Post length: 635. " Hello everyone!"

Shadow slowly stood from a slumber that was no dream but a nightmare. He growled and tears left him and he bared his fangs at nothing and no one but at the same time everything. He pained and he was dying within. His one and only love that he had ever given his heart to was gone and the litter of pups that she had birthed were gone as well for they had died when they should have been brought into a world with two loving parents. Shadow was an assassin and a killer who had learned to have a heart and here he was, crying and in more pain then any bite, dagger whip or anything physical could ever do to him. At that moment Shadow could be attacked by every member of his pack and he would die but it wouldn't hurt, for physical pain was nothing compared to the mental and heart ache that he felt at this moment.

Shadow looking around with tears in his eyes and he was moving slowly and without strength or meaning behind his actions. He was broken, After so long of fighting and keeping Insomnia and helping others and taking stress after stress and hit after hit, it had finally happened. The once unbreakable knight of good had been broken and there was not enough glue or tap in the world to put him back together. Shadow whined and limped as if hurt and his ears were back and his tail dragging on the floor. At this moment it looked as though Shadow would die not from a glorious battle but a broken heart and soul. He was in so much pain and he could see far enough ahead to know that after this pain would come Anger.....so much anger.

"Insomnia why.....Why did you have to leave....Why....Why Gods did you have to not only take her from me but my Pups as Well!!!!!"

Shadow Howled loudly those words and then slumped as he growled deeply and gave more weak sounding whines as he fell to his side and just laid there in pain and anguish. He had his pack but his true meaning to his life...his love and a family were gone. he had nothing to live for...all that seemed now was that he would lay here until he died, he would not eat, he would not move, he would just waist away...for how could one expect to live when so much has been taken.

There was also the matter of his entire pack going out to hunt a friend of his that he had known and helped through plenty of hard times, he had helped her when she was heart and no matter what she threw at him in terms of insults or threats or even when she fought him he still was her friend. Amy the assassin who had fallen so far would be killed by the very pack he was in and he would not be able to help her or save her or stop his pack or anything. All of this just further proved that not only was he broken but he was also helpless and unable to really help anyone...It was all a lie, his mother should have not told him to hold onto his heart, he should have just been a killer like his father wanted and be like Amy, maybe then he would be killed and he wouldn't have to feel all these painful things within.

Shadow shook his head no, no he couldn't be heartless, he had already let to many in and now he was stuck with this pain, just like he was stuck in a pack, alone with out a mate or pups and soon...without another friend.

Shadow had his eyes closed and the moment he was touched he opened his eyes quickly and gave a little growl. He had for some reason hoped it was Insomnia or his dead pups welcoming him from a bad dream but no, it was his brother Tharin. Shadow looked ahead and away from all things and almost didn't know why Tharin was there in the first place but then he recalled his howl of pain and he looked to his brother. His eyes studied him and he could see the worry but he also saw the hate there for his friend and he looked away again and said nothing for a while until finally he knew what he needed to say."Tharin....go, I'm fine....just let me waist away, then i can rest easy and in peace and maybe I'll see my family in up above, then again maybe I'll see another face down below in the ground."

Shadow tail was un-moving and for being such a large wolf you would never expect to see him like this but he was out of will. He looked to his brother and he showed him the mark on his chest as he laid there slowly dying by all definitions of the word. "You see this mark, right here in my chest, you want to know what it is....It's a symbol meaning Insomnia and I wanted it placed over my heart because i knew that i would never lose her. I was fool and I was wrong..."

He dropped his head and closed his eyes as he growled lightly and thought about everything that had happened in his worthless life. He hurt Thana, made her think he loved her, which he did and then he left. He fell for Amy and would have helped her and he did but not enough and now the one he had fought for for so long left and he lost his pups as well. Death seemed like a welcome, blissful change to all the pain he was filling, he would do it too, if he had the will to move.

Shadow didn't want to hear about another mate and Tharin's words on if he stayed alive then he could see them was foolish but he knew his brother was only trying to help. Shadow looked to his brother keeping his body on the dirt and he would only move his eyes, this place looked as good as any to die he supposed. He took in a long breath and then closed his eyes as he said nothing for a while trying to get his head straight before he answered Tharin and perhaps said something mean. Shadow wanted to die yes but there was still a part of him that wanted to be friendly to his pack and family even if they were not his family by blood."Thank you brother for trying to cheer me up and help me but I have nothing to live for, I have looked around and I see now that life is fleeting and without anything of true worth and nothing lasts. I was told to hold onto my heart and let it guide me, funny...seems my heart has only ever brought me more pain and heart ache, perhaps my heart isn't the best at finding it's way around this hellish world."

Shadow looked up and finally he sat up and looked his brother in the eyes."You wanna know something interesting...I am so good at fighting and hunting and tracking, probably better than are own Epsilon Augustus because since birth I was trained to be a killer and to hunt my prey to the ends of the world if I had to. I was trained to not feel pain and to live as a weapon, not a wolf. My father wanted me to be the best killer ever, and I am very good at it but, do you think it is possible for a killer to have a heart. The answer to that my brother would be no, or if a killer does have one then it is black and wounded and beyond repair. The wolf that are pack is now hunting...I don't hate her because I know that she is what she was made to be....She was pushed and forced to see her way of thinking as right and I pity her while you all hate her. You all see her as a demon and I agree but don't blame her...Blame the demons that made her, blame the ones like my father or her family, blame the one who started it all and made the rest follow thinking it right."

Shadow looked away and had nothing more to say since he had basically gotten it all out of his system for now, he still wanted an end to his pain and he hated that his pack was hunting someone who he called friend but he wasn't to worried about what he told Tharin because it was very likely that what Shadow said would just confuse him more than anything and in a way Tharin had helped Shadow because he was able to speak his mind and maybe perhaps a little of his heart as well.