Samantha still feared what would happen upon her leaving Casa. Would it break Rain down? She didn't even know anymore if he wanted her. If he would even consider leaving back to their own home. How could she possibly sort things out in a way that hurt him less? But lately, it seemed that his interests were in improving his rank, helping the pack. But when did it start that his rank came above his lover? It was just too hard to tolerate, yet so painful to let go. But like she said, Anathema was home. She missed the caves, the dripping of water in the tunnels...The flickering of candlelight against the walls of the caverns. It all was familiar, all perfect. And this, as it proved made her a creature of dark. The sunlight and clouds, the light she had to see every morning upon waking--Seemed fake and artificial. Not the least peaceful and serene. Sighing inaudibly, the lithe girl glanced back to Mido. He was a true friend, the perfect mix of mischief and a strong sense of others. How could she leave good friends like that? Simply disappear when they could work so well alongside? There was others in the pack like that. And she missed it. Missed the feeling of placement.
All in the midst of her inner conflict, Mido mentioned he was keeping out of trouble. That brought a laugh to her lips, mentioning happily That's a good thing, I guess. There wasn't much she was up to in Casa, feeling mostly like a misplaced stranger opposed to anything else. Leaning on the flank of the horse, Sam tried to remember the best she could about hunting with him. It had been a lucky day, that one. The deer had been strung up and a great feast for the people. In her opinion, she had been a good person. She had looked after the kids the best she could, and tried her best with birthing the ones that lay deceased. It was hard to imagine now, that Quinn and Lux were grown. Old enough to make their own choices and no longer squirming creatures, depending solely on her actions to survive. But it was strange. Sammi didn't feel old or aged. However juvenile it was, the woman didn't feel much different than before. Like a teenager, a young canine still getting to know the world. Other than her ways of life in Anathema, what purpose did the snowy female hold? Sammi imagined that he wouldn't want to listen...Then what? Could she just leave? How?
She wanted to hug Mido when he spoke about the leadership likely letting her back in. Instead, she looked at her right palm, the neat long scar running across her hand. The healed wound spoke of Family. Of blood relations to the rest of the pack. It made her related to Mido, to Naniko, to the whole of the underground pack's structure. And that was what made her make up her mind. The picture of that little scar burned itself into her mind. Family. She had run away from Family just to get closer to someone. Someone who wasn't as gifted with the time to spend with her. I'll come back. She decided, patting the horse's brown snout. The equine creature belonged to Rain, when the time came to bring it back, she would leave it. The journey would be longer, but it was definitely worth it. I don't think it'll be that bad...I mean, I miss it here so much. And my life, it's different now. I'm not used to Casa di Cavalieri... The she-wolf murmured whimsically, glancing serenely to her canine companion.
What can I do without you guys, anyway? Samantha's life had turned to a complete zero since Casa di Cavalieri, the ranks were not known well enough, not fitting towards her skills. Lowering her voice teasingly, the female inquired Will you teach me some techniques, Dasa? When I come back? Sam couldn't remember if the creamy dog still held the rank, but he was in the fighting tiers, wasn't he? I've never really known how to fight....brother. Calling him that felt so right. They were bound by blood, and seemed so...Brotherly. What could she do without him? Y'know? Things might work out--I just wish to come home.
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