Trapped in my Own Despair.
#28
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She looked to Kami, and watched him for a moment before he answered, with that, she stuffed it in the duffel bag, then she turned ready to look for anything else that may come in handy. This idea was interrupted by something he begun to say, and she stopped, listening to what he had to say. Her mind begun to chew on where he was going with this, her head lifted and she twisted her neck so the right side of her face was looking at him. Her eyes dropped as he spoke more on what he was getting at. Was he going to apologize? Before she could decide, he finally finished. She tried to ignore the thought that came to her mind, he couldn't be talking about her and Ookami..could he? Was it obvious? She tried to hide it, to bury it, but surely something like that couldn't be hidden..well at least. Especially by her, she was awful at hiding her emotions when they were strong within her. She turned her neck back so she could hide her face from the emotions that bubbled within her. She drew in a long meditating breath. She didn't know what to say now, but her mind was now locked in uncertainty. She exhaled slowly like her breath was bated within her lungs, and finally she spoke..the best answer she could give, "...you're right.." Her voice was faint with distracted thoughts.


For the short moment that was the conversation of broken hidden messages, she felt like it dragged out for hours, but then he spoke of food, and she again responded, "..okay.." She said still in distracted thought, and she moved to the kitchen area she rarely, if ever, used. She opened the back door, reminding her just how much colder it was outside. There she brushed away the large amounts of snow and grabbed the parts she had of venison and whole rabbits. In truth she never liked to kill, but when she did, she asked forgiveness and thanks for taking a life. She didn't know who, and what she was speaking to when she did it, all she knew was it felt right to do. Adonia cherished life, all forms. Even the smallest bug, when aware of it, she did everything in her own power to avoid harming, or letting harm come of the small creature. She knew though, she was a wolf..well wolfdog, but she needed to eat, but if she could she wouldn't eat living things, but it was what she was built for..it was the only way to live healthy and happy.


As she picked up and packed away the frozen kill, or parts of a kill, she thought about how she had to hunt, and all the prey she took to store up for the harsh winter. She said her private thanks again, then zipped up the bag. She took plenty of prey, as much that would fit in the duffel bag. A few rear legs of does she had cut in order to pack them neatly at her rear door, then a large amount of rabbits. She hoped that she wouldn't run out during this storm, but she wouldn't allow anyone to go hungry..she'd starve before letting another go without.


She returned to Kami, the duffel bag slung over her shoulders and hanging on her back. She then thought it best to downshift, and she took a form, she rarely, if ever had used. Her Sucei form. She couldn't recall if she ever used it, but now she would. It wasn't a pretty form in her mind, but in this weather, she could use all the power she could muster to get back to Ookami...


"..let's go."


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