Subterranean Homesick Blues - Printable Version +- 'Souls IPB Archive (November 2007–October 2012) (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb) +-- Forum: Dead IC (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=110) +--- Forum: Dead Topics (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +--- Thread: Subterranean Homesick Blues (/showthread.php?tid=6092) |
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- Haven Aatte - 05-18-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Backdated to May 16. Thinking we can make this kind of quick and then have a thread with Anu telling him he's not coming back to CD? The Aatte male had shacked himself up in the dirty dive bar again. While he had become more adventurous and actually left the place from time to time now, he always returned. It was where his belongings were and it was where he had an endless supply of his opiate. Besides, if no one had found him here yet he doubted that anyone would. Well, at least no one he knew had found him here. Besides Heath, but he knew the hybrid with a similar background wasn't going around yapping about his location. Strangers he could handle, it was his family and friends that he didn't want to find him. Haven had drank fairly heavily that day and was currently passed out on his cot, empty bottles scattered around on the floor. As usual his sleep was haunted by nightmares. The devilish face of his father plagued his mind. The boy was running from the man but with each step he thought he took away it seemed that it somehow brought him closer to the beast. His sire's maniacal laughter filled his head. It surrounded him and there was no escape. Suddenly his path was blocked by flame and when he turned to retreat Conri was staring him right the face. No escape. No escape, no escape, no escape. He whined in his sleep and his body twitched involuntarily, imprisoned by his nightmare. - Mati Church - 05-18-2009 [html] quickies!!
- Haven Aatte - 05-18-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> The fires raged around him and he felt the heat scorching his skin. The one armed man grabbed his wrist, twisting Haven's arm. He closed his eyes and tried to pull himself away from the madman's grasp but each time he pulled back flames licked at his heels. Follow me, my son, there's no use fighting it. The words echoed through his ears, seeping into his mind and wrapping around it like a deadly python. No. No, no, no, no, no. His hands balled into fists and he continued to try and yank himself from the man's hand. Suddenly he succeeded but he fell back and was engulfed by the fire. That's when he felt the shaking and heard an all too familiar voice. No, it couldn't be her. But his jade eyes snapped open and he saw his brown sister kneeling there before him. A frightened look entered his gaze. No, no how did she find him? He didn't want her to see him this way. He didn't want her to know. That knowledge had ruined him, put him where he was. The color seemed to drain from his face. "M-Mati..." he said in a hushed voice. He didn't know what to say or do, he was frozen with shame and fear. - Mati Church - 05-18-2009 [html]
- Haven Aatte - 05-18-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> As he looked at his dear sister every feeling of guilt at leaving his family behind without a word rose up in his chest. He had only done it to try and protect them but still it hadn't been right. He knew how worried they must have been about him, especially Mati. He had been trying to spare them any pain but maybe he had only made things worse. Tears welled up unbidden in his eyes. As she placed her hand on his arm the hot tears ran freely down his face. "Mati...I'm so sorry..." I never meant to hurt you. Once again he had failed at being her protector. Once again he had let her down. "It's our father...it's so much worse than I thought..." The fear of becoming his sire had crippled him. He was terrified of resembling the man in more than just looks. Haven didn't know if he could bring himself to say anymore. He didn't want what had happened to him to happen to her. All he wanted was for her to be safe and happy and if he told her the truth then it could ruin her world just as it had his. "He did horrible things Mati, horrible. You saw...you saw how I look like him...what if I could do those things too." He could feel his hands shaking and his pulse increase. - Mati Church - 05-19-2009 [html]
- Haven Aatte - 05-20-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> He could see her confusion and fear clear as day in her lavender orbs. He wasn't the brother she had known, not anymore. He had been broken and he hated for her to see him this way. Haven had always wanted to be strong for her. Now he couldn't even be strong for himself. Her saying that he didn't need to be sorry almost made things worse. He did need to be sorry. "It's not okay. I s-shouldn't have done that to you all...I shouldn't have just disappeared..." It was then that a startling revelation hit him. He needed to leave Crimson Dreams. The boy didn't want to, but he had to. He was a mess and he needed to figure things out. He wasn't the boy that they remembered anymore. Though he didn't say that to her. Not yet. That would come later. His heart was breaking, knowing what he had to do. Staying in his beloved home was no longer an option for him. The Aatte male shook his head, looking away from her. "You don't want to know Mati. I wish I didn't..." Maybe living in ignorance was wrong, but he was happier before he had known. While his mother's no longer being mates had been a rough blow, it had been something he could get over. It was the knowledge of what their sire had done that had made everything come tumbling down about him. "How do I know though? I can make all the good choices in the world, but what if it's in my blood? One if I could just snap one day and hurt someone? I couldn't live with that..." If he had known that his father had been a perfectly normal wolf before he had attacked his mother those fears would have been even further cemented into his mind. At seeing her own eyes fill with tears he pressed his hands to his face. "Mati...I don't want to live like this!" he said sobbing. "I just wish I knew! I can't risk hurting your or our moms or Brooklyn. I can't!" Yet being separated from them had been suffocating his heart. He was staying away to protect them but it had been hurting himself the whole time. Though he would always put their safety before his own. He couldn't live any other way. - Mati Church - 05-20-2009 [html]
- Haven Aatte - 05-20-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> He let his sister put her arms around him and he instinctively returned the gesture. He had missed her so much. Even though he had only done it keep her safe being without her was awful. They had always been there for one another. All he had ever wanted to be was her shining knight, the one to drive away the monsters and the nightmares. Now he was consumed by the very things he had tried to protect her from. You won't Haven. Those words had come from others, but he was more able to believe them coming from her lips. She was his sister, his best friend. If anyone knew him, it was Mati. Still...she didn't know what he knew. When she asked for him to tell her he hesitated. Look what that knowledge had done to him. He didn't want the same fate to befall her. Even if he couldn't go on living his life didn't mean she couldn't. Ignorance had been bliss. But at the same time, didn't she have a right to know? That blood flowed in her veins as much as his'. Would telling her better prepare her against things? Haven didn't know the best road to take, but she was holding out a hand for him to grasp and he needed that desperately. "He raped her...he raped mom..." It was out now, there was no taking it back. - Mati Church - 05-21-2009 [html]
- Haven Aatte - 05-22-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> He was amazed at how well she took the news. He sensed some panic in her for a moment, but it was nothing compared to what had happened to him. The world had started to spin around him and he couldn't focus on anything. Hell, he had actually gotten physically sick. How could she take it so calmly? Was it because she was a girl? Because she looked nothing like their father? Or was it because she had his broken being clinging to her like a life raft? Admittedly he was glad that she had handled it all better than he had. He just wished he knew what the difference was. The boy knew better than to ask though. That wouldn't help either of them any. At her words he only held her tighter. Haven hoped she was right. With every fiber of his being he hoped that were true. He would never do it willingly or in his right mind, that was certain. He just hoped he would never fully slip out of his right mind. The image of their snowy mother flashed before his eyes and he had to concentrate on keeping his stomach from lurching. Even though some part of him knew that she loved him, he knew how hard it must be for her to look at him. Her son that resembled her attacker almost to a T. That was one of the reasons he knew he couldn't go back. He didn't want to cause her anymore unnecessary pain. "I can't go back Mati..." The words came out as a whisper, and even that took all the effort he could muster. She wouldn't understand, he knew she wouldn't, how could she? Even he didn't understand fully. "It's not that I don't need your help, I do...I just...can't..." His life was a royal mess and he needed to sort that out. He couldn't do it on his own, no, but he couldn't do it in Crimson Dreams either. - Mati Church - 05-23-2009 [html]
- Haven Aatte - 05-24-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> The wait after he had spoken was almost excruciating. He had no idea how she was going to react, but he doubted it would be good. She would have every reason to be upset, to not understand. He didn't want to do this, he didn't want to hurt her. But there was no escaping it. This was the only way. He didn't know why, he just knew that it was. As she pulled away from him he almost whined, but was able to contain it. Immediately he missed her warmth and the comfort of her embrace. Her words hit him in the stomach like a mallet and he winced. "Mati..." What could he say? What could he possibly say? He didn't want to push her away, he needed her, but what could he do? The thing was that he didn't want to leave. It was one of the last things he would ever or could ever want. But the boy knew that he had to. He was less than half of what he used to be and while he needed help, it was something he needed to do away from Crimson Dreams. He had to rebuild himself and for whatever reason he knew that that couldn't really be accomplished at home. He might end up leaning too much on his family, using them as a crutch. He wouldn't do that to them. That wouldn't help anyone. "I'm not...leaving you..." He was, but only in one sense. Just because he wasn't going home didn't mean he was leaving never to return. He would stay here, just not live there. "I'm not going away...I'll still be in these lands...I still want to see you..." Hesitantly one hand reached out for her weeping form. Haven wanted her to understand. - Mati Church - 05-24-2009 [html]
- Haven Aatte - 05-24-2009 [html] http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/ ... ntable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> It hurt. It hurt so much seeing her like this. Knowing that he had made her feel this way. He never wanted to be the source of her pain. Never. But he couldn't help this. Somehow he knew this was for the best. But if it was, why did it hurt so much? Why did it have to hurt her so much? The silence was almost worse than her cold, hard words. His sense of self loathing had once again descended heavily over him. He had made his sister cry. He had hurt her, he had exposed the awful truth of their father to her. He was supposed to protect her, not do these sorts of things. What the hell had he become? For a split second, hope entered him. Hope that she understood and everything was going to be alright. But soon that left him like a shadow as she stood up and left the bar without another word. His face turned downward even further. What had he done? Where was she going? Unsteadily he got to his feet and went to follow her. "Mati?" he called out, his voice a whine. He burst through the door, but as soon as he had he stumbled and fell flat on his face. The pain of his fall was completely forgotten in his panic. "Mati!" Jade eyes looked around, worried. She was already gone. Defeated he got back to his feet and went back inside the bar. The crippling self loathing quickly turned to anger and hatred towards himself. A fire flared in his eyes and with a roar he slammed his fist into the brick wall. Limply his fist pulled away, knuckles broken and bloody. What a bastard he was. |