Scream through dreams that cut your voice off

POSTED: Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:08 pm

It was not out of disrespect that Ezekiel spoke so, but merely frustration. His uncle was skilled, of this he had no doubt, but he lacked the depth that the boy had come to expect. Fighting him was like fighting the wolverine—it was ferocious and hostile but lacked meaning in its combat. He doubted that he would ever find someone capable of understanding what it was he sought, for so many of the old beliefs he had been taught vanished in the wilderness. Even here, the world was full of pretenders.

Silently, Ezekiel watched as his uncle spat and snarled. The boy’s eyes remained raptor-like, his ears high as he listened and tried to make sense of the babble. It occurred to him that the Hydra was not all right, despite his argument of sanity, and this brought a peculiar smile to his face. How appropriate, to find that the only living connection to the Massacre bloodline was a crazed coyote. “Fair enough,” he offered, pulling his head back. “You want me to go now?”

POSTED: Sat Apr 23, 2011 4:17 pm

Hybrid snarled when Ezekiel agreed with him. Or, at least, seemed to pretend so. Hybrid didn’t fucking like it, but he didn’t like what he was feeling right now, either. There was something wrong and he suspected it was with him. He did not like knowing he was the problem, but now that he had acknowledged it, he figured he would soon accept it. It was wrong to deny basic truths about oneself, especially if these truths would hold one back and prohibit their development. Hybrid didn’t want to stagnate and die. He wanted to live forever and bring death to his enemies. He couldn’t do that if he decayed and failed to understand who he was.

He had always understood who he was and his place in the world. His life was certain and his ways were just.

He didn’t like how Ezekiel made him question that. He didn’t like how Ezekiel questioned him.

“No,” Hybrid replied quickly. He frowned. What the fuck did he want? “I didn’t kill you,” he stated. He shook his head and then tried to explain: “when I choose to kill something or someone, I do. But something stopped me. There must be something wrong with me.” He didn’t know what it could be or why he was telling this little snot this information. He didn’t like him, but if we was going to figure out why he had not tried to murder the boy for attacking him, he would be forever confused about himself and that could not happen.

POSTED: Wed Apr 27, 2011 10:22 pm

False pretense had gotten Ezekiel through several situations without harm. He was clever, in this way, but he was also cruel. Stupidity irritated him. Egomania irritated him. So he played games with these types, pushing them along until the time came to crash their paper boat into the sea. Sometimes, though, it was easier to poke holes into paper than it was to rip the whole thing down. The smile faltered, only a little, as he tried to grasp what it was his uncle spoke of. It made little sense. This was why his first assumption, that the coyote was stupid, rose back up with each passing moment.

He had chosen not to kill, even when he had been attacked. Was that weakness? “You weren’t sure you wanted to kill me,” he tested, unwilling to admit he had read the confusion in Hybrid’s attack. “So you doubt yourself. I don’t always fight to kill,” Ezekiel went on quickly, as if unwilling to guess more on what the fight had told him. “Sometimes I just fight to fight.”

POSTED: Sat Apr 30, 2011 9:01 pm

319.

Hybrid did not like this guesswork. He did not know if Ezekiel was trying to assist him or if he had some other thought entirely. There were too many possibilities for Hybrid and he didn’t like it. His life was certain and just and that was how it had been for a long time. He had grown habitual, believing these things, and now this child had disrupted it. It did not sit well with him.

Hybrid narrowed his eyes as the boy spoke, wondering what the other coyote could be thinking. Hybrid did not know if he was one to say one thing and then think another. He just didn’t know him at all. He didn’t like this, either: the boy had come and gone so many times and now he was here disrupting things. It set Hybrid on edge.

But in the end, Ezekiel was right in some way: Hybrid had indeed been uncertain whether he wanted to kill the boy. He had hesitated, wondering why a coyote had attacked him on Inferni land. His natural biases prevented him from truly fighting. He fought to kill. He occasionally fought to improve. But he had to make a very conscious distinction between the two lest he bring death to a clanmate.

He recognized what Ezekiel was saying, but didn’t know how to reply. Sure, he fought for the sake of fighting, but he suspected they had different meanings of the word – or they just understood things differently.

This boy was not his father.

Hybrid was silent. He regarded the boy with a calculating eye, but said nothing. He knew he never had to say anything to Gabriel, but this boy was different. But he still did not know what to say.

In this loss of words, he chose to remain silent. He supposed Ezekiel could choose his own course. Hybrid just didn’t know what the child expected of him.

POSTED: Mon May 02, 2011 9:31 pm

In many ways, Hybrid was right.

Ezekiel was not Gabriel, and Ezekiel was not the person he appeared to be. His charming, counterfeit smile did not meet his hawkish eyes. His body reflected a man who had spent years fighting, and not simply fighting to kill, or for a war, or even for a reason. The thrill of battle was enough. Tasting blood on his tongue, feeling a fist or a claw strike his body, this was why he fought. Very few spoke that secret tongue, and further yet understood its true meaning.

So his uncle’s silence did not perturb the scarred coyote, who studied him with those predator’s eyes and bird’s patience. He was not like his father because his father had known war as it applied to others. His father had fought with a purpose, with a plan. His father had drawn a very clear moral line for himself.

Ezekiel hid his true nature behind smiling masks, for he found this to be almost infallible. Yet Hybrid recognize this untruth and did not wish to befriend him. The boy did not blame his uncle. He was nothing like Gabriel, nothing like this red-eyed madman. He smiled, though it did not meet his eyes, and rose to his feet in one graceful motion. “I’ll be sure to warn you next time,” he said smoothly, turning the lumbering body of his Secui form to head back the way he had come.

POSTED: Thu May 05, 2011 9:57 pm

The boy was the one to break the silence. It followed a short pause in conversation, where the boy watched him as he was watched in turn. Hybrid did not like how aware Ezekiel was -- how aware that he was being watched and how aware of what Hybrid was doing. Simply put, Hybrid did not like him. He could not pinpoint why, but there was something off about the boy.

Hybrid narrowed his eyes when Ezekiel spoke, but couldn't find an appropriate response. He thought and thought and still had nothing. So he was left watching as the other coyote left, perhaps with the upper hand because of his last word, left wondering what he could have done different. The only other option would have been Ezekiel's death and his assured exile from the clan.

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