[html]
She needs her knight in shining armor ^_^. Word Count:581+
Weeks had gone by now. He really was gone, and not coming back. No explanation; none had been given. The fact that it had been raining off and on only seemed to help her dig herself into the emotional hole she was in. Her bangs hung in her face, covering her bloodshot, milky blue eyes. She didn't bother to fix it. Her hair was of little importance to her now. The petite, fragile Dauphine of Cour des Miracles sat, knees hugged to her chest on her couch as she rested her chin on top, tears slowly trickling down her face. One might have been surprised that she had any left by now. It seemed like she never stopped crying, not even for those moments when she let herself doze off, which weren't often.
The news had torn her apart, and the pack meeting had done little to help. Of course it had been right. After all, everyone had needed to know the state of things; who was in command now. Vigilante had done a good job, and doubtless he would fill the post well, probably better than she wanted to admit. She just couldn't understand! Why did this have to happen?! What had she done wrong?! Things weren't supposed to work out this way. Jacquez was gone, probably for good. Hadn't he remembered his promise?! He had said he'd never leave her...that he'd always be there for her. He promised! Now he was gone, her best friend, her father, her brother, all rolled into one. He'd abandoned her.
Or maybe he hadn't. Maybe she'd been the one to drive him away. Maybe he thought she didn't want to be around him anymore. She should have visited more often. They were family, she'd promised him that she'd visit, and what had she done!? This was all her fault wasn't it, and now she was being punished for lying to her friend, the man who had sacrificed so much to keep her alive, keep her safe. She deserved to feel this horrible didn't she?
The innocent, emotionally sensitive collie had been debating with herself for just as long as Jac had been gone over these many issues. She knew it was stupid. She knew she had a life to get back to, a mate and more friends who loved her, and her cat who, though he had stepped out occasionally, had rarely been out of earshot, unsure of what to make of his mistress' sudden change of demeanor. She shouldn't be this way. She hated being upset; hated thinking this way, but this dislike of her own emotional state seemed to only feed it. She wasn't strong enough to break free of it, not this time. So she sat, waiting. She knew he'd be home, eventually. He'd come and gone several times these past couple weeks, making sure she was alright, being there to listen to her worries, telling her he loved her, but other than that remaining silent. She'd been a horrible mate to him lately, not even bothering to come to bed, but sitting on the couch, forcibly depriving herself of sleep as some sort of penance for feeling the way she did. She'd hope it might make it better, though she knew such thoughts were irrational. She was on the brink. She was slowly inching her way out of the chasm she'd thrown herself into, but her heart was tired. She needed him to pull her out.
|
[/html]
|
