Mati regretted it. It wasn’t immediate, the pleasant feeling that came after speaking the words blocked the morals that she knew she owned. Would she say this to Rio? Mati knew the answer, and knew that she wouldn’t. Why did it make it okay to tell this half sibling? The questions were clouding her thoughts, making it hard for her to see the confusion and the conflict that lived in the green eyes and the dimly lit features of the other female. But the second couldn’t be answered and she pushed it away and finally blinked it away and looked clearly at the younger fey.
Then came the regret. The words she spoke were riddled with the unknowing. Mati knew that feeling, had asked and spoken the very same things. But it had happened, and Mati still did not know the answers to these things that she asked and now Lucia wondered. Hardened by time Mati had become cold when it came to speaking about her lost mother. How could she have told her like this? But then Mati hadn’t made these mistakes that made these truths what they were, wasn’t that enough to ease the guilt?
It was the drugs, Mati began, not allowing for the pain to return. Pushing it away distanced herself from Lucia as well. Her eyes left the tan female, taking a deep breath and allowing herself to consider that this truth was not the same stale cold feeling for the other as it was for her. she couldn’t help it. She left it around so that a puppy could find it. The excuse was fake, and Mati could only allow it out in the open for a single moment, Not after she started using the white powder. She could have helped herself by not starting at all. Looking up at the other fey Mati wondered is she hated being the one to break the news to the Valley wolfess. She couldn’t decide
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