wc: 355
He didn’t have much to say about the topic it seemed, and responded with only few words in comparison to her biography beforehand. He must have gotten this all the time; it was the only explanation she could come up with to lull her mind to rest peacefully, although she knew that his opinion of her would have been changed or distorted in some form making her lithe form quite uneasy, maybe sharing her story was a bad idea, next time she would learn to keep her trap firmly shut.
His question was reasonable, it was true that her father shouldn’t of been the output of release for her mother’s passing – but that wasn’t the whole story. If she had been given the decision herself she wouldn’t have carried through with her actions but it was already made for her, the makeup of the girl just wasn’t like that, in all truth Shayna purely hated violence. “No, it wasn’t my decision, fate had already chosen its path – or so I was told... If I were to start interfering, well complications could have turned out horribly for me and my father, they would have come for us both” She knew exactly what he would have been thinking; she was a physco-maniac, dangerous, killer…murderer. Her jaw snapped shut.
Her decision clamped down on her mind almost every day in fact, the what if’ and what if i did- differently, but nobody could turn back time or bring her father back. It was hard talking about her darkest demons with anyone – especially an outsider like Conor; she just wished he could understand her burden, everything would have seemed so unneeded and pathetic from his point of view, she assumed. For it was within the note the answers laid, those inscriptions held treacherous evils beyond any imagining and that was why she protected it so vigorously, no eyes deserved to reveal such unspeakable terror that had pushed her to the lengths of suicide herself before even thinking rationally about the situation. Nervously she wrapped her arms around her bodice, gently rocking against the cold wind awaiting his reply anxiously.
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