[p] wake me up when september ends

POSTED: Sat Sep 08, 2012 6:29 pm

She breathed out again exponentially, and a puff of smoke escaped from her. She smiled simply as the bellow of air rose and disappeared into the frosty air that was lightly graced with the first rays of light. Alyssum actually woke up earlier than normal, but the sun was already changing it position, rising into the sky before it normally did only to fall hours before it should. Days were already becoming shorter. But, what the woman fretted over more was the sharp air that came with the changing seasons.

The Southern woman was still not accustomed nor built for the cold Canadian months, and already she was prepared for the worse to come even though it was moons away. She was bundled in warm, fur-lined clothing, and cuddled comfortably into the beaver cloak as she watched the sun rise as she sat on the courthouse's steps. A flask was held between her hands, filled with a small amount of whiskey--not enough to make her hazy minded, perhaps only a small buzz if it was drank all at once.

But, tiny sips were taken and enjoyed, and was more preoccupied by the buttercup-hued sky and the way her breathe showed in a thick mist than the achocal. Overall, it was a nice, quiet and calm dawn and the alphess was glad she could witness it.

POSTED: Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:02 pm

out of character

Moving on was harder than Adelle had ever thought it would be. Her training schedule helped a lot with this, just fighting again and again without thinking about it. The drop in the temperature hadn't occurred to Adelle yet, her own thick coat keeping her from feeling it. It wouldn't be until true cold began to thread through that she would notice. It was in the middle of a training session when she realized that the leaves were starting to change color. Fall had come.

Adelle had been too young when she'd been born to remember fall. Winter she did remember, but this change in the seasons was new to experience. She stopped, just to take in the change. It struck her then. Another milestone in her life, almost near her first year of life, and Grandpa wasn't there. He wouldn't be there for any of them. She'd known it was true, but the pain of that loss wracked her again as if it was new, a choked howl breaking through her. Turning away she headed back to the court, almost blinded with the sudden sorrow as she passed the courthouse.

POSTED: Mon Sep 10, 2012 4:35 pm

Lulled in the peace of silence aside from the occasional bird song, it was a shock to hear a sudden cry--canine, and sorrowful at that--that was instantly familiar to her. She jerked from her sit upon the steps, hand already slipping tightly around the dagger that was belted to her leg. She was prepared to run after the howl, but there was no need as Adelle rushed towards the courthouse, no apparent injuries or sign of blood on her. But Alyssum's concern did not waver she watched the girl for a moment before acting.

She shoved both the knife and flash back into their places as she walked down the steps at a quick pace, and once reaching the ground, determinedly ran to her. She did not try to mask the intense worry on her face as she caught up with Adelle, and breathily spoke, the sudden excitement making her breaths ragged and quick. "Adelle, slow down. What's wrong?" Her words were somewhat of a command and a request, caught in between. The Luna was an alpha and she wanted to know what was going on, but she was not going to force the girl to stop and talk to her if she didn't want to, and honestly did not want to upset her, not wanting to have some sort of a repeat at the funeral. But, it seemed different now than then; while at the gathering she was like some beast wronged.

Now, it was obvious she was hurting. There did not seem to be any evident hostility, and the coywolf decided to press her luck, feeling the strong urge to ease whatever was upsetting Adelle.

POSTED: Tue Sep 11, 2012 10:42 pm

out of character

Something moved beside her. Caught up in her own world Adelle almost didn't see it coming, just heavy sobs wracking her frame. Jerking her head at the sudden realization that she wasn't alone Adelle shied a little away from what was there. Recognizing the luna her steps slowed a little, trying to focus on what she was doing. It was so childish, breaking through the court making a lot of noise. Couldn't she be more mature? Shaking her head Adelle stopped, the concern clear in Aly's voice. Her tail wagged a little, trying to not let it drag her down.

Breathing heavily Adelle closed her eyes, trying to collect herself together. The changing of the trees just kept coming back to her mind. Yes, seasons came and went. She knew that things changed a lot. Adelle herself had changed. It was just so much, thinking about the years passing without her grandpa there. She had thought he'd always be there. Adelle was an adult now, she had to act like one. Shaking her head she glanced over at Aly. It's nothing... Remembering the funeral her ears flattened further back. It was painful to think about. Blinded by sorrow she'd lashed out at everything, including Alyssum. She should apologize. I'm sorry.

POSTED: Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:38 pm

(381)

Alyssum mentally sighed a breath of relief as the girl had seemed to recognize her and had begun to slow, and finally stopped. While the coywolf had some speed on her, she'd doubt she could go on running for as long as the girl could. She took her tail wagging as a good sign, and smiled in response. But, she was still intensely worried, and that showed through the way her small smile was formed, soft and full of concern.

She did not believe her a bit when she stated that nothing was up. But, the Luna decidedly did not call it out, only faintly nodding. She would found out, eventually. Whether through a wayward method, or being direct once more. Alyssum guessed the former would be the better thing to do, and was about to say something when Adelle apologize. It took the woman a moment to realize what she was sorry for, and when it came to mind, she lifted a hand and touched the girl's shoulder. "Now, honey, there isn't anythin' to be sorry about. I don't blame you, but if it makes everythin' better, it's all forgiven."

Another smile crept on her lips from the thought of the event at the funereal. "You know, that reminds me of a time." She began to sit down, and invited Adelle to take a seat besides her, but it was only a suggestion. "When I was your age--maybe younger, perhaps--I had a disagreement with my elders once, too. It was over somethin' that they did wrong, and one of them just made me so mad, I attacked him." That old coyote was the first to make the move, though, but Alyssum had attacked him back, never the less. "What I am tryin' to say here is that, I know how your emotions can rile you up and make you do somethin' you don't usually do or say. I should know."

She looked back to Adelle, and prompted calmly, "What were you feelin' when you got riled up and attacked me?" The way she spoke made it towards where the girl could easily ignore her if she did not want to talk, but it was clear that Alyssum wanted to ease the tension that had brewed between them since that day.

POSTED: Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:25 pm

Alyssum was confused by the apology at first. What could Adelle really say about it? She didn't exactly want to say what had happened out loud. The hybrid leader did figure it out luckily, Adelle's tail picking up pace again. That was good. She managed to not move away when her shoulder was touched, her body too tensed up to really react to the warm gesture. Nodding her head Adelle pushed the event away from her mind. It was good that she'd been forgiven. The act had been rather painful to acknowledge.

When she began to talk Adelle wasn't too sure what she was supposed to do. The large dog stood there for a moment fidgeting before finding a seat on the ground, not really comfortable with being close. The event sounded pretty bad to Adelle. It was a lot like what she would have done, fighting against those that disagreed with her. Not that there were many since she'd been raised right, the strict discipline she'd grown up with keeping her hot temper in check. It was only death that had forced it over the edge.

Asked what she'd been feeling Adelle leaned back. What was she supposed to say to that? Every time she looked back at Grandpa's death she felt the crushing sorrow, but that wasn't what had been at the funeral. It had been something much worse than that. She did owe Aly that much though. After attacking her she at least deserved to know why. When Grandpa died, the world ended. Her voice was quiet, not quite coming out. When everyone tried to pick up, it was wrong. So Grandpa's death was wrong too. But everyone kept trying to take him away from me. I had to fight to keep him.

POSTED: Thu Sep 27, 2012 11:18 pm

She listened as Adelle explained why she attacked. Words were caught by attentive ears, and as she listened, she picked at the words. They were quietly spoken, and Alyssum slowly digested them as they were handed to her. The girl finished her talk, and the woman allowed a moment to pass before deciding to reply.

"If your grandfather was here to see you act like this, what do you think he would say?" she asked, deciding to start off with a question. What would Adelle's guardians would think if he had to see her act like to to her packs, to see her be this aggressive. "The world never ends, Adelle. Even when the humans, the rulers of the world, died, the earth kept going without them. When we go, it won't stop and mourn for us, either." It was the harsh but honest reality. Life moves on after death.

"Everyone has to pick up at one point or another. Some are entitled to remain still for longer than others, but there is always a time to move on. The world would leave you behind, otherwise." Her words started to become gentler. "But, it doesn't mean you have to forgot him completely. There will be times when you will miss him, but it is for the better--would you rather him to have grown even older, perhaps hurt even more, than for him to be in the place he is in now?"

POSTED: Thu Oct 04, 2012 6:32 pm

out of character

Adelle's ears fell to her skull. They pinned back, the usually floppy ears tight with emotion. She knew that what she'd done had been wrong. It was why she'd apologized. It had just consumed her, and there had been no thought. Even the words that she had used to describe why she'd done what she'd done was truly inadequate to describe her feelings at the time. Adelle wasn't even sure that she remembered the full depth of what she'd thought and felt anymore, just the sorrow left. No, that was a lie. She just didn't want to remember what it had been like to be that out of control.

Shaking her head Adelle stared up at Aly. She didn't care for the fact that the world moved on without her. It didn't have that right. Adelle's head hung down as it was explained. Time had gentled the female, and she was ready to hear these words now. Neela had struck when the wound was too fresh, despite her wisdom. Now was the time that she would move on. Why did he have to get old? Why did he have to hurt? Why couldn't he be invincible like she'd thought he was?

POSTED: Mon Oct 15, 2012 12:33 am

The urge to comfort the girl beyond than just words prodded at the woman, but she remained still in her sit. While it seemed fitting to hand out hugs and touches of reassurance in a situation like this, Alyssum knew that this was a special case, and treated it with the care it was worth. But, she did move herself a little bit closer to the girl, hoping that her physical presence would sate some of her tension.

"Can you imagine living forever?" she prompted softly. "If we never grew old, if we never got hurt, what would we do with ourselves?" She allowed a moment’s pause to allow Adelle to imagine a life that never ended, whether or not her thoughts were filled with hopeful wishing or something less positive. She would not lecture the girl on her opinion of immorality, so she left her to believe what she wanted to. "I did not know your grandfather well, Adelle, I’ll be honest. But, from what I heard, he led a good, long life. Longer than a lot of canines. And, he must have gotten hurt a lot of times within his long life.

"In those years, he must have helped a lot of people, too. He had to grow old in order to do all those things." She looked back to the girl, and honestly stated, "I'm no wise woman, so don't expect me to have all the right answers to your questions. But, I am here for you, I just want you to know that."

POSTED: Sat Oct 20, 2012 5:51 pm

out of character

She was an adult, if a young one. At least Adelle thought so. She took comfort in Aly's closeness, even if she still couldn't comprehend why the world would do something so cruel. She needed her grandpa. She needed family. Asked what they would do if they lived forever Adelle stared blankly at Aly. She imagined things would simply go on as they always did, only no one would ever suffer from having someone they loved leave.

Nodding her head she sighed. There were no answers that she wanted. She just ached. She wanted to rest. Lowering her head Adelle stared at the ground. It's hard. She could be fine for days, then remember what she'd lost and have the grief wash over her as if it was still new. Would she always live like that? Or would the pain fade to a memory? She could only hope, and hold on to her memories.

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