He had no idea where to begin. In a sense that there was no beginning to the events that had occurred in the last few months, Saul Stormbringer was at a loss as to how he would explain his situation. He supposed, if he really thought hard about it, his life had gone wrong well before he’d even been born. The animosity, and often outright hatred of the Stormbringer and Dawnrunner packs had eventually resulted in the death of his mother and the abandonment of his father. The responsibility of the Stormbringer pups had fallen on Bris’s shoulders, but even that couldn’t last long. Unable to keep it together and hold all four pups in the same place at the same time, they were scattered across the lands like autumn leaves across a lake- soggy and floating, just managing to stay afloat until they drifted back together again. The male remembered, very succinctly, their coming of age party, where it had been the four of them together for the first time since they had arrived in Dahlia de Mai. The broken and throbbing hole in Saul’s chest stung horribly when he thought of those moments, the pure joy he’d felt from having all four of them together. It was all he ever wanted from the world, and it was also an impossible feat to replicate. No matter how hard he tried, his brothers and sister had other ideas. Eclipse had been born not long after that, but Conor and Bris were never designed to be parents together. Conor ended up dead and while Saul was mostly certain Bris was still alive, he had no clue as to where she was or what had become of her. History had repeated itself in an almost exact replica for Eclipse, although her mother was still alive and it had been her father who had been brutally murdered by a blood relative. The only difference really was that Eclipse was on her own- she didn’t have three other siblings to share her burden.


Perhaps Saul could blame his situation on Siku. If she hadn’t come along, he never would have known love, or that kind of pain, in fact. She had waltzed into his life, a fast friend and an easy relationship. But it was never enough for her, to follow him to their new home and be happy. She left him more times than he cared to count. She refused to stay where he was, in the exact same way as his wayward siblings. The foundations for disaster were already laid, it was just enough to throw a small hammer at the base and watch the house crumble down. Gideon and Nayru fell apart and it took his dark furred brother less than a week to disappear. Shiloh never really emerged from the room he had given her and he assumed she had taken her leave with Lewis when she got the chance. Ascher hadn’t made his way home after the snowstorm and Saul was trying hard to tell himself that his chocolate coloured brother was alive. And then Siku had left him again. Well, he wouldn’t be having this again. His family were gone, with the exception of Melee, Range and Wretch who were all adopted into the family. Eclipse had gone not long after Gideon and Saul could feel the aching hole in his heart beginning to tear and shake apart. They were his power, his glorious attitude to life came straight from his family. And with them gone, he was a shell. He had to go and find them, to make them see that they belonged here, with him.


In hindsight, he should have known that it wouldn’t go as easy as he’d imagined it. He’d taken Hermes, leaving the pregnant Maia and too young Arete behind. They would be well cared for until he returned. He fully intended to return to Ichika with his family in tack. He could not have been more wrong. Of course, he never would have guessed the events of the last few months, he never would have imagined the situation he now faced. Green eyes, so much more weary than he’d ever imagined, fixed upon the flower and stoned border that was so familiar to him. He wasn’t standing the right way though- he was on the outside looking into what had once been his whole life. The perspective was very different from the outside. A tender glance was passed down to the bundle of fur cradled in the crook of his left arm before he pulled a lung full of air down, releasing the howl that had been building deep in his gut as he’d contemplated what had happened to his life. He was home.

The near silent squeal from the bundle in his arms was picked up immediately and Saul shifted the furs that surrounded his son to reveal his beautiful face. He could feel the overwhelming love filling his whole body as he stood there, waiting for someone to allow him access to his home. Temeraire was only a few weeks old and he had been away from his mother for less that two days. But he was hungry, he was tired and Saul knew that he needed to find someone to suckle him. His first thoughts had been Jace, who had given birth just after he'd left to find his family. She would be finishing her lactating period very soon, but there might be some hope there. Sighing softly, deft cream fingers brushed his sons downy fur away from his face before covering him back up with the fur. It was cold and this was really no place for a newborn pup.


Green eyes snapped back towards Ichika as a summoning howl, clearly in return to his own, echoed through the mountains. She wished for him to come to her? Well, that was just fine by him. Glancing back to make sure Hermes was still behind him, Saul gave a cursory click to indicate that the horse should follow. He'd been unable to ride Hermes with Temeraire in tow so the stallion had been happy enough to walk behind him. He could sense that they would be returning home soon and the young stallion had been excitable since Imari had caught up to them. Saul thought back briefly to those moments, just 36 hours before. His name, called through a weak voice. He'd glanced back and seen her, so weak and frail, he body curved around a bundle of dark fur.


He pushed the memory away for the moment- it would not do well for him to daydream through his return to the lands he loved. With confident strides, he stepped over the flower-and-stone border and into his home. It took him less time that he would have thought to move over the grassy hills and through the trees. Teme had fallen asleep once more with the lull of his fathers pawsteps and Saul was happier to pull back the fur covering his body to keep an eye on him. He could smell a change in the air, he thought he might have been able to catch a whiff of blood as well. Confusion set his features as he moved towards the source of the sound.


He didnt know what he was expecting to find, but as he neared the source of the howl, and therefore Nayru, he could feel a familiar anxiety building in his stomach.Unlike his strange meeting with Gideon weeks ago, where he'd been in total shock for most of it, he walked into this awkward situation willingly. The small party moved into sight of the white and black patched leader; Saul tightened his arm unconsciously around his son as he came to a stop. "I'm sorry Nayru..." He murmured, an apologetic look across his face.

It wasn't until then that Saul noted the near identical pose the two old friends shared. One arm cradled protectively around a bundle of furs that had begun to wriggle and squirm as another blast of cold air blew past them. Green eyes met cherry red as he tried to put dates together. The child in Nayru's arms was clearly hers- whilst Saul knew she liked pups, she would never have been holding another pup in this way. And he clearly understood that it was not Gideon's. At the same time, her own eyes dropped to the dark bundle in his own arms and Saul offered a sheepish smile. It was rather ironic, the situation the two now found themselves in. Her gentle voice, sounding weak to his own ears, told him that there was no need for him to be sorry. He perhaps might have protested before, but he allowed her the words with a simple inclination of his head.


He could hear the gentle, but growing louder, squall of the little female in her arms. He was burning with curiosity about how this had happened, how this little life had been created as it was clearly burning through Nayru. Instead of speaking once more, she shuffled forward, her arms outstretched in a silent offering to take his son from him. He didn't think twice as he shifted his son in his arms in time for her to deftly scoop him away. As soon as Teme was gone, Saul felt the absence of his slight weight against his arms. But his leader was moving towards the earthen den she appeared to have settled in. For the moment, he thought of Cerne Rise, but settled for asking her about it later.


He was mildly surprised to catch the strong scent of Saluce around the den. So his adopted father had returned. And another female, who didn't register in his mind. So many questions bounced around in his head as he watched Nayru squeeze into the den. He would clearly have to shift to get in, unlike Nayru. He glanced back towards Hermes, patting his nose softly. With soft, quiet words he tried to tell Hermes that he was home now, and that he was free to wander on his own. As if he understood, the stallion butted his head forward into Saul's chest before walking away, With a calming breath, Saul pulled his bones back together, making sure to lean forward so that he landed on his paws at the right time.


Even then, it was a bit of a squeeze to get into the den. Brushing the sides, Saul made his way inward. He could hear his sons plaintive wails- he hadn't had any food in a day and a half. He would be completely starving. Moving swiftly into the larger inner area, Saul caught sight of Nayru once more, her daughter and his son in her arms. "Thank you Nayru." He stated simply, moving to sit down across from the Jiryu. He had no idea what to say, but he allowed the happiness that he had found home to fill him for the moment at least.

The little female in Nayru's arms quietened as they entered the den, lulled into sleep it seemed by a full belly and her mothers comforting arms. His son, on the other hand, was beginning to squeak with much more consistence. It was a relief, first of all, that his son had such a strong voice. He was neither sick nor weak and while it was vital he get some food into his son soon, Saul was a little less concerned that he would fall into illness. The stand off between the two of them was not uncomfortable- the two of them stared at each other for a long moment, both trying to figure out what was happening and who was going to break the silence first. It was Nayru it seemed as she shifted her own daughter in her arms, placing her gently on the floor close to Saul. Saul dipped his head down, black nose pressing against the girls fur once before Nayru spoke. Kahlo. He looked up, puzzled, as Nayru offered her last name. So Razekiel was the father?


"'Razekiel?" He commented, before casting a gaze at his own son. "His name is Temeraire Stormbringer." He said, his tone softening at the thought of his pup. He was unexpected, perhaps even unwanted, but holding the boy in his arms had cemented his overwhelming love for the new life. He would not have set him down against Nayru's body unless he thought that she was the best thing for him. And she was, that much was evident. Nayru continued to speak and Saul allowed his head to nod softly down. She had her reasons for leaving and he respected that. "I understand Nayru... But have you heard or seen anything of Melee and Range?" He asked, shuddering at the thought of Gideon's departure and the effect it must have had on his children.


Thoughts of Melee and Range were pushed from his head as his own son began nudging against Nayru. Saul looked towards his ruby eyed leader, puzzled. Perhaps she didnt want to just start feeding his son without his permission. As if to confirm, she stated that he was hungry. He nodded softly. "He hasn't fed in about thirty six hours. His mum left him with me- she won't be coming back. I know its a lot to ask, Nayru, but he needs you. More than he needs me at the moment." He stated, his voice touching on pleading. He desperately hoped that Nayru would be able to help them out of this situation. "She told me she knew she wouldn't be a good mother and gave him to me." He said, thinking back to only a few hours ago when Imari had caught up to him, looking haggard and exhausted. "It wasn't Siku..." He managed to whisper softly. Although Imari's intervention, and ultimate seduction, had helped him forget about Siku, that kind of heartbreak wasn't going to go away easily. He could however, concentrate on getting over her now that he knew she wasn't coming back.


"How long has Saluce been back?" He murmured, wondering by how much he'd missed his adopted father. And this X'yrin woman, whom shared this den. Saul thought back, so long ago, to Saluce and Layla and the disaster that had been their mateship. He hoped, for Saluce's sake, that this X'yrin woman was nothing like the black and white Dahlian. Wondering when they would be back, and therefore how long he and Nayru had to talk, Saul gave a soft sigh. "I found Gideon out there... He's not coming back any time soon." He offered, voice soft and filled with hurt. He hated that there was nothing he could do about this predicament.

Saul could feel the pain in this conversation as if it were a slice to his wrist, or a punch in the gut. There was a certain bittersweet taste in the air- Saul's relief and happiness at being back in Ichika, with his son safe and feeding, and his joy at seeing Nayru again. Whilst the relationship that had officially tied Nayru to him as 'sister-in-law' had disintegrated, Saul would never consider her anything less than his sister. And now they were both in the same situation- with pups that had not stemmed from the relationships they had been in that they should have, both facing single parenthood alone. In that way, the two would never be alone in their situations. The bitterness came from the family he'd lost, his loved ones scattered across the lands. If there was one thing he'd learnt from this experience, it was the fact that he could not control his families lives.


Nayru did not reply to his one worded question on whether Razekiel was the father or not, but her silence was enough to tell him that this was the case. So they'd had sex on Samhain then? It kind of fitted nicely with Raze and Nayru, but Saul refrained from commenting. It was her life and he couldn't exactly say that Teme had been born out of a loving relationship. In fact, up until a day and a half ago, Saul was blissfully unaware that he even had a child. Their situations were so similar it was bordering on the eerie side of things. Of course, thoughts like these were interupted as Nayru recounted the last times she'd seen Melee. So she was still here, roaming around somewhere. He would find her soon and make it up to her. "I'll find them soon and make sure they're okay." He murmured softly as his son began to suckle. She might be a bit embarressed, but Saul understood that this was just natural.


With a soft stutter, she offered him a way through this. Yes, please. He whispered softly, nodding gently. It was such a strange request, asking someone else to raise his child. But he had no other option and he couldnt think of a better person to do it. It would mean that Saul would pretty much have to move in with her, and he was more than fine with that. Perhaps Saluce would allow him to stay here for a while before they found somewhere else to live. Saul wasnt entirely sure that he could return to Cerne Rise. He didnt want to think about that for the moment however and he pushed it away.


He was bought from his reverie by Nayru's answering his question. So it was as he thought- Saluce had returned just days after he'd left. I'm sorry I missed him... He offered, although Nayru was not the one to whom he should be offering his apologies. His next words clearly caused pain within his leader and he immediately felt bad for it. But it was out there now and there wasnt much he could do about it. She took it gracefully before turning back to the last bit of their conversation, to which the male was grateful. "I'm glad they took you in Nayru... I miss him. I guess I'll see him soon though... He spoke softly, glancing around the room and wondering when the grey male would appear. And what on earth he was meant to say to him.

Saul knew this was never going to be a loud and particularly excitable conversation. All the questions building in his head were beginning to dissipate and the young male was beginning to feel the drag on his body. He still had relatively precious cargo strapped to his faithful steed and while Saul was certain Hermes' body warmth would keep certain objects warm enough to be kept alive. Saul wasn't certain that the egg he'd found had anything living in it, but there was a chance that there could be a bird in there and Saul had scooped the hard shell up, just in case. Whether it would hatch or not was surely touch and go for the poor egg and Saul had strapped it quickly to Hermes' side in an attempt to keep it warm. He would need to check it soon, but for now, his quiet conversation with his leader.


It seemed neither of them had anything left to add to the various threads of conversation they'd struck up. Saul understood a lot of this reluctance- there was a great deal of unnecessary pain in those subjects and Saul had already had enough to last him a life time. He was home now and he was surely going to start living his life how he wanted to. There was a great deal to learn from this experience and he knew that he had to spend some time sorting out the feelings within his own body. He needed to fully get over Siku and he knew that was going to take a while. He needed to learn to let go of the control he felt he needed over his siblings- they would come and go as they pleased and there was little he could do to stop any of them. And then he needed to come to terms with the love and responsibility for his son.


The last remaining two lapsed into their own thought bubbles for a good few moments and Saul allowed his green gaze to wander down to Nayru's sleeping daughter. With gentle movements, he manoeuvred her sleeping form into the crook of his front leg, a soft lick to her back. They could look after each other, these two that had been left behind to pick up the pieces. Her soft voice bought him back and he glanced up unto cherry red eyes. "Okay... Until we find somewhere with a little more space perhaps?" He suggested, knowing that neither of them would be able to return to Cerne Rise for a while. It would remind him far too much of his family and he wasn't ready to surrond himself with these memories just yet. Cocking his head gently to the side, he awaited her response.

While it was clear that the young male had never been a father, he'd always had a strong paternal sense. Being the eldest of four, he'd always felt responsible for his siblings and the need to look after them had always been strong. The natural motion of curling Nayru's daughter up in his arm was something that he hadn't thought too much about- it was more an instinct to protect the weak and vulnerable. It was clear to him that her daughter was just over a week old, while Temeraire was approaching three weeks old, but the small age difference wouldnt matter. While Temeraire would be released from the den sooner than Kahlo, Saul was certain that it wouldnt matter to either pup. The gentle silence that had encapsulated both of them was a comfort to him- it reassured him that he didnt need to fill the silences with Nayru.


Nayru considered his previous words before her delicate voice confirmed the plans. It would take a little while to sort out a place to live, but Saul would take on that responsibility. Green eyes were intent on the little boy in Nayru's arms, his own blue eyes drooping before a yawn opened his mouth wide. Saul gave a soft smile, before looking back up towards Nayru. "I'll have a look around tomorrow and see if there's anywhere suitable around here to start digging." He said softly, his tongue lapping out to run over his muzzle softly. He knew he had a few things more to do tonight before he would be able to rest and go to sleep. Stretching his body out behind him, Saul shuffled softly before gently lifting Kahlo and placing her into near Nayru once more.


"I've got a couple of things to sort out with Hermes and then I'll be back. Thank you again Nayru." He spoke sincerely, leaning forward to place a kiss on his sons head before moving back in the cramped space. He knew without a doubt that he was going to be building their own den a little bigger than this. He thought perhaps of digging into the side of a hill- it would give them more room to breath at least. He moved out of the den, shaking away the small amount of dirt accumulated on his fur as he'd exited the den. He moved away from the den, enjoying the feel of the air on his face. His heart lifted and he could feel the beginnings of a smile tugging at his lips.


-exit saul-