And this is crazy

Jace Wolfe · 06-16-2012, 10:25 AM

9th June

287

Life had strange ways of working sometimes. She could never question fate's long term motives but she frequently wondered what manner of things would come her way. As it was it seemed to be her destiny to become a mother yet again, for she knew life grew inside of her as surely as she knew the sun would rise again in the morning. She had discovered the feelings of carrying young twice now and that was enough for her to determine it prematurely even it seemed before her body recognised it and broadcasted the fact within her scent.

The night was only in its teenaged stages, the sun had sunk below the horizon a whole ago and yet a few streaky blossoms of color still resisted the imminent darkness and proudly displayed their vibrant nature. Atop her house she crouched watching the days last vestiges finally fade away and give in to true darkness. As first one hour and then a second passed by she found her muscles cramping and shifted her position so that she sat instead of merely hovered. Committing herself to staying here for a while, if not the whole night.

She had a while to go yet before her pregnancy would show to others but still her hand rested over her stomach in a possessive protective act. She allowed herself to wonder and daydream, would there be many of them or only few. Girls or boys. What would they look like, would they take after herself or Temo or be a mixture of both or be a completely new design. Another hour in human time passed by as she remained in that wondering, considering state, unwilling to move from her thoughtful spot.

Temo Wolfe · 06-16-2012, 10:29 AM

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It was a quiet evening that any sunlight that had found it's way to and through the windows of the house slowly moving and making the shadows grow longer until the sun had disappeared over the horizon in it's never ending quest across the skies. It was those lengthening shadows that found Temo setting by the fire that was growing smaller as it converted the wood to ash and heat.

The pups had gone to bed earlier amongst their usual protests and they all had finally drifted off to sleep and no longer talking and fighting amongst themselves in sibling rivalry fashion as he sat and stared at the dwindling flames and pondered at Jace's absence from within the house.

The quietness and hypnotizing effects of the flames as they danced up and down the remaining pieces of fire wood were tugging at his eyelids as he was sat there with his thoughts. He was not concerned with her whereabouts as his ears could hear that she was on the roof with her occasional shifting of position. He was just mildly concerned that there might be something wrong as she seemed to be quiet.
He stood up and shook the sleep from his body and quietly slipped out of the house as to not wake the pups and made his way up to the roof and over to where Jace was quietly sat by herself and joined her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and gently pulled her slightly against his side in an effort to comfort her.

Temo Wolfe

Jace Wolfe · 06-16-2012, 10:40 AM

331

By a blink of her eyes she was not sitting on a rooftop in the Cercatorian lands of Nova Scotia but many hundreds of miles away staring at a pale white sky that threw down meters of snow. The wind blustered heavily and the air was ice cold, she breathed it in with relish, enjoying the way it made her feel alive and bright like one of the many stars that were visible when night fell. Someone called her name softly and she turned about slowly. A beloved sight met her eyes; her mother and twin sister were waiting for her to quit dawdling so they could go hunting. Then the waking dream was gone and she was alone again on the wooden roof with only her pain and sorrow for company.

The wolf-dog pulled her knees closer to her chest and rest her tired head upon them. A silent sigh escaped her nose and the warm air curled as misty fog before her muzzle. Her eyelids drooped ever downwards, slowly as she fought to stay awake. Creaking wood had her ears twitching and arousing her curious nature. Her head remained resting on her knees but her eyes flickered to catch the top of Temo's head as it appeared over the side of the roof. She waited in silence as he pulled himself fully onto the roof and carefully walked towards her.

How would he react now to this news. They already had four children together, would he be angry at her. She had never heard of pregnancy occurring without a heat cycle in evidence, it worried her. She did not relax into him as she would have normally done, a sure sign that something was wrong,

"There is news I must share to you. I.." She cut herself off, almost like she was scared to say the words, as though speaking them out loud removed any chance of her being wrong even though she knew that what she felt was true.

Temo Wolfe · 06-16-2012, 10:43 AM

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The darkened evening seemed to have stilled the day as most of the birds and other critters of the day had gone silent with the passing of the sun over the horizon and left the dark to the denizens of the night. The distant hoot of an owl on the hunt seemed to signal that it was time for the nocturnal animals to wake up and be about their business.

Temo could feel that there was some conflict within Jace that was keeping her from talking to him. His ears dipped in worry as he waited a few moments in hope that she would continue with her news. A frown grew on his muzzle as her continued silence brought more worry into his now troubling thoughts.

As the quiet noise of the night tried to fill the silence, Temo's concern slowly rose. His free hand gently slipped through the dark to her hand and gently held it, I am here with you. I am here to help you if I can. What is it that has you so troubled this evening? he kept his voice quiet, almost a whisper as he tried to comfort Jace in what seems a time of need.

Temo Wolfe

Jace Wolfe · 06-16-2012, 10:44 AM

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The owl's call had one of her ears twisting almost unconciously, it was sat on a branch about roughly a hundred meters or so away. Crickets added their chirping to the orchestra of sound, a background hum of noise. The hybrid's whiskers quivered slightly as she stared forwards, silence cloaking the pair of them like a heavy black shroud, choking the bond they shared. She bereted herself internally, she should trust him to support her even if the news might not be something that he would look forwards to, she did not doubt for a second that he would love them if they came along but the question was whether or not he would want them in the first place. But she would be adamant in that, she had seen too many couples watch as their children died one by one, heard their cries of pain and felt their suffering to even consider ending the pregnancy before its time was up, to the wolves of Denahlii Svinka Tokolra, children were revered above all else. She would not bring about their early deaths no matter how much protest was given to her.

It should have been so much easier than it was to force out the words, to bring the knowledge into his world but it had to be done,

"Life works strangely, no signs were to be had but what is now firm cannot be hidden or denied. Again I carry your young." She watched for his reaction out of the corner of her eye.

Temo Wolfe · 06-16-2012, 10:46 AM

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To Temo, it had seemed that the whole world had gone quiet, as if it was holding it's breath waiting for Jace to tell him what was on her mind. Numerous thoughts continued flowing through his mind in anticipation of news yet to come that seemed to have the potential to be bad.

It took his brain a few moments to process what she had said. It was not what he was expecting for the news that his thoughts were preparing him for. Temo realized that he had held his breath when she started speaking and was still holding it. He let his breath out slowly as he processed her news and realized that it was not the bad news that his thoughts were in turmoil about, but was some wonderful news that he was happy to hear.

The whole world breathed a sigh of happy relief as the good news took root in Temo's thoughts and the night noises around them seemed to resume on a happier note. As his his head settled down into happy thoughts of having more pups to play with. A smile formed on his muzzle as his arm pulled her tighter into him. That is the most wonderful news that you can bring me, his voice was quiet but laced with joy as he finally was able to reply.

Temo Wolfe

Jace Wolfe · 06-21-2012, 06:57 PM

It was her turn to wait in tense silence as she had made him do earlier in the conversation. Her throat was raw and her nerves were shot, she felt queasy and sick, a hand crept to her stomach as though she could control the rolling feelings by touch alone. It didn't work however and she still felt no better. Then his arm tightened and she finally saw the smile bloom onto his face. Her own return was just as strong, just as loving. This life together was theirs and nobody else's to complain about or criticize.

"I don't think I'm very far in, I only realized what the feelings meant yesterday, I've been thinking on the best way to tell you, but... the words were lost, they wouldn't come." She fidgeted a bit, his arm still around her and then asked a question that would get them both thinking,

"We should pick out names. Do you have any ideas?"

Temo Wolfe · 06-23-2012, 01:12 PM

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Deep in his own thoughts about another litter of children, that he did not hear the noises that were going on around them nor did he notice the gentle breeze that drifted by ruffling their fur. It felt like a dream that he had a family and here he had more progeny on the way to make the family bigger. The family that in his young life before leaving his birth pack, that he never believed that he would have.

His swirling thoughts kept him quiet and focused inward for a minute until it filtered through his brain and into his thoughts that Jace had spoken. It took a few more moments for his thoughts to center on her words and for him to consider an answer and what words to use in that answer.

I cannot think of any names for our new family to be, he said with a touch of sadness in his voice at his inability to come up with any names. For the moment, his thoughts moved on to something else that Jace had said, Why is it hard for you to come to me and talk to me about such joyous news? he queried in a quiet voice. Then, his mind switched gears again, We could name them after our parents. he suggested, not having much imagination on coming up with names.

Temo Wolfe

Jace Wolfe · 06-28-2012, 05:25 PM

"I don't know." She replied honestly, she didn't have any clue about why it had been so hard to force out the news, although now that she had done she felt a whole lot better about everything. "There were just no words, it's so strange too. There was no cycle to warm me." She lapsed into a thoughtful silence, again confused by this strange phenomenon. Even if she had somehow managed to miss the cycle's symptoms there would have been way that Temo would have, he was geared to respond to those cues and scents after all.

She liked his idea although about naming them after parents, well his rather. Jace had already given her mother's name to the little girl she had birthed in Phoenix Valley and her grandfather's to the boy. She had no knowledge of her own father's name. She didn't want to remind him of their ill fated children though and simply said,

"I never knew my father, I don't even know his name, only that he was a dog hybrid. What about your family?" Both of them tried not to speak much of their families, Temo because he was a quiet and untalkative person by nature and Jace because it was very painful for her to revisit those memories.

Temo Wolfe · 06-30-2012, 12:24 PM

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Temo pondered Jace's words for a few moments, as he wondered why words did not come to them easily when talking. Maybe, he thought, her being busy with pack protection and stuff and him with his partial seclusion in his shop working on teaching himself carving that they were not spending as much time together than they should. Maybe that theory was also part of why they did not notice that she was in cycle. Hmm, maybe our thoughts were busy with our daily lives that the cycle was missed. He mused.

There was something in her voice and eyes that sparked a memory of their early days in the first pack that they had joined after arriving at this peninsula. The memory and tears of their very first litter of 2 that had not survived past their first breaths in the world. There was a wave of sadness that flowed through him, sadness that was not for their passing, but sadness that he had forgotten about them.

As Jace seemed to not want to mention them, out of respect for her, he decided not to either. and his thoughts turned to his past as he dusted off the memories of his childhood. Well, he started, my father was Adam and mom was Lulabee.

Temo Wolfe

Jace Wolfe · 06-30-2012, 01:06 PM

She shrugged, to be honest it wasn't all that important really, what mattered now was the lives of their children, both the ones born and unborn. The younger female moved closer a little bit to her mate, the wind whistled by them, dragging at her floppy ears and her thick fur. She was close to four years old now, they had been within souls for almost two years, it was strange that so long of her life had passed almost without her noticing it.

Jace had never forgotten the two unfortunate children, but then she had been the one to give birth to them, feel the pain of it and the sorrow. She couldn't block it out, and hide the memories away, they would stain her always, the two that she had failed. Her eyes looked slightly haunted and she was, haunted by thoughts of the past, regrets and mistakes that had been made. She had been so young back then and so stupid, thinking she was above everyone, it had gotten her raped, it had gotten her children murdered.

"Yeah. Any others? I had two female friends growing up, they're not family by blood but they were like sisters to me. Lorenna and Makenzi."

Temo Wolfe · 06-30-2012, 04:15 PM

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The haunted look in her eyes did not go unnoticed. And, somehow, he felt what the subject of her thoughts were that was bringing that look into her eyes. They both seemed to be having a quiet moment in remembrance of the two pups that neither could do anything to help. It had been a sobering moment in addition to the extreme sadness that they had felt that day. He felt that it had made them finish their journey into adult hood, had made them finish growing up.

He took a few moments as Temo thought about the names that Jace had said. He went over them in his mind and thought about them. Lorenna he whispered to himself followed by Makenzi he also whispered to himself trying out the unfamiliar names. Finally deciding that he liked them, Those are nice names. He replied to her unvoiced query whether he liked the names or not. Blood or otherwise, if you feel they are family, then they are family. He followed up to let her know that if she thought of someone as family, then, as far as he was concerned, they were family regardless of bloodlines.

He fell silent as he thought through more possible names but his mind was coming up blank. There were no other names that stuck out at the moment. He was an only pup in his litter so there were no litter mates that he was close to. Upon reflection of his childhood, it seemed that he did not hang out with other pups as much as he probably should have. This thought also seemed to shed some light on how he seemed to be a recluse and had been staying in his shop most of the day and not interacting much with the rest of the pack. Then one name came to mind, Drahnor, he was my father's father. was his quiet reply to her question as his disjointed young memories of his grandfather flashed behind his eyes.

Temo Wolfe

Jace Wolfe · 07-17-2012, 05:46 PM

LOOL made myself cry XD

She consoled herself though with the thought that they had not suffered, she had shouldered the pain for them, and that they were now in a better place where nothing could ever hurt them. She frowned at the roof, feeling like an awkward teenager again. Why was talking to him so difficult all of a sudden? Was it the unexpected abruptness of this, or was it something deeper. She stared ahead as he tested out the names for himself, working out if he liked them or not. She was pleased that he did and smiled up at him, Lorenna and Makenzi had been her best of friends apart from Elsie and she still missed them dearly, the idea of naming her children after them as an honor to their memory sat well with her like it did her mother and grandfather. For some reason though she felt oddly about naming any after her own sister, it would bring up expectations and feelings that Jace would never want to burden on to any child of her own. Elsie was her heart of souls, there was never any bringing her back.

There was silence between them and it was thick and unwelcome so she filled it with nervous chatter, something also unusual for her,

"Makenzi and Lorenna were half sisters, born five years apart to the same mother. Arecervi was a friend of my mothers, she would look after us all when mother and my aunt went out hunting or on patrol." The more she said the more she stiffened up until she resembled a piece of wood, cold and unmoving. This was too painful to think about, too painful to relive, she changed conversation course onto what he had been saying,

"I like it." There was a very pregnant pause after that as though something more should be added, and these disturbing feelings twisted around and around inside of her. She had started out in this direction now and there was nothing she could do to derail the train of her thoughts. She had purposely avoided thinking about it, bringing it up and now painful memory after painful memory surged within her mind. Friends, family, loved ones, all of them circled around her in a smothering kaleidoscope of sound and color. Her voice was quiet,

"The last thing she ever said to us before she went off to fight, to die. All that I am and all that I ever was, is here in your perfect eyes." The dam broke and the torrent roared out. The sobs came to her unbidden and uncontrollable, racing from within. Had she ever properly mourned for the destruction of her entire world. Had she ever cried for them before, the mother who had killed for her and the sister who had died to save her. Tearless heaves of her chest wracked her small frame, and her voice was broken and cracked,

"Oh Temo. They're gone, they're gone and they're never coming back. I'm all alone now, I'm the last one." She was horrified, but it was unstoppable. She cried for her long dead birth pack on the roof of their new home while their children slept unknowingly below them.

Temo Wolfe · 07-20-2012, 01:57 AM

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In the cool night air while they were sitting on the roof, Temo listened intently to the history lesson of her past. He realized that he did not know much about her past, only bits and pieces that she had mentioned to him from time to time. Part of his thoughts was him wondering why they never really mention their child hood and young adult hood histories to each other.

He could tell something about the history of her birth pack was starting to trouble her as he could feel her muscles tensing up. His worry began to rise but stopped when she seemed to try and change the subject. And his fears were realized when the change in subject did not remain and her tears began to pour out of her eyes. These situations made him worry that he would make it worse because he did not know what to do or say.

He was afraid to say anything because he did not want to make it worse for her or even alienate her from him. It was a minute or two of being silent and letting her cry that the thought occurred to him, You are not alone, or the last one now, you have the children, they are as much part of your birth pack as you are. was the words that quietly came from his muzzle.

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Jace Wolfe · 07-22-2012, 07:20 AM

Even in her misery she shied away from the comfort of others, instead of leaning into him like so many other women would have she leaned forwards and covered her face with her ashen hands. He was silent other than his breathing which was exactly what she expected from him, he was not very good at dealing with people at the best of times. Still he had his own ways of standing by her side, he didn't leave her alone but was just clueless as to what to say, he probably didn't want to make her feel worse.

She shouldn't have gone down this road with him here, he couldn't understand it or her with this, not even her children could comprehend it fully as considerate his words were. She shook her head, staring between her feet to the ground below them, she could at least put him out of his misery and then go mourn alone in the way she had been taught, in the only way she knew. She wiped at her wet face and sniffed sadly,

"I think you should go back to bed, I'll come down soon enough." It was not an order but a request of him. Once he had gone she could get down too and go for a walk to think.

Temo Wolfe · 07-22-2012, 12:27 PM

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It was her body language that clued him in that he should have kept his muzzle shut and not said anything. It seems that in his attempt to help her, he had made things worse. He was never very good with this stuff and more often than not, he seemed to read things wrong and once again spout out the wrong thing. He should have known better because whenever he tried talking about feelings or other similar stuff, it always went wrong and this was another one of those things to add to the growing list.

The request that she made of him to leave her alone did not really surprise him. After he realized that he had made things worse, he was kind of expecting it. It was a quiet voice that came from his throat, Ok. he replied to her request. With that he quietly stood up and made his way off the roof and into the house. The only thing was, was that he was not tired nor did he feel like sleeping now, so instead he went to the sofa and sat down on the plump cushions. He stared at the glowing embers in the fireplace that was the remains of the fire from earlier in the evening and reflected on how he had messed up what was to have been a happy moment for both of them.

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