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anuuuuuu! i has short; i hope you don't mind.
As usual, he felt more comfortable under the cover of dense clouds. It was as if Someone had chosen today to throw a blanket over him, to keep him safe and happy. That "someone" was unspecific; he had no name or image, but Kansas felt him at times, and he didn't understand why. Today, as he jogged quickly toward Rabbit Lake, he felt his presence more densely than was ordinary. It was scaring him just a little bit, and yet it felt wonderful. He was secure beneath the thick, dark clouds; protected by the chilly air. He was doing just fine.
A lot had been on his mind lately; his encounter with Naniko and her puppies was still messing with his head. He was worried about Savina. He didn't like being worried about her, a little because of the anxiety it caused him, but also because the very idea of her being unhappy and his subsequently not being able to help her was terrifying. Kansas reached the lake, but did not approach the water; instead, he reclined upon the browning grass, watching it sway beneath his paws. He lifted his nose to the crisp breeze and let it bathe him. His coat had become longer and paler in preparation for winter, and now it billowed about him like silk. Kansas tried to surrender, tried to fight off the worry in his mind. It was a daunting task.
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mine's short too!
Where was the sunshine? Anu felt the day cave in around her, the god she looked to out of sight. Blue orbs shone up at the cast across the atmosphere and she saw no sign of him. And yet she still walked beyond the Manor, beyond the orchard and garden in which she resided most days. Even with the lack of her Sun, she ventured through the trees and out into the lands that she had come to love over a year ago. Her heart was heavy, her mind tattered by the seemingly constant plague of insecurities and worriment. It all could be reflected to the day's weather; closed, cold, dark.
She sought the sight of the lake, known to give her a moment to reflect and even with the lack of Sun it was beautiful. With a thoughtful and slow gate the she-wolf made her way, thinking of the Dahlia wolfess, thinking of the grown children she called her own, thinking of Savina and their last conversation. Thoughts of the fey that held her heart could keep a frown from her face, but she lacked a smile as she saw the beast that was settled among the shore's grasses. It was not often that the two exchanged words, and yet Anu was drawn to him at first glance.
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yay!!
Kansas stretched, his toes stretching out in front of him, pulling loose the taut muscles in his body. It made him feel a few degrees better, but the lack of significance was disappointing. Savina was always on his mind, but the image of her with tears in her eyes refused to leave his mind, not matter how relaxed his physical state was. He was grateful for the gray day, because it soothed him; had the atmosphere been harsher, the boy wouldn't have been able to stand the severity of his anxiety. But, fortunately, a welcome distraction came. The gentle wind brought to him a familiar scent. He looked over his shoulder to see her, and his tail thumped the grass behind him when the bright blue eyes proved his suspicions correct. Anu.
Perhaps the entity Kansas felt at times had brought her to him, because he suddenly felt comforted by her presence. He didn't know Anu, and he wasn't going to greet her like he did. The two had never had a personal conversation, but he respected her greatly. She'd assumed the position of the parent of Naniko's children; but more than that, Savina loved her. He felt that his girl found a lot of solace in her friendship with the small, earth-toned female. He grinned a little, nodding his head once, his ears flattening against his skull slightly as a sign of his respect. "Hello, Anu," he said. He couldn't read her expression, perhaps because she was not yet close enough. But he hoped she didn't mind that he was there, that she hadn't come seeking solitude. He was aware that he was making it obvious that he desired her company.
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The woman walked towards him, and with his response to her presence she felt the number of years her life contained. Even the smallest notion of respect made her age a tangible aspect. She was oldest, no? But as she watched the pale male, heard his voice and came close enough to make out every distinct feature she did not feel it as an uneasy feeling. Her world was a twisted one, emotion and feelings turned around to contradict the nature that she loved and worshiped. Unknowing, guilt and confusion were things of the past though. She felt no fear being herself, was not ashamed that whom she loved was not some might believe as nature had intended it. Knowing that the pack accepted her without question made her life a possibility.
“Kansas.” She spoke, a smile reaching the corners of her mouth. His tone was welcoming enough that she sat once the space between them was no longer. A slight nod came with his name, and she wondered what had been separating them for so long. The truth Savina had given her filled her mind inadvertently, but she cast it aside in seconds. The past needed to die, at least aspects as dark as that.
“Are you alright?” She spoke with a soft concern. There was tension in the air, even if she hoped to ignore or forget it. It was not a strain that existed between the two, but lived within each and plagued separate souls. The slight fey’s blue eyes looked into his for a brief moment, and saw what he no doubt saw in her.
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300 +
The slender man didn't respect her because of her age, for he didn't consider Anu old at all. In fact, he saw her as remarkably serene for her age, with wisdom and calm about her that was enviable. She couldn't be older than five or six, right? She wasn't even middle-aged yet. And, at least to Kansas, she had the soothing aura of someone twice her age. His admiration of her, and the sheer fact that she lead the pack alongside the love of his life, were what made him readjust his stature and expression to show her the utmost reverence. Savina did not tell him personal things about Anu, but the pale boy could only assume the small female had been through a lot in the past year or so. They all had, really; Anu and Savina were what held Crimson Dreams in place through all of it.
It was good that Kansas wasn't aware Savina had confided the darkness of his past to the Lieutenant General. Because that would have made him feel very ashamed, and very unable to have a conversation with her without feeling the urge to cry. But luckily, this knowledge did not cloud their encounter. So her smile was understood and welcomed, and he smiled back. She had closed the space between them and sat beside him, two wolves facing the pretty lake as the breeze swayed around them. Her question was unexpected; had she noticed the tension and anxiety he felt? Kansas hesitated a moment, unsure of how to answer. "Oh, uh," he began. Then he emitted a soft, resigned sort of sigh. "I'm okay," was his response, in a most unconvincing tone. He was aware of this, and perhaps he'd subconsciously spoken this way so she would gently prod him for more. "How are you?"
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300+
What was hidden in the past, shrouded by lies, indifference and mainly silence would need to stay where they all left it. You could carry the weight of what had been for so long. It dragged even the strongest of souls down pat the top soil and through the dirt of the present. It made the future uneasily attainable, it brought fear, stress and worry about those next moment in life. Anu was no longer one to forget, to forgive without question. Her past few years had been to poisoned to leave her heart unscarred. It left her souls frayed at the edges, susceptible to bitterness. Her thanked the pleasant memories, and held to those as she struggled to throw the unhappiness away. At that moment she made the choice to remember the past between the male and Naniko, only for Savina. But she would try her best to not judge a beast she hardly knew during a time they didn’t share.
In the silence that came after she spoke Anu looked to the lake, finding the haze of the Sun reflecting lazily on its surface. Only his voice brought her eyes back to his face. His falter, and his hesitation made Anu want to believe him but could not. It was written on him, even if he tried to hide it. The sky could wear the mask of clouds, but Anu would always know and feel the presence of the Sun.
“I have been well.” she sighed ever so softly as she smiled at the male. But as innocently dishonest his words were, so were hers. It was possible for confliction to remain even if the source had grown absent.
“Its nice to come here, to simply think.” She commented lightly, face showing that she was accepting of what ever he wished to tell. It was her way, to simply listen.
"I wish I had more time, to let things slip away." To let them fall to the past and become open to the future.
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300 +
Kansas tried to forget the past, though part of him knew this was impossible. One could never erase the unpleasant memories, because even if he could go a long while without stirring them up, reminders could come out of nowhere at any time. But he tried; perhaps this made those sudden jolts of memory even harsher. He'd wanted to desperately to forget. He tried also to make the most of his life now; not give himself any reason to obtain any new bad memories or recollect the old. He wanted to do what was best for himself and his children, even if he often had to remind himself what the right thing to do was. But this was a struggle everyone had; he knew he wasn't unique.
He didn't have to look too deeply into her eyes to know for certain that she hadn't believed his words. Kansas had always been a terrible liar. Especially when he sort of wanted the lie to be discovered. What surprised him, though, was that when she spoke, he saw that she was not being truthful, either. Her words seemed to connect their evasion together, for they both had reason to be there before the lake. To gather their thoughts, to ponder the things that troubled them. Her next words were quiet and rendered him speechless with thought. More time, to let things slip away. "I wish for that too," he returned, his eyes on the gray water. "How... how is Savina?" Kansas threw her a cautious, shy glance. Now she knew, what was on his mind. And he didn't expect Anu to spill his mate's secrets to him. He just wanted to know if she was okay, and he thought the small, cobalt-eyed female's perspective would be wider and more accurate than his.
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The clouded sky smelled faintly of rain, either remnants of the earlier showers or a lighthearted threat of more to come. It spoke of their emotions, calm and yet in a dim light. Remnants of the past, the unknown of the future faint and alive in the small flicker of hope that was held in both their chests. Neither was without faith, Anu was certain that she held it and could see the same in Kansas. But each sat among soft grasses and beneath a muted sky with a weight that made them stumble in their conviction. Blue eyes caught the sight of his own sapphire gaze, his question catching her by surprise. Surprise that Anu showed only by her wandering gaze. She looked into the air, searching for the answer, an answer that she felt he would know more clearly the she could ever know.
Was she about to lie? Anu had already spoken with dishonesty, but that was to hide her own being, not this male’s mates. The moment of pure weakness that the Commander had shown had been something Anu had thought to hold against her heart and never speak of it. But, “Not well.” Anu spoke with honestly laced with every syllable. It was truth, for Anu had only seen her days ago broken and only falling to smaller pieces. It felt like yesterday, sitting beside her friend at the feet of the ocean's tide and feeling completely at the mercy of emotions no one should ever have to feel. The wolfess straitened, looking bravely into the males eyes, waiting for his reaction.
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lovely table!! slow killi is slow. 300 +
Even though the sun shone brightly somewhere behind a shroud of gently-gray clouds, Kansas sensed the darkness around them. It loomed indecisively, not certain whether it wanted to bring itself upon them or drift away from them, relieving them the threat of its imminent presence. Much like Anu, he sensed the halo of light and hope, too. It was just difficult for a man as young as him to choose which he wanted to believe would come about. Kansas lived in a thousand shades of gray, never sure which things were certain and which were definitely not. Like his mate's happiness. She had been juggled from darkness to light for as long as he'd been with her it seemed, and probably much before, too. Watching it made him hurt.
Kansas watched her, again caught in an in-between stance. Would she lie to him and tell him Savina was alright? Or would she tell the truth? He had his suspicions about the nature of his leader, but not knowing her personally, he could not predict for sure. But he had a hunch, and that came true. Her eyes never strayed from his, and it made him uncomfortable. She'd done him the honor of speaking truthfully. Now she wanted to look into his eyes. It felt wrong. He didn't feel worthy to stare at Anu like this, even though there was a bridge of understanding between the two shades of blue. Where did he venture now? He didn't like getting information about Savina from a third party. But this was much more than gossip. It was necessary. "C-can I do anything?" He couldn't keep the hint of pleading from his voice. Whether or not she would know, he had to ask her. He was at the point of grappling, greedily reaching for anything that would make his mate feel happy again. Not just fleetingly, but truly happy. And if Anu knew of nothing, he'd simply start from square one.
He didn't want to appear to the gray-scale woman to be using her only to wheedle information about Savina. But he had to pass this hurdle, and then he would move on to something else with Miss Anu.
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thanks, lovely killi is lovely!!300+ Though Anu always wanted to be truthful, it was hard to tell him that his mate was not happy. Anu wanted and wished to make her friend joyous and help her return to her normal self so badly. She couldn’t imagine how dire that need was for Savina’s mate. This was nothing that Savina had brought upon herself, and such pain was even worse then the retribution that could be delivered in conjunction to a poor decision. That was controllable. No one other then the beasts themselves could decide the fates of the wolves Savina loved. His reaction was expected, and the woman did not understand why she had wanted to know what his face would become when she told him. Blue eyes looked away, selfishness setting in as he spoke.
A piece of the Lieutenant General wanted to laugh at the question, a small hushed ounce. What were they all to do? There was nothing! Not a single thing that they could do to change the circumstances that they were simply victim to. It was a capsized dinghy that they clung to, propelled wildly by waves of a storming ocean. But, the silver tinted wolfess only shook her head softly, voicelessly announcing her defeat. Couldn’t she just revel in the pain that was felt so deeply among them all? Couldn’t she just fall to pieces for a mere second? No. With the knowledge that there was so little that was in their control Anu restlessly picked at the dieing grass that they sat among.
“Only,” She began,
“remind her that she has family that loves her. Ones that would never leave her.” The Commander was allowed a moment of weakness, allow to cry and feel defeat, and Anu would always protect her while she repaired.
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<3
Was it naive of him to ask her? Perhaps he wondered if he really was doing enough, if there was anything more he could do. Kansas was thoughtful around others, most importantly Savina, and he grasped at anything that came to mind that might bring a smile to her face. Anu's response was acceptable to him, and he grinned in a sad way, nodding as his face fell to watch the grass between his paws. He needed a moment, just to gather himself. Part of him had wanted Anu to suggest something he'd never tried before, something magical and wonderful. But no wolf could quite reach that realm, even one as respectable as the cobalt-eyed female. His logical self knew this.
After he'd ensured within his mind that he would not shed tears in front of his Lt. General, Kansas returned his gaze to her with a stiffening of his shoulders. "Thank you," In a way, he felt good about the words Anu had told him to share with Savina. It meant he wasn't missing something important. "And... Savina loves you. Thank you for being such a good friend to her." He truly was grateful, and he wanted the gray fem to know. They hadn't crossed paths much before now, but he had a feeling they each knew more about one another than could be expected of two strangers.
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:] It was simply genuine concern and honest that Anu saw in Kansas. Secretly she held a piece of his past, but that was not place on him as judgment. She had her own secrets, and every beast was allowed to one or two. Anu had not truly known him before this moment, other then the things said about him. The woman knew how wrong it was to construct and opinion based on second hand knowledge. His past with Naniko would stay buried.
Even if the advice was common knowledge he was appreciative and Anu felt better knowing that she might have been able to help. At the time she had seen Savi she was certain that she had done little to truly help the woman. His next words made her looked to him, not expecting to hear them. Anu could tell that Savina was grateful for her, and she had truly never felt anything other then loved by her Commander. But to think that Kansas would know as well made Anu smile.
Savina was the one that held them together, just as an alpha should.
“I would have been lost, long ago, without her.” She had been the one to pull Anu back from the brink when she could no longer love Nani and found that Geneva was gone from the pack. They seemed to keep each other grounded.
“I don’t have any family here.” Anu spoke, softly as if it was something that needed to be confessed.
“And she has never left me, likes others have.” like all the women she had tried to love.
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Her surprise smile pleased him. Honestly, he'd expected his words to be no cause of a startle to her. Savina very obviously valued Anu's friendship; she held the small gray fem dear to her. Perhaps Anu just didn't expect Kansas to have realized this as well. He was now glad that he had shared with her his mate's love, her appreciation for the undying support the two women had for one another. And Anu was of more comfort to him than she probably could recognize, because she helped keep Savina, as well as the entire pack, in one piece. Miss O'Sheah provided things for his mate that he simply didn't have the capacity for.
The smile Anu displayed broke some of the tension that was present in the air since before they'd encountered one another, and Kansas grinned back at her, his tail waving steadily a few times as she spoke to him. It was good to know that Savina meant as much to her as she did to Savina. Although, Kansas couldn't have expected less. Their collaboration held Crimson Dreams strongly together, so he wasn't surprised. He was silently appreciative that Anu would share such a thing with him as his mate's personal loyalty to her. He thought immediately of Naniko, how the pale girl had left Anu behind. He hadn't considered it much before now, and it sparked new anger within him toward his wayward sister. But he merely nodded, his eyes chilly, but the smile he had for his Lt. General still in place across his dark lips. "I'm sure she feels the same for you," he said softly.
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Merry Christmas So suddenly it was as if the Sun had broken through the veil of clouds that hung overhead. The gloom soon dissipated between the two wolves, showing their true personalities though the smiles that they shared. Though the Lt. General did not know Kansas well, there was something that told her that the male was not the sulking fellow that she had come across this day. All the things that Anu understood about the relationship between Kansas and Naniko were not pleasing thoughts, but it was not the cream hued male that brought her ill thoughts. Too often did the unpleasantries of the ex-Commander come crashing down on the Dreaming leaders, but Anu was slowly and willingly letting roll right along her shoulders and fall behind her.
His words were kind, and hopefully true. No, they were true of course, for Savina had never made her believe otherwise. But it was not just Savina that needed a moment to relax, or that felt the heartache radiating from the Dreaming leaders. It filtered through the ranks, and Anu was certain that Kansas felt more then just worry for his mate. Her smile was soft, and her voice held a calm curiosity.
“I think she needs to get away, maybe you two could take a holiday?” Her smile grew coy, blue eyes looking to the others face with wonderment. Perhaps Anu could be left with the pack, for a few nights. The crow-hued woman could use a few nights beyond the Manor, away from all the responsibility and distractions.
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likewise!! wrap up soon?
With their talk of the strength of the friendship Anu and Savina shared, Kansas was suddenly consciously aware that Anu may know some of the darker regions of his own history. Though he felt his chest clench as he looked upon his serene leader, he dismissed his troubled thoughts. If she was as genuine as he perceived, she would not hold his past behavior against him no matter how heinouse she believed it to be. She showed absolutely no signs of prejudice, and whether or not she knew about his former relationship with Naniko was irrelevant. He was still extremely grateful to her.
Anu's next words suprised him both because he had not expected to continue talking about Savina (though he was thrilled to do so), and because of what they suggested. Her sly smile tricked him, but he grinned innocently back. The idea of having a day or so completely alone with his raven girl was the best he'd heard in a long time. He sighed happily, icy eyes never leaving the female and now sparkling with even further amplified gratitude. "That's... a great idea. Thank you," he said in something like wonderment. "I mean, if you wouldn't... wouldn't mind having the pack to yourself for a bit." He didn't want to take advantage of... anything. He knew Anu would not mind, but asking seemed to be the courteous thing to do.
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End here?
There would be a moment where she would wish to know him more, but Anu figured that it was Savina that was on his mind and so she was happy to help calm those concerns. Too often did her own mind travel to the chocolate colored woman that had settled so deeply in her heart, and too often did her mind stay hovering over her face without her control. It hardened her heart to think of her absence, to think that she would need to attempt another retrieval of the Dahlian woman. Yet Anu smiled, glad that she could give an actual suggestion that would help Kansas in his search for Savina’s cure. She nodded at his appreciation, and with his small concern the woman only smiled and responded with a,
“Not at all.”
She promised she wouldn’t run away with the pack while Savina was on vacation, with a silent smile through blue eyes.
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