Rail Against the Heavens - Printable Version +- 'Souls IPB Archive (November 2007–October 2012) (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb) +-- Forum: Dead IC (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=110) +--- Forum: Dead Topics (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +--- Thread: Rail Against the Heavens (/showthread.php?tid=5763) |
- Colibri Haki - 04-21-2009 [html]
Words: 300+
[/html] - Haven Aatte - 04-21-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> The building she walks into is Haven's bar. I've decided. XD It was just another day in inebriated stupor for the Aatte youth. Surprisingly he had had two visitors already in his self-imposed exile. The first male he hadn't known. What was his name again? Started with a V...bah, it was gone. Little surprise. If the alcohol could make him forget all his pains then surely it made you forget other things as well. Then Heath had come into the decrepit bar as well. He had been surprised to learn that the older hybrid's father was the same as his own. Rapist and a murderer. How fuckin' lovely. Haven was presently passed out on his cot, fingers loosely held a bottle of vodka. This time he wasn't dreaming about his father (which was somewhat of a blessing). It wasn't much better though. The beautiful white coyote, his friend, plagued his mind. He shouldn't have done what he did to her. He should have asked before he had just gone and kissed her. The way she had ran away from him without a single word. What if he really was like his father. What if that was just the first step? The kid whimpered in his sleep. He didn't want to hurt her, never meant to hurt her... At the sound of someone entering the building he shot up, his hand clenching the bottle. Jade eyes were wide, a kind of panicked light in them. "W-Who's there...?" he stammered. He was becoming paranoid, especially when he was sobering up. Though he was usually quick to remedy that condition. - Colibri Haki - 04-22-2009 [html]
OoC: That does make things convenient! =D
[/html] - Haven Aatte - 04-22-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Hehe, yeah. Poor sad pandas, looking like their rapist dads XD 300+ It was hard to see at first. All there was was a shadow in the doorway. The light burned his eyes. He hadn't left the bar since he had found it and decided it was his refuge. Jade eyes closed and he rubbed them. Bi-colored ears twitched as he heard whoever was there take a few steps further inside. He opened his eyes again, blinking rapidly to adjust and be able to see the other. From the voice it was clearly a female. Whoever she was, she sounded as nervous as he just had. Finally he was able to distinguish her and he saw her outstretched hands. His ears flicked back against his head. It was the first time he had been around a girl since the news had shattered his world. While he had the ability to be angry at the males that had invaded his space, he couldn't be angry at a female. Especially not one as timid as her. "It's...it's okay. You can rest here." His gaze took on that far away look it got often times these days. "Though I don't know why you'd want to..." He was the son of a monster and this place was a shit hole. No place or company for a lady. To calm his nerves Haven brought the vodka bottle to his lips and took a long drink. He coughed a little afterwords, wiping off his mouth. As used to it as he was, sometimes the burn still made him cough. The boy watched her kneel and feel one of the empty bottles on the floor. Hopefully she saw where the broken ones were and wouldn't cut herself. When he got himself really intoxicated he tended to get incredibly angry and would smash the bottles having nothing else to do with his rage. "Do you...want some?" he said, motioning to his bottle. If she did he would go get her something from behind the bar. It was only polite to offer. Even in his broken state of being he still remembered at least some of his manners. - Colibri Haki - 04-23-2009 [html]
OoC: Aww... pandas are cute... :>
[/html] - Haven Aatte - 04-23-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> yesh, they is 300+ As he looked at her there was something he noticed. The same kind of pain that he felt echoed through her as well. It was like what he had seen in Heath. Except where the anger and hate and rang true with the male, all his pain and isolation is what he saw in this lady. He felt all of those emotions and was constantly teetering between them. When he wasn't numb he was furious. Usually it had something to do with the amount of alcohol in his system, but not always. Sometimes he would sob into his bottle instead of smashing it. There was no rhyme or reason to it. Just like there seemed to be no rhyme or reason to his life anymore. "It's no problem." If she thought she looked unkempt then he was a trainwreck. Well, he was a trainwreck. He certainly looked the part as well, though. He already lean body had grown even thinner. He had barely eaten and was almost turning into a skeleton. He had to fasten a belt around his jean shorts just to keep them up. His luscious white mane lacked all of its shine. His entire coat was lacking the luster it had once held. With a grunt he got to his feet, his one hand still clutching the vodka bottle. "I'm Haven Aatte." Or at least his ghost. "Nice to meet you Colibri." Haven almost laughed as she addressed him as sir. Almost. A small half grin, half grimace was formed by his lips though. "You don't need to call me sir. I don't deserve it." Once upon a time maybe, he had, but not now. He had always hoped to be a sir with a capital s, but knights didn't have rapist fathers. Knights came from good families. The youth stumbled behind the bar and set his own bottle on top of it. He leaned down searching for something a female would want to drink. All the hard liquor would surely not be to her taste. Luckily he found one bottle that was more elegant than the rest. He stood back up and handed it to her. "If you don't like that I'll try and find something else." - Colibri Haki - 04-24-2009 [html] Words: 300+
[/html] - Haven Aatte - 04-26-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> 300+ He doubted that it was nice to meet him. He was a mess and he reeked of alcohol. He didn't have the energy or the will to take care of himself anymore though. Even if he didn't have the guts or the will to end his life he was drinking and starving himself into a coward's grave. Maybe that was all he deserved in the end. Still, he offered her a weak smile. She was nice. Even if he felt she was better company than the likes of him deserved he wasn't going to turn her away. Haven had always been social and even though he wanted to protect people from what could be lurking inside of him he missed the contact. Missed being around others. That might have been killing him quicker than anything. "Not everyone." Even if he did indeed fall into the category of those that deserved it, there were definitely those who did not. Like his father. He was a monster. The only thing that man deserved were a pair of fangs ripping his throat out. If only he had the guts to do so himself. Still, would that make him the same? A killer? It made the boy's stomach turn. The last thing he wanted to be was his father but he felt it was something he would be unable to ever run away from. Though her next words rang true. That was one of the reasons he had locked himself up in here. Then people wouldn't know what he had become. Colibri seemed to be satisfied with what he had picked out for her. At least he hadn't failed at that. The Aatte youth pulled up a barstool and sat down. Once he had a few more drinks in him he wouldn't be able to trust his legs to keep him upright anymore. He swilled down some more of the vodka and inhaled sharply. He felt his muscles relax and the all familiar burn take residence in his stomach. "Yeah? How'd you end up in a place like this?" It was obvious that he didn't mean the bar. - Colibri Haki - 05-07-2009 [html] Words: 549
[/html] - Haven Aatte - 05-07-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> 300+ "Well, thanks." At least he wasn't as bad of a wretch as he often thought himself nowadays. Or maybe it was that he was still at least part of himself in the presence of women. Maybe it was just men that brought out his angry and mistrust. He supposed that made sense. It was his father that had caused him to feel this way. His father that had done those awful things to his mother. Males could be such bastards. That also could have been the root of some of his self loathing. He himself was a male. He had done horrible things like his father had, but he didn't know how much was stopping him from crossing that line. That was what scared him. His eyes focused on her as she began to speak in bitter tones. It was all he could do from keep his jaw from falling to hit the bar. If he hadn't known better (or hadn't been as sober) he would have thought he was talking to himself. The things she were saying sounded like the exact things that he said and that ran through his mind. As she continued and said that about her father it was unbelievable. His whole reality had crashed around him that one day. All of it had to do with his father. What the man had done, how Haven had inherited his looks, how sick the boy felt to his stomach whenever he thought about it, the nightmares, everything. Coughing he tried to distract from the look of disbelief on his face. "Actually yeah...it's a lot like that." He took another swallow of vodka to help steel his nerves before going off about his shit. "I found out the other day that my dad raped my mom. Everyone had always told me something was wrong with him, but that didn't prepare me for when I finally found out what. It's bad enough finding out that I'm the son of a rapist and murderer, but top it off I got his looks. I mean, look at me! Not exactly many wolves running around who look like this! There's no mistaking who I belong to." The boy's eyes bore into the bar. "I hate it. I hate him. I hate myself. I bet every time my mom sees me she thinks of him and what he did to her. I've been hurting her all these months and I didn't even know it..." - Colibri Haki - 05-08-2009 [html] Words: 358
[/html] - Haven Aatte - 05-08-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> 300+ Sad eyes looked to her as she revealed that she also looked like her awful sire. What had they done to deserve such a fate? Haven had never hurt anyone either. Didn't have a mean or cruel bone anywhere in his body. Now he wasn't so sure though. Was that kind of trait passed on through one's children? Was the ability to do those kinds of things some latent trait laying inside him, waiting for the chance to show itself? How much of his mother was in him compared to how much he had of his father? If his looks were any indication then he worried about those odds. That's why had had run away, locked himself up in this sorry excuse for a place to live. He couldn't risk hurting them. Or anyone. At her admission his bi-colored ears flattened against his skull and he stared at her, wide-eyed and jaw dropped. "To you? He did that to you?" Oh gods... "Colibri I...I'm so sorry. I mean, I just...I'm so sorry..." He had done those horrible things to his own daughter? What kind of sick perverted fuck was this guy? In comparison his situation didn't seem quite as bad. He almost felt guilty for wallowing in such a way compared to what she had had to endure. Quickly he averted his eyes, realizing he had been staring at her. Oh great job Haven, I'm sure that being stared at makes her feel real good. What was wrong with males? He had never heard of a female ever being so cruel. Maybe it was a defect in their sex. Maybe they were all depraved pieces of garbage. "Yeah...she gave me everything. She and my other mom. They were mates but...they broke up..." That still stung too. Suddenly he wondered if that were somehow his fault as well. He wouldn't be surprised. Those last words made him frown sadly. "I dreamed of being a knight once. Not anymore though..." Knights were better people than he was. He was weak and pathetic and tainted. Haven didn't know that he and his siblings had actually been conceived before his mother had been raped. Thought whether that fact would have made him feel better or worse was hard to say. "Yeah, but who would want children with me? I mean, you deserve to have someone that treats you right, you did nothing wrong. But me? What if I'm capable of those things too? I can't risk hurting someone that way..." As much as it hurt, he had basically resigned himself to a life of solitude to protect everyone else from what he could become. - Colibri Haki - 05-11-2009 [html] Words: 431
[/html] - Haven Aatte - 05-12-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Haha, thanks for adding the M tag. I'm not used to my threads having so much cussing (though considering how much I curse IRL, I think is funny) XD 300+ Haven took Colibri's clues and dropped the subject of what her father had done to her. He could understand. If something like that had happened to him he wouldn't want to talk about it either. The boy couldn't even imagine what that had done to her. How much that must have broken her. Parents were the ones you were supposed to be able to trust no matter what and her dad had violated that beyond any hope of reconciliation. Suddenly the images of his two sisters flashed before his mind and he thought of their father doing such things to them. He had to push that out of his head quickly though as his stomach had begun to reel at the idea. He looked back up at her, and a different sort of look was on her face. Her eyes searched him, almost hopefully. What had brought on this change? His eyes glanced down at her hand as it laid against one of his arms. Bi-colored ears perked at the name of his non-biological mother. "She's my mom. Not by blood, but she helped raise me. She's as much my mom as my true mother as far as I'm concerned. Why?" Obviously Coli knew Anu, or had at least heard of her. He wondered what the connection between them was. The Aatte youth looked back to the brown and cream girl, listening as she spoke and made her feelings on the situation known. Her words were comforting, but still he worried. Yes, he knew what was wrong and what was right and he would always do his best not to be like his father, but would that be enough? Could he control himself all through his actions? Or was there some latent quality in his genes that could come on and turn him into a monster as well? Was he just some ticking bomb waiting to go off? That was what worried him and made him lock himself away. He didn't know if this was something he could control and overcome just by force of will or if it was inescapable. "I hope you're right. I hope that's the case. I just worried that it's something that I can't control. Something that he gave to me, something that will just come up out of nowhere and no matter how good a person I've tried to be it will all be undone at some point. I want to think that I can avoid it by my own actions, but I don't know if that's the case or not..." The hybrid gripped his bottle hard, but he didn't take another drink. At least not yet. His mind was a torrent of all the questions that had been running through his head since he had found out the truth. The sound of them all was almost maddening. - Colibri Haki - 05-13-2009 [html]
OoC: Ah! almost every thread I read has mature language, so it's hardly necessary to tag them anymore... I just thought I'd play by the rules. ;P
[/html] - Haven Aatte - 05-14-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> 300+ Even through his drunken haze he could sense he sudden nervousness. It was different from the other nerves she had displayed though. He wondered what it was. While he was able to sense them he didn't have the capacity to think through why. If he had been sober it would have been easy for him to see, but not now. Though his ears did twitch when she said that she needed Anu. Coli had quickly corrected her statement so he was willing to overlook it. It might have just been the drinks. "She's not hard to find. Just go to Crimson Dreams and call for her, I'm sure she'd come." She was one of the leaders now beside Savina and his other mother. Though suddenly a panic shot through him. "B-but don't...don't tell her I'm here. She...I d-don't want her to know." He didn't want her to know how far he had fallen. She would be so disappointed in him. It appeared that she had the same fears as he did about herself. It was an easy thing to worry about for people like them. People in these circumstances. While he had no idea who Haku Soul was he couldn't imagine she would ever rape or murder anyone. She seemed so sweet and delicate. Like she could break like glass if she fell over too hard. Plus she was female. She was blessed to be one of the gentler sex. He was doomed with being the same sex as his bastard father. The thought of him snapping and trying to do those horrible things to anyone made his stomach lurch. He would rather kill himself before letting that happen. When she asked if he liked anyone, if possible, his jade eyes became even more shadowed. His fingers clenched his bottle. While he had been feeling better about what had occurred between him and Siobhan, when he had found out what his father had done he had felt lower than low about it all. "Yes..." he said sadly. He had kissed her. Kissed her without her permission and she had ran away from him. Was that the first step to doing what Conri had done to his mother? "I did something I shouldn't have. I...I k-kissed her, but I didn't ask. And she ran away." He was somehow glad she had though. What if he hadn't been able to stop himself? What if he had tried to force himself on her in other ways? He buried his face against his arm in shame. - Colibri Haki - 05-15-2009 [html] WC: 485
[/html] - Haven Aatte - 05-18-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Sorry for the wait D: crazy weekend 300+ He could tell that his words had somehow put her deep in thought. He wondered what was going on behind those sorrowful blue eyes, but he didn't ask. Not long ago he might have, always curious and asking questions. But now he knew that there were some things that were best left unsaid. Thoughts and memories that were best left in the dark. Places where people didn't want others prying. If she wanted to talk about it, then she would, but he would not ask. This whole thing had been a strong lesson in privacy to the boy. Before he had barely understood the concept, but now he understood it well. Perhaps too well. After all, that was what he was clinging to now. Privacy in his self-imposed exile. "Thank you..." He couldn't stand the thought of his family knowing what had become of him. Haven hadn't expected her to touch him, but as he felt her fingers in his snowy mane it was a comfort. It had been so long since he had felt such a gentle and reassuring touch. It made him miss his old life even more, if that were possible. The ache for it was so strong and yet he denied himself the thought of it vehemently. He wouldn't let himself return, the risk was too great. "Y-yes, I guess she is." It was strange, ever since that day he had barely given any thought to how her running away had hurt his feelings. The only thing he had been worried about were her feelings and if he had ruined their friendship. Sure, it had hurt to be rejected in that way, but that had only been at the back of his mind. "It's...not my feelings I was worried about, it's her's. I don't want to hurt her..." Siobhan had had enough pain in her life. He wanted to be the one to make it happy, not sad or scared. "No...not yet at least. I...I think I could though." Haven had strong feelings for his coyote friend, but he knew they were not as strong as love. The youth knew that such an emotion took time to develop and grow. There was no doubt that with time he could love her, he just didn't know if she would give him the chance. Now he didn't even think he really deserved that chance. - Colibri Haki - 06-03-2009 [html]
WC: 349
[/html] - Haven Aatte - 06-04-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> That's ok! We had that Haven/Jac thread and pack stuff, I understand ^^ I can't fade to black :3 The way Colibri was explaining things made him feel better. The thought of having caused Siobhan any distress greatly upset him. He knew what a cruel life she had lead up to coming to live here and the last thing he wanted was to add to her bad experiences. Her mother had been cruel to her, hurt her, both emotionally and physically. She had never been shown any affection or love before coming here. He had been the first one to lick her when they were still both only pups. "Maybe that's it...I hope it is. She deserves to have someone love her and treat her right. That's all I've wanted to do..." While those months of her life that were so crucial to be cared for could never be made up, if he could show her kindness the rest of her life maybe it would help. She deserved to be happy. Even if she didn't want him in her life in that way, he would still do all he could to make her glad. Haven managed to give the older girl a small, weak smile. "Thanks...I hope you do too. Find someone to be with that is." He wasn't holding out much hope for himself, but there was no reason that she need be pessimistic about her future. She was beautiful and kind hearted. Obviously intelligent. What else could a guy want. If someone didn't want her because of what her father had done then they were fools who didn't deserve someone like her in the first place. Colibri would find someone, she had to. The two talked for a while longer about things but soon the need to sleep overtook them both. Haven let her sleep on the cot while he curled up on the floor. |