This is a problem I've know about for a long time. It bugs me a lot, but I don't know what to do about it.
I am crap at writing action. I do not know how to space things out in sentences so it shows that time has passed. Everything looks like a run-on sentence and goes far too fast when I read it. Like, I'll know that Alma has to pull an arrow out of her leg, then run away, then hide behind a bush, but then I won't know how to word so it doesn't seem like she's doing it all at once.
It'll look like this: 'Character does x, x and then x. Suddenly she does x!'
Sometimes I can break it up with thoughts. I'm trying to be more descriptive so it looks less obvious, but sometimes it still looks wrong to me.
How do I fix this?
And/or how do ya'll write action?
I try write action in very short, fast sentences. It just seems to fit.
I love to write action =) but sometimes it comes out sounding too fast for me too. Like you said, I fill it with description. For your example, add things like how bad the arrow hurts Alma or what horror she experience in pulling something out of their flesh. Is she terrified that she wont escape? I try to write what I think might be too much then go back and realize that it reads a lot faster then it took me to actually word it and write it down. Hope that helps a wee bit.
I usually only have a couple actions per post to allow the other to respond. The rest is seeing the action and why the responding action was chosen.
I haven't written that much action, but I prefer to write with descriptions: how does the surroundings react to to the action? For instance (have a crappy example, wow this is bad ;D):
Ulilohi lunged for her attacker, aiming at their side. Retreating to avoid retaliation, she used sideways jumps to try to circle her opponent and get a better angle for her next attack.
I could write it like this (focusing on the surroundings first rather than Ulilohi):
Air brushed the fine hairs on her muzzle as she lunged for her attacker, aiming at their side. Well-trained reflexes and agile legs quickly brought her back to her starting point, and she started to jump sideways, trying to circle her opponent to get a better angle for her next attack.
Obviously, if you use just the one technique, it'll get a run-on feel anyway, so I mix them up and try to vary them a lot. Hope my clumsy examples easily illustrate what I meant ;D
I dislike writing fights because I wrote SO MANY when I first started roleplaying (I wrote a lot for Dragonball Z-based RPGs from 2001-2004, and later, a Bleach-themed RPG in 2006, so).
The fight part gradually got more boring for me and I focused a lot on the character's thoughts regarding the fight instead. I would space out the action sentences and stuff TONS of introspection in between to keep it interesting for myself. Noting the environment is also helpful, especially as it will also give you more options for the action itself -- it's good to take advantage of background elements and incorporate them into the action.
Outside of fights, action doesn't concern me all that much. Much of the same techniques apply. Space out the actual actions with thoughts and observations, dialogue, whatever. Even if the actions are to happen in quick succession, thoughts can come faster still. :>
