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His muzzle stayed low even as he was faced with more anger. He had not intended to lie or hide what he’d done, only to bring attention to X’ies and his obvious desire to serve himself before facing it. Perhaps that was defensive enough to count. If he could have avoided telling her, he would have. She went on to praise X’ies before explaining the disease of love. How fickle it was. She was still wrong. His love was not fickle. It still beat in him weakly, broken, pained, and dying. Even as she smashed it to pieces. No, his love was not fickle. He peered up at her with eyes that, for the very first time since meeting her all that time ago in the lands of Ichika, held loathing within them. His mistake had been done before the revealing of their love. Before he could know how close they would come to each other. She was the one who was “crippled”, the one sickened by their love. And it wasn’t something she wore about her. It was nothing that could be seen. It was her pride that was hurt. The same self-pride that encouraged her to nearly take the life from him in the cave of steam. That pride which outweighed her love for him.
But she didn’t stop after painting this realization within her beloved. She continued to explain the love of the nomads which was not love at all. She spoke of dedication. His jaw swayed slightly as he weakly shook his head in pained disgust that his fellow leader was so blind. And it was still not enough. She never intended to love him. Never wanted to, pulled plainly from her roundabout way of putting it. She truly believed it to be a mistake and one that he had insisted upon? perhaps, for you it was not enough. How could that be true. It was just more of that damn pride, unable to admit she had wanted something so obviously wrong.
The touch was shocking. His blue orbs were occupied with the stony ground beneath them as he reevaluated all he knew of his love. He flinched away then from the touch he had desired so. Part of him begged to move quickly and receive whatever affection she would give. But a stronger, much more hurt part declared it a lie. You know nothing of love. He said quietly as he recoiled. Finally he drew his attention to her last words, perhaps the kindest thing he’d heard from her yet. But there was nothing further from him than understanding. She told him their love was a mistake because she loved him? She stepped on his very idea of the emotion because she felt it too. Hardly. He wasn’t even sure if her disappearing all together would have hurt more or less than this did. Understand what? His voice was hollow and empty and features masked with a lack of expression often left for only dangerous strangers and those he had no desire to trust. That before you could even speak with me about this you would give yourself to him?... Of all males… the one who has shown me not a shred of respect? And that is but a guess by the stink he left on you. ‘Taken steps to solidify the future of this family’, he quoted, You call me deceptive when you haven’t the nerve to explain the steps taken to cover the shame of our love.
Jaden does. Jaden speaks. Jaden thinks.
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