You will always remember

[Ember Phoenix]

Phoenix

Being a father was the greatest experience in the brunneous male’s life. He loved each and every one of his seven children, but none of them seemed to idolize him with as much intensity as his baby girl Ember. He wouldn’t have it any other way, either. He had named her after his late best friend and sister-figure, even though deep down he still blamed himself slightly for her death. But even in death his sister continued to have impact on his life; it had been her fate that had ultimately lead him to meet Iskata, the female who was now his mate and mother to his children. He hoped to honor his sister by naming one of his children after her—and he hoped that if there was an afterlife, Ember was looking down on them and smiling.

Despite his special connection with this daughter Phoenix tried not to hold favorites. It was his plan on spending equal time with each of them, just as he had done when raising Sun and Moon. This time though it would be easier to set aside some special time for each, since he had the older children and a mate to watch over the others. Today was Ember’s day, and he had a special trip planned for them, deep into the heart of Storm. This was something he’d planned to do since the day she’d been born, and though she might not appreciate the lessons now, perhaps someday she would grow to understand the wisdom he wanted to instil in her.

“We’re almost there,” he reassured his daughter, slowing down so she could keep up. He had offered to carry her, but the young girl bravely insisted on taking care of herself. Finally they came within view of the gravesite. Phoenix had helped to dig it himself, softening the earth with his free-flowing tears that sad day. By now the earth above the grave had leveled off. The only sign that this was someone’s resting place was the tree above it, with a certain special name crudely carved into the side. “Ember Phoenix, I’d like you t’meet the wolf I named you after… Ember Agaric.”

Ember

"Papaaaaaa." She'd whine. "Ah'we dere yeeeet?" And it came in momentary lapses, despite the fact that he often reassured her that they would be there soon. Soon, she was now convinced, was a frame of time that was much to long for her. Something special, be it a trip or a gift, from her father simply couldn't come fast enough for the young Phoenix child. Black form skipped and trounced after him, doing what she could to keep up, which began much easier when he finally slowed down. Happily, the young girl traveled at his side, often lifting her bright green eyes up to stare at him and give him that silly grin that she was seen with most of the time. She loved him to pieces, it was obvious just by watching the two together, though adoration would have been the better word to title the situation with.

Sure, she loved her mother and all of her siblings, but there was just something about her father that simply couldn't be matched. He was the biggest and strongest, the bravest of anyone that she knew, and young Ember aspired to be like him one day. Unlike her father, there was very little patience in the child. She could hardly stand the excitement that filtered through her at the thought of what would come when they arrived, the destination of this special trip. "Papaaaa." She began again, only to have her words filter off into a silent breath at the sight of him slowing to a stop. She knew what it meant, they'd arrived, and quickly she made her move to stand at his side, ready and almost even jumping out of her skin to know what he'd brought her to this place for.

Ears thrust to stand atop her dark little head, which was tilted to the side and listening intently to what he was explaining to her. Among other things, Ember was a good listener, especially when it came to her parents. With her head no filled with the information that he had offered her, sh stepped forward, observing the, seemingly, untouched earth and then the tree with the ancient words in it. Wide eyed, the obsidian child turned and stared back at her father, as if suddenly astounded. "Papa?! Chu' p'anted her yike a tree?" It was all that she could gather thus far, understanding that trees were often planted and, after seeing the ground and the marker, she could only come to the conclusion that her father had planted his friend.

Phoenix

Life was so simple in the eyes of a pup. Slowly it would grow more complex as new ideas and concepts and experiences were learned, but before that there was a certain innocence that Phoenix loved to see. And in none other than his own daughter did he cherish that innocence. There was a part of him that wished he could keep her just the way she was forever. But he would love her no matter her mindset and maturity. he also looked forward to watching her grow into a mature woman and live her own life, with a bond between them that would never be broken. Til then, though, the world was still magical, and he was enjoying seeing the world through a child's eyes again.

Her impatient voice only indeared her to him even more. It seemed every little thing she did, be it positive or negative, made his heart melt. It was obvious that if she ever did anything real bad (which was, admittedly, hard to imagine) Iskata would have to be the disciplinarian. He knew that he would be intruding on the magic just a little bit today when he introduced herself to the concept of death, but he saw the trade-off as worth it. Her question made him smile just a little bit, but his joy was marred by the sadness that saturated the area, even to this day. He had never stopped missing his little sister, he had just gotten used to the void she left in his heart... just as he'd described how she would grow to feel about her deceased parents the night they'd met.

"Not quite..." Phoenix whispered as he reverenly took a few steps to close the gap between himself and the foot of the grave. Laying down, he motioned the new Ember to join him. "She died, a long time ago... I wanted t'tell you th'story of her life, so you'll understand why I gave you her name an' the lessons you can learn from her."

[Ember Phoenix]

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It seemed like an odd thing, to plant someone inside the ground like a tree, so the young girl was just a bit relieved when it was revealed that such a thing hadn't happened. There had to be some other explanation though, for that she was certain, and something came to mind shortly after her father confirmed that the other Ember, the old one, had not been planted. Quiet and interested, Ember held her tongue for the sake of hearing what was to be said. She was curious about this girl, this 'old' Ember, and why she might have been so important to her father. Perhaps it was her sister, or could have been, but he'd called her friend all the times that he'd spoken of her. Surely he would tell her if she had other brothers and sisters. Following the motion of her father, Ember shuffled her paws beneath her to bring her closer to him, moving around to his side. She didn't stop there though and she instead inched her way toward his front, both facing him and the grave. Finally she lay down, small forepaws laid over the top of one of his larger paws and eyes wide and crystal clear as she stared up at him. "A'fore chu star' Papa, did'a groun' eet her?" She simply had to ask before she could let him tell the story, suddenly paranoid that the ground might open up and suck her in so that she could be with the old Ember. She wouldn't like that very much and, if that was the case, she'd be on the top of his back, away from the ground, in a moment's time.

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[Phoenix]

Her touch was welcome, and Phoenix stared longingly into the smaller carbon copies of his own eyes. They looked much better on her than him. Her black paws merged into the brown fur on his own, perfectly proving the match between father and daughter. Had he been sifted Phoenix would have scooped her up right then and there and cuddled her in his lap, as he was prone to do. He would miss that most when she was fully grown, being able to cradle her in his arms. But considering his massive size, perhaps the day when she would be too big for that would be far off. Hopefully she would never consider herself too old for a hug from her papa.

The story was such a long one, with much backstory that would need explaining. If Phoenix gave all the details, he would have to tell his whole life story; Ember had been so pivotal in his life. She had been his first true friend, and if she had lived… who knew what could have happened between them. But he had to keep it short so as not to overwhelm his daughter with the details and dilute the message he wanted to convey to her. ”No, sweetie… She died of a broken heart.”

He tore his gave away from Ember and settled them onto the earth now surrounding the original bearer of that name, though his eyes blurred when he forgot vision and retreated into his own memories. ”You remember how I once said my own mama an’ papa died when I was little? Well, not long after I came t’Storm I met Ember jus’ after she’d lost her parents too. We were both orphans—so we understood what each other was feelin’. An’ because of that, we became best friends, even like family. I used t’call her… my ‘Little Sister.’” He began to choke on the memories that dredged up, and he had to pause for a minute to gather his thoughts.

[Ember Phoenix]

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Ember, despite her young age and lack of vast knowledge, could feel the somber mood that the whole place seemed to put her father in. She could tell that it hurt him, that it made him sad, but there was also something there that made her feel like it made him happy, the memories, perhaps. The onyx colored child couldn't help her curiosity though, unaware that some might find her logic amusing, though feeling the need to ask none-the-less. He explained easily though, that the ground hadn't eaten her, and now the child was just a bit more relaxed than she had been before. It would have been simply terrible to be eaten by the dirt. So now, content with her utterly important question answered, Ember kept her attention on her father, dark ears thrust forward in a sign of obvious interest. She loved to hear his stories, be the real or made up, and it was often the best way to keep the young girl quiet. He spoke of his parents, how he'd told her about them before, and she simply nodded her head in silence, a sign that she remembered. As he explained, she couldn't help but to wonder what the other girl was like, if they were anything alike at all. Disheartened by his words, the simple tone of them, the young girl let out a soft whine and scooted forward just a bit, lifting her head to press carefully against the muzzle of her father. They were quiet words at first, unsure and sad. "Papa? Do ah make yah sad a'causea her?" She was named after the friend he lost, after all.

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[Phoenix]

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He had never really realized it, but it had been Ember’s death that gave Phoenix the final push to maturity. Even after all the tribulations of his youth, he’d still been careless, silly… overall, immature. The shock of losing the wolf he was closest to had sobered him up, driven in the lessons he should have learned when he’d lost his first family. Granted, he’d been miserable to be around for months afterward, but at least he’d come out of his with a new sense of responsibility towards those he loved—the same sense of responsibility that ultimately got him a mate and the joyous products of that union: this new Ember and her siblings. The gentle giant felt a small pressure under his muzzle, and he returned the affectionate gesture with a kiss on the back of her head. He didn’t mean to upset her with his tale; it hadn’t really occurred to him that he might. “Aw, no, sweetie,” he quickly reassured her. “Jus’ the opposite. Y’make me happy, an’ givin’ you that name makes me happier.” Well, perhaps “happier” wasn’t the right word. Phoenix saw this Ember as a second chance, both for himself and for the name. Feeling encouraged, he continued the story. “Her life wasn’t easy. She kept losin’ th’ones that she cared about… her friends, even a boy she’d fallen in love with. Then one day, she jus’… gave up. She stopped carin’, an’ didn’t come outta her den Eventually she starved herself an’ died.” It was not an easy tale to tell, especially when Phoenix still considered himself at fault for her tragic ending. “It was a sad day for Storm when we found her in her den. She forgot that there were lotsa wolves who still loved her. An’ I shoulda been there more often. If I had jus’ gone t’visit her more often, she wouldn’ta forgotten how important she was t’me an’ t’everybody else. That was the end of the story, but he wasn’t done speaking. Phoenix grew even more serious as he looked deep into his daughter’s eyes, not with harshness but with care. “Ember, I want you t’make me a promise. Promise me, that even if you ever think you lost everybody y’care about, that you won’t give up. I’ve lost everybody I loved a couple times, but I didn’t let that stop me. I kept goin’ an’ eventually I met your momma an’ we had you guys. Now I got a new family, an’ my life is full of happiness. Yours will be too if you never give up. Promise me.”

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[Ember Phoenix]

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It was a sad story, even if she didn't quite understand a few portions of it. Ember knew, though, just exactly was love was and to hear that it could break a heart was almost frightening. The young onyx child also knew just how good love felt, because she was shown it each and every moment of every single day, and even the chance of her heart breaking wouldn't stop her from wanting that love. Staring up at him, still listening, her look became more intense when he spoke of wanting her to promise something. Promises were something that she understood also, knowing that they were things to cherish and keep and that shouldn't be made if one didn't mean it. It was a hard thing to imagine, really, what it might feel like if everyone that she loved just up and disappeared or if she suddenly felt that she wasn't loved, all she could think was that it would hurt badly and just thinking about was starting to upset her. "I promise Papa." She spoke quietly, her voice suddenly shaky. For a moment or two more she lay staring at him, making sure that he knew that she would keep her promise, that she was telling the truth. After she was certain her knew, she pushed her paws against the ground and stood, smiling at him for a brief second before turning away. Her approach was slow, cautious as she neared the resting place of her father's friend, and when she reached the exact spot she stopped and sat, staring down. "T'ank chu fer takin' care'a mah Papa." Her words were quiet, serious, and full of something that even she didn't understand. Had it not been for this Ember then her life might not have been just as unique as it was, or rather not her life, but the identity and meaning behind her own name.

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[Phoenix]

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The father returned his daughter’s gaze, encouraging her with his mirror-image eyes. Perhaps it wasn’t so wise to ask something so important of his daughter at so young an age. Could she be expected to understand the meaning of such an oath? Could he validly hold her to it as she grew older? Phoenix only wanted the best for his daughter. He wanted her to live a happy life, and sometimes that could only be achieved after a long spell of misery. Such had been Phoenix’s fortune. He smiled happily when she finally made the vow and gave her another kiss on the forehead. “I hope that never happens to you,” he said in an attempt to reassure her. “Me an’ Momma never leave you if we can help it, sweetie. An’ I know neither will your brothers an’ sisters.” He didn’t promise that he would never leave her period, because truthfully he couldn’t. He knew that circumstances were beyond control by force of will and no matter how much he wanted to always be there for his daughter, there was always the chance that he could die and be ripped away from the world and the ones he held most dear. Perhaps if she ever lost her family the shock would not be so great if she never had the misconception that they were indestructible. His daughter’s next action was unexpected, but priceless in its innocence. Feeling weary yet rejuvenated at the same time, Phoenix brought himself back on all fours and sat down beside and behind the new Ember. “Y’know, I can tell a’ready…” he offered her, nuzzling her behind an ear, “You’re gonna make both me an’ Ember’s name proud.”

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[Ember Phoenix]

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The prospect of any of her family leaving her hadn't even been a thought in her head until this point, when Phoenix had told her the story about the older Ember. Now, though, she understood more than she had previously, she now knew that people could actually leave her, which wasn't a nice thought in and of itself. He promised though, at least as long as they could help it, that no one would leave her. Certainly they didn't have a clue that one of their family would soon go missing, followed by yet another, and Ember could only accept that fact with a nod and a smile, she didn't know any better. "An ah wun nefer leaf!" And that was a promise that she would use all of her power to keep. She was content to just sit there really, at least for a time, but when her father spoke his thoughts that she would make them proud she couldn't contain her glee. Her whole body seemed to wiggle as she sat there, tail flailing about behind her and beating against the ground on occasion. She knew what that meant, she'd heard it before, and she understood that it came with good feelings. Making Papa proud was a good thing. "Wha wash 'er bes'es game Papa?" She asked suddenly, a bit more interested in who this other Ember had been. What was she like? What did she look like? Who were her friends? There were so many questions that she could have asked then, so many thoughts that ravaged her mind as she sat, but she knew one at a time would be best.

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[Phoenix]

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It was reassuring to know that there were wolves who could take care of his children in the event of his and Iskata’s untimely demise. His own parents had tried to have a litter away from any pack for reasons he had never figured out, and that had been the downfall of his family. What made things better was that the ones he could trust were his own adopted children, who had now grown into responsible adults themselves. Moon and Dierdre (and Sun, if she ever returned) could raise his children similar to how he would bring them up and keep the memories of him alive. Perhaps it was morbid to consider such scenarios, but Phoenix would rather be prepared for misfortune rather than leave his children to flounder for themselves. His memories of his sister were precious to him. He wished he had spent more time with her while he had been able to, but that was the whole point, wasn’t it? Sighing, the male scanned his memories to answer his daughter. “She loved t’play in the mud after the rain,” he said finally. Unfortunately (or fortunately, if looking at it from a parent’s point of view) it was too late in the year for that kind of weather. Any mud that resulted from the melted snows would still be too cold and too stiff to play in. Sensing this Ember wanted to know more about her predecessor, he volunteered more information. “She was black like you, ‘cept she had pretty red eyes. She was also very sweet an’ kind, an’ had lotsa friends, more’n I knew about too.” He could have gone on about her virtues, but slowed down so his young daughter wouldn’t lose interest.

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[Ember Phoenix]

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Playing in the mud was something that this Ember had yet to experience and, quite honestly, she wasn't entirely sure just what mud was. Whatever the case, though, she was certain that whenever she came across much she would be sure to play in it. It most certainly had to be fun if the other Ember had liked to do it. Maybe, just maybe, it would be fun enough to share with her siblings, like a giant game of playing in the mud. That thought brought to mind another question, one that she wished to ask but kept silent for the time. Her father spoke then and she again nodded her head, smiling some at the fact that they looked almost alike. "D'she haf broffers and sissers?" Ember didn't think it was possible to be alone if one had brothers and sister. It always seemed that there was one there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for a chance to pounce or cuddle. That was the great thing about them, there was almost always someone around if she were lonely or cold or anything of that sort. The older ones were always there to help or teach, and it all seemed to work out wonderfully in the end. If the old Ember had brothers and sister then she would like to meet them. Wouldn't they be here though? It made good enoug sense to her. If Ember was here then the rest of her family had to be here.

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[Phoenix]

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His daughter’s question pained him a bit. He had anted to think of himself as Ember’s brother, but in the end all that he’d been was a faker, a pretender. He failed to protect her and make her happy, but then, so had her real brothers. Most likely her last thoughts had been of her family. Had she counted him in that group? When she was younger she had once said she did, but he hadn’t lived up to that honor, had he? Phoenix knew what young siblings were supposed to do—play with each other, keep each other warm at night, annoy each other and tell on them to their parents if they did something naughty. But adult siblings? Phoenix didn’t have a clue back then. Still, he knew the answer to that question easily. Ember had often talked about her real family with him, wishing they’d come home. They’d left a void in her life that try as he did he could not have filled. “A couple brothers, one was a’ready grown up an’ moved to another pack. She never told me what his name was though. An’ she had a littermate named Aiden… but he ran away when their parents died, then came back just ‘fore she died. But he left again right after.” He was surprised by how many memories this drudged up for him. Phoenix had expected this to be a solemn duty, yes, but long ago he’d thought he was over his guilt. Turns out he had just hidden it away, and now he was uncovering it again.

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