[html] Whee :3
It had been a long journey, a trip from the epicentre of his grief to the broken lands that surrounded it. Home had always been a nebulous term for the wolf, a word defined not by the physical places that he had slept but by the friends, lovers, relatives that had surrounded him. With Empusa gone, the one he had called home for the last year and a half as they ran their paws across a different continent, Beppe was left with a frail sense of what home really was. He was unable to find comfort in the den they had shared and had left it immediately, slinging his one remaining son into his arms and taking off to the east. At first he had not been aware of his destination, but as forest floors and wispy plains fell beneath his paws it became clear. It was the first place he had known on this continent, where he had felt safe and found friends, and most importantly it was where he had met her, the one whose blood pumped through the warm bundle cradled in his arms.
Each time he thought of her his eyes welled up with tears, their bitter heat trailing down his face. He did nothing to stop them, and indeed he wallowed in them as if his grief was a safe place to hide from the world. Otto was held tightly against his chest, and when they stopped to eat he was not allowed to wander more than a few meters away. He had been the cautious one, the one who had stayed on the shore when the others had jumped in, but still Beppe did not trust him to get lost. The male had lost everything else, and fate seemed fickle enough to steal his last baby away, as well.
Beppe did not sleep, and barely ate. Clinging to the feeble hope that Empusa would be back where they had met, he walked on. It was an unlikely rendezvous point, but his mind was not following reasonable lines of thought. He had invested so much of himself into his family, and now that they were gone it felt as if he was swept down the river and lost forever too. The wolf was little more than a shell, his only purpose to keep the pup in his arms alive and fat and to maintain himself in case the rest of his family somehow miraculously appeared. It was unlikely, perhaps even impossible, but Beppe would cling to whatever he could.
The wolf had lost track of time as he wandered, lost track of the number of times he had set his foot down, the number of times the sun had risen and fallen again. It had been ages, though, and his fur was ragged and dull from exhaustion, his mind edging on delirious. Though it was a stupid hope, a futile clutching at any little fraction of optimism he could imagine, he was counting on her being there, back in the land of Bleeding Souls, safe and dry and cradling the rest of their beloved children in her arms.
She was not. Beppe had walked through the scorched lands where they had met, towards the place that they had settled after the fire. The hope that had served as a paper thin mask dissolved and the desperation that lurked beneath showed its ugly face. Clutching Otto more tightly now, the wolf wandered towards a place he had once called home. It lacked his relatives and his friends, but it reminded him of their presence. The giant house, looking out across the Quartz Shoreline, still bore the changes the wolves had made to it.
He did not go in yet, and stayed instead upon the beach, staring out across the ocean. This ocean was his constant companion, the only one that had been there throughout his entire life. He had missed it when he was in the Rocky Mountains with Empusa, but the girl had filled the hole. It seemed that she had made the hole deeper, and now that she was gone all the water in the sea was unable to fill it.
He was still able to find some solace in the ocean and its eternal lullaby, but he hated what it reminded him of, he hated the roaring rivers that fed it. The male was torn and numb, and as the darkness started to descend for the hundredth time he sat upon the beach, knees bent in front of him and toes in the gentle waves. He stared at the sea, and then stared at his son on his lap fondly and sadly. The pup was not meant to grow up with no siblings and no mother. Beppe was not enough, but he was all the boy had.
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His little heart was most surely broke'd.
The small bright-eyed child lifted his chin to look up at his father, then put it back down again. He was glad that they had stopped for the day, but that was the only thing that made him feel even a little bit better. Where was momma and Godelieve and Geni and Vasco? He didn't know where they were any more. He had seen them go into the river, but he was afraid of the water and he hadn't gone in. He'd just barked and barked until his daddy had come and picked him up. They had gone back home to the den first, and his little tail had wagged so much when he'd seen that beautiful hole in the ground...but then they had gone away from it.
Beppe seemed really sad that the rest of the family had gone for a swim and hadn't come back yet, which made Otto sad too. He thought that they were coming back really soon, that they would just catch up to them, so he didn't understand why his daddy was so sad all the time. They would see them in just a small while! The tears made him really confused. They made him upset. Otto stared out to the ocean next, little tears starting in his own eyes. He was sad that Beppe kept crying, sad that they were alone and that they weren't back home in the den. Why hadn't they stayed there at the den?
He didn't know what was going on, really, that was what it was. Beppe hadn't explained anything to him and this place was one that he had never been in before...the type of place that was unfamiliar and scary. Otto nudged his head against Beppe's warm tummy, looking back up at him again. Now that he had started the silent crying he was finding it hard to stop and wiped his face against the fur that met his hot cheeks quickly so that his tears might not be seen by the bigger wolf. The others were going to come back. He thought that it was a given thing, that they were coming. This night brought doubt into his head for the first time. Something about the coming darkness felt suffocating and wrong.
"Papi" He whispered, his voice barely audible over the sound of the crashing swells, "Varr isss Vasssco? I ssleeeps wiv him" He repeated the same question that he had asked every night since his siblings and mother had disappeared. Otto always slept with his chin over Vasco's back--that was just how it was. These last few nights had been so hard...the days of travelling so long. He needed his brother there to help him sleep. The pup stood up for a moment and turned around in a circle, laying with his head over his father's arm. It wasn't as good as laying with Vasco.
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Beppe did not like to see the little pearls of tears that formed in his son's eyes, and he closed his own for a moment, opening them only once they had been raised to the ocean. The sun was setting behind them, casting its light across the sea, while the darkness seemed to rise from the water in the distance. It crept across the sky, towards the two empty wolves that sat upon the beach. The disruption of leaving the den had surely upset Otto, and each time the child muttered his question Beppe had to turn away for a moment, swallow hard and muster words. Perhaps it had been a bad idea to leave the lands the pups were born, but following the river downstream had not given him his children or his mate back, and the wolf didn't think he could hang around the place that he had had them last. They were down the river, lost forever, and the male had to accept that. It was a powerful creature that wouldn't stop until it reached the many lakes it drained into, miles of miles of winding water that carved at the rock as it went. A bundle of flesh and bones was nothing compared to its brutishness. Having followed that beast to Ghost Lake, Beppe had given up on ever finding the rest of his family again.
As he did every night, when his only companion asked him where his brother was, Beppe held his breath. Beppe could remember how they had curled up in the den, the pups all together as if they were a single furry creature, with their parents curled around them. It was strange to think that life could take such a sudden turn, but it did, and like the river it was carrying him on to something new. So, here he was, the newest thing he could handle. The Insieme house lay behind him, a silent sentinel, a reminder and a safe haven. That was where they would sleep this night, and perhaps Beppe would be able to get some rest, cradled by the ghosts of his past, the lullaby of the sea rocking him back and forth.
Otto was so quiet, and if this hadn't been the case before the incident his father might have been even more worried. It was clear that the pup was confused and lost, but the ebony wolf didn't have the heart to tell him where exactly his brother was. Instead, swallowing, he said softly, "You'll sleep with me again tonight, k?" As the boy rearranged his body, Beppe stroked his fur with his free hand. It was a comforting motion, as if it was serving to remind him that his son was still there, and he did it repeatedly.
After a while, as darkness started to seem permanent, the wolf stood up slowly, holding Otto to his chest. With a last glance to the sea, he walked up towards the Insieme house, where it sat proudly despite the years of salt that had worn away its paint. The quiet creaking of the front door as Beppe pushed it open was familiar, and the scents that somehow remained in the air were comforting. Feeling a tiny bit of relief after so much grief, he trudged up the stairs to his old room. It was rather chilly in there, and he placed Otto gently on the bed before moving around to close the window. The salt air seemed to have permeated everything, the bed covers, the wood, the books that sat in a shelf in the corner. Beppe sat down on the bed beside his grayer son, smiling faintly at him for a moment, his eyes watery, before laying on his side facing the boy. Pulling him closer to his chest, where everything seemed safer, the wolf sung defeatedly, "Oh hush thee, my baby, the night is behind us, and black are the waters that sparkled so green..."
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[html] ALSDJ;JJSALKJ BEPPE SINGING HIM THE SEAL LULLABY <3 We're singing that song in our choir!
He was glad that he had Beppe there with him and that he wasn't completely alone--what would it be like to be all alone, he wondered. Probably really, really scary. Were any of his siblings alone? He had seen them jump in after momma...so they were with her, probably. She found all of them and they were all together, somewhere...just like he was here with Beppe. They would come soon. Maybe they would even be there in the morning! That thought made his little tail wag even harder.
Otto looked up as he was lifted into the air. He always enjoyed the sensation of being lifted up, how his stomach felt like it was dropping a bit inside of him. It was a neat feeling! He was often lifted up because he was so short and could only travel so fast, so he got to experience the feeling a lot. Hmmm. Were his organs really dropping out of him? This concerned the boy and his tail stopped in its wagging. He leaned over so he could look around his father's arm, checking the ground behind them to make sure. No stomach or intestines. Whew.
They went into an unfamiliar house and he looked around, the growing darkness making things that would normally look like normal, friendly things look like horrible, twisted things. He gave a light whine but said nothing more after that. What was this thing that they were laying down on? It was soft, softer than the grass. But not as soft as moss, he decided. Otto snuggled in and closed his eyes, the song helping him fall into a deep sleep.
Morning came soon enough. He had almost forgotten everything that had happened and was disoriented for a moment, but got his bearings after a little bit. He was here with his daddy, and they were looking around for the rest of their family. He looked around hopefully, but no...nothing. Beppe was still asleep, and Otto watched him for a little while before getting up and stretching all of his limbs out. What were they going to go and do today, he wondered. A line of the lullaby came into his head and he began to hum it lightly, thinking the words in his head. 'Asleep in the arms of the slow
swinging seas...'
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[html] Sorry I'm slow <3
Night settled in like a ghost, bringing a chill with it as it wrapped its arms around the house, the room, the bed, until it felt as if it was holding the two wolves alone. As Beppe continued to sing he watched his son's eyes drift closed, observing as the little fidgety movements that Otto was so prone to slowed to a stop. Once the boy had drifted to the world of dreams - or nightmares, as did Beppe - the elder wolf was gripped by thoughts. There was a transition, or at least he imagined one, between the last breath one took while they were awake and the first one taken after sleep set in. He watched Otto breathe, and felt very much alone. The cold ghost of night clutched him alone, now, and despite the bit of warmth at his chest he was unable to fight it off. Sleep would come to him, as well, but he didn't know when. Waiting was always the worst part, the time between Otto's sleep and his own always feeling empty and unreal, as if he had stepped into a strange world. It was not pleasant at all.
Despite the pain of waiting the wolf made it to the morning. It was a strange night, filled with dark skies and rushing waters. Otto's humming seeped into the dreams, and as Empusa rose vertically from the waters she was singing along, the words freezing like ice around the male's heart. Asleep in the arms of the slow swinging seas, she gurgled through a mouthful of water and mist, over and over and over. Beppe felt like he was choking, like his organs were trying to all escape his body by way of his mouth at the same time. It was a tightening, painful, horrible feeling, and just as he began to choke on water as well he woke up, eyes opening suddenly. His heart was beating faster than it was supposed to, the orange light of morning was blinding. As he realized where he was, piecing things together as he did every morning, he exhaled and let his eyes wander to the puppy that was stretching himself out. The song seemed less horrible escaping from his tiny body than the waterlogged one that had risen in his dreams.
It was partially relief that put the small smile on his face, a smile that was rough around the edges but at least existent. Mostly it was the innocent humming of the boy and the little hobble he was doing around the bed, the appreciation of still having something he could hold on to. Without Otto and the tiny bit of hope of finding the rest of his family (quickly fading), the wolf would be gone as well.
After a few moments of watching the boy, Beppe said quietly, "Good morning, Toto."
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