04-10-2012, 04:30 PM
I haven't written that much action, but I prefer to write with descriptions: how does the surroundings react to to the action? For instance (have a crappy example, wow this is bad ;D):
Ulilohi lunged for her attacker, aiming at their side. Retreating to avoid retaliation, she used sideways jumps to try to circle her opponent and get a better angle for her next attack.
I could write it like this (focusing on the surroundings first rather than Ulilohi):
Air brushed the fine hairs on her muzzle as she lunged for her attacker, aiming at their side. Well-trained reflexes and agile legs quickly brought her back to her starting point, and she started to jump sideways, trying to circle her opponent to get a better angle for her next attack.
Obviously, if you use just the one technique, it'll get a run-on feel anyway, so I mix them up and try to vary them a lot. Hope my clumsy examples easily illustrate what I meant ;D
Ulilohi lunged for her attacker, aiming at their side. Retreating to avoid retaliation, she used sideways jumps to try to circle her opponent and get a better angle for her next attack.
I could write it like this (focusing on the surroundings first rather than Ulilohi):
Air brushed the fine hairs on her muzzle as she lunged for her attacker, aiming at their side. Well-trained reflexes and agile legs quickly brought her back to her starting point, and she started to jump sideways, trying to circle her opponent to get a better angle for her next attack.
Obviously, if you use just the one technique, it'll get a run-on feel anyway, so I mix them up and try to vary them a lot. Hope my clumsy examples easily illustrate what I meant ;D