[html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... nzoban.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> <3 300+
The sky outside was overcast and perfectly matched the young Marino's mood. It was amazing how an event that had seemed so amazing and full of promise had so quickly disintegrated into something that left her feeling embarrassed and rejected. Ever since that afternoon with Mati she had been even more closed off and down than she had been before, for now not only thoughts of what her uncle had done plagued her but being pushed away by the one she liked did as well. The attraction had come suddenly and inextricably, but more powerful than anything the young wolf had experienced thus far. Perhaps it wouldn't bother her so much if it hadn't seemed like Mati had wanted it too at first. Indeed, it seemed like the emotions had been mutual. That fantasy had been dashed when the older fey had broken away from their embrace however. Cambria had left the other's studio and room quickly afterwords and had been avoiding running into her ever since. She felt like an enormous fool and seeing the other fey would only make it worse.
Her slender form was sprawled out on her soft mattress, front paws hanging off the edge with her chin resting on top of them. Sea foam orbs were directed at the floor, though they stared at nothing in particular. Unfocused they looked into the beyond, into the myriad of troubling thoughts that dominated her brain. Enzo was perched between her shoulders, hunkered down with his feathers fluffed up. The dove might have very well fallen asleep with how still his companion stayed. The only motion she displayed was the slow and steady rise and fall of her torso from breathing. If only there was something to distract her. Maybe when her mother had the new puppies she would be distracted from all this mess and be able to be happy again. She hoped she would be able to be a good big sister for the forthcoming pups.
[/html]
[html] 300+
The murky sky was not anything close to a reflection of her father's mood. Kansas was far too chipper, a nice swell of positive emotion so unlike what he'd felt in the beginning of the winter months. The anxiety that had amassed within him seemed to have disappeared, leaving him shockingly calm and... prepared. The many aspects of his life often overwhelmed Kansas more than they should, and he had developed the habit of feeling sorry for himself because of this; but lately he'd been thinking of things differently. Odd that he was still growing, growing nearly as much as his children were. He wondered if they noticed anything different in their father; he hoped not, for he wanted to remain a constant in their lives. A source of support and comfort. The thing was, he now felt better equipped to do this for them. He wasn't sure what to attribute his new wealth of confidence and certainty specifically, but he thought perhaps it was a combination of things, falling into place piece by piece.
He was downstairs on the couch, just thinking rampantly as he often did. He thought of his unborn children. He was immeasurably excited, and loved to muse about what they would look like, the wolves they would become. Eventually his thoughts shifted to his older three, marveling at them. However, when he pictured Cambria's face in his mind he felt a sadness grip his chest, for she seemed unhappy recently. Deciding to check on her, Kansas leaped from the couch and took toward her room quickly on his four legs. He woofed outside her door to let her know he was there, then paused to give her a minute in case she was in the middle of something. He understood his pups' need for privacy, especially now that they were no longer pups. "Cambi? Can I come in?" he asked with his muzzle against the door, softly.
|
[/html]
[html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... nzoban.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> 300+
Thoughts raged through her mind, her focus bouncing between her uncle and Mati. Both were subjects she simply wanted to run away from but could not escape. Eventually she would have to face them both. Ehno because he was family and no matter how mad at him she was and how she was she wouldn't be able to avoid seeing him forever. Mati because she was part of the pack, and also the pack's Nanny, so when her mother had the pups there was no doubt in her mind that the Church femme would be helping to take care of them some of the time. In fact, the birth of the pups would bring the family together again, no doubt, so she might even have to be around them both at the same time. Oh, what an awful prospect, she thought inwardly and groaned softly. She was excited for her little siblings and didn't want these unpleasant prospects dampening the momentous occasion.
She had faintly heard the sound of approaching paws, but hadn't thought that they would be stopping at her door and so had paid them no mind. When a bark sounded outside her room though her ears perked up and her gaze focused curiously on her door. Who would come see her? That question was quickly answered though as her father's voice filtered through the wooden barrier. Her tail gave a weak wag. Even when she was in such a foul mood seeing her dad would make things better. "Yeah Daddy, please do," she called out to him, straightening her head up so it was no longer hanging off the edge of her bed. Enzo shifted also with her movement, emitting a soft coo. Cambria hoped that they could stay away from the sticky subjects that plagued her, but she knew that her daddy would know that something was bothering her and would want to help her. Hopefully he would be able to and she wouldn't feel too nervous telling him what was going on.
[/html]
[html] 300+
He wasn't quite ready to accept that his oldest children were almost adults, no matter how well he understood what their coming of age entailed. He had less and less control over what they did, and very soon he would have none, whatsoever. It wasn't the power and control that Kansas wanted; no, not at all. He wasn't the sort of being who prioritized such things. He would simply miss the ability to tell them what to do, and what not to do, because it meant he was the one keeping them safe. Now, they would have to keep themselves safe. If something should ever happen to one of them — if they faced danger — he could do nothing to keep them from going in the wrong direction. That would be up to them alone. He had faith in them, and he knew that Cambria, Amata, and Gotham were not stupid. It still scared him.
When she invited him in, she sounded so very grown up. It wrenched his heart. Kansas shoved his snout through the cracked door and stepped into his daughter's room, finding her across her bed with the most troubled expression in her beautiful sea eyes. The young father chewed his lip, desperately thinking of what could be bothering her so. Was she upset about the new litter? Such a thing wouldn't have angered him at all; he just needed to know so he could help her. Kansas sat at the edge of her bed, facing her, and offered an encouraging sort of smile. "What's bothering you, sweetheart?" his voice was again soft and gentle. He didn't want to sound hysterical in any way for fear of riling her up as well. She must be comfortable talking to him, rather than afraid of his reaction when she did.
|
[/html]
[html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... nzoban.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> 300+
No matter how grown up she was, she'd always want and need her daddy. Kansas made her feel special, and beautiful, and there were so few people who made her feel that way. She had thought perhaps Mati would be one of those people (she already was somewhat without even trying), but it didn't seem that would happen now. Cambria was convinced the older wolfess didn't see her the way that she saw her. She hadn't expected that idea to hurt so much, but it did. Her father would never hurt her though. He would never do anything as thoughtless as her uncle had or push her away like Mati had. He would always be there for her and she would always be his little girl, even if she wouldn't technically be his "littlest" for much longer. Even if she were sad she would enjoy the company of her father before he had to focus on the new litter.
He entered her room and despite herself she felt a smile lift the corners of her mouth and her tail give a happy wag. It was proof of how happy her dad made her that even when she was in such a state he could make her react like that. As he sat and before he spoke she leaned forward and rubbed her muzzle against his face, wishing she were small enough again to have him curl around her and protect her from everything the world threatened her with. As he asked the question she knew he would she felt her lungs deflate and a sigh rushed from her throat. "A lot," she admitted, defeatedly. "Uncle Ehno." Surprisingly though, that wasn't the thing causing her the most turmoil. "And...I like someone. I don't think they like me back though..." she said, the pain filtering back into her voice. Soon she would have to reveal her preference for the same sex, but for now she still kept it hidden from him, still nervous of how he would take it.
[/html]
[html] I'm loving this thread. 300+
Kansas wished to always be available for his children. The only way he could abandon them was if he had no other choice, and he hoped with all his heart that such a thing wouldn't happen. His father, despite Kansas' resentment toward him, had ensured that Kansas was safe and had remained a father until he could no longer. It was the only trait of Phoenix's that the pale boy had the desire to emulate. Even when they were adults who lived their own lights he wanted to ensure that he was there should they need him. Just because his babies were no longer babies didn't mean they weren't still his children. He especially planned to keep an eye on Cambria, as she was the meekest, and the child he spent most of his time worrying after. No, it wasn't that he wanted to parent her all her life. Maybe he would become more of a friend, someone she could just talk to about whatever pain she felt.
He was not at all surprised by her answer, not by any of it. She had every right to be angry with Ehno; even Kansas was unhappy with the choice his brother-in-law had made. But what was important to him was how Cambria felt, as Ehno's decision affected her more directly. What she spoke of afterward made her father wonder. What else was bothering the bright, warm girl? He moved to sit on the floor at the edge of her bed, wrapping his silky tail around his paws. Kansas wished to share his thoughts with her, wanting to encourage her the best he could. "I... understand why you feel the way you do about Ehno. You have... every right, to feel hurt. Just know that he loves you, that's all." He grinned and nuzzled the soft fur of her cheek. "He didn't mean to hurt you." Now for the elephant. His baby girl liked someone, and he knew she meant this in a romantic sense (as much as he wanted to deny it). But Kansas knew that Cambria should not be expected to act like a little girl anymore. It was time for new experiences, and he was open to that, open to helping her with them. Being there, as he had vowed. "...Why do you think that this person doesn't like you?" He couldn't imagine anyone disliking Cambria. Who was she talking about?
|
[/html]
[html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... nzoban.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> sorry for the delay love <3 I am too, I love their daddy/daughter chemistry ^^ 300+
Some kids may feel the need to leave the nest and go out to explore the worlds for themselves, but Cambria would never be among their numbers. The outside world had always scared her more than it interested her. Perhaps it was a bit foolish to be afraid of what lay beyond the borders of her home, but it was simply the way she had always felt. But more than that though, she couldn't think of a single thing out there that was more appealing to her than staying where she was. The girl didn't seek adventure, she sought comfort, and everything and everyone who comforted her were right here. Her family was here, her friends were here. That was all she wanted. Crimson Dreams would remain her home as long as her family was here. She wanted to remain with her parents and siblings and aunt and cousin. True, Conor didn't live here, but he was close and she could see him whenever she wished to, at least that had been the case before the war.
Her father slid closer to her and she could feel his proximity chase away some of the shadows that haunted her. It was a temporary fix that would likely disappear not long after they parted, but any reprieve was a welcome one, even if they were speaking of the things that plagued her thoughts and dampened her spirit. The young Marino listened to her dad, taking in his wise words concerning the situation with her uncle. She knew he spoke the truth, and it was easier to swallow coming from him than from many others, but it would still take time before she could forgive Ehno, if she ever could. It was a deep hurt that he had brought down on her. "I'll try to remember that, it's just hard. My heart doesn't want to forgive him yet..." Cambi leaned into his nuzzle, drawing in even more of his compassion.
She licked her lips, trying to put her hurt feelings into words. Should she tell him now that it was a girl that she liked and not a boy? She knew she shouldn't be nervous telling him, he would never stop loving her, but it still scared her a little. "I thought that maybe they did, but when I went to hug them they kind of stepped away from me and seemed to clam up. I don't think I did anything wrong, but I don't know. I've never liked anyone before, maybe I'm not what she wants." It had slipped it, that fateful "she". Cambria glanced back over to her father, waited with baited breath to see how he would react to this revelation about her, his daughter.
[/html]
[html]
me's toos! 300+
There was never an end to the similarities Kansas saw between himself and his daughter. It was almost eerie, their resemblance of demeanor — but he liked that she had taken after him. She had possessed this reserved persona since her earliest days, when her nature was just beginning to bloom; and children did not imprint so early, they couldn't. In such a case, Kansas suspected that he would have turned out like Phoenix, his father being his only reliable example for the better part of his own childhood. But he was nothing like his proud father. Cambria's shared influence made him think that there was something more... like perhaps he had given a part of his spirit to her. Such things could be considered so foolish, but he liked to think about them, to think of the magic in Life.
He was glad that she liked to stick around home (another attribute they shared); it meant he did not have to worry about her quite as much as the other two, convenient since he had grown especially protective of his meek little girl. But over time he had also come to trust her inner strength, a strength that was more than he'd ever been able to boast of. She expressed that strength in her willingness to confide in him. He felt wonderful hearing her speak of what troubled her. "Forgiveness takes time." He couldn't tell her when she must forgive Ehno. It was her choice entirely. Kansas just believed that it would come to her at the right time.
An explanation of her hesitance came at her final words, when she revealed the truth of this person's gender. Kansas was surprised, but he was also happy. Now he understood part of what seemed to be holding her back, and now he wanted to gently coax her forward. He had an idea now of who she was talking about, and was very, very hopeful that he was right. She was a wolf he could trust to be good to Cambria. "Or maybe she likes you, too. She could be shy," His little girl was now a young woman whose beauty was positively radiant. Perhaps this person could scarcely handle it. "I think you should talk to her, sweetie. Tell her how you feel... I know that's kind of hard, but you could do it. You're... strong."
|
[/html]
[html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... nzoban.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> someday I'll reply to this in a decent amount of time x.x 300+
She was glad to be like her father. The girl had never expected to be strong or outgoing or any of those traits most people valued. It just hadn't been in her to be those things. She wasn't like her mother in those ways, but that was okay. Deficiency might have been a worry that plagued her younger days, but as she had grown she had come to see that there was nothing wrong with the way she was. Her sea foam eyes saw more things too, things that she had missed as a pup. Yes, her mother was strong, but there were things that even wore her down. No matter what though, her dad was always there for her, just as he was always there for all of them. It was a different kind of strength, a different kind of usefulness, and she hoped that someday she could be that kind of support to those around her as Kansas was to their family.
If Cambria didn't have him to talk to she didn't know what she would do. There were few that, in situations such as these, she felt comfortable confiding in. Her father was always at the top of the list though. Not only did he comfort her, but he always had words of wisdom to share with his daughter. Things that made sense to her that might not coming from any other mouth. It was because she trusted him completely and she knew he would never do anything to steer her down the wrong path. He also never pushed her, which more appreciated than she could say. He always knew the exact right way to handle these issues with her. The girl nodded her head, making a promise that she wouldn't give up on Ehno, even if she wanted to right now.
Cambria waited nervously for her father's reaction to her admission. The silence was almost maddening in these moments and it was only his calming presence that kept her from losing it. When he spoke though, there was no real mention of it. No surprise in his voice, no judgment, no disappointment. To him, it was only a new fact about her, and one that was perfectly fine. Cambi sighed in relief, leaning into again, so thankful she had such a wonderful man as her dad. She hadn't thought of Mati as being shy. Could that be it? She didn't know. She wanted to believe it, but she was still afraid of being hurt more. "I...I'm just afraid. What if she really doesn't like me? I've been hiding because I'm so afraid to see her again. I don't want to see everything I'm worried I might see on her face..." His last words caught her off guard and she looked him, astonishment on her features. "You...you think I'm strong?" Of course he would never lie to her, but still, she had never expected to hear those words.
[/html]
[html]
i luff you! this post is like "ramble repeat rambleramble" 300+
Kansas was amazed that his daughter had survived the mishap with Naniko's drugs with so few aftereffects. The most harmful result of the maddening event was the resentment she'd developed toward Ehno. The pale wolf was certain that his brother-in-law had never expected to hurt Cambria, but he should have thought about his actions. The chocolate-furred girl was too precious a being to be forsaken in any way. At the same time, the father was well aware that such dramas occurred among families, misunderstandings and betrayals that must be worked through. They were related to individuals who did unspeakable things, unfortunately, so Ehno's actions seemed to Kansas rather mild. He only hoped that as she aged, Cambria would see it this way too, but he would never think less of her for taking her time.
Every word Cambria spoke rang familiar to the snowy Colonel. He listened to her with a mild expression, but within his eyes was a knowing smile. He had felt everything she voiced, exactly as she spoke it. Kansas allowed her to lean closer, and when she had finished all she had to saw, the smile moved to his lips. "Mmhmm. Very strong," he reassured her, again happily thinking of her inner might. "I was thinking the same things when I fell in love with Savina — er, your mother," he began, snickering as he corrected himself. "But if I never told her how I felt, I don't think we'd be together. And I wouldn't have you guys." Remarkable things happened when feelings were shared. Savina had helped him learn this, for she was his greatest reward for his own openness. Kansas did not want Cambria to miss out on a loving relationship because of her fear of how Mati would react. He hoped that she would to express her feelings, and know the joy of doing so. "Forget yourself. See what happens," he finished with a shrug.
|
[/html]
[html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... nzoban.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> awful wait, yet again. I R sorries :< maybe wrap this up? 300+
What had happened to her was the darkest part of her past and her memories and she had worked hard to try and forget it all. What her uncle had done was bad enough, but the compound her deep sense or betrayal was the fact that it had brought all those awful memories to the surface again. She could remember the depression and melancholy that had consumed her for so long clear as day. Not to mention the frightening experience of having the powerful substance run rampant through her small body and wreaking havoc. None of that had helped her to want to forgive her uncle any. Perhaps, when all of that trauma faded back into the shadows, she would be more willing to move on and forgive his transgression. It would still be some time before that happened, however.
His confirmation of her strength made the girl blush beneath her dark fur. It was true, she was stronger than she had been when she was younger, but she had never pictured herself as a strong person. Everything about her was mild, which she had come to learn wasn't anything to be ashamed of. It helped her to be a compassionate person and healer. Though when she thought of it, she did feel a certain strength when it came to healing. When she was working for someone's well being, she could be strong to keep them calm and make them better. Perhaps that was the strength that her father saw inside of her.
Back to the matters of the heart though, Cambria was surprised, and eager, to get this small glimpse at her parents past. Their love had always been so evident to her that in her mind she somewhat foolishly assumed that they had always been together and had never had any of the rocky situations that most relationships did. Hearing her father speak of his own fears when he was falling in love with her mother, it made the clouds that were smothering her mood shine with rays of hope on their edges. If her father had been afraid like she was, and things had worked out because he had talked to her mother...then maybe there was hope for her feelings towards Mati. Cambi took a deep breath, nuzzling her face against the pale fur of her sire. "Okay. I'll be brave, and talk to her." Easier said than done, but she would try. "Thank you daddy," she said softly, her tail padding against the mattress.
[/html]
[html]
it's all good, my lady! i'll archive this. :3
All he wished to do was encourage hope for Cambria and Mati. The beginning of a relationship was as frightening as it was exciting. There was so much uncertainty, so many questions that circled one's mind. He knew what his daughter was going through, for she put words to his own feelings in the infancy of his and Savina's love story. Sky-hued eyes took on a faraway expression as he allowed a few seconds to question himself, as he often could not help doing. He wondered if he had sounded dull to his daughter, and if he had even helped her at all. However, as soon as these thoughts entered his mind, he chased them away as the nonsense they were. Wasting time analyzing himself was of no use to Cambria. Kansas had done his best, and he had spoken with love. That was all he could do.
He returned to the present, silky tail waveing steadily at her grateful touch. The thanks she gave was the most beautiful sound in the world — and he hoped that what he saw in her eyes was relief of some kind. "Yeah, of course, honey," he returned. "I love you." It was easier for him to accept his little girl's discovery of romantic emotion now that he understood her feelings. He was quite reassured by the thought of her talking to Mati about them. Even if she chose a different path, Cambria now had their conversation to turn to and consider, if and when this troubled her again. It was enough for him.
|
[/html]
|
