05-19-2009, 12:51 AM
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The boy continued to stare at his feet, so ashamed of his heritage. What use was he to anyone? Who would want the company or help of someone like him. He had sensed something from Firefly that day, some sort of uneasy recognition. He knew that he had never met the woman before, but maybe she had had a run in with his father. No doubt she wouldn't want his son lurking around, despite what she had said. Though when Ruri began to speak he lifted his head to look at her. She didn't seem to understand his fear of becoming his father. While that was comforting, he still wasn't convinced that it wasn't something inherit in his blood. Plus, he didn't feel like he had saved her. He hadn't actually done much for her, he had just been the first to find her. "I know, but what if it's just in my blood? What if it's something I can't stop? That's what worries me. That no matter what I do, what choices I make, one day it will all be undone..."
He knew that his approach to his problems was one of the worst things he could be doing, but he didn't know how else to cope. He felt alone in the world, like he had lost all purpose he had once felt like he had. When he was little he had had grand dreams of his future. Now they all seemed so impossible. "I just...don't know what to do..." He was having to hold back the tears that were collecting in his eyes and he was thankful that she couldn't see them. "That's who I want to be...I've just lost my way and I don't know how to get back..." He knew he sounded like such a defeatist, but the pessimism had been drilled into him pretty hard over the past month.
At her words about her friend his ears perked slightly. At first the image of a man with only one arm scared him, his father only had one arm. But his father was Conri, not Jac. He lived here, he hadn't been sailing around on some ship. It was the word "king" that really caught the boy's attention. "A king?" he questioned. Haven had had dreams of being a knight once, though he hadn't heard of any kings that were alive. It seemed like it couldn't be real.
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The boy continued to stare at his feet, so ashamed of his heritage. What use was he to anyone? Who would want the company or help of someone like him. He had sensed something from Firefly that day, some sort of uneasy recognition. He knew that he had never met the woman before, but maybe she had had a run in with his father. No doubt she wouldn't want his son lurking around, despite what she had said. Though when Ruri began to speak he lifted his head to look at her. She didn't seem to understand his fear of becoming his father. While that was comforting, he still wasn't convinced that it wasn't something inherit in his blood. Plus, he didn't feel like he had saved her. He hadn't actually done much for her, he had just been the first to find her. "I know, but what if it's just in my blood? What if it's something I can't stop? That's what worries me. That no matter what I do, what choices I make, one day it will all be undone..."
He knew that his approach to his problems was one of the worst things he could be doing, but he didn't know how else to cope. He felt alone in the world, like he had lost all purpose he had once felt like he had. When he was little he had had grand dreams of his future. Now they all seemed so impossible. "I just...don't know what to do..." He was having to hold back the tears that were collecting in his eyes and he was thankful that she couldn't see them. "That's who I want to be...I've just lost my way and I don't know how to get back..." He knew he sounded like such a defeatist, but the pessimism had been drilled into him pretty hard over the past month.
At her words about her friend his ears perked slightly. At first the image of a man with only one arm scared him, his father only had one arm. But his father was Conri, not Jac. He lived here, he hadn't been sailing around on some ship. It was the word "king" that really caught the boy's attention. "A king?" he questioned. Haven had had dreams of being a knight once, though he hadn't heard of any kings that were alive. It seemed like it couldn't be real.