Critic Please!
#1
NOTE: THIS IS WRITTEN AS IF HE'S AN ADULT!
Okay, So I'm sorting out my new character Mathias. I've just regististered him and need to build him up and then wait for the SA to say yes. Here we go:

Mathias Venturi is a tall, but thin Coy-Dog-wolf. His height reaches 7.9 foot (When fully grown at least), covering his body is a pelt made up of golds and yellows, sadled by dustings of grey and black. His eyes burn he brightest orange. He looks like Coyote but with a wolf-dog size.

His lineage is Timber Wolf, Nothern Coyote, Californian Coyote, Shiloh Shepard, St. Bernard, Irish Wolfhound, Husky, Anatolian Shepherd, Akita, Kuvasz, Caucasian Mountain Dog. He is decended from a group of dogs that were kept by some dude who wanted to one-up everybody and make the biggest dog breed ever! This is what makes Mathias so tall, but he gained the coyote figure. His father passed on the dog genes while his mother passed on the wolf and coyote. Overall he is about 25% coyote, 25% wolf and 50% dog. Both his parent were Luperci Ortus.

He is a weirdo and will put anything in his mouth. Booze, Drug, ECT.

His voice- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKFd_Dj5TIw

His birthdate is July 8th 2010. He has two brothers, Christian and Adriel, both in the same litter as him. They we're the first borns and only ones as far as their concerned. All three we're born to Loners living in human apartments in California. They were not mates but hung around together on a regular basis. Their names were Katy March and Sulivan Shear.

In his spare time you'll find him either snowboarding (actually sledging, but he titles is boarding to impress people), climbing, something along that lines, but usually the first and the latter. He is skilled at carving and despite his age is more than good enough to craft any wares. He can read basic things and paints/draws well. He is an adaquit fighter, using a simple hidden knife mechanism on his right arm, which he bought from an Italian gent somewhere on the coast. His sled is a crappy home make thing, so is his skateboard. Mathias is also skilled at art, yet is quite serective about his drawings.

His personality is the laidback Californian sterotype, being a child he is usually oblivious to danger and that gets him into trouble. He can be serious, and cruel, when angry he tends to switch into the type of boy who pulls the wings off of butterflys. He is studious and will do what he is told if ordered by someone he respects. He'll use being in the adult ranks to his advantage, but also the fact he's under a year old. He gets very jealous if he is not the centre of attention. He will probably always be a whiney man child.

His history is an crappy one. He along with his two brothers, were doted on by their parents. Until one day at 6 months old they picked them up and chucked them out of the door, with a simple goodbye. It turns out that they were to make their own way in life from that day on. The brothers were undecided between each other about where to go, so Adriel ventured off to Mexico and Christian left for Hawaii. Mathias wandered about for a bit, before deciding on Canada, his father's country.

Changes-

He shall venture to inferni and he will gain many negative views on wolves. And will probably try and lie and say he has no wolf blood when he actually does. He will also try and latch onto another member for support.
#2
He seems good! Smile but a few things I don't know about. Tongue the SA should check up on them.
The hidden-knife mechanism? I don't know about that. It seems too... mechanic (?) to be in North America. It seems it'd be more of an Italian thing, truth be told.
I also don't know about snowboarding or surfing. The surfing I can see as being much more realistic than the snowboarding because without the lifts/proper gear snowboarding is a total bitch. :\ just saying.
Also, how old is he? Birthdate? I'm assuming that he's Luperci -- but is he Ortus?

other than those things, I think he's really good. Smile I'd have a thread with him if I get my pending character.
#3
*tackles!*

I made my agustment! Thanking you!
#4
Quote:In his spare time you'll find him either snowboarding, climbing, surfing, something along that lines, but usually the first and the latter. He is skilled at carving and despite his age is more than good enough to craft any wares. He can read basic things and paints/draws well. His music skills are good as well, being able to drum and play guiter and piano. He is an adaquit fighter, using a simple hidden knife mechanism on his right arm, which he bought from an Italian gent somewhere on the coast. His snowboarding gear is made up of carefully self made acessories. The board is a shaped peice of wood with footholds made of leather belts, he does not use a helmet.
Remember to keep it realistic. Luperci cannot shift until they are six months old, which means when you bring him in he has had his optime form for around two months (if you still plan to go for 8 months, that is) and it is not very likely that he would be able to master even half of the many abilities you have listed here, to be honest. Instead of adding a long list of abilities when you bring him in, how about having him learn some skills after having arrived in Nova Scotia?
#5
He's not like, a master at these, just kinda good. He can snowboard alright, he can go down a small slope at least. His climbing is like that of any childs, he's like a monkey and he learnt to surf (badly) in Lupus form, then easily learnt in optime. Also this is written as if he's an adult, it's listing things adult him can do. Sorry for the confusion XD
#6
Rose: I already said that I really don't think that he would be able to snowboard. :/ without the proper equipment, the liklihood of him getting killed is really high. Even though he's not up very high on the slopes, I think it would be very dangerous for a young luperci on their own. Plus without the lifts, it'd be mostly trudging up the hill then going down. Like a slide that's really short but somehow has a really long ladder.
#7
fine, i see your point. I changed it to sledging. but he calls it snowboarding to impress people.
#8
This is one of those things where you could easily play out his proficiency, though. Why does his profile have to be written from the POV of an adult? :3 If he's a child, it should be written more like, "He's learning how to ..." or "He's gaining skills in ..." and "... but as he's young, he still has a lot of room to go!" and then you could actually roleplay your character learning whatever skills it is they're trying to learn. :3
#9
These are just my goals for him, at the moment. They may change over time, cause I'm very in desicive.
#10
Hey Rose! Werewolves can't snowboard, surf, or skateboard. Smile
#11
It's not the wat we do it. It's adapted and they can't do tricks they can only go straight.
#12
Unfortunately, for this sort of situation, since logically, Luperci would not be able to use human-made snowboards, you're going to have to do at least a little bit of research to present your case and seek an exception.

It isn't enough to say that "oh, it's adapted." How has it been adapted? What modifications were made to make the board plausible for Luperci use? Is the board made of a different material? Is it a different shape? Consider that adult Lupercis weigh much, much more than the average human snowboarder. What design changes would help this fact? Did your character make these modifications himself? If not, who did? And if yes, how did he learn to make these modifications? Was it trial and error? Did someone teach him? These are the sorts of questions you're going to have to be able to answer before it will be allowed.
#13
It also might be important to note that there aren't many roads in 'Souls, so there would be only a few places to practice and as far as travelling via skateboard it might not be super effective...
#14
He used to live in Cali where the area he lived in had pretty good roads. The reason I didn't put the actual mods is because I'm still working them out. (Maths is not my strong point, neither is Tech so I may need help:|)
#15
Without regular maintenance, modern roads wouldn't but a few years before they would be too cracked and overgrown for skate boarding, and we are talking over 20 years since any road has seen maintenance. Although on 'Flying Alaska' on the discovery channel they had a guy skateboarding on gravel by being pulled behind a dirt bike. Though it had HUGE treaded tires rather than your standard skateboarding wheels and custom trucks as well for the clearance I'm sure. So some form of skateboard would be plausible, if he had someone gullible enough to pull him everywhere, though finding the specific parts needed for off road skate boarding would be extremely difficult since they are specialty parts as well as replacement parts, bearings especially. Without climate controlled conditions they wouldn't last long. Also all the boards available to you would be about 20+ years old. Just changes in temperature and humidity levels would be hard on all things wooden once the climate controlled environments these things are typical stored in is lost.

Although I think it would be very hard to control a skate/snow/surf board with bi-pedal digitigrade feet. Try riding a skate board on nothing but your tippy toes and tell me how its goes ^^ Without the length of a human foot to distribute weight across the width of the board your feet would have to shift a lot on the board increasing the difficulty.

Digitigrade feet is another reason snowboards would need a LOT of modification because of the foot holds. Also, snowboards/skis have to be waxed regularly to reduce the friction between the board and snow. Although I suppose Animal fat would be an easy substitution. Sledging seems much more logical.
#16
*nods* I will erase the sporting stuff, maths is being rubbish as well. He's more arty and vocal now Smile


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