f*** the surgeon general's warning

Lolita Monroe · 01-25-2010, 06:58 PM

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For Kansy! Backdated to January 18th? 715 words.

#####She had returned to the house in the city, the one with the red walls, the red floors, the red furniture, and the crusty, dried blood of her uncle still pressed into the carpet. There was no fondness for the human furnishings and the decorations on the walls, but the creamy Dahlian was not interested in spending the time removing them all just yet. If she had company, someone to help her pass the time, Lolita thought she could finish quickly and efficiently. As it stood, however, she had no one of the sort, so instead she sat on the tiny front porch—it was really more of a stoop, even—with her bag by her side. She did not know what she was going to do with the house, since she was keen on staying in Dahlia (despite knowing very few and not liking the idea of war with her friends, she did like it there), but she had claimed this house as hers the day that she had attacked Vigilante there. A few days ago, she had even come and vaguely marked it with her scent. This was her house now, and she’d be damned if anyone could try and take it from her. Lolita had earned the rights to it by shedding blood within its walls, crimson and very confined.

#####Reaching into her bag, Lolita pulled out a small glass jar, lifting it to eye level so that she could study its contents, already broken up bud. Some days, she just felt the need to do something tedious, so she frequently filled the jar from her own supplies. It came in handy on days like this, when she wanted to smoke but simply had no desire to do something that required effort. As sad as it was, breaking bud did actually require a little bit of effort, and today was just one of those days that she had no desire to put forth said effort. Most days she was not bothered by the idea, but sitting on the concrete stoop, she decided she just did not want to do it. There were better things she could do with her time—not that she was doing them, of course. Just because there were things she could do did not mean that there were things she would do. It was only an excuse not to bother doing something else, and she was content to simply sit and stew for a while. Soon, she would want to do something of use, perhaps even begin cleaning out the house. Just because it was hers did not mean that she had to leave all of the awful human things in there. Although, maybe she would leave the bed—it was awfully comfortable, even to her, someone who was dead and used to sleeping under or in trees.

#####Fishing around in her bag some more, Lolita triumphantly pulled out her bowl, an intricate swirling design of blue, teal, and the purple caused by the resin. She had others, but she did like this one the most, the chamber larger than others she had seen to allow for more smoke to fill, a better hit. She knew that some smokers named their pieces, and as she packed the bowl neatly, she pondered what might be a good name for this one, if she happened to decide to do something so silly. Nothing came to mind immediately, so she shrugged away the idea, deeming in unimportant and not worth her time and effort, another sign of today’s laziness. She was not even feeling up to naming something, and that took less effort than most other things. Oh, well. Another trip into her satchel produced a lighter, and she lifted the bowl to her lips, deftly lighting and swirling the flame, filling the chamber until she thought her lungs might burst if she took it all in. Ever the champ, though, she released the toke and pulled it in, holding her breath for several minutes. Finally, she released the smoke slowly, the cloud surrounding her delicate face and remaining for even longer than she could exhale. “Whoa,” she muttered, closing her puffy, dry eyes. While the smoke cloud still lingered, she lifted the bowl to her lips again for another hit.

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Kansas Sadira · 01-31-2010, 07:31 PM

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whoo! thanks for starting! <3 500+

Kansas did not know what to think about the war that had so suddenly come upon the canines of the area. One could imagine him feeling safe enough, for his mate and children were all safely a part of Crimson Dreams. But he had no experience with "war", if that was the word for it. There was no way of knowing where its poison might seep; the fighting could very easily breech the atmosphere of his safe little world. He knew how quickly catastrophe could spiral out of control, be it caused by a wildfire of a battle among wolves and coyotes. And then there was the small matter of his siblings, his cousins, his nieces and nephews; he was fairly sure he had relatives of some kind in every pack. He could lose someone and not know it for a long while as the death was swept into the category of casualties of war. Firefly was linked to Haku, a disturbing matter all its own; he could lose her in the blink of an eye.

The Sadira boy had been coasting along in a space of contentment. He supposed that, with the usual ebb and flow of life, it was time for his nerves to rupture again. It was only the way of things; he just wish it weren't. He'd set out that morning with his mind reeling, thinking perhaps looking for more books in the Library would take his mind off things for a short while. Honestly, he regretted not getting some pot from Cotl, because that definitely would've eased his anxiety. But at the time, he'd had absolutely nothing to trade for it. Weed and a library full of books sounded like a wonderful combination at the moment. Alas. Books alone would have to do.

He reached Halifax in good time; Kansas walked at an insanely fast pace, because he was always eager to get to where he was going. He didn't have the mindset for meandering, especially not now. In the midst of exploring his paranoia around the state of things, he took a wrong turn that took him down an unfamiliar street. He realized this after several yards, and turned to look over his shoulder in dismay. He had no clue where he was. Kansas sighed and hung his head, deciding that perhaps if he continued down this street and turned at the end of it he would be back on the main road. He dug in around in his bag until he reached the pack of cigarettes he'd found on his last trip here. He didn't exactly like smoking, but he found that a cigarette was actually nice in these times of confusion. Lighting it and taking a long drag, he lifted his pale eyes and saw something strange and wonderful. A girl was sitting on the minute porch of a house. That unmistakable odor wafted toward him, faint until he was nearer to the porch. The tall werewolf flicked his cigarette and chewed his lip before hesitantly greeting the redheaded woman. "Uh. H-hey there."

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Lolita Monroe · 02-01-2010, 11:49 PM

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No problem. =D 500+ words.

###There had been a lot going through her head up until the point that she had taken her first hit of the moment, and as she exhaled again, she was glad to feel the familiar haziness cloud her thoughts. There was too much negativity in her life, and she did not really wish to dwell on it much more for the moment. The creamy Dahlian did not really know how she was going to fight away the bitter loneliness that clung to her every day, but for now, she was content. The smoke was beginning to hit her, its affects bringing out the familiar feelings of comfort within her. It was more a vice than anything else, she guessed. Smoking was her way of keeping her body moving on the Earth, and it was her way of finding sollace in something. It was never very good to depend on anything, but she simply could not help it. She needed marijuana, and that was all that there was to it. Lolita needed quite a few more things in her life, but for now, this would suffice. It was her only option.

###A slightly familiar scent hit her - no, two scents, coming from the same individual. Lolita opened her eyes to see the man in front of her, recognizing the cigarette in his hand to be similar to what Rurik had made her try. It took her another moment to place the second scent, but then she recognized that he smelled very much like Cambria. It had been about a month since she had seen the girl, but the young Dreamer's scent was imprinted in her brain. She did not know of the relation between the man before her and the girl she had deflowered, but it likely would not matter much. Lolita was not one to kiss and tell, per se. Her time with Cambria would be kept silent by her, and no one would know unless Cambria told them. In that case, though, she did not care if they knew. Chances were that she would not know them, anyway. Those that she was with were allowed to share their experiences, and she did not care what anyone said or thought about her.

###Lowering the bowl and lighter to rest in her lap, Lolita offered the man a dazed smile, the smoke still clinging to the air around her head. That was a frequent occurrance, considering she liked to push her body to its complete limits, and one way of doing this was taking in as much smoke as she possibly could. "Hey yourself," she drawled, using the hand that was holding the lighter to move her body over, giving him room to sit beside her as an invitation. Company was not going to be turned down, most certainly not. It was something she had needed for a while now. "Lolita Monroe," she offered, choosing not to clarify that it was her name. It had to be obvious to anyone who happened to have a functioning brain.

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Kansas Sadira · 02-13-2010, 01:48 AM

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300+

The woman had a faintly familiar scent to him as well, though he didn't realize where it came from: he'd smelled her aroma on Cambria. But his mind was too crazed with everyday matters, as well as the anxiety that often plagued him; so he was unable to make the connection. It bothered him that he couldn't figure out why her smell was so vaguely recognizable. He didn't like being caught unawares. Kansas straightened his furrowed brow as the woman scooted over to offer him a seat beside her. He hesitated, wondering if he would regret spending his time with this strange fem, rather than seeking books as he'd set out to do. But as he strode awkwardly toward her and took a seat next to her, Kansas decided that it made no difference. His intention was to get his mind off things, and sharing company with a canine and her marijuana seemed almost better than going falling into the tranquil but daunting silence of the library. "Thanks," he returned, softly but genuinely.

He sat rather drawn up, his hands on his knees. She gave a name, and he was discouraged to find he had never heard it before. "Kansas Sadira," his words illustrated by a tendril of cigarette smoke. He flicked the half-smoked cigarette into the slushy earth, then almost cringed at himself for not offering to let her finish it. "Would you like one?" he asked as he pulled out the pack to show her. He didn't know how many of the population smoked, but giving something of oneself was good for getting to know someone else. Perhaps it was a passive-aggressive move, because the marijuana smelled absolutely exquisite, and that coupled with the contentedly dazed look in Lolita's eyes made him want a hit, or several. Maybe he thought that if she took a cigarette, she would allow him to smoke her weed. Wow; he barely knew her and already he was using her. It felt awful.

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Lolita Monroe · 03-06-2010, 03:34 PM

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Meghann is verrrrry sorry. ;-; 300+ words.

###Though she was sure that she had never met this man before now, Lolita was able to recognize his scent as being very similar to Cambria's own. Even if they were not of some relation, which she was nearly positive about, she did recognize that they were in the smae pack and had been for quite a while. It was not on her agenda, however, to announce that she had any idea of where or what he came from. As her thoughts turned to her encounter with Cambria, Lolita felt the little tingle in the base of her torso, the memory of that day bringing her a smile. Maybe she would need to find someone to take care of her again. . . Or perhaps this man could help her out, she decided, looking him over curiously as he sat beside her, a coy smile adorning her lithe muzzle. If she were to wonder about her "type," she couldn't imagine what it would be--everyone? So obviously, this man definitely fit her profile.

###She glanced down at his offer, but shook her head delicately, the motion offhand and passive. "I did them before, but I prefer herb," she explained, thinking back to her meeting with Rurik. She had only tried them the one time, but she had not really enjoyed them. Still, it had been a good thing to try them, since she was willing to try just about anything. If he was willing to share, though, then it was only polite to offer as well. Of course, Lolita would have done so anyway, even if he had not offered his things first. The company of another smoker was all that she needed. Holding out the bowl and lighter for him to take, she asked, "So, what is your story?" She doubted that many ever came down this particular street; it was always very quiet around her city house.

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Kansas Sadira · 03-18-2010, 08:07 AM

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300+

He felt her watching him: an uneasy sensation, for he didn't know why her eyes were fixed upon him. He wondered if she found him attractive, or if that was aiming to high. As soon as the consideration, crossed his mind, Kansas felt like slapping himself; why would he care? Maybe she simply found him interesting, though he wasn't sure why anyone found him interesting as a generality. He compared it to how he felt about her, and decided that she was an intriguing woman, with her fiery hair and easy demeanor. The pale boy felt no sexual attraction to her; rather, he regarded her as an artist might regard a beautiful painting. It was the same way with all beautiful females, with the exception of Savina.

He wasn't surprised or offended by her decline of his offer. Her mention of preferring "herb" pushed him further into his dislike of the cigarette's smell, and he ground the rest of it into the earth. She had not offered for him to smoke with her yet, and he worried that she wouldn't. But it was reasonable that they should get to know one another first, so she could be sure he wasn't a threat. He was content with this. "I'm... not sure what you want to know," he admitted, fondling his eyebrow ring thoughtfully. Of course, he defaulted to telling of his family, the thing that mattered most to him, and the thing that was in his thoughts most of the time, anyway. "I'm from Crimson Dreams; I live there with my mate and three puppies, er, 'adolescents', now, I guess." How strange to be referring to Cambria, Gotham, and Amata as adolescents. Wasn't he barely past his teenage years himself? Their age, and progress in its entirety, would never cease to baffle him. "What about you?"

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Lolita Monroe · 03-20-2010, 10:07 PM

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300+ words.

###He did not take the bowl and lighter from her when she held them out as a silent suggestion, but she supposed that could be because he did not know whether or not she was actually offering. It was entirely possible that he did not know the smoker's etiquette, especially if all he smoked were those cigarettes that Rurik also smoked. Lolita held them out higher so that they would be more obvious as an offer, adding, "If you would like, I have plenty." It was true, of course. Lolita had more herb than she needed at any point in time, and she was even considering beginning to grow inside the house. It was scent-marked heavily, so she doubted that many went in there. Even if they did, she did not mind sharing, as that was what smoekrs did. They shared what they had and enjoyed one another's company. For Lolita, such company did not last long, but she enjoyed it all the same.

###At the mention of his mate and children, though, Lolita pouted. It seemed unlikely that he would speak of them if they were not important to him. "A mate? I'm guessing you love her?" she probed curiously, though she knew the answer. If he did not love her, then he would not have brought her up. The mention of children, as well as the mention of their age, was curious. It seemed to offer an answer as to his potential relationship to Cambria, as their scents were very close. It seemed more than likely that this was her father, and she resolved herself to most definitely keep her one-time relations with the girl a secret from him. As for herself, though, she did not know what would be very interesting for him to hear. "Me? I'm just your local dead girl, living in Dahlia de Mai in a tree alone." There really was not much else to say about herself. She supposed she could speak of the one she loved, too, but most did not like hearing that she was in love with her sister. It just wasn't what could be called "normal."

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Kansas Sadira · 03-23-2010, 10:34 AM

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Whoops, didn't realize that she'd offered those to him. Sarah needs to read more carefully. 300+

He'd misread her hand movements, and her more persistent prodding toward him with the lighter in hand caused his pale eyes to widen in realization. The snowy boy uttered a small "oh," unable to quell the smile forming upon his muzzle. This was what he'd wanted, and yet he felt badly when he took the lighter and the bowl. It was true that he didn't know about "smokers' etiquette," because he wasn't elevated to the "smoker" level; hence the reason he felt rude taking without giving back. "Thank you. I just started... doing this. Smoking marijuana." It seemed better to explain his awkward behavior to her before she kicked him off her porch. The pale werewolf lit the bowl and took as big a hit as he could, enjoying the strong smell and taste of the herb while it entered his lungs.

She spoke as he exhaled, and he could sense the disappointment in her voice. It was so odd that she'd been looking at him in a longing way, possibly even wishing for more than just his stoned company. She had guessed correctly, though he again regretted disappointing her, only because now perhaps her opinion of him was diminished. But he waited until she'd answered his question, handing the smoking paraphernalia back to her as he listened politely. He was beginning to feel good, a little more at ease now with a high working up. "Dead girl? You... look pretty alive to me." He didn't know what she meant by "dead," perhaps it was some stoners' term for being a stoner. He, indeed, was a fool. "I do love her, " he said gently, smiling. Kansas wanted to say her name (he loved saying her name, telling others about her), but had the sense that this was unnecessary and could possibly make him sound even more foolish.

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Lolita Monroe · 04-11-2010, 02:16 PM

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Hi, my name is Meghann and college has decided to kick my butt for the last few weeks of the semester. April 30th, April 30th. . . 300+ words.

###Lolita did not mind having company in inexperienced smokers, since that seemed to be the type she found most often. Smoking had never been a social thing for her, and she did it daily, regardless of who was there or if she was alone. She needed to, or her body would start to decompose and everyone would really understand that she was, in fact, dead. For whatever reason, others seemed to have a very hard time acknowledging that someone who was talking to them might not be alive. Miss Monroe understood it, though, and she supposed that was all that mattered. The creamy Dahlian knew how to keep her body walking and fresh, though some days sh simply wished that everything about her would just die. That was impossible, though, and on most days she was able to accept that. Some days, though... Not so much.

###Today was one of the better days, as evidenced by the fact that she was glad to have smoking company. Her mood was far from negative, as it sometimes had the tendency to be. "A terrible shame, about that mate. You're one to look at," she mused, subtly leaning closer to him only just a bit. It would not be the first time that she had convinced a mated male or female to sleep with her, and though it had not been her plan for the day, she was pretty sure she wanted to at least try for this one. If nothing happened, it would be no big deal, and she certainly would not press him. Lolita was curious to see if she could make it happen. In response to what he said about her seeming alive, she shook her head gently, giggling just a tiny bit. "I am, most assuredly, dead, but I am flattered." She paused, then asked, "So what brings you out this way?" She hardly ever saw anyone else out this way.

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Kansas Sadira · 04-29-2010, 09:39 PM

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Good lucks! And I'm sorry for being superslow. 300+

Kansas had never smoked alone, but to him it seemed a silly idea. He'd never used any substance alone, had never even thought about it. To him, such things were done for social purposes. But what would it be like to do this alone? Or to drink with no one around? Perhaps it was better, since regrettable things could more likely occur when among others (this was an unpleasant thing to consider for Kansas). He nearly lost himself when she spoke of her regret that he had Savina, and he glanced at her uncertainly as she moved just slightly closer to him. She was a lovely girl, but Kansas found her attractive as he would find art attractive, with no sexual desire involved. He was too wrapped up in his mate, perhaps pathetically so. He responded to her words with an unsteady, stoned laugh but made no movement himself. "Thanks," he blurted, then covered his mouth bashfully, thinking deeply about how this sounded to her.

He was honestly surprised that a young woman such as herself found him handsome — oddly, he felt like a much older man and the attention made him feel funny. But luckily she did not advance further for now, and spoke in a pleasantly conversational way. Her words brought a puzzled expression to Kansas' face, still completely dumbstruck by her insistence that she was dead. He looked her over, actually searching and sniffing for signs of death. He discovered none. But... what if she were dead? Was it really beyond the realm of possibility? He compartmentalized this thought to be brought up later when he was alone. "I was headed to the library, to replenish my book supply. But I lost my way..." He shrugged, wondering how again he had managed to do this. "D'you live here, Lolita?"

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Lolita Monroe · 05-07-2010, 01:15 AM

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Meghann is superslow! But she is determined to change that now that school is done, she is! =D 300+ words.

###It was fairly obvious that this man was not particularly interested in her, at least in the way that she wanted him to be. Lolita was, truthfully, a bit put off by the fact that he seemed almost uncomfortable with her compliments and possible advances, but she mentally shrugged it off. There really was no way that she could begrudge him the desire to be faithful to a mate he loved, just because she was not in such a position. If she were in such a position, she would have wanted to remain faithful, as well... Probably. There was no guarantee of that; the only person she could ever imagine feeling so completely for was as good as dead to her. Lolita held out no hope that she would ever see Pippa again, and that probably factored into her formerly promiscuous activity. It had slowed down immensely, though, it seemed, since her arrival here.

###Books were foreign objects to the woman, as her pack had not been literate and she had never taken the time to learn after her death. In fact, she could not recall whether or not she had ever even touched one of these books, and she certainly would not have known what to do with one if she had. "What about books do you enjoy?" she inquired lightly, very curious to know. She really saw no purpose in them. What use were things called 'words' printed in things called 'books' to her? No use at all, that's what they were. It was more than likely that she would never pick up a book, but she was curious to know what it was that others found appealling, as it was obvious that many did. At the subject of where she lived, the creamy Dahlian shrugged. "I have a tree in Dahlia, but I like to come here often, enough that I marked it. It's got memories," she added vaguely, "so I don't want it to be anyone else's."

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Kansas Sadira · 05-17-2010, 07:40 AM

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congrats on finishing school! Big Grin 300+

Kansas had no intention of insulting her with his disinterest. He wished there was a way to make her understand his thoughts, that she was beautiful in his eyes, just not in the way he desired. It would have been convenient to simply share his mind's way with her without words, for he couldn't possibly choose the right ones. Explaining himself was difficult. It was an especially fruitless idea since it had so much to do with Savina, for who he harbored so many feelings that he couldn't possibly articulate, especially now that he was in a different place in his mind. Perhaps the woman had never loved anyone; or perhaps she had and that individual was no more for her. If only these questions could be comfortably answered.

He was glad that, in his blatant shying away from her advances, she did not kick him off her porch. He wanted to spend time with her, for he sensed that she was a very interesting woman. She most definitely deserved his time. It's a nice place, he agreed, looking around him for just a second or two. He noted that she called herself a Dahlian, and thought immediately of his cousins, wondering if she knew them. It must be good to have somewhere like this to go... and be alone. He did not want to ignore her question, for her words were flattering in their curiosity. Maybe he'd found another avid reader. Books were something Kansas could always discuss with an easy mind. They were his favorite human objects. I like fiction — stories. All kinds. But my collection is ridiculous, His and Savina's room was crammed with books, and Kansas often left his books lying about the mansion as well. He never liked to throw them out when he was through. It was as if each book was its own individual, with personal value. You like to read, Lolita?

Lolita Monroe · 05-22-2010, 03:30 PM

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Thanks. :3 Just a number of years left, woo... xD; 300+ words.

###The house's meaning to her could likely not be explained, and she was glad that Kansas did not ask her what sort of memories she had here. Lolita would have lied, in that case. She could not--or rather, would not--explain that she had tried to kill her uncle here but that she had been unable to do so. The bloodstains were still on the carpet in the bedroom, and they would stay there. The creamy Dahlian simply did not think that anyone would truly understand what had transpired and why it had been so important to her. "Do you not have somewhere private that you can go to be alone?" she asked, wondering if that was part of having a mate in your pack. If having a mate meant that you could never be alone, then Lolita was glad to be lacking. Deep down, though, she knew that it would be different if Pippa were with her. Everything would be different.

###She shook her head delicately at his question. No, she did not enjoy reading, and she often wondered why others did. Of course, this was because she could not read. Maybe she would enjoy it if she knew how, but even that was unlikely. "I do not know how to," she responded truthfully. The concepts of reading and enjoying old human tales were lost on her, just as she found it difficult to understand why many chose to live their lives so similarly to humans. Lolita did not wear clothing, and if it were not for the painful reminder of her failure and a marker in her life, Lolita would not have continued to return to the human house. The idea of living like the old humans fascinated her in its absurdity, but she chose not to comment on such things when they were brought up. She had a different view than many, she knew, and she knew that many would not appreciate her questioning their lifestyle. Lolita hated it, at any rate.

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Kansas Sadira · 05-30-2010, 10:25 AM

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agh, ain't that a bitch. 300+

She spoke to question whether he had a quiet place to himself, to which he shook his head vigorously with a misplaced laughed. Afterward, the ivory-furred boy took a moment to gather himself. This had happened during his previous high, a confusion, a worry that he had misspoken in some minor way and therefore sounded stupid to his company. No, I do, he began, wondering how to clear up what he had meant. He saw the house as a representative of a different kind of "alone" and "quiet," as it was much more complete. Kansas had plenty of rooms to hide in when he was feeling overwhelmed, but he'd never considered having a single building to do what he wished with. I mean, having a whole house to yourself. Must be nice... huh?

Her response about books warranted a shrug from the snowy Were, as it appeared somewhat blunt to him. The Sadira thought she might not understand how one could enjoy hiding in a book, which wasn't at all offensive to him. Everyone enjoyed different things, and just because he got so much pleasure from reading did not mean she had to. Eh... If you ever want to learn, I could teach you. Just so you know. The Colonel was always willing to share his skill — it was pleasing to watch others learn, taking what they wished from what he had to teach and interpreting it in their own manner. It's not difficult, he added grinning in her stunning direction. They had discussed literature for long enough to make him nervous, simply because he didn't want to bore her out of her wits. Letting his words hang for a second or two, he leaned his head back against his shoulders, enjoying the cool breeze upon his chest. So... tell me what you like to do. I'm curious, he requested softly.

Lolita Monroe · 06-17-2010, 02:41 PM

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300+ words.

###"I suppose," she mused, though she did not know whether or not it was all that different than her home in Dahlia de Mai. "I'm alone more often than not." It was the way that she liked it, generally, although there were times when she felt awfully lonely. The times that she found company, though not a common occurrence, were a welcome change from her usual loneliness. It was not that being alone bothered her. In fact, she liked it, but the occasional bit of company was very much welcome. It seemed she found more souls out here by the house in the city than she ever did in Dahlia, which was unfortunate enough.

###Lolita shrugged noncommitally, not thinking it very likely that she would take him up on the offer, but it was nice of him to do so, anyway. The creamy woman clung mostly to her feral roots, only using human smoking devices because she did not have much of a choice. She did not wear clothes, and with the exception of nesting in the bedroom of city house when she was there, she slept among the earth's debris and in the trees. If she was not trapped in her optime form, then she would not ever use it, but unfortunately, it was not something she had a choice in.

###What did she do? Well... Nothing, really. Lolita had no real, official duty, as far as she knew. Of course, she had to do things for Dahlia de Mai, but she really felt like she had nothing to strive for, nothing to work for. "I don't really know. I guess I don't do much at all. I don't really have much of a purpose in this world," she admitted. She had not really looked to find one, either.

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Kansas Sadira · 06-18-2010, 01:18 PM

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If he wasn't mistaken by what he'd gathered about her so far, Lolita enjoyed her time to herself. Kansas had no judgment for this — he had been that way as an adolescent, never feeling completely comfortable unless he had a place to ease down by himself (and the more time there, the better). He remained this way to some degree. Being introverted, his energy came from quiet time to think over what surrounded him. Lolita, he thought, must be the same way. There was a difference between that and leading a reclusive like. It seemed impossible that her way was the latter, with the generosity she had shown him since his unexpected arrival on her doorstep.

He worried that her nonchalant shrug meant his offer was unwelcome. Perhaps she found it odd that a complete stranger wanted to teach her how to read. With this in mind, he made no further comment. The pale wolf hadn't any investment in her knowledge of written language — he was simply being kind. She had marijuana to give him, and he almost desperately wanted for there to be something he could give her in return. Apparently there was nothing but his company, and already he'd erased the possibility of closer contact for the woman.

The Dreamer now had the desire to make up for the strikes against him, so he was especially careful to listen to her every word. He was inwardly startled when, again, she spoke to remind him of himself. A knowing smile graced his lips, and he connected his fingers absently as he smiled, resting them in a triangle beneath his chin. You don't do anything either? he said with a soft laugh. We're... alike, then. He wanted to say that he was certain she had a purpose in this world, one she didn't know of yet. It just wasn't his place to preach to her. I'm fairly useless as a pack wolf.

Lolita Monroe · 07-01-2010, 01:13 AM

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<3 WotD: Macabre!

###Lolita did not mean to make him feel bad about her reaction to his offer to teach her though of course she did not know what was running through his mind. Belatedly, though, she realized that her silence could be mistaken for a lack of interest. "Maybe I'll take you up on that offer someday. I just don't know how much it'd suit me right now." She hardly knew what suited her with her fluctuating moods, and she could not begin to think of a way to decide whether or not it was worth it to learn how to read and write. She had no real reason to learn to read, no use for the skill. If she could think of a purpose for her to have it, though, then she would look him up in Crimson Dreams to accept the offer.

###It interested her to hear that she was not the only one who merely seemed to exist, doing nothing and everything without a single purpose. "But you... You have a family, someone to love. That should make up for any way that you feel useless, because to them, you're not useless. They just need you and your love." Lolita did not have any of that, and that was part of what contributed to her macabre outlook on life. She felt like she had no purpose, and it was seemingly justified.

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Kansas Sadira · 07-15-2010, 12:06 AM

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He wasn't hurt by her refusal, but he accepted her kind words with a smile and a small shrug. Kansas loved books for many reasons. There was much knowledge about the ways of the world within the pages of books, knowledge he found comfort in knowing. Perhaps he was weak for seeking answers from a deceased race. The Sadira also spent time reading to escape his thoughts, to dive into unknown worlds that had nothing to do with him. Reading was his way of pulling himself out of his mind, of refraining from obsessing over himself and his own petty woes. Those who didn't read simply found other ways of doing this, he assumed. He understood.

Her words surprised him, an involuntary frown forming upon his lips. She spoke of a concept Savina and others had tried to explain to him but that he never seemed to grasp. He could accept that he was important to his family, but it always seemed as if there was more he should be doing for them, for the world, that was beyond his abilities. He quite possibly would never shake this insecurity. That's... that's kind of you to say. He spoke with a hint of lingering surprise in his voice. This woman owed him nothing, and yet she had offered him her wisdom. The snowy male was quiet a moment, enjoying the warm, comfortable haze that seemed to grace his physicality inside and out, an effect of marijuana that he loved. He wished that there was a way to enlighten her as she had done for him. I think everyone has a purpose, huh? Everyone's here for some — grand reason. It's just... hard to understand... He spoke both to Lolita and to himself. Though his voice held a definite taint of uncertainty, this "purpose" was a concept Kansas truly believed in, difficult though it was to fathom.

Their conversation proved interesting, one of the most notable talks he'd ever had with a mere stranger. They spoke and smoked together until the shifting sun and lengthening shadows told Kansas it was time for them to part ways.

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