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Coco-puff! 300+
Today was frighteningly sinister; something abnormal had befallen Dahlia de Mai overnight. Alexey most definitely hadn't foreseen any of the recently occurred events. It still baffled her, how the chocolate Lilium had earned the privilege to wear the Rosea's crown. But, as selfish as it made her seem, Dahlia de Mai's leadership came second in terms of importance. Conor was her main preoccupation. He'd moved out of the house without warning. She'd anticipated such a thing, and yet, it did not make it any easier to handle. The Acer lingered behind after the meeting was adjourned, waiting for her fellow Dahlians to regain their homes. A glance was spared to the new Rosen, eyes of honey narrowed into burning slits of uncertainty. Recollections would occasionally overwhelm her conscience, catapulting the Koios femme into a sea of fear and anxiety. She knew what dangerous being lingered behind those crystal blue orbs; a madman was now at the head of their beloved pack.
Conor's departure was her cue to get moving again. It was her turn to leave the desolated town square behind, and she promptly did so, not sparing a single glance for the new Alpha. It was pouring a little harder now, raindrops stinging her warm-hued orbs as she broke into a trot in order to keep up with the Soul boy. "Conor!" she half-barked, seemingly out of breath. Her breathlessness had nothing to do with exhaustion, though. A thick veil of uneasiness had settled over her, an indirect result from the last few days she'd spent alone. She couldn't stand the idea of him not being within close proximity. "You left me," she stammered on, suddenly halting in her steps. Her tone of voice was neither angry nor accusing. Au contraire, it was interlaced with horribly concealed desperation. He needed to hear this, even if it made things more complicated than they already were. So she waited for him to turn around and face her, wanting nothing more than to mend their bruised relationship.
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500+
It was all over and the young male would not be surprised if he lifted his gaze from the withering grass to see fire blazing in the sky. Hell was breaking loose and the boy could feel the bitter taste of bile on the back of his throat. He felt utterly miserable now – as if he hadn’t felt bad enough already. The world was coming to an end and no one had stepped forth to rip the demon into pieces. His fear of his father rampaged around inside the young Soul’s head. Haku’s words had seemed sincere and made sense, but Conor’s opinion of his father would always be shadowed by the forever vivid memories of abuse and tears. Conor had been among the first to leave, silently accepting the former Rosea’s choice to resign, but so very far from happy. How could Cercelee do such a thing? Did she know what she possibly had done? It was possible that Haku Soul made a good Lilium, but Conor had his doubts about his sire leading the show.
He pressed onwards and would have broken into a run if not for the celestial voice calling him back to reality. Why was she following him? Teeth grinded together in silent despair, for she ripped him up mercilessly from the inside. The falling rain felt good, and a sign that the sky had yet to break into flames. His new home was not a home. Cold rooms, crowded with her absence. How could he have done this to them? His lack of impulse control had ruined everything and he was left bleeding on the floor like when he had been a child. He had ruined their happiness because of his unreasonable greed. He wanted to dart off and away from her; away from everything. He wished he had the strength to leave her.
The cinnamon and gold male slowed down and allowed the latte coated female with the golden suns in her eyes to catch up with him. Ears folded backward with quiet anticipation. Already he ached in so many additional ways, and that was merely because of her presence. Her words hurt too – made him a villain when all he had ever wanted was to be the hero. ”It’s better this way,” the Charme pressed out between tense lips. They both knew that nothing could ever be the same again. Why she had not started to claw his face apart was beyond him, really. It was his fault for believing in the emotion; an emotion so strong that it was impossible for her not to feel the same. Yet, she did not. His foolish beliefs had pushed the one person he had been able to count on away. He was all alone in the world.
He could not turn his face to look at her. His body rejected the possibility of more incoming misery at the moment. All he wanted to was to drown in her eyes and know that he was loved. She had loved him, even if it had only been a mother’s love. He should have been content. He’d trade anything for this miserable emptiness he was trapped in, but knew it was impossible to mend what could not be fixed.
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300+
No matter how hard she'd tried, Alexey simply could not make sense of her thoughts. And her indecisiveness was pulling them apart, tugging at the invisible elastic banding them together, stretching it until it could go no further. They had reached a breaking point. What they had was long gone, she knew that much. But it did not discourage her from trying to create a better, stronger relationship. One much different from the one they'd shared over the last year. This time, she would treat him as an equal, a mature young adult, as opposed to the helpless child he'd once been. Making this transition would take a lot of work on her part, but she was willing to put in proper effort if it meant salvaging the bond they shared. She wanted the pain to go away. What was the solution? Investigating the source of her feelings would only bring forth a new kind of pain. The Koios femme had spent quite some time weighing the pros and cons. In the end, it all narrowed down to two things; her reputation versus the unexplainable excitement she felt in his presence.
Her breath caught when the boy slowed his pace a little, her stomach involuntarily tightening with concern. At least he was acknowledging her existence, and Alexey took advantage of this opportunity to fuel what little confidence she had left. Needless to say, said relief did not last very long. His vocal chords activated, making way for a crushing statement. "W-what?" she choked out, the words barely escaping her throat. The Caregiver's face dropped, her forehead wrinkling into a frown of unusual severity. Did he really think they were better off this way? "You don't really mean that, do you?" she continued, mostly trying to convince herself that he was indeed lying. Her paws pressed forward, circling him out of impulse, until she found his lavender orbs. Evidently, the boy was avoiding all eye contact, but Lexey did not care. She would make him look at her. "Please come home. I need you." Begging was unlike her, but she didn't know what else to do at this point.
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500+
He did not understand her behaviour. She of all people should understand that he was actually trying to make things easier for her by creating some distance. He was just too aware of how well he had ruined everything they had once had. He would not be able to bear witness to the ruins of the comfortable life they once had lived. He had destroyed it and was taking responsibility for this. He understood that she was upset – they both were, but her behaviour right now troubled him. How could she fail to understand his words? Of course things would be better this way. He had lived with her for far too long anyway, and it was surely just a matter of time before she would have started to hint about moving out of the nest, right? Lavender orbs slowly rose to investigate her face. Was she trying to fool around with him? It was not in her nature to be cruel like that.
Her words harmed his soul and opened up wounds that desperately needed to heal. He wished he could have the strength to turn away and leave her. His ears fell back against his skull, hinting about the misery that was dancing through him with renewed strength. He did not answer her question. Of course he did not mean it. At the same time there was no reason to drift further into dreamland and imagine that anything actually could be fixed. She couldn’t and wouldn’t give him what his heart so desperately cried out for, and daily interaction with the female would never extinguish the fire that already burned so terrifyingly bright. He suppressed a wretched whine when she suddenly begged. Did she understand how much she damaged his mind with such words? It was obvious that she was attempting to rip his heart completely open.
There was nothing he wanted more than to come home. Home was where Alexey Koios was, but he could not return. It was too late and why couldn’t she make the pain easier to bear by accepting that? ”I think we both know that it would be best if I did not return, Alexey.” he said silently, fighting back the pain that wanted to rip into his voice and reveal his absolute misery by saying such a sentence. Though, at the same time he ached for her to keep fighting. Hope was a foolish thing, but he wanted her to need him. These feelings he did not understand. If he let it, his broken heart would crush him with ease, but at the same time he could not fully let go of her despite the knowledge that there would never be a second kiss. He did not want to continue flying on empty wings. He needed her as badly as he had as a child. He was not certain if he could survive without her. His eyes stung slightly, but big boys didn't cry. "I'm sorry for ruining everything.. I didn't mean to." he confessed, face turning away from her as his face filled up with pain.
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300+
It felt like their relationship was headed straight for the abattoir; she couldn't, and wouldn't allow it to falter. Of all the heartbreaks, this was by far the worst. Her lonesome errands were never without purpose; Conor Soul was never far in the back of her mind. Unconsciously, by stealing a kiss from her, the lavender-eyed boy had opened the gates to stronger, unfathomable feelings. Staying away from him was futile now, Alexey was destined to take a bite from the forbidden fruit. She could relate to the adolescent's pain and confusion, but could he comprehend the fear nestled deep within her soul? He was a blessing in disguise; the Rosen's son made her feel alive, but how long would paradise last? How long did she have until public prejudice caught up to her? Life was too short to be afraid, this she understood.
His words stung more than any punishment ever could. It was clear by now, although it probably wasn't his intention to make her choose between him and her sanity, a decision had to be made. "I don't know anything anymore," she explained through clenched jaws, adding a wave of vexation to the emotional parade defiling in her head. His intentions were made clear as he spoke of not returning, and Alexey feared she could not handle this kind of heartache. She'd always been so certain of Conor's affection. His announcement indicated that he was either lying, or that she'd somehow misjudged him. It felt like a knife had lodged itself in her heart. Her silence and inner debate were interrupted by his voice, broken and disoriented, as he apologized for making her feel pure, undiluted love. "No," she murmured, shaking her head dramatically. Her golden orbs sought the lilac of his eyes, but was unsuccessful in doing so. His face was turned away, again.
"I won't take no for an answer," Her hand reached out and cupped his right cheek, twisting his face towards her. The Acer's touch was gentle yet firm. He basically had no choice but to oblige. There was something vaguely thrilling about standing this close to him, and Lexey would do whatever it took to make him understand. On the tip of her toes, she pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth; a furtive peck, come and gone so fast, he might as well have been dreaming. "I need you," she repeated, enunciating every syllable.
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300+
He wanted her to quietly agree and disappear for now. His insides were already sick because of the news of his father’s takeover. Alexey had the ability to rip his world apart with a few, well designed words. He was never more vulnerable than when he was with her, and she seemed to needy now – sending mixed signals that wanted to light that tormenting hope again. If she could just give him some time then perhaps he could work his way through the impossible feelings he held for her so that they could at least save some remaining pieces of whatever they had had, but she seemed reluctant to give him the space he needed to mend his broken heart. She said she did not know anything anymore, mirroring his own silent words. He was restless and strived to find proper meaning in life anymore. Life was of course filled with meaning, but he could not stand the empty void left in his heart where she rightfully should be.
She shook her head and disagreed with his words and he was about to step away now, for she was tearing him up completely. She had been the one to break out and run away. He was doing it to save them – why couldn’t she see this! He could accept her rejection if she could just have patience with him. Conor had never wished for any of this; love just happened! Her voice sounded again and slowed down his movement enough for his face to get caught by her gentle hand, cupping his cheek like she used to before things turned complicated. His mind could only hollowly repeat the same question over and over; why was she doing this to? Lilac eyes widened in sincere panic as the Dahlian woman moved in and pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth. His hackles rose furiously with shock and disbelief. What was she doing! He felt the turmoil stab his insides – it hurt so much.
Her words were as good as unnoticed as he threw his arms around her and pushed her tightly against him. He dug his muzzle into her silky hair and inhaled the best scent he knew; hers. He was upset, needed her at least as badly as she needed him. The young male was confused beyond anything by her contradicting actions, but again he was tossed out into something strange and unknown that he could not control. It took every bit of his mental strength not to force yet another kiss on her.
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300+
She had tried to control herself time and time again. It was impossible. Alexey couldn’t deny him his wishes, for she desired his love just as much as he desired hers. She simply hadn’t known until now; her feelings had been eclipsed by deep-rooted insecurities. Insecurities that stemmed from past events in relation to former lovers, all of whom had abandoned her without hesitation. They had destroyed her self-esteem, more than once. Tempting ill fate wasn’t exactly the wisest thing to do, if one considered past experiences gone wrong and the nature of her relationship with the Rosen’s son. It was inappropriate for her to be feeling such things for her adoptive son, of all people! She needed time to make sense of the mess in her head. If only he could understand that, then things would be different; better for them both.
No resistance was exerted when the younger male pulled her body to his. She allowed herself to give in ever so slightly, pressing her forehead against his chest. His touch triggered subtle responses from her body; the quickening of her heart, involuntary flicks of her tail when his muzzle dug into her cinnamon locks. There she remained, unmoving, appreciating the aura of security radiating from the boy. It felt nice to be cared for, and she wanted nothing more than to remain like this for a little longer. They found bliss in silence; mutely exchanging secrets they could not express verbally. Not yet.
It was she who broke their connection first, wanting to channel her thoughts into something a little more concrete. Creating a liaison between thoughts and words was no easy task, but she would try nonetheless. They couldn’t go on like this anymore. “You’re my everything, Conor,” she sighed, pulling her head back to gaze into his lavender orbs. “I just need some time to think things through.” An affectionate nudge of her nose was provided; it demanded love and understanding. Would he grant her as much? "But that doesn't mean you can just up and leave me. Just... come home, please." Oh well, so much for making sense.
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SSWM596
If she just could have had an idea of the fragile heart she was unknowingly holding in her light cream coated hands. He wanted it to find a home there, but Alexey did not wish the keep it. Perhaps she wanted her freedom, perhaps she wanted someone else. Perhaps it was simply and undeniably wrong and she could see sense while he could not. Love gave wings, it was said, but love also made you blind. He knew very well that he was stumbling pathetically around in darkness, but there was no fear in his system, only an aching, burning sensation of the warmth he felt for the lovely woman in front of him. Age and status could not matter even if he tried to make it. Nothing could ever matter because she was the most beautiful and kindest creature on this earth. The boy knew this for certainty. How could he not wish for her? Then again, why could he not have settled with the limited love they had shared in the past? Certainly he was nowhere good enough for her and should do with the crumbles he had lived on until now. Why had he been so foolish and ruined it all? Why?
As his pain echoed mercilessly through his hollow insides the woman spoke, but her words only served to intensify the burning ache. For a moment he was close to hating her, but that disgusting emotion fled quickly. Love and hate were not opposites; they were part of that same thing. Indifference was worse and he could not ever find indifference for Alexey Koios of Dahlia de Mai. No, whatever strings tied them together were vibrating with strong, true emotions. Oh, how he wanted to be her everything, but her words were deceiving at the same time. Had he known the emotions burning within the woman he would have understood and felt security and bliss with a strength currently unknown to him. Unfortunately he was merely a young soul without the ability to look into another creature’s heart. He only felt the pain of rejection and the added pain when she seemed to tell him that she somehow loved him after all. His mind wanted to seek the sensible explanations, but despite his efforts to calm it down it wanted to believe that this meant that there still was hope for them. He needed to extinguish that hope.
He wanted to leave her behind and create burning distance between them. Eventually the fire would fade and make it liveable for them to look into each others’ eyes without the boy dying from the heat of his passion. He did not want to go home, yet he felt his face dip up and down with slight desperation. Yes, of course he would come home with her. How could he agree to such a thing when he knew that the pain would continue to eat away at him – never to reside in strength? He would have to find a solution to all of this, but now he could only revel at the well-known softness and scent of her beautiful winter coat. Haku Soul and his new reign were far from his mind because Alexey was the only person worth thinking off. In the later evenings a fear would start to inhabit his chest, an undeniable desire to protect the woman from whatever harm possible. Haku was a madman and no one knew this better than the son that had suffered by his hands. Haku would never be allowed to touch Alexey. Never.
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300+ Du stinker! NYAHAH.
This wasn’t the Conor she’d known all this time; she had to remind herself of this. The Acer had not expected him to comply without an argument, for he was not without a brain. After all, wouldn’t she have reacted just the same? The sandy-hued fey planned on providing him with a solid explanation, as soon as her jumbled thoughts became clearer. Doing so now, in the current state she was in, would only result in further confusion. The result of her involvement with a younger male was beginning to sink in; Alexey would become a walking scandal, with no hope of a normal future. And she was fine with that, because he would support her through the hardships to come. Some would identify her as a cradle-robber. This outcome was none too flattering, but it was better than losing the boy she so recklessly had fallen in love with. Emotions were a treacherous thing; she’d unfortunately found out the hard way. His compliancy gave her hope, indicating that the Rosen’s son was willing to give her a second chance. He loved her, completely and unconditionally. And she loved him back, just as deeply.
He acquiesced with a docile nod, and a smile lit up her face, eyes the color of quartz brimming with an appreciation and gratitude that even he, the boy who’d captured her heart, had never been graced with before. It was the gaze of a woman who’d been granted redemption for the first time in her life. “Thank you,” she murmured, enticed by the sweet rapture of this cloudy afternoon, a moment she would never forget. It ended abruptly though, when her receivers captured noise not too far north. Her body stiffened, but she lingered against the warmth of his chest for several seconds, savouring the righteousness of their connection. When she finally pulled away, her hand found his arm lying at his side and she gave it a gentle tug, steering him away from the town square. “Let’s get moving, before we run into him. Are you okay?”Her concerned gaze sought his lavender orbs, hoping for a glimpse into his mind.
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SSWM 385
They seemed to be on the same wavelength again, thankfully. Of course, this would not lessen the pain within him, but it was alright because he knew for sure now that she would not abandon him despite his foolish feelings for her. She thanked him with the softest voice brushing the soft fur by his ear and the young male melted. This was not some brief and impossible puppy love that he had fallen into. He was not yet one year of age and was too young to feel such passion, but he knew very well what this was. It was no illusion; no fleeing sensation that would die as something else caught his focus. This was the real thing; he knew this with absolute certainty. Her body was somewhat stiff against his, but he let the sadness because of this remain unseen. At least she wanted him to stay with her. He would because he was not sure if he could deny her anything if she just pleaded enough. She pulled away and tugged away on his arm. His smile was dancing on his lips, but it faded as her words brought another serious topic into life. The changes were fresh, but his mind had been elsewhere for a while now.
No, they would not want to run into the new Rosen of Dahlia de Mai. He did not strive to hide his worry as the woman looked into his eyes with similar trouble apparent in her honey orbs. He started to walk towards the cabin that again would serve as his home. He had not even unpacked the things he had gathered and left with when he had left the building behind and would retrieve the few items later. Not now, for he had only taken a few of his favourite books. He had no immediate needs for them. ”No, I am not okay.” he announced with a quiet, troubled voice. ”How could Cercelee let this happen?” It was not Conor’s intention to put any blame on the former leader of Dahlia, but her absence at the pack meeting had caused troubling questions to rise within the male. He had kept silent at the meeting, had known that freedom was now to be a banned word in Dahlia from this day on.
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End soon, ja? Plenty more coming up :] 300+
The world went away. Nothing remained and nothing mattered but the adoration she felt for the boy – Everything about him; his thoughts and opinions were all invaluable to her. He was the jewel of her existence, the good amongst the bad, and the angel on her shoulder. For him to feel such a high level of distress was expected, but he handled it with stunning maturity. She, on the other hand, struggled to remain level-headed, up and above the withering hopes deep within her heart. If someone like Conor, barely a year of age, could handle the situation with impeccable composure, then she would do her best to reward him with a similar response. But it was incredibly hard, knowing that her efforts would all be in vain; she could not save Dahlia de Mai from the Rosen’s malice. She had luckily managed to do so with his two sons, but only because he had granted her the permission to raise them. This would not happen again. This time, Haku Soul had plans for the entirety of the pack. Did Conor realize this?
Wholesome horror lit her eyes afire, concern multiplying with the apprehension of it all. He was a grown man now; a smart one, capable of unconditional love amongst many other things; killing being one of those things. Somewhere behind those lavender orbs, genetic immorality lay hidden, waiting to be awakened by rage and fury. Conor was a pawn to his father, and the cinnamon femme was beginning to fear for his life. “I don’t know what her reasons are but we’ll find out soon enough,” she replied flatly, hoping to veil her frustration with their former Rosea’s absence. The boy’s inquiry had summarized her thoughts perfectly; how could she have done this? “Whatever happens, don’t let him break you,” Alexey did not have the privilege of being with Conor every moment of every day, and the thought of him getting hurt was almost too much for her to stomach.
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aaand done!
There existed relief within his orbs as her fears too found nutrition in this thought. He was not the only one with troubling thoughts about the recent change of leadership. Conor knew not what Haku was planning for Dahlia, but he knew that this was not right. Cercelee’s absence did not help any either, as she had always been the one that seemed to have some sort of power over the unreasonable beast. The woman’s flat answer did not help any, but there was no way for them to find hope in this miserable situation. They had a new leader and for now they would just have to endure. Conor wished there was some way to prevent Haku from rising to power, but there were no one strong enough to stand up to him. He wished he could have prevented this somehow. Her second line of words puzzled him though, but he placed a weak smile on his lips and shook his head with determination. "Never.” He would endure if she would do the same.
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