WC: 1020
The ebony female watched her red granddaughter, it was so strange being so close to her now that she had grown. When she had been smaller it had been much easier for Soran to cope with her, before all the damage had been done they had had a good relationship, she knew that her grandmother had loved her, at least the ebony female hoped that she had. It had not been her fault that anything had happened, the ebony lady could not cope with the pressures of living so close to her family, it stirred too many memories for the sable lady, her eldest son asking her to end his life had been the final straw, the one thing to tip her over the edge. She had ended the life of her son before, he had been sick and she could not bear to watch him slip away as Maeve had done, it was easier to give him a quick death with no suffering, but of course it had been more than that, she had done it because of him looking too much like the perfect combination of both his mother and father, he was too much of a reminder of the horrible rape that had taken place, the fact that he had been sick was the only thing that had made her kill him, deciding it was for the best, but she was not sure that if he had survived that she could have loved him the way she had done her other children, she may have shunned him, perhaps then it was indeed better that he was dead, it would have been so damaging to have a mother who did not love him. Conri asking her in a moment of severe remorse to kill him had brought those memories flooding back, she had managed to stifle the mories, blocking them entriely from her mind, but once they floodgates had been opened there had been no turning back, she could not cope with being in the packlands, seeing her grandchildren, she had not deserved them. And so she had left to mourn to find some forgiveness, some balance within herself, finally she had achieved this, although it had taken her last litter of puppies to allow that to happen, she had been a good mother to them, the mother she should have been to all of her pups. Finally she had felt that she was able to come home, though coming back here, entering into a world that was so tattered and torn was difficult. But she was stronger now, she could cope, make amends, make sure her family would remember her as being kind and thoughtful, not like her broken red son or her addict pale daughter.
She listened as Mati spoke, saying that she did not have questions, this was difficult for Soran, for she had answers, she had explanations, she wanted to share them with her granddaughter, the reddish brown girl may not have felt like she needed closure, but Soran was sure that she did need the answers, once could not bury the past, she had learnt this the hard way, eventually it would catch up with you and eat you from inside. Again Mati spoke, speaking of her parent's by using their own names, it was sad for the fae to hear, but she understood, they did not deserve the titles of mother and father, her father had betrayed her mother in terrible, unspeakable ways and then in turn her mother had betrayed her children, allowing the poison she was putting into her body to become far more important than them. That was an addict's mind though unfortunately, Soran would probably knew it beter than most, she too had been an addict, but she had chosen her family in the end, she had chosen life. It was a good descision in her eyes, she just wished that Naniko would see sense in the end as well, although the damage she had already done may never be repaired properly. But for her own sake, for her youngest children's sake she needed to get clean, she needed to make something better for herself, being a drug addict hurt others and mostly it hurt oneself, she didn't want her pale daughter to die. She nodded as Mati spoke of her mate and Anu who had done such a good job of taking care of her. It was good to know that she had those who loved her and wanted her to be well looked after, at least Soran had put her trust in one right wolf, Anu had done a fine job of raising her grandchildren.
"I understand Mati, I did not mean to come here and stir up painful memories for you, I know now what your mother... what Naniko has done, I understand how much she must have hurt you, betrayed you. I am so sorry that I was not here to provide some sort of comfort for you. I am glad that you have found someone who loves you, there is no greater gift in this life than love Mati. And I am glad that Anu has looked after you, I must say I am in her debt, she has done a fine job of raising you and your brother." The fae said, again she tried to keep her tone steady, although her voice shook a little with nerves, just as her clasped hands were doing. She watched the ebony fae as she asked why she had come here, the fae sighed, looking into her granddaughter's eyes.
"I came to stay here because this used to be my home, I have told my children many stories of this place, it would be the first place that they would come looking for me. I missed these lands, it just felt right to come back here. You being here was an added bonus of course, I cannot deny that, but I have many old friends here. People that I care for. Including you." Soran replied, hoping that her explanation was suitable for her reddish brown granddaughter.
