Date: March Location: The lake by Arachnea's Revenge Time: Noon
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[/html]Since her fight with Eris and drifting through the frigid and tumultuous waters of the Bay of Fundy, Tayui had washed up near Casa di Cavalieri. She had spent the last month and a bit in the pack, though she wasn't sure how long she'd been there. For the first two weeks, she'd slipped in and out of consciousness and only the old Regner had been able to call her back with his medicine and his healing. She now sported a number of wounds, most on her head from her strange multi-formed fight, but also had a gash that cut across her throat. Since that one was at such an awkward angle, it still pained her when she spoke sometimes. She just hoped that it would not affect her too much; she enjoyed being able to howl and communicate. She was a wolf, after all, and there were certain things she knew she needed to do. Communicating and talking was one of them.
One again, she had realized that in life, one could not go at it alone. Although it had ironically taken her another solitary walk around the mirrored lake, she hoped to return to Casa di Cavalieri and try to contribute somehow to earn her keep.
Even though the wind that blew across the lake was cold, she enjoyed it and reveled in its icy touch. As a northern wolf, her coat was more than sufficient for winter days such as these and she enjoyed being able to walk on the snow with her laws paws and hide in it as if she were made of snow, too. Even now, looking out at the lake, it reflected back a white wolf that almost completely blended in with her surroundings. She smiled, revealing her black gums and yellowing teeth. She was certainly blending in. [html]
sing, sing unto me the pleasure and pain
reveal to me the reasons my love's not in vain
Word Count → 330
Vesper could feel an electric danger in the air. She knew from observation these past few late winter days that something had gone horribly wrong, and her vigilance had helped her determine the answer. There was blood on the borders, there was an absence in the Triumvirate ranks, and there was something that told her this would not be the end. She had done her best to throw herself into work, as she always did when something major was troubling her, but she did not want Wraith and Nathaniel and the other scouts to see the thoughts darkening her scarred visage. She wanted solitude, as she had come to learn was the safest; she could take care of herself.
Even the raven that had taken to following her around recognized her agitated demeanor and left her alone. Truth be told, she almost hoped that Stark’s winged shadow would fall across the snow, that she would hear his grating voice as he admonished her, but she also knew that she didn’t have the spirit in her to retort. It was perhaps for the best that she made her journey south.
She had no destination in mind, but her paws eventually carried her through the forests toward the space where the festival had been held weeks ago. It was as if the traders had never been there, other than some rough spots on the ground from the tent and fence posts. She was glad, however; too many luperci concentrated in one place made her antsy.
Sighing, the coywolf trotted in the direction of the lake, hoping that a mouthful of cold water would ease her thoughts. As she approached the bank, however, her blue eyes barely distinguished a white shape among the white landscape. A scent reached her, and her body stiffened before bolting forward along the shoreline toward the woman. “Noir!” she almost shouted, but then she remembered the lie, and a clumsy “It’s you!” came from her narrow jaws instead.
[/html]It was the sound of pattering feet against the snow that first alerted Tayui. She hadn’t thought that anyone would venture this deep into the territory, but then, she had been proven wrong before to know that her assumptions did not always hold up. It was, however, the shout that followed that served to startle her. She turned to see who was coming, but her movement was slow and languid as she did not to aggravate her injuries. As she turned her head, the wound across her neck stretched and pulled. Instead of straining herself, she instead followed the movement with her feet. After a few seconds, she was able to discern Vesper as the source of all the noise.
“Vesper,” she greeted the other with a slow wag of her tail. “Is something wrong? I’m glad to see that you’re okay. I was worried that Jaden might try something foolish.” Even though Tayui knew that she had a certain soft spot for the coyotes in Inferni, wishing to believe that they were all misunderstood rather than necessarily bloodthirsty monsters like Hybrid had been, she still had always liked Vesper for who she was. Her bias aside, she was glad to see the coyote and hoped that Vesper’s annoyance was intended for some external factor and not Tayui. [html]
sing, sing unto me the pleasure and pain
reveal to me the reasons my love's not in vain
Word Count → 205
Tayui greeted her easily, and Vesper skidded to a halt as ears swiveled forward intently to heed her words. Even as she listened, her pale blue eyes scanned the new scars adorning the older she-wolf’s head and neck. She might have sucked her breath in with sympathy, but her sympathy needed no outward display. The fact that she bore so many deep scars herself, scars enough to be seen through her patchwork pelt, would show that she had been in the same place and felt the same pain. A woman of the loner’s years needed no pity; she was strong for surviving as she did.
“Nothing’s wrong,” the coywolf murmured in answer; she would not speak any of Inferni’s secrets, even to someone she held loyalties to. She snorted at mention of the crimson-throated Ichikan, her opinion of him obvious though she’d thankfully not had to deal with him during the raid…
“What happened to you?” Vesper stared at her, remembering seeing her venture deeper into the territory before she’d been distracted by her own side-mission. She’d had to flee quickly after being discovered, and she had not spoken to any of her participating clan mates about the end result. “What happened with the others?”
[/html]Vesper surprised Tayui for a second time when she came to an abrupt stop. Tayui flinched, but then thried to smooth out her emotions. She didn’t like appearing flustered and out of control since calmness was one of the few emotions she had been trying to cultivate since her time in Jaded Shadows. It might not have been going as well as she’d liked.
Even though Vesper replied saying that everything was fine, Tayui wondered if it really was. She seemed a little off in comparison to when she’d met her last – and also smelled quite strongly of Inferni. She had noticed it during their last meeting wih Sequoia, but only now realized how strongly the scent clung to the coyote’s fur. Certainly Tayui was not too close to their borders? She didn’t want to get Jazper’s pack in trouble with Inferni.
“Eris happened to me,” she replied with a flick of her ear. “I left the main groups to find her, so I’m not sure what happened to everyone else. I haven’t dared venture anywhere near Salsola since then.” Tayui wasn't stupid and knew that now, after finally bringing the fight to Eris' doorstep, she could never return. Even though she had thought Eris would be hunting for her after she let one of the wolf's daughters die, strangely, nothing had come of it. This time, she was not so fortunate. She could never return to Drifter Bay.[html]
sing, sing unto me the pleasure and pain
reveal to me the reasons my love's not in vain
Word Count → 273
Vesper frowned at the other’s words, and the expression only deepened when the white wolf mentioned not being able to venture near Salsola. “At least you aren’t neighbors with them,” she quipped, the humor dying quickly from her voice despite the fact that she’d intended the remark to be light. She didn’t want to trivialize the other’s pain, but at least she would find it easier to evade them. The coywolf had disguised herself judiciously for the raid, but she did not want to know what would happen if a Salsolian recognized her.
“I almost saved one of the slaves, an old woman,” the young coyote murmured after a moment, “but a black she-wolf killed her—grabbed her hair and sank her teeth into her throat without any hesitation.” Disgust coated her words and wrinkled her muzzle; the creature had been an elder, no threat. It was perhaps even confusion that led her to accept Vesper’s help. “It’s only luck that I managed to escape,” she went on, “but they didn’t come after me.”
After the report, she settled down on her haunches to alleviate some of her own anxiety about this meeting. Memories of Salsola darkened her mood and did nothing to help her already-existent agitation. She sighed, inhaled, then sniffed. Her ears lifted curiously, and she met the woman’s heterochromatic gaze. “You smell of a pack.” It wasn’t as engrained as Vesper’s Infernian scent, and more concentrated with a couple of other canines, but it was still a pack smell. “Are you sheltering with one?” She wasn’t sure about Tayui’s past or whether she was the type to want to join.
[/html]Tayui chuckled quietly in agreement when Vesper mentioned neighbours. Yes, indeed – at least she wasn’t in Inferni. Tayui suspected Eris’ hatred for Kaena would serve as a reason to stay away from the clan. Moreover, even if Gabriel was no longer the Aquila, she doubted that his son would be interested in engaging another pack in war – well, she hoped. She didn’t know him at all, so she had no way of knowing what he thought about other packs. There had been no wars between Inferni and anyone else, so she could only hope for the best.
Tayui’s expression darkened when Vesper described her rescue attempt. A black she-wolf (Eris, perhaps?) had killed her on the spot. Although Tayui thought it might be Eris, it could have been anyone. They were murdering, slave-keeping, amoral, godless people. Perhaps they should have just burned the pack to the ground. Hearing Vesper relate this only made her blood boil and Tayui wished she had been able to kill Eris after all.
She was hoping to ask about the wolf, but Vesper quickly switched gears and inquired about her scent. Tayui nodded and hesitated, unsure if she should reveal too much. After all, she didn’t want to bring any harm to the new pack. Of course, Vesper was resourceful enough that she’d find out on her own, so Tayui decided to be upfront about it. The need for secrets wasn’t as pressing as it had been before and Tayui just hoped she could trust the coyote.
“Yes, with Casa di Cavalieri, to the west of here. I washed up near their borders and they’ve been helping me recover. I – I don’t know if I’ll stay though. I’m not sure how suited I am for a pack anymore,” she explained with a resigned shrug. “But I’m glad you’ve found a home for yourself. I always did like Inferni. Did you ever have the pleasure of meeting the old Aquila, Gabriel? Or his mother, Kaena? I did quite like them, though I hear Gabriel’s left…” [html]
sing, sing unto me the pleasure and pain
reveal to me the reasons my love's not in vain
Word Count → 402
Anger at injustice was an emotion that Vesper had grown used to. It had began as a spark when Oliver harassed the lower members of the coyote gang, and her response had always been radical. She’d become a murderer in the span of a few shaking seconds, and yet she had not learned her lesson. Even the threat of bringing Salsola’s rage down on her new clan did nothing to ease the hate boiling in her breast. She was not a woman of God or any other of the named and nameless deities other souls worshipped, but her sense of morals was strong. She knew what was wrong and what was right in her own eye, and she did not tolerate wrongness at such a level.
Being able to change the subject helped to cool her down, however, and she was almost able to forget the events in the north. The name of the pack was only scarcely familiar; she had noted its borders when they were newly marked. She had no idea how relations with Casa di Cavalieri would be in the future, could have no way of knowing, so she only viewed it as “just another pack” as she viewed most of those that lay in the southern regions.
“It’s good to have friends and shelter, even if it’s not permanent,” Vesper remarked as the other shrugged. She was lucky to have found a group to take her in and treat her injuries, if they had been as bad as the hybrid suspected. Her expression transformed into a slightly shy smirk as the other pointed out her own ties, and she nodded slowly.
“Inferni suits me,” she said, and it was true. She could see herself running with no other pack—other than New Dawn, in an alternate dimension where she were pure wolf and untainted by the luperci virus. She had chosen coyote, however, and she had chosen a capable clan of fang and fire. “Gabriel did leave before my time, but his son is a very capable leader. I’ve only seen Kaena from a distance, and she seems to be doing well for her age.” She quite admired the old scarred woman, even if she hadn’t spoken with the Lykoi matriarch.
“Inferni does have a lot of history,” she added, chuckling. “I don’t think I’ll ever learn it all.” But it did mean more excuses to visit Myrika.
[/html] Tayui nodded in agreement when Vesper pointed out how lucky she was to have both friends and shelter, especially friends that were willing to take care of her without demanding much in return. Although they hadn’t said anything to her about repaying her debt, she knew she’d have to find one way or another to pay them back. She hated knowing she owed them something when she owed them her life. How could she ever repay that?
Quickly, Vesper distracted Tayui by continuing their discussion of Inferni. Indeed, Vesper seemed as though she would suit Inferni. Vesper identified Gabriel’s son as a leader worth recognition, and for this, Tayui was glad. Vesper struck Tayui as fairly reasonable and she was glad to know that Inferni hadn’t died out yet. They deserved their chance at happiness, even if they had caused their share of misery. Tayui was normally one who swung more for justice than mercy, but her bias tainted her view once more.
“Yes,” Tayui conciliated. “They have a rather interesting past. I’m glad Kaena is stil well – of anyone, she would be able to tell you the most of the old Inferni in Bleeding Souls. She led a vicious band of coyotes,” Tayui said, with a rather ominous chuckle. It was odd how she found such things funny now. [html]
sing, sing unto me the pleasure and pain
reveal to me the reasons my love's not in vain
Word Count → 182
Vesper smirked as the older woman chuckled. She had felt the brunt of Inferni’s reputation through little more than dirty glares, luckily, but she only had to think of the disaster that had happened at the borders for the crooked grin to fade from her face. It infuriated her that others turned upon the coyote clan while there were worse monsters lurking just west of them, but all she could do was continue to do her work as a missionary of sorts, allowing others to form a second opinion. After all, Zalen regarded Inferni as a threat before, but Myri and Ves had changed his mind even if wariness was still healthy between the two groups.
She smiled faintly and turned her nose north. “One of her granddaughters told me a little history she’d gathered from Kaena. It amazes me how Inferni’s survived through all of the wars and changes in leadership, but I believe we will continue to survive and evolve. I like to think we don’t completely consist of vicious coyotes.” Her teeth flashed teasingly. “Some of them are cute.”
[/html] Tayui found herself grinning when Vesper said ‘one of’ Kaena’s granddaughters. Indeed, Kaena had gone through many births and many of them were honoured to call her their mother, grandmother, or whatever it might be. Tayui envied Kaena sometimes, despite her hard life, for having found peace in a place she loved. After recovering in Casa di Cavalieri, Tayui had begun to wonder where she might ever find peace. She could never venture too far near Salsola. Although they mainly kept to themselves, she wanted to keep herself safe. She knew they had spies and ears all over, so she didn’t want one of them to discover she was actually alive. As for the other packs, nothing felt like home. Now, she wasn’t a loner out of wanderlust, but out of lack of choice. Anathema had bored her and AniWaya was where Claudius resided, but he no longer needed her. He was his own wolf now. Crimson Dreams was too closely-knit for her taste, and even though she was fond of Anu, there wasn’t anyone there for her; nothing to draw her in. Shadowe Sun lay buried under the weight of Anathema and Ichika no Ho-en would smell her out as a rat in no time. Cour des Miracles offered nothing of interest to her, and like Crimson Dreams, seemed as though it had too much of an emphasis on peace and family. She would never belong there. Lastly, Cercatori d’Arte focused on trades she’d never sought; especially since her abilities ranged now too far into the occult. Of the packs surviving, Inferni was the only she’d ever liked, as a whole.
Vesper echoed these thoughts – not intentionally, but in her own way. Tayui nodded obligingly. Vesper’s words were profluent, so when she finished speaking, it took Tayui a moment to realize it.
Tayui grinned and added: “yes, of course, like you right?” Her voice was gentle and teasing and well-suited for her cheeky smile. [html]
The coywolf was near daydreaming about her clan, as it wasn’t often that she found someone who shared such pride in it—especially someone outside of the pack. She had been wary of the white-furred woman after her secrets had been exposed by her ghostly-colored sister, but it was strange now to see how much common ground there was between them. She supposed that if Tayui were coyote, she’d fit into the clan, so long as she was being honest about her unorthodox respect for it. Her mind hurt from all these conflicting opinions.
The cheeky remark caught her off guard, and her ears swiveled as if to catch an echo of her voice as her blue eyes blinked once. Her perplexed expression humorously gave way to understanding, and then she snorted and narrowed her eyes with a sideways smirk of her own.
“I’m not cute,” Vesper scolded. She turned in a circle once to showcase her scars and scruffy fur before grinning broadly. “I am ruggedly handsome,” she corrected smugly.
She then took a neat seat on the ground, tail tucked over her paws prim and proper, and looked the woman over with an appraising eye. “I’m sure you used to be cute,” she said with a light jibe at her age, and went on with more open curiosity and interest. “I know Kaena and Inferni have a lot of history, but what about you?” It was not often she asked about someone’s past so directly, as she was cautious about stepping on other’s toes, but Tayui intrigued her in a way few did. She felt it would be worth it to listen to her tale and gain something from it.
[/html]Tayui realize that Vesper hadn’t been expecting a reply like that at all. Tayui also realized that she hadn’t made a comment like that to anyone in years now. She hadn’t realized it, but it was quite possible that Haku had done more damage than she had originally thought. After speaking to Kaena about what Haku had done to her, she had closed herself off from any real emotional contact, fearing that something might happen to her, too. When Vesper regained her footing and then smiled at Tayui, she felt a great weight slide off her shoulders. Tayui grinned back in reply at Vesper’s protest, but being as old as she was, she was quite certain in her beliefs and she knew that Vesper was most definitely ‘cute.’
Tayui chuckled when Vesper claimed her handsomeness. Tayui chuckled once more when Vesper plopped herself down and then added her own assertion. Tayui shook her head in mock horror, as if she were offended at the jibe. She didn’t look that old, now did she? She’d always had such difficulty determining other canine’s ages, since they didn’t age like humans did. But she suspected there was something Vesper had picked up on that Tayui hadn’t thought about. She accepted with with a casual shrug and then replied.
“My girl, if you’re ruggedly handsome, then I’m devilishly dashing,” she replied. “I haven’t changed that much but – I’ve seen quite a bit,” she began, almost awkwardly. She wanted to ask Vesper what she wanted to know, but that would be silly. Vesper couldn’t ask since she didn’t know. So, Tayui began slowly. “This area – these packs – they’re all new. Inferni is the oldest of them all. We came from over the mountain – north – after a fire. I was a member of a pack there: Jaded Shadows. Back then, Inferni was the only coyote clan and it was either wolves or coyotes; there wasn’t much in between. I hadn’t really met any dogs or jackals or mixes like we have now. It was older, closer to the fall of the humans and we were still far more… wild. When I first arrived, there weren’t many of us who could shift – or knew how. I came from farther north, what the humans called Quebec. I left when I was about a year old and found Jaded Shadows. I lived there for three winters. During that time, I met – a number of… wolves and coyotes. That was when I met Kaena for the first time. My pack and her clan didn’t get along very well. We had a – a monster… in our ranks. His name was Salvaged Eternity and he and Kaena – I think they were enemies. But there were a lot of complicated relationships and Kaena and I agreed that when Sal was gone, our packs had no fight anymore.” She frowned as she tried to consider how to explain it all. She realized she had been focusing the story a lot on Inferni, since she had assumed that Vesper would want to know their old history. Maybe not. “Before then – before I met Kaena, I’d had a mate. Her name was Shaeniire Vanim and we couldn’t have any puppies of our own, but we adopted two of them. When Shaeniire died, it all sort of fell apart. It was very sad. I stayed in the pack and—” she frowned, trying to get her timeline in line, “A friend and I, Fatin Kali, became Alphas. You might have heard of her; she and Gabriel were good friends. After the fire, we lost one another and a few of the pack’s members found me. Another friend and I made a new pack, Shadowed Sun, where Anathema is today. It was nice, but we lost too many members when our warrior was killed. We disbanded and I left, heading south. Eventually, I found my old co-leader from Shadowed Sun and we joined AniWaya. But—not before I found another girl of mine – not mine I mean, but a young member of Shadowed Sun – about to die. A coyote—Hybrid Holocaust—he—she, no, she wanted to die and he… he just liked to spread death. I brought her to AniWaya and she eventually became one of the council, helping to lead. After I was a member for a short bit, I had a litter of puppies. My sister found us and I almost had a family again. But Haku Soul – I don’t know if you know him – he murdered one of my daughters. I left AniWaya then and joined Anathema. I needed some sort of redemption. But it wasn’t enough. I found Salsola—and Eris. She had been there that night when Haku killed my daughter—Noir. That’s—that is why I started the whole mess. Sequoia and all of it. I hated Eris so much and after living in Salsola, I had seen what they did. But I couldn’t tell if it was a personal war or not – it was, by the way – but I couldn’t do it alone. I—I’m sory I used you. I just wish—that that slave didn’t need to die for my cause. I just—” She stopped. She didn’t know what else to say. She shrugged. [html]
sing, sing unto me the pleasure and pain
reveal to me the reasons my love's not in vain
Word Count → 560 :: It's all gooood. At least it was purposeful whereas my length is mostly fluff. xD
Age had always been a tricky concept for the coywolf. She was young, very young in the grand scheme of things, little more than two years old. Perhaps it was non-luperci aging or just her mentality or even all the things she thought she’d seen, because she felt much older than that, old enough to stand as almost equal to the white-furred woman before her. But she had a nagging feeling that the moment Tayui answered that equality would drop into nothingness, and that she’d be able to tell a hell of a lot more than Vesper could dream of.
She grinned at the woman’s reply, about to agree with sincerity, but then the arctic wolf began. Her smile faded away into a frown of concentration as her large ears swiveled forward to listen.
The story of the fire was one that she’d heard from Myrika, but it was interesting to hear the history from someone who had actually lived it, to hear about the old territory that was nothing but a burned wasteland now. Her features shifted ever so slightly—curiosity at the name of Salvaged Eternity, a slow smile of thoughtfulness at the idea of adopting pups she would never bear, sharp sadness when the woman spoke of her mate’s death—and as the tale of Tayui grew longer, so did it grow darker.
The sincere but detached sympathy of one who understood pain but had never experienced it do that degree was all she could offer the woman, other than the appropriate thoughts and responses. A dead warrior before the fall of a pack, a thorn in her mind reminding her of blind Halo, and the name Hybrid Holocaust that brought to her mind the smiling faces of two young scouts.
And the tale of Haku Soul, Noir, Eris—it all finally came out into the open, and Vesper shook her head slowly, but she understood. She understood vengeance and her own struggle against it, the logical grounding that kept her from running across the continent to find her murdering father. She understood that it was not like that for Tayui, rather a sharp kick at a wound that already ached, the last straw after years of watching destruction come in its many shapes.
“Tayui,” the coywolf murmured, and hesitated as she realized she had no idea what to say. But she tried. “I forgive you; I understand.” She stood and stepped closer, not sure if the silent comfort of a body to lean on would help. “It wasn’t your fault the slave died, anyway. If we wanted to blame it on a Sequoian, it would be my fault for not moving fast enough. But it’s really Eris’ fault—and Salsola, Salsola still needs to fall. It might have been out of personal hate that it all started, but you opened my eyes to something that’s a real danger. You opened a lot of eyes. I don’t feel used at all.”
She pressed her muzzle against a snowy shoulder, her eyes half-lidded before they lifted to see her mangled ear, the scars across her striped head. She crushed the sympathetic and pointless apology on the tip of her tongue. Normally, this was where she would be telling her own story in turn—but it was so little to say, so insignificant compared to what Tayui had revealed.
[/html]Tayui shifted uncomfortably when Vesper forgave her. She wanted to rebuke her forgiveness, but she didn’t know why. She couldn’t tell if it was because she didn’t want her forgiveness or if she thought she didn’t deserve it . Whatever the reason, it felt wrong and selcouth* to hear Vesper utter such words. Tayui lowered her head slightly as she thought back to the raid and the slave that had died. She felt guilty because she didn’t even know the wolf’s name, but she was dead because of Tayui.
As Vesper spoke, she moved closer until she was suddenly quite close and had her muzzle on Tayui’s shoulder. Instead of shaking or moving away, Tayui leaned in to the touch. She felt real and alive and whole now, instead of empty and hollow like before – before when she’d told the story and before the raid against Salsola.
“Please—” she began. She barely managed to choke out that one word and her voice cracked as she spoke. “Thank you. I—my life hasn’t been all bad; it’s—I’ve had a very content life—until—recently,” she added awkwardly. “But please don’t feel bad, I—I’m just happy you—are here.”[html]
sing, sing unto me the pleasure and pain
reveal to me the reasons my love's not in vain
Word Count → 243
Some wolves lived in a stupor of depression, unforgiving toward themselves, allowing the path they walked to stay dark. Blame and grief fell hard on their shoulders and streaked their fur with grey before their time. It was something that Vesper hated to see, for all her pity, she found herself angry at such individuals. Had she been weaker, she might have still doggedly pursued Marcel for vengeance, or collapsed on herself sobbing because she woke without Juniper’s sweet scent close by. She had instead forced herself to move on, and she found herself not really caring about the past, and that had kept her from being one of those hollow creatures who wept and pitied and hated themselves at every step.
And so she was glad when Tayui pressed closer to her; the hybrid’s small body shifted accordingly so the whole of her side was against the wolf’s, lending support that transcended silly words. She was even gladder when the woman spoke wisely, even in her cracking voice insisting her life wasn’t all bad. She nodded lightly and nuzzled Tayui’s shoulder in agreement; she was here.
Vesper closed her eyes, almost like a child with her cheek pressed into a grownup’s fur. “Do you know what you’ll do next? Do you know if I can help?” She knew there was only so much that she could do, but she would not refuse Tayui if there was something within her power to do.
[/html]Tayui smiled into the touch and sighed contentedly when Vesper nuzzled her shoulder. When Vesper asked her what she would do next, she sighed a quiet, “no,” before she closed her eyes to gather her thoughts. It was only for a few seconds, but when she re-opened her eyes, she saw Vesper watching her very closely. Tayui now knew that it was this – this feeling of concern and closeness that she had been longing. She felt greedy, too, because she wanted more, but she didn’t want to push her friend, especially since Vesper was doing all she could. Tayui wasn’t sure if she could have forgiven someone for using them like that, even if it was for a just cause; sometimes, her principles confused her.
“The only pack that’s been around as long as I have has been Inferni,” she explained. “And the only one that felt like home, AniWaya, isn’t – it’s not home anymore. I—I suppose…” she began, but stopped. Crimson Dreams had always been a possibility, but it was one she had never been ready to consider. Sure, Anu was a leader there, but she couldn’t think of any other reason to join. Casa di Cavalieri had taken her in, and although she knew she would have to repay them for their kindness, she didn’t think it was a home for her. She was no warrior, no matter how much she’d pretended while in Anathema. Nothing felt right and she knew that if she were to join a pack, she would want to stay there until her death. It was this certainty that made it impossible for her to settle on anything and it was also why she would remain a loner forever.
“Just—” she began, but blushed when she thought of how it might sound. “Be there for me. It’s just nice knowing you’re there for me. I—I like that,” she explained. She felt the smile return, softly and gently, just for Vesper.[html]
sing, sing unto me the pleasure and pain
reveal to me the reasons my love's not in vain
Word Count → 306 :: snugglebuns
Nothing to be done, if she were to trust the white-furred woman’s words. And she thought that she would, just because Tayui had been around for so many years and was perhaps beyond the stage where everything was fine, everything was okay, everyone was lying through their teeth. Vesper sighed quietly, more of a deep breath than anything, enjoying the closeness of another body without anything more complicated than that.
Bicolor eyes opened to meet the hybrid’s, and for a second Ves was looking not at ruby and sapphire but at honey and sky. She had to avert her gaze quickly to keep other emotions from surfacing, although she felt as though someone had struck her in the ribs.
She listened with sympathy as the other went on, although from her own life she did not see being a loner as something to resent. It was difficult, yes, and although she would not admit it, the coywolf preferred Inferni. But only because Inferni fit; she wouldn’t enjoy pack life without feeling like she was a part of something she belonged to. And so she could understand what the arctic wolf was saying.
The older woman’s last difficult words made the Optio smile, her signature smirk slashed crooked across her scarred muzzle. “Well, you know where I live, sweetheart,” she teased lightly, nuzzling her shoulder again, resisting the urge to press her nose deeper into her coat. “It’s the least I can do,” she added, although the statement sounded funny; she didn’t truly owe the woman anything for her to return the favor.
Or maybe she did owe Tayui something. Certainly, Vesper knew a lot more about herself than she had before fighting for her ideals in Sequoia. She knew how much she hated the suffering of others, how much she would truly sacrifice to stop that.
[/html]She felt Vesper lean into her and Tayui smiled softly in reply. She didn’t think that Vesper would be able to see her smiling, which made it alright. She didn’t know what she felt or why she felt it, and perhaps, Vesper felt the same way too. She felt the tremor of movement as Vesper sighed and then suddenly, Vesper was looking into her eyes, but quickly averted her gaze. Tayui saw a flash of emotion as Vesper looked away, but she couldn’t understand its meaning. Although she was usually quite good at reading others, her skills only extended so far and it seemed as though they were having a secondary conversation of sighs and body language.
She felt Vesper shift again and then saw her smirk. Tayui laughed quietly in reply when Vesper pointed out that Tayui knew where she lived. Tayui felt as though she was laughing through her tears with a bittersweet smile, but she wasn’t even crying. She wondered if she would feel any better if she cried or if she broke down because she didn’t think she could handle all of the emotions welling up inside of her. She was so relieved to be alive, but she didn’t know where she would go and her heart ached terribly. No matter how many crimes she committed, it wouldn’t bring her daughter back.
Vesper added to her comment and then nuzzled Tayui’s shoulder and Tayui almost started to cry then and there. She didn’t deserve any of this, least of all Vesper’s friendship. She was a horrible wolf who had attacked another without the least provocation. She had hurt that black wolf and liked it because she had known she could do something vicious. She had hurt Eris and wanted to hurt her more. But most of all, she hurt because she knew she would never belong anywhere more than she belonged here. She had no home, but she had a friend she did not deserve. She had molded herself into a monster and then demanded justice, but found redemption instead.
“You—don’t owe me anything,” she replied quietly. She felt a familiar streak of viciousness flare up in her chest and all she wanted was for someone to hurt. But most of all, she wanted to hurt because she knew she deserved it.[html]
sing, sing unto me the pleasure and pain
reveal to me the reasons my love's not in vain
Word Count → 226
Vesper knew a lost argument when she saw one. The scent of the loner filled her nose and her lungs, her dappled chest swelling softly, and she said nothing for a while. Her thoughts raced in the background, pulling up old emotions then stuffing them back into the cracks with old memories. She’d felt like a monster once, too, when Juniper looked at her for that last time. But that had been her fault, and Ves knew she wasn’t a killer now. She hadn’t taken a life since Oliver and wouldn’t ever again if she could help it. She’d recognized that she was at fault but taught herself that she didn’t deserve to hate herself for the rest of her days because of one incident.
She hoped Tayui understood that—and understood that it would take more than a botched rescue mission for Vesper to resent her, especially now.
“You know, you taught me something,” the coywolf whispered, abandoning the fight. “You taught me what I want to fight for. I was never like that… I always looked out for myself and no one else. But I feel like I can have a purpose now.” She grinned cheekily, stretching up to lick her ear. “So maybe we’re even, at least? And I can be your friend and help you because I want to be your friend.”
