[MaMa] It Will Rain
#1
[html]

As of late there had only been a single soul that graced his thoughts. The large wolf meandered through the cabin hurriedly and clumsily, gathering the essential items that were necessary for him to go and ride off into the neutral lands beyond the pack’s borders. A cold wind rushed through the open window, the wooden shutter had been left open… Alder reached out to close it, wrapping clawed fingers around it and then he paused. Blue eyes looked out into the failing light, his mind falling back to the thoughts that had moved him to leave the pack for sometime. Days, weeks maybe. Just long enough to get away from this hate and the hurt.


Fresh air flooded his nose, cool and speaking heavily of the fall that was just on its way. And yet the heavy and musky scent that had clung to the red wolf just days past was all he could smell. Alder had wished for more, he had wanted to feel and take more when he had asked that cruel orange eyed male to join him in the Court. Their bond was so deep, and from what Alder could ever understand in his inexperienced ways… pure. Friendship led to kinship and that had gone further to where Alder wanted Sebatian to join him in his pack lands. The day had been so joyous, and now things were crashing down quickly.


So he would leave. He would run away so that the male Sebastian had found and he could be together as they wished. A hand clenched the shutter at the thought, claws ripping though the wood as if it was nothing but soft flesh as he thought about his red fur being touch by another. Alder pulled it away, and it came cleanly form the wall with was seemed liked little effort at all. The masked wolf let it fall, and he left the house with a bluster to pack the bags that were strapped to the shire horse that stood beyond the cabin.

[/html]
#2
Sebastian strolled back to the cabin he shared with Alder, his hips swaying slightly in his worn-out jeans. The Italian was troubled- not that he would ever admit it. And to any outside eye, he didn't look it either. He looked no different than normal, which was precisely the problem. He had grown too used to hiding himself. Only one man had managed to remove the fragile mask that hid his emotions.

Alder. Tall, handsome, strong and with the most strikingly honest eyes he had ever seen. Yet he didn't even realise the effect he had upon the slim artisan. He didn't realise that he was so pure, so beautiful, so genuinely kind that even thinking about being intimate with him made Sebastian feel almost... ashamed. Ashamed that he might think Sebastian only wanted him for his body. Sebastian didn't want him to think that. Sebastian wanted Alder to think he was better than that.

And now Alder was his greatest friend. Sebastian had left behind Casa di Cavalieri for him. Alder made him better. It was a foreign sensation- Alder made him want to be a better person, impossible as that might sound. Sebastian had left behind his home, his rank and his friends. All for Alder.

But he was weak. It frustrated him, even on some bizarre level, even hurt him that Alder had not ever said that he wanted him. He was a friend, little more. So Sebastian reverted. A trip to Halifax, a bar and alcohol and a golden-furred Texan was all it took. Alder hadn't even noticed.

As he approached the cabin, the pumpkin-eyed Italian glanced at the horse quizzically. It was loaded with bags, each secured tightly. Why? Was Alder delivering something? A lot of somethings, judging by the amount of bags on the horse.

Sebastian stepped to the door, flinching slightly when Alder stomped out. Sebastian barely managed to look him in the eye.

"Alder," he said softly, stepping into the masked wolf's path to keep his attention. "Where are you going?" He needed to know. And more importantly, he needed to know if he could go with the much taller male.
#3
[html]

The male could not forget the sacrifices that Sebastian had made, all those that he had left in order to join him. But Alder knew better then to believe that the stench of another male… that musk that had lingered in the walls of their cabin… had been anything but meant to push Alder away. He had made scarifies too, he had opened his home and his every waking moment up to the thoughts, the feelings and the emotions that Sebastian brought. In the beginning they had only been confusing and yet exciting, they had brought fluttering to his stomach and there had been the slowly growing physical tension between them. Inexperience led to hesitation but now… Alder knew he was alone in chastity; he was the only one wondering if their relationship was worth the wait. Worth the commitment.


He was there, standing beyond the door once Alder reached the threshold. The tall male stood perfectly still, stopping as if he had hit a thick brick wall. Sebastian did not look him in the eye and Alder could hardly force his eyes to grace his face. The creamy white cheeks, the bright orange hue of his gaze, the way he smiled when he looked at Alder or when he laughed at one of his silly moments… The features and the memories fueled his sadness and the feeling of betrayal rather then the anger. Alder ears fell, but he tried to stay strong and emotionless. But he was not a cold creature.


He hesitated, unable to reply right away. Alder swallowed, I’m leaving the pack lands for a few nights. he replied. Why did he even care? The question sparked the anger again, and he looked at the male’s face then. He moved passed the shorter fire-furred male to reach the horse and finish his packing. The anger buzzed inside, Don’t bring him here while I’m gone, either. The words were so easily said, in just more then a whisper, but they left his throat tight and his eyes burning.

[/html]
#4
Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his heads to one side and his hips to the other. A light frown turned his lips, his neck craned back to look at a spot on Alder's face that wasn't quite his eyes. The frown only grew bigger when the masked male spoke. What was he talking about? Why was he leaving? And who the hell was he talking about?

Sebastian stepped into Alder's path again, not letting him take more than a single step further.

"Who on earth is him?" the Italian demanded, taking a step closer to Alder. He looked up, his bright orange eyes boring directly into Alder's warm eyes. He only held his gaze for a few moments before he directed his gaze to the larger male's cheek, unable to hold his stare.

He ignored the guilt roiling in his gut. He had suspected that Alder might not take the acrobat's sleeping around well. Suspected, not known. How could he? How could it possibly cross his mind that Alder might want to wait for him? That Alder even liked him so much? Sebastian had accepted his role as Alder's greatest friend, one whom he had a solid, unbreakable bond with. Alder had not indicated he wanted the Italian's body. How could he have known? How could anyone have known?
#5
[html]

They both knew whom Alder was speaking about. Alder would never believe that Sebastian did not know whom he meant, that it did not at the very least come to his mind. Still the red male did not allow Alder to pass and reach Hawthorn. The horse made no move, somehow knowing that the two wolves had unfinished business that needed to finally come to a head. He looked up, catching the other male’s stare and holding it for as long as Sebastian was able. It was not very long, and Alder was grateful that the burning of his eyes did not swell into full-blown tears. The one who’s scent you wore for days. Hours, days, it almost felt like weeks.


He could not look at him, for when he did there was someone behind him. A faceless wolf, the only thing about him that Alder recognized was the scent that somehow weaseled it’s way into his nose. That scent. The figmant of Alder's imagination then touched Sebastian. He petted his shoulder, his fingers falling between the soft fur to hold his arm. He pressed himself again Sebastian’s back, other hand wrapping around to feel his creamy white chest and to hold the red male close against him.


To imagine Sebastian's reaction was too hurtful and he just simply couldn't bare the pain. Without moving away nor closer to the other wolf Alder felt planted to the ground I thought… He added helplessly, blue eyes still looking away.

[/html]
#6
Sebastian's claws tapped slowly against his forearm. The fur along the back of his neck raised slightly, uncomfortable with having his back to a horse, but he tolerated it. For Alder and for his own curiosity. Why was the masked man acting so strangely?

Ah. So Alder knew. Of course, he had forgotten to use the river. Stupid. And Alder was taking it so personally, his bright blue eyes shining with unspent tears. A lump formed in Sebastian's throat, one that hurt to swallow around as his gaze dropped further.

"I... I do not..." What could he say? He had suspected. Not known. He hadn't been sure. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't. Alder should have told him, should have made the first move. How could he have known?

The Italian acrobat had always been alone. Not in body, but in soul. He had not wanted to sully Alder's beautiful body by letting it lie with his own used form. The difference between them was that both Alder's body and soul were beautiful, ethereal things. Sebastian's body was beautiful to look at, but he knew that even if he had slept with a hundred men, his own fiery Italian soul could not hold a candle to the masked angel's.

"I... What did you think?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady and prevent it from lapsing into his native tongue.
#7
[html]

There was nothing for the red wolf to say. No apology came forward and he only began to speak but then Alder was left with silence. Painful silence. It drew his gaze upwards, needing to see his face and what he wore on it. Was it pain, or pitty, confusion or anger? What he thought he saw was sadness, but there were no tears, only averted eyes that made Alder feel shameful. Was Sebatian embarrassed that Alder had wanted something different, something more? He was the closest friend that Alder had ever had, and when he pictured the future his desire was to have Sebastian with him, always.


It was more then just the physical nature and the desire that Alder felt for the man. It came from their bond, from the hopes of a future that had seemingly been caught short. It was his fault. Alder felt the pressure of blame and guilt begin to rest upon him as he thought about how he should have spoke up, should have stopped Sebastian from doing what he had.


He almost expected to get an apology, a sorry I don’t think of you in that way. We’re only friends. It burned through Alder that when the question was asked it was like a rope being tossed to him after he fell overboard. Drowning, the words were forced You would choose me. His voice was not raised, but there was power behind the words. If he could raise his hand without it being a fist he would have pointed at his own chest as he spoke them. But he kept it clenched and at his side. There was something wrong with him, that was obvious. If it that was not the truth then Sebastian would have chosen him.

[/html]
#8
Sebastian was unnaturally still, even his tail kept rigidly still. If he didn't, he would just end up lashing it- and possibly his other limbs- from the force of his agitation. It was not in his nature to attack his problems head-on. His problems were usually ignored, forgotten or sidestepped. He preferred to stab his problems in the back or shoot an arrow into their throats, not face them head-on and admit his mistake.

But he would now. For Alder.

The softly whispered words were like a knife in his chest, a deep pain. He had heard the expression "heartbroken" before. He had always assumed it was a fanciful description, one intended to add drama to a tale. No, it was real. It felt as though each beat of his heart pained. The lump in his throat caused genuine pain as he swallowed, his eyes shining with unspent tears that had not been shed for years.

You would choose me.

Sebastian's ears dropped flat against his head, his arms shifting position until he looked more like he was hugging himself, trying to hold himself together rather than having his arms defensively folded over his chest. He shifted his weight back, instinct telling him to run. Did Alder truly want him?

"I did not..." Sebastian swallowed around the lump in his throat, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. "Did not think you wanted m-me. Oth-others... only wanted my body. That was the one thing you didn't seem to w-want." Alder had wanted everything else- his conversation, his laughter, his mind, his fears, his goals, his talents, his friendship. No-one else had wanted that. Only Alder.
#9
[html]

All that could move him was the day’s fall wind. It whipped past them, catching and carrying the copped mane upon his head. His thick fur, shaggy at points, was rustled yet he could not be bothered to smooth it or remove the black hair from his eyes. All he could do was watch the other male, to see what he felt as Alder spoke those words and to know from sight and sound what it was that Sebastian wanted.


There was a change in his body, and with the movement of his ears and arms Alder felt the desire to be close to him. The helplessness and insecurity that he showed brought the man the urge to reach out to him, to wrap his own arms around him so that Sebastian would not have to hold himself any longer. He would have Alder to do that for him.


Yet he still did not move, needing to hear what the red wolf had to say. Was it just shame or was there more to what Sebastian felt towards him? He spoke, and Alder waited on baited breath, catching each word and holding it so that he could examine it fully. His body? Alder had grown to desire Sebastian’s form in ways that he wasn’t able to fully understand; to see it, to have his eyes watch the curves and to touch it. But he was a coward, and his fear made him shy and looked away when he caught himself staring.


It was so much more and he looked at Sebastian with confusion, did he mean that his body was all that was of any worth? Was that what he was alluding to? Alder shook his head, his mind jumbled with thoughts and unable to control much of his reaction. Alder’s heart leapt, it screamed as loudly as the thoughts raged and the anger that he held was overwhelmed and the darkness chased away with this new potential. Raze of beaming light; because there was so much more to Sebastian and he hardly knew it. I, Alder returned, faltering and not very steady in tone. I love all of you, though. Body, mind, soul.


Alder took a step forward, uprooted from the ground beneath him. His hands released from their fists, and he extended one slightly. Paw extended, wanting to bring the other male into his arms but still unsure.

[/html]
#10
Jeezus! I am so sorry for the wait!



Sebastian felt cold. He had always been cold. He had never felt true warmth, not even in another's embrace, not even in sleep. Alder was the opposite. He was always warm and kind, a sharp contrast to the artist's barbed sarcasm and sharp tongue. Alder was unlike him. Sebastian had never truly felt at ease. He always saw attempts to bring him down, to hurt him, and had always stopped them before they came to fruition.

Alder was different. He was always good. He was good. Always trying to find the goodness in others because he had never been anything else. He even found the goodness inside the Italian, the goodness usually hidden with a sharp tongue and evasive mind.

Was it so surprising that Alder would want to make him better? He did anyway, whether he wanted to or not. He made Sebastian want to be better.

That word. Love. Not something he had ever felt himself. Lust, envy, spite. All were familiar to him. True happiness eluded him. Love was a dream. Perhaps he could not love. Perhaps what he felt for Alder was the closest he could get to love. But it didn't matter.

Sebastian stepped forward, his movements jerky and unsure. How could he be sure? Sebastian pressed himself against Alder's broad chest, his arms encircling the taller man's torso in a tight hug as he pressed the side of his face to the messy-haired male's chest.

"If you put your arms around me," he whispered, closing his eyes as tears threatened to spill over, "I am not going to let go."
#11
[html]

The red wolf step into him, and leaned against his chest. He felt the warm sensation bust from his center, trailing though his shoulder and down his hips. His head felt, nose touching the other male’s mane while his arm wrapped themselves around Sebastian. Despite the warning Alder had not hesitation. It was what he wanted and so he held the man tightly to emphasize it. He wouldn’t let go either, he wouldn’t leave him nor betray him. He no longer felt any sense of anger or jealousy, his understanding of the past and present complete. Their future looked hopeful, and he wanted to spend the rest of it with Sebastian.


I want to be yours Sebastian. He replied, confirming that he did not wish for him to let go. Ever. Alder loved him, it was a deeply seeded in his heart and mind. The truth of their confessions had told him that the feelings went beyond just a physical attraction for he and Sebatian. It was more and though he wished to show and be shown what that physical connection meant, Alder knew that there more to their pairing then that.

[/html]


Forum Jump: