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OOC:
The swollen and sore paw pads bled underneath him, but scarcely did he notice as he made his way to the borders. Why had he returned here? There wasn’t an answer to that question, but as far as Leland was concerned anymore there weren’t any answers to any of life’s many questions. Such as why had he gone back home? Let Lysander run him off? No, no, it hadn’t been Lysander. The fool had never meant enough to him to control his actions. It had been Lyla. Lyla all along. Lyla always. And Rue. Asha and Catherine had paled in comparison to the mere memory of Lyla. And the shadow of Rue. And then the images of them, of their family. But the pups had looked nothing like what he had imagined. Hybrids, he had seen them before, but he had instead pictures little miniature Lylas and Rues, but no. They had just been puppies, could have been anyone’s. Could have been his. Should have been his.
Yet here he was, and when he stopped at the borders, because ever polite was Leland, he finally looked down and saw the fur around his toes stained red. It didn’t matter. He hadn’t even felt it. The whole walk he had been thinking of her, that one night. He had gotten that one night after years of loving here, and for what? Rue had left her, with the puppies and then he had too. That wasn’t him. This wasn’t him. Skinny, fur dirty and matting, paws cracked and bleeding and his eyes. His eyes were vacant. Leland didn’t think he had smiled since he left her, only three days after they had joined together. He couldn’t take it. That wasn’t him either. He had no idea who he was.
But maybe they did. This had been his home once. It couldn’t be again. He wasn’t part of them. Pixie had left. The tiny kitten had pranced after him on the journey home, watched with wide eyes as, against her advice, warnings and disapproving glares, fornicated with the love of his life, and then she had abandoned him. Then he had abandoned her. The tiny black, orange and white creature hadn’t come back, though often when asleep he awoke, thinking he heard the soft mewing of the cat. He was not longer part of the tribe, but all the same he couldn’t think of where else to go, so he sat. The scents he remembered where there. Dawali, Catherine, the others that he had never really gotten to know. Asha was not and that was just as well. He’d only let her down too. Just like Lyla. Just like everything and everyone he had touched in the past months.
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Sorry for the wait, dear :[
Word Count: 395
come dance with the west wind and touch on the mountain tops
It seemed these were the days of the return of old and familiar scents, for today the red wolf male followed another trail of promises. Only days ago had he recognized the scent of his youngest daughter, and now he stalked his tribe's lands looking for one of his dearest friends from these parts. Leland had left hem, but Dawali did not blame him for it. However, Asha would likely have wanted to say something, but as she had not long ago returned to Aiyanna's settlement Leland would have nothing to fear. A small smile was on his maw as the scent grew stronger with every third step he took. What had made him return, he wondered. As far as the Kalona remembered, Leland had had a decent reason to leave - although he couldn't remember exactly what it had been. Perhaps it had been a good reason, but trivial in the long run. Who knew! One thing was for certain: Dawali was pleased to have Leland back. After all, he did assume that the mix wanted to join their ranks once more. What else would he return for?
As he finally was able to spot his friend, his expectations (which had been building for some time now) suddenly fell, and his heart was confused. Why, this was Leland, but in the place of his good-natured and good-spirit friend sat a thin and weary male, nothing like the friend who had left this tribe some time ago. Walking closer, Dawali felt his face fall into more sombre features. The trained gaze of a medic spotted the fatigue and weariness which no doubt haunted the male - and the bloodied paws. What could possible have happened? In just seconds his face went from sombre to concerned, now, and once at his friend's side Dawali did not exactly know what to say. So at a loss was he, that he simply stood there for several long moments, before breaking the silence, finally. His voice was reserved and his tone was neutral - there was always the possibility that Leland had not wished to speak with the father of his abandoned.. not mate, but something else. Long time no see, Leland. Pausing, he glanced again at the paws of his friend - they looked like they could need not one, but several of his ointments. How've you been?
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OOC:
Dawali appeared, to Leland, like a ghost and surprise washed over Leland’s face. Bi-colored eyes stared up blankly at the male, trying to comprehend how his old friend had found him so fast, yet Leland wasn’t actually sure how long he had been sitting there. Time eluded him. Had he been in the right frame of mind it would have been only logical for Dawali to appear then. This was after all the male’s home, he was the leader, and had he scented Leland he would have been sure to come. Leland wasn’t in a normal mind frame, he was in a whole other world. He walked through perpetual loneliness and if anyone broke through that barrier, well perhaps they weren’t real. And though Leland heard the voice of the male, the words made no sense. Ran together. Were in a foreign language. Or maybe he hadn’t even really heard them. Maybe Dawali’s mouth opened and no words came out. Leland squinted up at the male, trying to make sense of this encounter.
“Dawali…” Leland spoke, his voice once loud and booming, overly excited and always joyous just seemed empty and confused. There was a long pause while Leland struggled for the next set of words, he knew them, he knew what came next…. “How are you?” He didn’t even realize he hadn’t answered the male’s own question. Suddenly, for only a moment, life came back into Leland’s eyes and his mouth opened as words struggled to break out. “How is Ash- … Catherine…?” His words trailed off as he realized he didn’t know which woman to ask after, and then the light in his eyes died again as he realized he probably didn’t care about either.
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Got back into the country just a few days ago - oh lovely internet access; I missed you! <3
Word Count: 411
come dance with the west wind and touch on the mountain tops
Dawali's training told him that his friend was ill, as soon as the male opened his mouth to speak. There was nothing of the old Leland left in the person that sat in front of the Kalona now, and sadness gripped the leader's heart. For all the difficulties he had caused when he left, Dawali still considered him a dear friend. His spirits had been lifted when he had noticed that familiar scent on the wind; he had constructed all sorts of expectations and plans. Perhaps he could help with the town hall? Maybe he wanted to stay with them again, permanently this time? But it was clear, now, that this male was someone he did not really know anymore, and the extent of this change was clear. Leland seemed downcast and beyond sorrow, and the words sounded unnatural in his mouth. Surely, Dawali would help him if he wanted it, but a small flicker of something negative whispered words of doubt in his ear. Could he help this male, this shell of his friend?
Dawali nodded slowly when his friend's voice rang, but without the vigor from the past. I'm good, Leland - but more importantly, how are you? He urged the question again, hoping to find a glimmer of a person behind that weary face. Your paws look painful, he stated with a dark voice. If there was anything he could help, it was such things. His ears perked at the not-missed change of names among the string of words Leland uttered. Asha... and Catherine? Catherine? He hadn't known they were close. His eyes grew dark, for her pregnancy.. fit with his time of leaving. And Asha had not wished to talk much about any of it. If Leland had betrayed his daughter, this situation was wholly different, but clearly this was not the time to confront anyone. Dawali shrugged the notion off; it could be dealt with later. His voice had a hint of strain, however, as he spoke. His daughters were the apples of his eyes, after all. Asha and Catherine are fine, I think. Asha went to see her sister Aiyanna not long after you went traveling, and Catherine is.. doing ok I think. He would not lie, and he would not refrain from mentioning the truth. But if Leland didn't pick up on that, it was all-ok. It would be better if he heard it from- no, nothing was certain. The litter could be anyone's.
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OOC: Could you have Dawali mention or allude to the fact that Catherine is pregnant? Dawali doesn’t have to say they are his or anything, so that Catherine can go one thinking that they are Leland’s. Also we don’t need to drag this thread out too long, perhaps a few more posts and when Dawali turns his back Leland can slip off?
Leland nodded, but did not smile, at Dawali’s affirmation that he was well. It really didn’t matter much anymore if the male was well or not. At the inquisition of Leland’s paws the bi-colored eyes turn downward and Leland studied the bloodied things, torn and shredded as he had never seen another’s and shrugged up at Dawali. Yes, they were painful but Leland hardly noticed that anymore. When in constant hunger it was hard to notice the writhing pain that shot up his limbs from his infected paw pads. When in perpetual grief it was hard to notice anything at all.
Ears perked slightly at the hesitation of Catherine’s condition, and Leland turned eyes up to Dawali. They were knowing eyes, as if to say “I am the cause of all this suffering, look at me, now I repent.” But the actual spoken words that escaped his lips were much less poetic, and much more pathetic. “Is she not well…? Ya should tell me if she’s not well.” Although, he guessed hat perhaps he was the cause of any lingering unhappiness and that he could do little to cure it. In honesty, if he could cure it he probably wouldn’t. “Ya know, I’m not proud of the way I left things…” In reality he wasn’t much proud of anything anymore.
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I suck and everything  I'm so sorry
Word Count: 394
come dance with the west wind and touch on the mountain tops
Leland shrugged at the condition of his paws, and Dawali shuddered - barely noticeably. His tutor had told him that sometimes, when one person suffers from his mind, he will ignore or run away from the realities in life, whatever they might be. Having never seen anyone in such a condition before now, the red wolf was not certain how to take the situation on. Sure, when in a fever a person could do and say silly things, but Leland did not have a fever, else he would be lying down\ and unable to get up without help. No, the Kalona had to assume that his past friend had changed, and that his struggles were of the mind. Nonetheless, his paws were a problem if he wished to walk properly ever again, and Dawali was not going to let that go. "Can give you an ointment of sorts if you want," he said, eyes glancing from the feet to Leland's face, to the feet again. Their condition, and Leland's indifference towards them, was making him uncomfortable.
Leland reacted to Catherine's name, and Dawali felt himself lurch inside. Why was he so interested in Catherine - what about Asha? Again, he had to shake the thoughts away, but his voice was even more strained as he elaborated. "She's well, but struggling with the everyday issues of a mother-to-be." He wasn't going to wrap it and put a bow-tie on it. Leland had asked, and now he knew. Dawali would know soon enough if the litter in reality was Leland's. When the husky's voice ran again, Dawali found himself replying with somewhat of a stern voice. "Good." Because there was nothing in his leaving that one could be proud about. Now, Dawali hardened, for all the fun the two had had in the past. He was irresponsible, and the Kalona wanted to know why he had returned at all. He was stirring the problems he had caused when he left, and Dawali wanted the pretense peace that was there now to linger, not rupture again. "Why are you here?" He was harsh, now, but how could he not be? There was empathy in him, and he did feel for the pitiful person that stood before him, but still Leland had to be held accountable for what he had done, and for the people he had hurt.
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OOC: Going to end this rather awkwardly… Leland threads have been taking too long!
Leland shook his head no at the offer of ointments. Treatment. He did not want it. Did not want to heal his paws. Did not want to head his mind. Did not want to heal a damn thing about himself. It wasn’t worth the time or effort of anyone else, he was past repair. Even if his body could be repaired, Leland wasn’t the same guy underneath. They could dress him in all the bandages they wanted but certain changes couldn’t be undone. Sometimes what was broken just couldn’t be fixed and that was that. Leland’s gaze slowly dulled again, as he prepared to continue with the hum-drum talk of this and that, but Dawali’s words surprised him and Leland looked up then, meeting his old friend’s gaze as a peer for the first time this meeting.
“M-mother…?” The words were barely a whisper, Leland wasn’t even sure if Dawali had heard him. In a moment the surprise left him, and the empty gaze over took his face once more. Of course Catherine had taken another, he had been unable to consummate anything with her, more in love with Asha than Catherine. Asha too had probably moved on. They didn’t matter anymore. Lyla did. Only Lyla, and the night they had spent together, and the night he had stole away from her. Leland was not proud of himself, and Dawali, all at once, was not either. The warmth and concern left him and a stern, cold creature that Leland had never witnessed appeared. And questions Leland did not have answers to arose. Dumbly he stood there, going so far as to wring his hands for lack of words, and then very swiftly, more swiftly than one could think a man in his state could move, he ran. Ran and ran. Ran like he did that night. Like the devil was on his heels. Ran until he couldn’t run any further and he was miles from Dawali and he collapsed in a heap, unable to rise, unwilling to rise.
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come dance with the west wind and touch on the mountain tops
With a heavy heart, Dawali stood and watched his friend bound and run away from him. What had happened to cause this change in his friend, he did not know, nor did he want to know, but something was missing from Leland. Something vital. And for a moment there, it had been as if he had returned, as if his friend was behind that curtain of pain after all, and for a split second peered out at him. He had thought he heard a whisper before the husky turned and ran, but what the word was he would probably never know. In his heart he knew that if Leland ever returned, he would have to deny him a rank among them, but his heart told him that Leland would not return. That Leland would never return to any form of existence that was at all alike the person the Kalona had known, and that Asha had liked, perhaps loved. That Catherine had loved, perhaps? He didn't know. In a strange way, the red wolf male felt alone, and as the all-familiar sensation of Gvihita appearing on his right shoulder he sighed heavily and turned to walk home. For all the things he had ever experienced, he had never lost a friend to an uncertain fate before. He would not tell anyone — Leland's fall would be protected from exposure. He felt as if he owed him that.
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