Tis ok hun 
WC: 1113
The tall ebony wolf was more nervous than she had been in a long time, now knowing what Naniko had done, how she had betrayed her grandchildren so deeply, imjured their hearts, stabbed at the very core of them, it was so unfair what she had done, hurting them in this way, one expected a certain amount of betrayal in their lives, but from their own mother it must have been heart breaking, the ebony fae had been betrayed by those she loved and trusted most deeply, her son, she had never loved her father but she should have, but he had betrayed her the moment she was born, trying to end her life before it had had a chance to begin. She knew the pain that went with a member of your own family, someone who's blood flowed in your own veins, betrayed you, she knew that it must be difficult for her grandchildren to forgive their mother, and their father and indeed herself, as she had left them in the hands of such unfit parents, truthfully she had not known, could not have forseen what would have happened once she had left. But still she could see why they also felt betrayed by her, she had left them at the mercy of a rapist and a drug addict, she had been a terrible grandmother to them. Even if at the time she had thought that she was doing the best thing possible for them, that she could not be a fit grandmother for her grandchildren when she herself was so broken, when she had been facing problems tat she could not cope with herself, she had felt that she had been doing the best thing for them, at the time their father had not been around for a long time, which was for the best for them, and Naniko, Nani had been a stable creature, a good mother, Soran had felt she had no reason to doubt the alabaster fae's abilities to raise these children to be happy and to want for nothing, apparently she had been wrong, at the time there had been no way of her knowing what was to come, but she could not help but wish that she had been here when it had all happened, she herself had been a drug addict, maybe she could have used her own experiences to stop Naniko doing what she had done, to convince her that the worst thing in the world was to become so dependant on a substance that you neglected your family, your duties, your pack, Soran had lost four children to drugs, Conri being the only one that had survived being born, she knew now that that was the heroin that she had been pumping into her system. She would never touch it again, she had destroyed what had been left and decided to try to be a good mother, she seemed to have failed at that as well though.
Ears swivelled as she heard movement in the room, the nerves grew even more, choking her, stifling any voice she might have chosen to use at this moment, had she been feeling braver, she might have called out, asking if anyone was at home so that she was not stood staring at a closed door, but she found herself completely unable to do that. She swallowed hard as she heard the door handle being turned, she so wanted to see Mati again, she wanted to see her granddaughter and have a chance to explain and talk to her properly, allow the girl a chance to get to know her before she decided that she hated her, she knew that that was a strong possibility, but she wanted to know she had tried and not just faded into the background of the reddish brown girl's life without a fight, or at least trying to help her to understand why she had left. She could never take back her abandonment of the pups, no matter how badly she wanted to, nor could she change the actions of her red son and her pale daughter, but she could try and make amends now, she could try and at least show the girl that she was nothing like her parents, just as Soran herself was nothing like her father, who had been a murderous psychopath, she was so far from anything he had been it made her proud. The door opened finally and the lady smiled softly, although very nervously, at the girl before her, she seemed to be dumbstruck to see the sable female, the lady could not blame her, she had not given any indication that she was coming to stay here, nor that she would be moving into the house, she supposed in Mati's mind she had left never to return, as she had done so many times before, but that was not going to happen this time, no, she was here to stay and she was going to try and rebuild the charred remains of the bridge between herself and her family members, even if it killed her. She stared at the girl quietly for a moment, again drinking her in, everytime she saw her she could not help but want to memorise everything about her, she was her blood, and here she stood, so tall and grown up, oh how the ebony lady wished she had been here to see her grow, it must have been a wonderful experience, she would have loved to have helped her develop her artistic skills, but alas, some things were not meant to be.
Finally the dark female found her voice, "hello Mati, I thought I would come and see you, I wanted to talk to you, I thought it was about time for you to get some of the explanations that have been owed to you for far too long." Soran said, her voice quavering with nerves, she kept having to pause and swallow, her mouth seemed suddenly devoid of all moisture, the nerves had taken it all away it seemed, she was waiting for the inevitable slamming of the door in her face after all.
"I er... I brought you these, I knew you like painting and I saw them and thought of you, you don't have to use them or anything... I just thought they might be... helpful to you." The lady added, offering the bundle of differently sized paintbrushes to her reddish brown granddaughter, her hand shaking violently as she did so. She stood and waited for some kind of response, something, even if it was just a slamming of the door in her face.
