[MaMa] Am I good enough?
#1
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Colibri Haki
Present day, alternate timeline. long intro is long!
WC: 649

She had made the right choice, she knew it in her heart.

The black dog had attacked her that summer, carving his mark above her breast and breaking her spirit with his cruelty. Vinátta was a fledgeling pack, too new to have warriors or reputation -- they could not protect her, and she was scared he would come back for her. She changed the scar on her chest, the pack's spiritual leader Miskunn using the ceremonial dagger to cut the rune into her skin, but it did not bring her peace of mind. The rune meant change, catharsis, purging, none of which came overnight. It was only a week later when her niece, Eclipse Soulstorm, came to visit her family that Colibri realized the change she needed to make. She could not stay. Her packmates seemed to expect it by the way she withdrew from them, shaken and depressed and unwilling to look anyone in the eyes. They were resigned to let her go, to try and seek her fortunes elsewhere. They wished her well.

Cercatori D'Arte was a haven in the south. It was fate leading her back to the fields of flowers -- the same fields where Dahlia de Mai once stood, her old pack with all its memories. Leaving Vinátta, choosing her niece over her half-sister, it had not been easy... and yet, she felt the burdens and fears lifting from her shoulders as soon as they left the north, drawn irresistibly back to the territories she had lived in and loved in so long ago. It wasn't long before the symptoms came, making her ill and weak and exhausted. No one knew her well enough here to question her solitary habits, to realize what was ailing her. She was carrying the dog's children. This was supposed to be her new beginning, leaving behind the tragedy and violence that had chased her away from yet another pack. She couldn't bear to have it all catch up with her, to live in shame again and let her life spin beyond her control. She had a choice before her, one even more difficult than choosing a new home -- whether or not she should keep the litter growing in her belly.

She had made the right choice, she knew it in her heart.

If the strings of fate had pulled in a different direction, she never would have fallen for Keldava. Coli had given up on motherhood forever, and instead found a mate, one who would fulfill her in a way her unwanted, unborn children never could. Keldava wore the same scar as Colibri did, the rune Thurisaz -- too much of a coincidence to ignore. They had both suffered, both wore the signs of hardship carved into their hides. But with Keldava, Coli no longer felt ashamed of what disfigured her -- her missing tail, her rune, her wrists, it all told the story that led her to here, to her mate. Keldava was so young, and they had not known each other for long; their packmates and the Wolfe-Denahlii household all seemed rather surprised by their whirlwind romance, possibly disapproving of the mateship they shared. But Coli would not change anything for the world.

It was the right choice, because she had finally found unconditional love in the arms of another. Not since Anu had Coli ever felt so strongly about another soul, and it frightened her to give herself so completely, knowing all too well the pain of heartbreak. She worried that perhaps it was just loneliness and the need for comfort that had driven the two females together, and someday soon it would all come unraveled into a tangled mess. Keldava was young enough to love again, but not Coli. She had entrusted her life to the warrior with the rune on her back.

She had made the right choice... hadn't she?

Shouldn't let you conquer me completely
Now I can't let go of this dream
Can't believe that I feel Good enough

template by revo. modification by Becca <3

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#2
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Word Count → 539 :: Sorry for the delay, lets get this rolling! Smile


As always, Keldava’s return to wakefulness was accompanied by a burning pain in her hand and a gut wrenching sense of confusion at the absence of her siblings scents - smells she had woken up to her entire life – and panic at the feeling in her hand. As always these feelings slowly abated into a lingering sense of sadness as Keldava’s mind fully awoke and the memories of recent times came back to her. Her hand hurt because her mother had attacked her, her siblings were absent because her family was shattered, likely beyond repair. In a way these truths were more painful than anything her mind could conjure up.


The house was dark and comfortable, filled with furs and familiar scents – her own mixed with the scents of food, burnt wood and here and there the scent of another female wolf, a scent which caused the blood to rush to Keldava’s cheeks. Even so this early in the morning, with painful memories so close, the house felt stifling and Keldava was hit by the urge to get out. Keldava pushed her way out of the pile of furs she slept in and shifted to Optime, purposely twisting her body to crack out the stiffness of the night. Not wearing clothes made getting ready a quick process for Keldava, she simply ran her fingers through her hair to tame it a little and she was done.


Keldava wasn’t going anywhere in particular so she didn’t bother with the majority of the armour and arms she owned but she did belt her sword around her waist. She probably wouldn’t use it for anything but the weight of the weapon was somewhat comforting to her; it made her feel like an actual warrior, a defender of the pack, and not just a crippled little girl playing make believe. Devini meowed at her as she passed the spot in the fluffy rug placed near the fireplace that she had claimed and Keldava smiled, reaching down to pick the kitten up. She spent a few minutes fussing over her before placing the kitten on her shoulder, pausing for a moment to let Devini work her claws in and get a good grip.


With little to occupy it other than the familiar smells of Thornsbury, Keldava’s mind began to wander almost as soon as she stepped out the door, back to the other scent that had been lingering around when she awoke.


Keldava didn’t know quite what to think about Coli, about them. She was young and her experiences in life so far were far from the sort of things she was going through, that she was feeling now. Coli made her feel happy, in a time when there were precious few things that did that; that was all that Keldava could be certain of. The rest she would have to figure out as she went along.


Keldava’s muzzle lowered as she dipped her head down, sniffing at the ground around her until she eventually caught a whiff of Coli’s scent. It was faint, mixed up in the various scents that criss-crossed the streets but Keldava had followed tougher trails when hunting in the rain so she set off confidently, tail wagging behind her.


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