ooc: Form, Optime. Time: 9:25pm, after sun set.
She came close once again,this time he didn't move, his eyes didn't move. He just kept staring ahead blankly. His voices, now unified within his mind once again. "...What is this?....what should I do?...should I cry?....do I want to?....I...I don't know.....why...what does it mean to cry?". He didn't know, none of these things he knew. If in truth he was feeling things, then it was new, raw...he didn't know how to express any of it. "....What does it mean to love?...what does it mean to be happy?...". His fathers voice would answer his questions, simply put....love meant weakness, happiness meant personal victory and succession. But these were not what he considered real, he had succeeded before, but he had not felt anything. But now there was fear, there was loss...there was pitiful realization
" No, I refuse this"
He snapped out of it and looked into her eyes. " No". He stood, confidence. Clear as it had been returning to his eyes."....I understand nothing, because if....if I even began to consider the thought I might be...tainted....". He brought his hand to her face, there was a nudge, an ache....a pain in the pit of his stomach as he did so. "...If I considered it, then one of three people would have to die....". "Then I would have to recognise that the woman I had unconciously been seeking since I was a child belonged now to another male...would bear that other males children....that she chose that other male....". He smiled and ran his hand down to her shoulder."...I cannot understand, that a bond runs both ways....to do so would be to think she might feel the same way, and to think that would mean she, unlike me...was aware of it....and if she was aware of it...her choice would become all the more painful..". Of course, his words only indicated that he knew full well of what was going on, what he felt. But he was denying it all for the sake of his sanity. For the sake of his broken emotion. To retain his identity as a Lambda. He removed his hand from her and returned to the fire.