not. She did not know what would happen, how drained she would be, how capable of caring for the lives that would be born. There were so many uncertainties. And yet, even if she could retain enough strength to do what was required, she did not necessarily know what was required; perhaps, in those moments, instinct would guide her as it always had. But she could never be sure. Would the virus that allowed her and many others to shift distort such a thing? She was still uncertain as to how the birthing process worked in the optime form, for the shape was certainly different than that of the lupus.
And Onus.... Now that she considered the matter, she knew that she wanted him to be there. Even if the litter did not belong to him, she wanted him to be there. It was something that she could not necessarily explain, for she had never truly needed another as she needed him. But Onus knew very little of the care of young. She wanted someone else to be there as well, a precaution, just in case. Just as in battle, there must always be another plan should the first should fail. And the warrior was determined that the lives within her should not fail—was it the instinct to procreate, or was it something else? "But I would like it if you were there." A soft smile was given to the golden-eyed Caregiver, offering her a silent thanks.
There was a silence that fell then as the white orbs turned to look upon the fox, and the black fae contemplated the small canine for a long moment, remembering an encounter of several days prior. "How gentle must I be with them—after they’re born?" She could have asked how to care for them, but she knew that there was no singular answer to that question. And she would raise them, and she would be careful. She did not want to hurt them or cause them trouble. Although the black female had never truly been fond of pups in general, she knew that she would care for her own. And so she did not ask that question. Instead, she was afraid that she might hurt them. How fragile they must be once they are born. "I had heard that they cannot see. Is that true?"
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Yup ! 300+
The warrior’s flinch did not go unnoticed. Alexey momentarily froze in her movements, suddenly aware that she’d unwillingly invaded the soon-to-be mother’s personal space. Her hand remained pressed lightly against the Adonis’ back, just for a few seconds, before she retracted it with care. Reassuring someone like Cwmfen wasn’t an easy task. Never had she encountered someone like her before. Lexey returned the ebony woman’s smile, although there was a tinge of worry interlaced with her pleasant expression. She felt for her pack mate; this pregnancy most obviously had not been part of her plan. The Koios girl didn’t know much about the way of the warrior, but she understood that children were bound to interfere.
Alexey murmured a soft acquiescence as Cwmfen confirmed her suspicions. Her wanting to be alone was normal. She too, would have done the same. It took a lot of courage to openly display such vulnerability in front of others. Needless to say, the Acer hadn’t quite expected the third-in-command to require anyone’s help. How wrong she was. Cwmfen spoke again, this time revealing her wishes. Alexey remained quiet, obviously baffled by her pack mate’s affirmation. Her smile did not falter; if anything, it grew wider. A nod was given, as if to confirm the invitation. She had every intention of assisting and possibly being of use as a midwife, if her presence was truly wanted.
Her gaze followed Cwmfen’s, all the way down to the baby fox resting in her lap. Conor’s pet was dozing in and out of sleep. Her attention, however, returned to the Adonis when another question reached her beige-colored ears. Alexey couldn’t help but chuckle, noticeably amused by her friend’s confusion. “You worry too much. Just don’t step on them and you’ll be fine,” she replied nonchalantly, clearly not concerned with Cwmfen’s inexperience. “That is true. It took Conor and Emwe about ten days to open their eyes. They couldn’t see very well until they reached a month of age.”
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500+
The simple nod that was given allowed the warrior a little peace of mind. Although she knew that Alexey had never been pregnant and given birth, the earthen-hued woman existed in a world that understood the care of pups. She knew that Alexey had been present when Firefly had given birth, for she had lingered out in the wintry night, unwilling to enter a place she believed to be most private. But perhaps Alexey’s one experience would be enough. And her experience would be more than that of the black wolf, for the wolf’s only experience of raising pups came from her father, and that was hardly acceptable—the black fae knew that; Graine’s aid in the raising of the young Cwmfen had been minimal, for, to keep Graine from escaping, Corvus had rendered her legs useless. And because Cwmfen knew so little of such things, she had not interacted with the pups save for a few seconds. The most recent encounter had been with Conor, but that had not seemed so improbable.
The white orbs flickered faintly with a warm mirth. "It’s dangerous to proceed without knowing what’s ahead," the soft melody explained. It was dangerous, but it was not impossible. The warrior had pushed herself into countless battles without knowing what would be ahead. And while she viewed this pregnancy in a martial perspective, she was less willing to proceed than she had in other situations. In the past, only her life had been on the line, and she had been confident that her own arts of war would carry her to victory or to a proper death. But now, there were other lives within her, and she knew that she had to be careful now. Such a thing was another reason for her solitude: it was easier to fight alone and die alone than to worry about the other warrior that fought. For the black fae, war was like hunting. When she had first come to Dahlia, she had known nothing of group or even partner hunts. Even having fought as much as she did, she had never fought alongside another since the first few battles of the other packs of Caledonia. But that was different.
But perhaps Alexey was right. Perhaps she worried too much. Cwmfen never really thought of herself as one who worried, but perhaps this unfamiliar uncertainty had brought such a thing upon her.
The answer was both surprising and expected. Newborns were so fragile—she had seen the young of deer and caribou fallen as stillborn upon the earth. And the revelation rose another question within the Adonis. "Would it be unsafe," the quiet song progressed, "to leave them alone for several hours?" The white orbs lifted in question. The primary concern, of course, was for hunting, for she did not want to have to burden the other wolves to hunt her next meal. But there was also the question of her duties as Warrior. Already the song of war had been too distant for the woad-marked fae, and she wished to hear it once more. But she would never wander far, and she would always return. But would the pups be safe? The Dahlia was the safest place in the warrior’s mind, but there were other concerns, other animals of the lower speech that would make things otherwise.
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300+
She had a point. It was indeed dangerous to proceed blindly into the unknown. Alexey could understand the reasoning behind the warrior’s spoken words. The Adonis was filled with good intentions; her children’s wellbeing had indirectly become a priority, whether she realized it or not. This was the main reason why the Caregiver did not worry. Cwmfen was taking the time to inform herself in preparation for the upcoming litter. Her dedication was made manifest through her actions. Alexey thought highly of the third in command and it was unlikely that her opinion would change anytime soon.
Her next question, however, brought forth feelings of uneasiness. Dahlia de Mai was no safe haven for young children. Perhaps she would’ve thought otherwise a few months prior but Firefly’s stunt had been proof enough that it wasn’t. Not only did they have to watch out for smaller predators, but for ill-intentioned wolves also. Although they’d gotten rid of the terrible two, namely Firefly and Svara, there was no telling what could happen. Alexey’s thoughts briefly wandered to the Lilium and how he’d mistreated his own children. She wanted to warn Cwmfen, but doing so would more than likely have dire repercussions. Not for them, seeing as they were two grown adults, but for Conor and Emwe.
“Yes.” She understood why Cwmfen would want leave the kids unattended every once in a while; hunting, scouting. In that aspect, the warrior was quite predictable. And although her determination was quite admirable, there were certain tasks she wouldn’t be able to fulfill anymore (at least not within the upcoming months.) Dahlia de Mai had two very capable hunters and it was their duty to provide food for the new family. “I wouldn’t risk it. You can always bring them to me if you have important things to do though,” she suggested, offering a different alternative.
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500+
The answer that came was one that the woman expected, and she nodded in silence, her gaze falling to her hands that rested upon the swollen belly. "No," came a quiet sigh. And she understood. There were other things than wolves as well that would pose a threat to the young that have yet to be born. And the woman knew that. She realized that it was selfish of her to consider such a thing, and the warrior didn’t like that she had allowed such a thing to taint the warrior’s control that was once so easily held. Perhaps, in the time that she would be without war, she could rebuild what the crow wolf had broken—or what she had allowed him to break. If she must spend that time in idleness, and she knew that she must, the black fae would put that time to use in whatever way that she could. And so she became resolved to properly carry out her new set of responsibilities.
"What could be more important," the quiet melody countered herself, "than the lives I must protect?" The pups, just as the members of the pack, were under her protection. And unlike the members of the pack, the pups would be completely helpless. She knew at least that much. It was simply that she was not accustom to such a thing, but for that, she must let go of her own needs so that she may provide for the need of the litter that, despite everything, belonged to her. "I am not used to being so... idle," the quiet song explained, her gaze lifting to find those golden eyes. Perhaps Alexey could understand what she meant. But for the entirety of her life, the actions of the woad warrior had never been so quieted. And those songs that moved her soul with the passions of war had fallen silent. Even that new and strange song of love had grown quiet, made uncertain by that dark smudge upon her soul and by the very lives that were now in her care.
"How does one know when one is ready to give birth?" A smile moved the corners of her lips, although the smile, while warm, held a quiet amusement. How very little she did know about this path in life. ‘Mother’ was not a title that she had ever intended to hold. But now that she would be taking up such a task, the proper preparations needed to be taken. Just as there was practice before battle, this obtaining of knowledge was the practice before her life would change. But what would be the signs? And she knew that there must be such signs, but she was unfamiliar with what they would be. How would she know that it was time to birth and not some other foreign pain that she was accustom to enduring. And yet, at the same time, she was sure that she would know. Would not instinct aid her as it had always aided her? "I don’t mean to trouble you with such things, Alexey," the warrior apologized quietly. But how unfamiliar this battlefield was.
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300+
A gentle sigh escaped her lips, exhaled breath intermingling with the hot summer air. Her eyes of honey did not steer away from the swollen abdomen at her side, the clearly defined location in which Dahlia de Mai’s second litter was sheathed. Envy tugged at her heart, unfortunately reminding the Caregiver that she would not bear pups of her own anytime soon. Dreyrugr, she now realized, would never sustain the role of father. This, however, did not affect the happiness she felt for the third in command. She would aid and support the mother-to-be, out of care and affection for both the warrior and the pack as a whole. These pups indicated bright skies ahead. Cwmfen’s brood, alongside her protégés, would assure the pack’s survival for years to come. Through them, Dahlia de Mai would live on.
“Nothing is more important than your children,” she admitted, a smile materializing on her face. It made her proud to hear a comment of the sort, especially coming from a heroine like Cwmfen. It indicated that she did understand the importance of putting her offspring above all, even if it meant renouncing to everything she’d ever known; her lifestyle as a whole. “You won’t be so idle when they start running around,” she warned, knowing full well that Conor and Emwe gave her plenty more exercise than she actually needed in one day. The Caregiver had learned to enjoy it though, hence why she felt quite lonely at times when they weren’t around to keep her busy.
Beige-colored receivers caught the sound of Cwmfen’s voice once more, her words forming an inquiry pertaining directly to childbirth. It was a question only a mother could’ve answered accurately. For someone like Alexey, a female who’d never experienced labor, it was near impossible for her to know when one was ready to give birth. “There will be pain, I think.” she suggested quietly, hoping her assumption wasn’t too far off from reality. “Not the kind of pain caused by injury. Something else.” Unfortunately, she could not relay further information. The Koios girl knew next to nothing of the pre-birthing phenomenon, making her unable to prepare Cwmfen for what would precede the pain. “You do not trouble me at all! I really appreciate your company, Cwmfen. Are you nervous?”
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500+
The woman nodded briefly, a soft smile faint upon her quiet lips. "I’m beginning to understand that now," she admitted quietly. It began as instinct, that need to protect that which was created through the physical need to procreate. And yet, such a thing had not been experienced by the warrior. While she had lain with several, such a thing was based not upon the need to procreate but upon a curiosity, a need to know more. And with Onus, it had been based upon the need to show her love of him—a true act of love. Yet, these pups belonged simply to one who had stolen something from her, replacing it with a black seed the now grew. Despite that, however, she still experienced that need to protect and produce, and, in the depths of her subconscious, the female knew that it would continue to become something more with the births of those lives. And then, as the Acer stated, she would no longer be idle. "I suppose not," the soft melody agreed, a certain amount of mirth held within those silver tones. Briefly upon very few occasions, the warrior had observed pups and their behaviors. She did not doubt that her own would behave similarly.
There came a thoughtful nod, practically imperceptible despite her stillness. It was strange, however, what the Acer revealed. It was a strange thing for the warrior to imagine a pain that did not come from injury. Indeed, she knew of spiritual suffering, but she did not think that Alexey referred to such a thing. She kept that thought in mind, however, and did not question the other further. While Alexey knew better than she the workings of such things, she knew that Alexey could know only as much as observation could allow. And observation, while useful, was not as invaluable as personal experience. Such a thought reminded the Adonis that she, who had never intended to bear life, was bearing life now before those who sought it. It was strange, once more, for the warrior, and she wondered at the gods.
A glimmer of a silver smile was given in gratitude, her gaze flickering tentatively away. Had the warrior been as skilled in the use of words as she was skilled upon the battlefield, she would have replied in like kind, expressing her fondness and trust of the Koios woman, for such a thing was rare for the black fae. Indeed, she had met many and, in a way, trusted each member of her pack. But the trust she held was faint, unwilling to go too deep. The trust that she held with Alexey was a little deeper in a way that the black fae could consider her a friend. But she trusted no other as deeply as she trusted Onus. Trust was simply not a thing that the black wolf gave lightly. And yet, she could not express to Alexey such a thing, and so she was silent. The woad bound ears lifted. "Not nervous," the soft melody countered, her gaze lifting to find the council member’s golden eyes, "but uncertain."
There was a brief silence. The woad-marked female dwelt upon the prior silence of her friend, the sudden emotion that had been darker than that which filled the air now. And Cwmfen wondered of it. Within the Caledonian-Korean’s mind, however, ‘trouble’ referred to belligerent acts, and so it was to such a thing that her mind instantly went. "Is something troubling you, Alexey?" The voice was quiet, gentle, and she would have accepted silence should the female refuse to share with her the origins of that unknown emotion.
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300+ So sorry, new job is killing all of my Souls time. ))):
In this case, uncertainty was expected. Rare were those who exhibited confidence when faced with the birth of their first litter. Alexey could only nod in acquiescence, as if to demonstrate that she did indeed understand the position in which the third in command found herself. At this point, the Acer could have taken the opportunity to comfort Cwmfen with words, but the idea of making unfounded promises unsettled her some. As much as she wanted to, there was no possible way she could predict the future and thus, informing the mother-to-be that everything would be okay was too big of a risk. One she could not take, given the high regards in which she held Cwmfen. There were too many possible complications involving childbirth for her to do such a thing. So she too, nourished the silence which settled over the two females.
It was Cwmfen who provided the next topic of conversation, much to her surprise. And now, it was her turn to find the other woman's gaze, amber orbs filled with a derivative of bewilderment. Obviously, concealing her thoughts and feelings, be it good or bad, had never been her forte. But she had not realized how apparent her sorrow was. If Cwmfen could detect it throughout a brief conversation, could her foster children do the same? The Caregiver frowned at that thought, faint wrinkles drawn upon her forehead. She certainly hoped not; the boys had enough stress on their shoulders. And it was her job, as their protector, to keep whatever pain she felt away from them. "It's nothing, really." she replied offhandedly, gaze focusing on the fox nestled in her lap, purposely avoiding the warrior's gaze. "Dreyrugr and I weren't meant to be. I just find it hard at times, being all alone."
Of course, to say such a thing was completely untrue. In every day life, Lexey was surrounded by a loving family. But such relationships, based off affection without romance, would never give her what she desired most. “I wish for what you have, Cwmfen." she admitted sheepishly, honey-hued eyes finding the Adonis' swollen abdomen.
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<3 Take all the time you need!
500+
The look of bewilderment that crossed Alexey’s face allowed the warrior to understand the grounds upon which she now crossed. Cwmfen was relieved that the troubles of the other was not the same trouble to which she herself referred. But the pain that the missing male caused within her was apparent. The white orbs drifted away from the Caregiver that looked away. "I’m sorry," the soft melody offered at length. "I did not mean to pry into matters that are not my business to know." The subtleties of emotions that had crossed over the earthen female’s features had not escaped the warrior’s scrutiny. But the warrior had trained herself to see such things, for it was these subtleties that betrayed an opponent’s next move, that allowed for victory or defeat.
Cwmfen’s ears twitched imperceptibly at the Caregiver’s words. The white orbs followed the golden gaze until they fell upon her own belly. Alexey desired children, the warrior realized. And yet, that desire did not come as a surprise. The duty of Caregiver...did it not speak for such a thing? And so the warrior could understand. Cwmfen herself had never desired children, and yet she had been given that gift and had accepted it. Her duty, her passion, was for war and battle, for the kill and for a readiness to die. A protector. But that same passion was not of the earthen hued female. Alexey was a creature that understood the ways of society and the upbringing of its future. A nurturer. But she had not yet borne life. Had Alexey carried the same ideals as herself, Cwmfen would have suggested to merely find an ideal male. But Alexey was not like her, and she knew it. She was like this society, and she believed in love, no doubt, from the moment she could speak. Cwmfen had known love for only a short while.
"Your wish will be granted when it is time," the alto melody offered. Her social ineptitude did not allow the warrior to comfort her friend as well as she would like. But she could understand. And she understood that it would come with time just as her return to the warrior’s path must also come with time. The discontentment, as Cwmfen experienced such a thing, was fleeting. And Alexey, she felt, was waiting for love. Love would come to those who believed it, and those who did not believe it. The Raven Dreamer understood now that Love was as imminent in life as were Peace and War. "You need but be patient and trust that the world will unfold as only it shall." One could not change the world nor the course of events, for all things were preordained by Fate. The lives of the world could only follow the path that had been written. A death, a life—the world would not notice a single note lost or gained. The world noticed only the symphony as a whole. And because of this the warrior could accept what had happened and what was going to happen. And because of this, the warrior’s soul could be calm. Perhaps Alexey could be alleviated her distress, but Alexey may not have believed what Cwmfen did. She knew that her views did not fit within that society. Still, the warrior offered her words and her attempt to comfort the other.
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