ooc:
The eyes of anger bore back at her, unyielding and raw though kept behind the transparent walls of control. The Nomad was stunned still by what she saw, what she heard, but when the initial shock wore itself away, her expression had fallen from its sorrow mask and was replaced by something alike to anger. A defensive rage like an animal backed into a corner by a predator but was reluctant to show its throat in defeat. Suppose she deserved this cornering, to have her body nicked and picked and gouged til her innards were lying exposed for the vulture to feast. But her stubbornness would not allow her to submit to this torture outright. Her pride in tatters, she did not seek to cover her exposed self but stood as she was accepting the relentless flog of her dearest friend.
"X'ies...you do not recognize what love is..." she retorted, still refusing to relinquish her bite. "Nor do you know me if you believe I speak to you in order to convince you with 'humble words'." Contesting his order for her to leave, she asserted her right not only as his Alpha, his Shepard, but as his friend to make understand what by her own means she had danced around. But a part of her did not believe it held relevance to him anymore. He already believed their bond meant nothing to her and yet if that had been the truth, why then would she make herself victim to this abuse? Deserved or not she could have left then and there, been done with that level of disrespect made by a subordinate to his Alpha and gone on about her evening whilst writing this venture off as a lost cause. At her sides she clenched her fists in controlled anger. It was because of that bond that she took her lashing.
"You are mistaken if you would call what you showed me 'weakness'," her voice was low and measured, its inflexion changing as she breathed while taking steps around the fire. "You are only reaffirming that 'weakness' that you had in our earlier seasons. Looking back on it now, I could see that my Shepard saw it in you, however small, though we were not allowed to learn of it or explore it. But it happened none the less...didn't it Xies? And I had thought it had been lost on you." Coming to stand beside him, she gently took the vulture feather in his mane between two fingers and twirled it lightly in thought. "My mistake, I believe, goes further back than 'luring' you...it was running away in the first place. Leaving you alone.. nearly severing our bond. I am not proud of the way I left or what it could have- what it had done to you. I have no excuse for my actions.
"But I will say this... your 'mistake' in showing your weakness... you will do it again, and again, regardless of how much you try not to. Just as the vulture will always feed on the pieces of what remains. At least I will see it when no other will. Because to ignore it would be dishonoring our bond. Some that I do still cherish."
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