01-04-2009, 02:20 AM
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I don't think I can make Geneva anymore aggressive in her attraction toward Anu. As a result, I don't really know where this thread will end up, but I love it and you! Her eyes watered momentarily as she watched Anu debate silently. She had screwed up royally. What had she done? What had she Hoped to do? Nothing made sense to her now. She cursed the way her heart raced when Anu reached for her again. This was wrong, so wrong. An image of the white pelted Commander loomed large in her vision and she blinked before her imagination could give it any more substance. And there was the reason her heart be could be damned. She had promised the white woman her loyalty, her fealty, her resources. And silently, her life. How could she even imagine betraying Naniko? She felt a hollowness in the pit of her stomach. And suddenly, for a radiant moment, everything made sense for her again. She had a reason, a motive to back away even when Anu reached for her again in comfort. She stayed for a moment, listening to those sad, soft words. But that reason, the logic, the passion she felt for Crimson Dreams, and the compassion she had for Anu and Naniko overpowered any other feeling or thought. She smiled softly, and just as firmly withdrew without any lingering touch. The firmness in her actions was a message to Anu: that for this one moment, she understood and she was in control, however tenuous her control might be. "I know," she said softly. "I care about you too. More than I thought I did," those words held a shadow of confusion, doubt. She hated doubted herself, it left too much room for error. She took two small steps back, letting her arms hang loosely at her sides, her ears flat and her tail hanging limp between her legs. She needed to remain calm, to breathe evenly. The world was swaying with the sound of the ocean, everything had soft edges. She tried to focus and failed. "I don't know what's going on with me," she said helplessly and the silent words in those admission echoed unsaid in the air: I'm sorry. |