What Itzal didn’t know was that she did break. She shattered. The whole incident shattered her pride, her life, and her trust for everything around her. She lost her trust for all men, thanks to Kemo and Harlowe. ”No, the reason I don’t run from danger is because I’m stupid. If I didn’t have that problem, the rape would’ve never happened.” But no, she had to act like a tough bitch with an already angry wolf. ”It’s not because he made me stronger. If anything he made me weaker.” All this talk about the rape, even though she befriended the bastard afterwards, had her blood boiling. Her ears were forward in attack mode, and her glare was burning a hole in the ceiling. She remembered the way she felt afterwards. She felt like she couldn’t trust anyone, plus she felt like shit thanks to all the fresh wounds on her body at the time. Thankfully she found Naniko who helped her get back on track. She would do anything for Nani to repay her for the good deed she did.
She broke eye contact from the, in her mind, singed piece of ceiling and set her gaze upon him. ”I would only gut you if need be, and if I would be capable of doing it.” She had ambitions, but she didn’t know if she could fulfill them. She didn’t know her true potential of doing things. She looked away from him again, but not back up to the ceiling. She stared at her hands instead. ”I’m sorry about your family troubles. I know a little about them myself.” She thought she told Itzal about her crazy father, but she wasn’t sure.
She sat silent for a moment before Itzal’s voice broke through again. ”No, Itzal. It’s not because of you.” Her words were kind, and she continued, ”I just get so pissed off when I think about what happened and I wasn’t able to stop it at all.” She got up from her bed, and looked over to the cat. He was still sound asleep, so quiet she forgot he was there for a while.
It was getting late and she wondered if she should ask him to sleep with her, because she didn’t mind someone to snuggle with, or should she kick him out? She walked over to her alcohol shelf and picked up two jars: one filled with light liquid- very strong, and the other filled with dark liquid- weak alcohol. She put the two jars on the table near the entranceway, and turned to Itzal. ”Those are for you for your den in case you ever just want to drink. I plan to make more anyway.” She glanced toward her fermenter in the corner, and then sat on a chair by the table.
It wouldn’t hurt to ask, ”Would you want to stay here with me tonight? I don’t mind the company.” It wasn’t like his den was far away, but he did look rather comfortable on her bed, and she’d feel bad if he had to be disturbed.
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