She breathed in the clean, rain drenched hair and did not mind the cold, wet weight that came with it. This was the first time her heart had been lighter in weeks, since her fall. She felt the clean, crisp air on her ruined face and knew a small measure of tolerance - not acceptance of her fate or situation, not peace with herself and her relationships. But a small bit of tolerance, an acknowledgement that going back to the way things used to be was all but impossible. It was a small, microscopic step in the right direction. And as small as it was, it was all that she had to show for moving on from the wreckage of the accident that had stolen so much of her - her vitality, her purpose, and who she thought she was.
She had come close to her old home. Although Crimson Dreams had ceased to be her home more than a year ago, she still felt a small measure of comfort. When she was at Phoenix Valley, she felt that she did not know who she was anymore, or how she fit into the grand scheme of things. Returning so close to the first home she had known in this land gave her some pause. She hadn't known the depths of her strength, of her emotion, of how far gone her heart could become, when she had first collapsed upon these lands. And she had only grown more after departing, rising through the ranks, discovering love with Jefferson. She closed her eyes against the thought. They hadn't said more than three words to one another since she had told him...She couldn't bear to think of it any longer.
She had taken her path away from Phoenix Valley to escape those thoughts and that pain for a while, a short while. She wanted ot hide from the eyes of her pack mates, to be somewhere where no one would look upon her ruined face and think of the once delicate features and straight, perfect profile. She didn't want to be surrounded by the thundering silence that let her know that everyone around her knew that she hadn't passed the night with her mate, as she used to - that she no longer held the duty or the honor associated with being the Savant. But how could she escape herself?