lol
His anger made her wince, but her determination to make him understand what she went through made her look him in the eyes. "I left because in the state I was in I was of no use to you or to my pack. You didn't deserve someone like that. Someone who was so helpless that she let that disgusting monster touch her the way he did. I fought back at him cause there I is only one person I want touching me like that in this lifetime! I'm not as emotionally as strong as you and Jace are...." She blinked back another set of tears. Her voice grew quiet as she talked again, "I am loyal. Loyal enough to know that if I stayed I would have done more damage than good. So I left, left to find myself help, so I could help the pack again. So could be useful again."
She scooted away from the towering male, shifting into her lupus form so that she could look him face to face. "I came back, I joined this pack cause now this is where my loyalty lies. With the pack of Ichika No Ho-en......and with you...I came to find you." She said the last part much more quietly, unsure of if he would be disgusted or not. She turned away but his next words caught her off guard. Find em?...Find who? She looked back and saw the hurt in his eyes. Surely he didn't think she left him to find another male. Did he? She turned back to him confusion in her eyes. "You thought I left you for someone else?" Her voice a musical whisper, realization spread across her face, how could she let him believe that? She turned, looking away from him before telling him the one thing she had been wanting to tell him for a long time....."Noah....there is no one else." She looked up at the sweet tripod, she needed to tell him, she only hoped that he would listen. "Noah.....I.....I love you. I didn't want to leave.....but I wasn't worth your affections. I wanted to stay....to stay with you, but I.. I couldn't. I didn't want you having anyone in your life who was as much of a coward as I was."
She walked away from him, he wouldn't believe her, she had hurt him too badly. She sat in he dirt a couple of feet away, not really sure what else to say. She sighed, giving up and taking in all the things he had said to her. "I'm sorry Noah. I'm sorry I let you believe that I didn't want you......I'm sorry for even leaving you in the first place." She turned back to him and sat at his feet, she would take every word of anger that she still had coming at her, every icy cut that she deserved for leaving him. She knew she had this coming for a long time, it was no use, she wouldn't win him back unless she sat here and let him get out every feeling and every word that he had for her. She wouldn't run...not this time.
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