[p] in this world it's hard to get it right

POSTED: Tue Aug 28, 2012 2:07 pm

[html]<blockquote><b>(371)</b> dated for the 28th. :3
<p>She was completely and utterly lost. She never felt like this, the only time being when she was banished from her clan when she faced a world unknown to her. It was a different situation, but the same feeling of naive confusion pulsed through her. Sure and confident was her nature. Yet she was crippled by her own conflicted emotions, and she didn't feel like herself.

<p>She had avoided Jazper since he exposed the news and the ring. After he left her room when she demanded it so was when Alyssum had started to feel <I>wrong</I>, unlike her self. It was nearly childish how she was evading him, and ultimately the reality of the truth, and Macbeth sternly pointed this out on the third day. She needed to face the facts: he had new children, and he loved her--the thought sent a rush through her. She was his Luna, the pack's Luna. She would eventually need to compromise, for Casa did not need to suffer a weak leadership because of personal squabbles. But she did not feel like talking to Jazper, at least not at that moment. She still felt herself fester within, nevertheless, and decided to take a different approach to remedy it.

<p>Paranoid, she was uncertain if she should ride her mare. She would have rather make her trip unconspicous, but on horse, it would be accomplished at a faster pace. Deciding the quicker she got back, the quicker she would return, absence perhaps unnoticed, she saddled Antebellum and rode west. It took a couple of hours of trotting and galloping to reach the Artisan border, the trek made with a silence. About a mile away from the territory, she departed from the horse and left her bow with the mare--she only brought it with her as a guise that she was hunting in case anyone saw her. The coywolf walked the rest of the way, slow as she finally gave thought to what she was doing. She felt no hesitation as she approached the scent markers, lingering a good few meters away, and no regret as she called for her. Alyssum felt no urge to leave, and stood patiently to see if she would be answered with her presence.
</blockquote>[/html]

POSTED: Tue Aug 28, 2012 6:09 pm

[html]<center><div class="box">
<p>It was with great reluctance that Skye took her pups out of Thornbury again since her meeting with Hotaru, a little ways away from the stone gray town. Now that she had pups again, the disappearance o Nathaniel was deep inside her mind, almost taunting her. She as more experienced now - older, wiser, having been through more experiences than her younger self, green with inexperience, had been. And yet she could not shake the worry that she had - that she may fail her pups as she had failed Nathaniel, the one that looked the most like his father.


<p>So it was with heightened stress and anxiety that she heard the call that sounded from the nearby borders. It was not a call of a joiner or a trader - it was the call of someone, someone that she did not recognize, calling specifically for the leader - for her. <b>”It’s time to go on a trip, little ones,”</b> she said gently to her pups - they made faint sounds in response. With a sad smile she gripped them closer to her breast, keeping them warm and safe from all who would harm them.


<p>She made her way to the borders and caught a scent of the stranger - the scent was Casa di Cavalieri. She was puzzled as to why one of them would want to speak to Skye herself, but the confusion and unknown elements of the situation was dissolved when she saw who it was. It was Alyssum - the one who Jazper had told her he loved. She did not show any outward signs of emotion, but she still thought she may know what Alyssum wanted now - if Jazper had told her of the pups that he shared with Skye, there would be no doubt that she was upset.


<p><b>”Good day,”</b> she said amiably. <b>”You are at the borders of d’Arte, Cavalieri - how may I help you?”</b> Her voice was steady, betraying none of her emotions.
</div></center>
<style>
.box {
width:500px;
text-align:justify;
}
</style>[/html]

POSTED: Tue Aug 28, 2012 6:45 pm

[html]<blockquote>
<p>Surprising, time moved like it usually did. It was not sped, nor slowed, and it was a comfortable wait, to say the least. As if on a cue, Skye appeared, holding something close to her chest. A flicker of recognition crossed the woman's face, and Alyssum half-wondered if Jazper mentioned her, whether as his new Luna or something more, when he was with her. Maybe both, she guessed. But she didn't assume--it would only lead her to jumping to conclusions, which she wanted to avoid. She was here to talk, not to accuse anyone of anything.

<p>Unknowingly glancing at the pale and dark bundles, she lifted her eyes to meet Skye's when she spoke. For a moment, she felt something stir within her, was it a vague sense of sadness and sympathy? But, before she could focus on it, she quickly pushed it out of mind as she answered the fellow leader. While she wanted to drop the pretense--Skye must've had a faint idea why she was here--she decided to not be too direct, not wanting to offend the woman. <b>"I need nothing more than your company, miss."</b>

<p>Alyssum was quiet, but that was it. No hidden emotions, no buried intentions. She sounded how she felt--diminutive, docile, and a bit defeated. She did try to be as steady and otherwise indifferent as the other was with her words, but she was too honest, and she knew this. A tragic flaw among many that she had, though she pretended otherwise. Except then. Maybe it was for the best, for her to be honest at that moment instead of being evasive.
</blockquote>[/html]

POSTED: Tue Aug 28, 2012 8:40 pm

[html]<center><div class="box">
<p>She heard as the woman requested only her company, and could hear the emotions in her voice, betraying how she truly felt. Skye herself was almost a master of hiding these emotions, allowing them to escape only when it was almost overwhelming her. So it was strange to her when this woman, someone she did not know, someone who may even consider Skye as a rival, revealed her raw emotions to her with those simple words - it was not within Skye's nature to do so.

<p>However, she did not judge the woman, or scrutinize her. Her pups wriggled and yelped a bit in her arms, and she hugged them closer to her, ensuring them that they were safe. <b>"Are you Alyssum?"</b> Skye asked softly, no animosity in her voice; she knew the answer, but wanted to hear it from the woman herself. <b>"Jazper spoke of you,"</b> she said, her voice quiet once more - betraying no emotion, but not hiding her demeanor - soft, quiet, unlike her usual self. She had felt it, ever since Jazper uttered those words, ever since her pups had been born - ever since the line of tragedies had struck the pack, one after another, leaving only Skye with healthy pups, leaving only the alpha with children unscathed.

<p>The way that the woman spoke - sad, defeated - did not escape Skye, and she relaxed her pose, stepping back to allow the woman into the d'Arte territory. <b>"Let's walk,"</b> she said amiably - there was no hostility there.
</div></center>
<style>
.box {
width:500px;
text-align:justify;
}
</style>[/html]

POSTED: Tue Aug 28, 2012 9:30 pm

[html]<blockquote>
<p>Again, she looked at the pups as they quietly cried for a moment. As soon as they were comforted by Skye, who held them closer, her touch soothing, she returned her attention back to her. Her identity was asked, but she was sure that this was only a statement needing her confirmation. <b>"Yeah,"</b> she stated. When she mentioned that Jazper spoke of her, this was no surprise, and it showed that she knew this already. But, she nodded anyway, a soft bob of her head.

<p>She knew little of Cercatori, and less of its happenings. But, even without those hardships, the situation they were in was undoubtedly pressing. Skye was moreover pressured by this, Alyssum knew. So she tried not to act hurt, to show she didn't blame the woman for what happened. She sensed nothing negative between them, and felt a little relief course through her, albeit it was small and short lived. She stepped forward as Skye invited her in, motions automatic, her words clicking a switch that made her walk without much thought. She felt a tiny shiver as she swept past the boundary, the scent overwhelming her as she went into their territory. She would have to wash in a river before returning home.

<p>She was led by the woman, and she was quiet for a moment. <b>"Jazper spoke of you as well."</b> No accusations, merely a calm statement. She looked back to the pups, and asked while observing them. <b>"They're fine?"</b> The man said they were healthy, but she wanted to make sure, to be certain.
</blockquote>[/html]

POSTED: Tue Aug 28, 2012 10:56 pm

[html]<center><div class="box">
<p>Skye nodded slowly as she affirmed that she was Jazper's love, Alyssum. How Jazper could have made love with Skye and so soon after fallen in love with another, the cream colored alpha female did not know. She could tell that it hurt Alyssum - whatever had happened, whatever had occurred between Jazper and her, had hurt her. Her demeanor, her words, her tone of voice all told Skye - these subtle cues that would go unnoticed in another creature were not missed by the canine's acute senses.
<p>They walked in silence for a while, until Alyssum's statement punctured the quiet air. She showed no surprise - she had figured that Jazper would have told the one he loved about his new litter, his new pups. How many <i>other</i> litters did he have? she thought acidly, before banishing the poisonous thought from her mind.
<p><b>"They are,"</b> she said fondly, a hint of a smile appearing on her face in the first time since she had birthed them. They already looked like their parents - one with the cream fur and red top of her mother, and the other, dark gray, resembling his father; they were so small, so helpless.. so beautiful. Skye could have looked at them, protected them, all day - but she then turned to the Cavalieri. <b>"And you?"</b> she asked. <b>"How are you, Alyssum?"</b>
</div></center>
<style>
.box {
width:500px;
text-align:justify;
}
</style>[/html]

POSTED: Wed Aug 29, 2012 12:32 am

[html]<blockquote><b>(316)</b> sorry if this post is scattered, I just stepped on a rusty nail. ; ; /tear
<p>Alyssum briefly wondered what Skye thought of all of this. If she herself felt so scorned, the woman, who bore children to a man that admitted that he loved another, must have felt terribly forsaken. Upon reflection, which she did not allow when in Casa, she realized this was part of her anger at Jazper. How dare he ask her to be his mate, when he recently had children? While for the most part, it was madness that he would do this to Skye (But, being the hypocrite she was, she <I>was</I> glad for their lack of relationship.), she also saw it as a cruel joke. Did he suspect she would be a part of his ploy? Did he promise his life to Skye as well?

<p>She stopped herself in the middle of a thought that degraded Jazper--here she was, jumping to conclusions. He would never do that, she thought, he would never do that to anybody, much less the two women. Right?

<p>Pleasantly, her thoughts were broken as Skye said they were indeed fine. She mirrored what was a formation of a smile as well upon her face. She stared at the two look-a-likes, and mused how she could never bring herself to hate them. Maybe some people would if they were in her place, but not her. Alyssum looked back at Skye, and pressed her ears against her wavy mane for a moment. <b>"Not so fine."</b> How much should she tell her? Did she know about Jazper's perposal, or did he keep that from her? Unsure where to begin, or to even begin at all, she was again quiet.

<p><b>"I... I don't know what to do."</b> There, she said it. A leader of a pack, and she didn't know what to do. What must she had sound like to her senior, she didn't know. <b>"It's just, I don't know what to say anymore. He..."</b>
</blockquote>[/html]

POSTED: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:37 am

[html]<center><div class="ooc"><b>ooc;</b> <i>ouch! D: i'm sorry to hear that!</i></div>
<div class="box">
<p>They continued to walk, the two female leaders of two great packs, in almost complete silence, and yet sharing so much in that quietness. Though little words were conveyed, they were packed with emotion, with meaning - no word was wasted in their conversation, no matter how brief and short it was.
<p>She stopped as Alyssum suddenly looked at her. Her pups were still now - sleeping, she presumed, or otherwise just peacefully still in their mother's warm arms. The words that Alyssum spoke were clear, and yet her voice was almost broken - honest, completely honest, perhaps brutally honest in her answer. She did not know.
<p><b>"I guess none of us really know,"</b> she said quietly; she was still not herself - still trapped in her mind, in her emotions, but she could tell how Alyssum was hurting inside. She had felt that way, once, long ago, when she had first met Bangle; hurt and pain, unsure of what to do next. She was a different creature, now. But she could still, perhaps, help Alyssum come to terms with what she needed to do - and with what she <i>wanted</i> to do.
<p><b>"What do <i>you want</i>? For yourself?"</b> she asked, staring intently at Alyssum. She knew that Jazper seemed to have meant it, when he said that he loved the woman standing before her - but she could not wipe from her mind that he <i>had had Skye's own pups</i>, had fallen in love so <i>quickly</i> after the fact.
</div></center>
<style>
.box {
width:500px;
text-align:justify;
}

.ooc {
width:500px;
text-align:right;
}
</style>[/html]

POSTED: Wed Aug 29, 2012 3:19 am

[html]<blockquote><b>(343)</b> I'm alright now. x3 But my sanity should be questioned: foot bleeding? Type post for 'Souls.
<p>She stopped as well as they seemed to reach the reason why she came to visit Skye. The Artisan, despite being similar in age to her, was far more expeierenced. With men, with pack duties, everything, it seemed. She was ripe, fresh to the game of life, and already the odds seemed to be slanted against her, so she thought. Skye was also in her position, though in a different approach, but she handled it with more grace than Alyssum could muster.

<p>The words she answered with proved as much. While she sought for more obvious advice, perhaps she would have to settle for that at the moment. Suddenly, questions were being directed at her, and she laid her ears against her head once more. It was hard to meet Skye's intense gaze as well, but she at least managed to without looking away often. She mulled over her reply for a minute, which was reasonable.

<p>Would saying she wanted everything to go back to normal be childish? In fact, it was; nothing would be "normal" again, but she could not help but waste moments in the day wishing that things did not turn out the way they did. The second part of the question stumped her. What did <I>she</I> want? The question was pointed. She knew that Jazper must have told her about his likeness for her. Her response was conflicted.

<p><b>"I... I don't know."</b> Stupid answer. <b>"I mean... I don't want to get in the way of what he has to do. I don't want things to get any more complicated."</b> If Skye was as sharp as she was, she could easily catch that her words were sewn with two answers. The obvious, that she wanted things to go on without her, not wanting to trouble anyone. Then... The unmentioned confession. Yes, she did love him back. But... She didn't want things to be this way, not when someone suffered in any way. Even when her heart fluttered at the thought of the man, she caged it with a guilty conscience.
</blockquote>[/html]

POSTED: Wed Aug 29, 2012 3:51 am

[html]<center><div class="ooc"><b>ooc;</b> <i>xD</i></div>
<div class="box">
<p>Alyssum was not much younger than Skye, she could tell - they were almost around the same age, in fact. And yet Skye felt as if she were older than Alyssum, who sought her help and her company - she did not know why. The accumulation of Skye's experiences - they made her more jaded, they made her more shielded, but looking at the woman now, seeing how she realized and knew that she loved Jazper, seeing how she <i>did not</i> hide her feelings, planted a small seed of doubt within Skye's mind about herself.
<p>She almost saw herself in Alyssum's gaze as the other woman flattened her ears against her head. She almost saw herself, much younger, much more innocent, and yet so much more <i>feeling</i> than she was now. So much more - alive, was that the word? Was that the flaw in Skye's life, the missing link? Would Alyssum become with time who Skye was now, starting with the small almost betrayal of Jazper?
<p>She shook her head at Alyssum as she told Skye her thoughts. <b>"No,"</b> she said, although she did not know what she was saying it in response to, at first. <b>"Don't shrink from it, don't let yourself hide it - listen to what you want. No one will get hurt from it.. I promise."</b> Jazper loved Alyssum, or that was what he told Skye - and Skye, perhaps even foolishly, believed him even then. Jazper would be happy this way - and so would the woman standing before her. Perhaps the cream d'Artisan would not be happy, but then - she was already unhappy, already hurt before. It was nothing that would change, and nothing that Alyssum had done.
</div></center>
<style>
.box {
width:500px;
text-align:justify;
}

.ooc {
width:500px;
text-align:right;
}
</style>[/html]

POSTED: Sat Sep 01, 2012 2:23 pm

[html]<blockquote>SKYE MAKES ME SAD. <\3
<p>If she had felt small before, it was nothing like she was feeling at that moment. Alyssum was open and raw, and she exposed her feelings so easily, she vaguely wondered if it was caused by a moment of weakness. She hid whatever she felt when she was at home, avoided what she couldn't yet face. But now in another land where but one knew her, in the presence of someone who understood her, she felt a surge of emotion come over her, strong and unrelenting like water.

<p>She felt something akin to shame, though not quite it--embarrassment, perhaps--as the words easily tumbled from her mouth. She hurriedly glanced away from the woman. She felt a flash of uncertainty. Who was she to push her problems on a new mother who maybe had issues herself that she shielded from her? Did she not have that much self-comtrol, to at least contain something? But before she could apologize and take back what she said, Skye spoke and the woman did not try to cut her off.

<p>She looked back at her and her ears rose in surprise at her words. They were unsuspected. Alyssum was quiet as she digested what was said. Again, she was unsure. She wanted to please everyone, especially the woman before her, yet she was being told to do what she wanted. And what she wanted would leave Skye unhappy, no matter how long or how deep. She only allowed a small margin of silence to brew before it would be spanned for too long. <b>"If... if you are sure."</b> The way she spoke almost sounded like a question. She wanted to be certain that what she said was to be taken to heart, knowing the weight they put on Skye herself.
</blockquote>[/html]

POSTED: Sat Sep 01, 2012 5:23 pm

[html]<center><div class="ooc"></div>
<div class="box">
<p>The cream leader could easily tell that Alyssum was embarrassed, perhaps ashamed - and perhaps Skye would be, too, if she were to spill her emotions out to a stranger of another land. But Skye, when she was younger, had no qualms about it - she would have spilled her emotions to share them, to lessen her own load. It wasn't a bad thing, no.. but in some eyes it could be.
<p>The Luna spoke, and Skye heard the emotions in her voice. She didn't want to hurt Skye, it was clear. But it wasn't something within her control - it wasn't anything that she did. Jazper did not want Skye, and nothing would make him love her, either. There was nothing that Alyssum could do that would bring Nathaniel back, or make Bangle return, or convince all of those who had abandoned Skye in the past that they had hurt her. It was a queer feeling, to have someone worry for Skye, worry that their actions would hurt her, for none had ever truly considered it before. And now, when someone did, Skye herself was turning them on the path that would cause her pain.. but it was for the best.
<p><b>"I am,"</b> she said with certainty that she would not have been able to muster only a few days ago. <b>"I have been hurt before.. and will be hurt again. I would not keep you or Jazper from something you both want, in your hearts."</b>
</div></center>
<style>
.box {
width:500px;
text-align:justify;
}

.ooc {
width:500px;
text-align:right;
}
</style>[/html]

POSTED: Tue Sep 11, 2012 4:29 pm

[html]<blockquote><I>merp, sorry for the wait. 8B I really love this threeead. <333</I>
<p>It was as if the gods themselves had devised this fate just to upset her, push her to her limit. She wanted everyone to happy--but in this situation, it was not possible. There wasn't a third option either. She was told that the cream woman was already hurt, and more hurt was coming with whatever decision she made. It made Alyssum upset, finding this innocent woman forsaken and troubled at every option no matter what, and aimed a curse at the Fates. They were cruel mistresses, gifting her a happiness that was ladened with guilt and shame. Every cloud with a silver lining has a dark side.

<p>Her mourn wanted to turn to frustration at the beings that made this happen, but instead she puffed out any ill emotions with a sigh. <b>"Thank you..."</b> Maybe that was why she came to the woman--maybe she was asking for her okay to make a decision, and to uproot anything that was poisonous that could stem between the alphas of the packs. That was the last thing they needed, tension between their recent allies. But, Alyssum saw this venture not as a formal gain and an assurance of positive relations between leaders, but between them as friends, people. Maybe that shouldn't be the mindset of a leader, but the coywolf took everything to heart and felt more moved by the other's situation more than she should have despite not knowing her very well.

<p><b>"What's their names?"</b> Now she sought normal conversation, something happy. The woman felt calmer that moment they talked about the pups, and the notion came to her that she did not even know their titles. She again gazed at them fondly, and with a hint of curiousity.
</blockquote>[/html]

POSTED: Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:27 pm

[html]<center><div class="ooc"></div>
<div class="box">
<p>She gave a small, sad smile to Alyssum as she gave her thanks to her. Never before, really, had she had someone come ask her if she would be alright - for her permission to do something that may hurt her. She may have imagined that she would preserve herself, for her own sake, perhaps for her pack, but she did not. Alyssum's pack needed her as well, and Skye's pack needed <i>her</i> - it would not do, she told herself, to pine away for another leader when the only one d'Arte needed was Skye herself.
<p>And she would not deny the Luna her love when he was there, and willing to have her, to love her like he would never love Skye. She still did not know how he could have had Skye's pups and then fall in love with the woman before her so quickly, but it was not her problem to wonder about. He was not hers, after all. He was Alyssum's, and Alyssum his.
<p>The subject was changed quickly, and Skye began to walk again, looking down at her new pups with love. <b>"Esmeralda,"</b> she said, touching the creamy pup with her nose, <b>"and Ares."</b> Ares gave out a small cry, reaching out with his tiny paws to grasp something out of his reach.
</div></center>
<style>
.box {
width:500px;
text-align:justify;
}

.ooc {
width:500px;
text-align:right;
}
</style>[/html]

POSTED: Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:15 pm

[html]<blockquote>
<p>When the conversation went from the dark to a lighter subject, it felt as if a heavy cloud had finally broke and the sun came back. The cloud would never disappear, but at least the light of the world would show its face every now and then. The pale and dark pups were probably the best thing to come out of that situation--two new lives, new children. Alyssum was a motherly creature, but her expeierences were limited to injured birds and a horse, and the thought of children never crossed her mind--even when she was in Montana, they had no youngsters that were considered pups.

<p>But, it was because of her lack of knowledge was she interested in the pups, a rare sight for the woman. A innocent curiosity overcame her, and she listened attentively as they were given names with indications. The pale one was Esmeralda; <I>such a pretty name</I>, she thought with a small smile. And the dusky-hued boy, Ares. The woman wondered if Skye knew that was Jazper's father's name, but she must've; Jazper was perhaps the one who had suggested it.

<p>Suddenly, the boy gave a quiet squeal, and the coywolf's heart jumped to her throat, and ears cupped forward towards the cry. But, Ares merely pawed the air, and gave no signs of distress, and Alyssum quickly calmed down, and went back to watch him. Tentatively, ready to back away if the mother disapproved, she reached out an index finger towards the paws, for the pup to take a grab at if he wanted to. Her finger brushed against a paw pad, and she gasped, surprised, <b>"He's so soft--his paw, I mean!"</b>
</blockquote>[/html]

Dead Topics

cron