"Useless Sele, useless." She muttered the words out to herself as she made another mark upon her own flesh and immediately washed it away. This sparse moments by herself seemed to be the only time that she didn't have to pretend that everything was okay. She didn't have to put on that smile and act like all was right in the world when it wasn't. Her older son was gone and she couldn't imagine that her daughter would stay around too much longer. Her younger son had started to drift away too as he didn't always want his mother around for his games. She was losing everyone that she had clung to. Even Nani, her sister had her own litter mate back and didn't really need her around anymore. She hadn't even seen the wolves that she had met that wished to seek acceptance to the pack around. Had she scared them off?
"Stupid Sele, so stupid." Tears slipped onto her cheeks as she made another mark on her body. It wasn't the pain from the created wound that had caused it but from the pain that she was feeling inside. No, the cuts were a release. A way that she could finally deal with what it was that she was feeling inside. A way to cope with all of the negative feelings that she had. It was only when she was by herself that she could finally admit that everything wasn't really okay.
So no, she didn't realize anyone was around and watching. If she did then she wouldn't be able to do this. She wouldn't be able to continue with her mutilation. No, she would have to act as if she wasn't doing anything and that everything really was okay when it clearly wasn't. But she couldn't let anyone know that. They would try to stop her and her self destructive ways if they were to know. That was why she had to make sure she had some time to be alone in order ot be able to confront herself and her personal demons.