07-17-2012, 05:46 PM
LOOL made myself cry XD
She consoled herself though with the thought that they had not suffered, she had shouldered the pain for them, and that they were now in a better place where nothing could ever hurt them. She frowned at the roof, feeling like an awkward teenager again. Why was talking to him so difficult all of a sudden? Was it the unexpected abruptness of this, or was it something deeper. She stared ahead as he tested out the names for himself, working out if he liked them or not. She was pleased that he did and smiled up at him, Lorenna and Makenzi had been her best of friends apart from Elsie and she still missed them dearly, the idea of naming her children after them as an honor to their memory sat well with her like it did her mother and grandfather. For some reason though she felt oddly about naming any after her own sister, it would bring up expectations and feelings that Jace would never want to burden on to any child of her own. Elsie was her heart of souls, there was never any bringing her back.
There was silence between them and it was thick and unwelcome so she filled it with nervous chatter, something also unusual for her,
"Makenzi and Lorenna were half sisters, born five years apart to the same mother. Arecervi was a friend of my mothers, she would look after us all when mother and my aunt went out hunting or on patrol." The more she said the more she stiffened up until she resembled a piece of wood, cold and unmoving. This was too painful to think about, too painful to relive, she changed conversation course onto what he had been saying,
"I like it." There was a very pregnant pause after that as though something more should be added, and these disturbing feelings twisted around and around inside of her. She had started out in this direction now and there was nothing she could do to derail the train of her thoughts. She had purposely avoided thinking about it, bringing it up and now painful memory after painful memory surged within her mind. Friends, family, loved ones, all of them circled around her in a smothering kaleidoscope of sound and color. Her voice was quiet,
"The last thing she ever said to us before she went off to fight, to die. All that I am and all that I ever was, is here in your perfect eyes." The dam broke and the torrent roared out. The sobs came to her unbidden and uncontrollable, racing from within. Had she ever properly mourned for the destruction of her entire world. Had she ever cried for them before, the mother who had killed for her and the sister who had died to save her. Tearless heaves of her chest wracked her small frame, and her voice was broken and cracked,
"Oh Temo. They're gone, they're gone and they're never coming back. I'm all alone now, I'm the last one." She was horrified, but it was unstoppable. She cried for her long dead birth pack on the roof of their new home while their children slept unknowingly below them.
She consoled herself though with the thought that they had not suffered, she had shouldered the pain for them, and that they were now in a better place where nothing could ever hurt them. She frowned at the roof, feeling like an awkward teenager again. Why was talking to him so difficult all of a sudden? Was it the unexpected abruptness of this, or was it something deeper. She stared ahead as he tested out the names for himself, working out if he liked them or not. She was pleased that he did and smiled up at him, Lorenna and Makenzi had been her best of friends apart from Elsie and she still missed them dearly, the idea of naming her children after them as an honor to their memory sat well with her like it did her mother and grandfather. For some reason though she felt oddly about naming any after her own sister, it would bring up expectations and feelings that Jace would never want to burden on to any child of her own. Elsie was her heart of souls, there was never any bringing her back.
There was silence between them and it was thick and unwelcome so she filled it with nervous chatter, something also unusual for her,
"Makenzi and Lorenna were half sisters, born five years apart to the same mother. Arecervi was a friend of my mothers, she would look after us all when mother and my aunt went out hunting or on patrol." The more she said the more she stiffened up until she resembled a piece of wood, cold and unmoving. This was too painful to think about, too painful to relive, she changed conversation course onto what he had been saying,
"I like it." There was a very pregnant pause after that as though something more should be added, and these disturbing feelings twisted around and around inside of her. She had started out in this direction now and there was nothing she could do to derail the train of her thoughts. She had purposely avoided thinking about it, bringing it up and now painful memory after painful memory surged within her mind. Friends, family, loved ones, all of them circled around her in a smothering kaleidoscope of sound and color. Her voice was quiet,
"The last thing she ever said to us before she went off to fight, to die. All that I am and all that I ever was, is here in your perfect eyes." The dam broke and the torrent roared out. The sobs came to her unbidden and uncontrollable, racing from within. Had she ever properly mourned for the destruction of her entire world. Had she ever cried for them before, the mother who had killed for her and the sister who had died to save her. Tearless heaves of her chest wracked her small frame, and her voice was broken and cracked,
"Oh Temo. They're gone, they're gone and they're never coming back. I'm all alone now, I'm the last one." She was horrified, but it was unstoppable. She cried for her long dead birth pack on the roof of their new home while their children slept unknowingly below them.