Shadows of the Past

Malakai · 06-15-2012, 08:40 AM

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WC:1039+ - OOC Points - 10

As Axelle began to tell of her own dark past, Malakai went silent and listened closely, his eyes watching her intently. However, from the moment the first sentence left her lips, his whole body tensed. This 'Kemo' had raped her. Without thought or question, this male had moved straight to the top of Kai's hitlist. Kai himself had done such things in the past, but this was different. This was her. Hearing of how she had been taken in by the pack after being found injured, Kai related - it was how he had come to Anathema. It seemed this pack had a habit of finding injured strays and nursing them to health. As she continued talking, Kai felt this dark black hole in his stomach open and yet felt proud of her - even after the attack and rape, she had been strong enough to want revenge on the male.

Even as she rose from the couch, from his touch, Kai watched her, leaning forwards on the couch, his elbows and forearms resting on his thighs by his knees, however hearing that she had been pregnant with this male's pups really caught him off-guard. Though he didn't seem to show it. He didn't flinch, didn't move a muscle. The only sign of his emotion was the tightening of his jaw as she spoke of it all. And then, his poker face crumbled for just a few seconds. Not upon hearing that she planned to take her revenge on the pups, but when Axelle had spoken about where she had actually given birth, about the fact that she had been so utterly alone. No-one there to encourage her, to help her, to support her. That was what seemed to hurt Kai.

He listened on what she had done, the details of the fire, of how she had tossed the stillborn pups onto it, and imagined the squeals of the live ones in the moments before their deaths, imagined the smell of their burning flesh, imagined the sight of their wriggling bodies as they cooked alive in the flames. The fact that she had used their father to help in the murder of his pups would have been much more satisfying if this wolf had known what he was doing. Kai's eyes remained fixed upon her, and he could see the pain on her features, he could hear it in her voice, that reliving such painful memories was agony for her, and he regretted that he was the one who had asked about these details. But Kai knew that sometimes, speaking of the past was theraputic.

As the female moved back over to the couch and spoke of her reasons for killing the pups, Kai made no judgements. Her reasons for her actions were her own and in his eyes, were better than most. Worse things had been done with less of a reason. Kai saw the way she hugged her knees to her chest, that she seemed to draw into herself, assuming it was in fear of his reaction, that he would think her so awful that he would simply storm off and want nothing more to do with her. But that was far from the case.

He digested all she had said, and felt anger rage through his system but it wasn't aimed at her, or what she had done. Malakai understood. He may not have done the same in her position but he could understand her actions. Those pups had been forced into her and he knew that she would have hated them from the instant they were conceived, she would have hated their movements within her belly and hated the sight of them after their birth. Of course she couldn't raise them. It was no way for pups to start out life, so better in the long run to end them before they had a chance. The anger inside him was aimed at this Kemo, and he knew that with or without Axelle's permission, he would make this wolf hurt, as much as he had hurt her. Inhaling deeply, Kai bowed his head briefly, before pushing himself off the couch but rather than pull away, instead he moved over towards her, closer to her, and crouched facing her, balancing on the pads of his feet, his low position meaning he had to look up at her. And with a gentle movement, Kai reached out and let his hand softly slide down her arm, moving down her forearm, finding her hand as she held herself tightly. He let his fingers play delicately over her fingers, his eyes fixing upon hers.

"I know how difficult that must have been, Axelle, to tell me that. But you don't need to worry about it, okay? I don't think you're a puppy killer or anything like that. We're both capable of murder. And I know you think it's different, a mother killing her own offspring, that it's worse than what I did, but you if you compare what I did and why to what you did and why, your reasons are far more valid." His hand lifted to brush against her face, his voice low, and the only thing in his eyes now was concern and sympathy. "You know what made me sad? Not hearing about tossing the pups on the fire or the fact that you had him help, it was that you had to do it alone. That you had to go through your pregnancy without anyone, that you had to cower in that shack, in such pain, and give birth without anyone there to support you, to help." Kai slowly raised himself up, leaning on the couch somewhat and let his arms drift around her, pulling her softly against him in a light hug. "It's something I would like to do in the future... Have pups of my own... But I think it's a little early to be thinking about that for us. But for the record... I think you'd be pretty good at it, myself." He held her against his form, letting her take comfort from him if she wished to, letting her know that what she had told him hadn't altered what he thought about her, or what he felt.

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