[aw] crawling back to you
#9
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Trent hadn't known he was failing, that was true. And apparently, neither had Alder. Perhaps that's why he was so defensive, trying to absolve himself of any responsibility or, perhaps, worse, feeling offended and personally victimised by Trent's words; as if he, personally, should've done something more. Trent didn't mean it like that, but he did think that maybe they could've done more. It was a scary thought that if he would fall back into a hermit's living tomorrow, there would be nobody to know or care about it. Only angry Alder who wouldn't come to see him, but who'd be disappointed and unhappy that Trent had betrayed him, regardless of the reasons. It was disheartening.

But, right, back to Strelein... Trent blurted out, "That new leader guy knew." After all, he'd been the one to throw him off his throne. Trent sure as hell hadn't known, but then, he admittedly hadn't made a habit of hanging out with the pack's leaders. He was rather intimidated by them and felt like they'd only see his klutziness and complete waste of space if he'd come too close to them. But others, like that new leader guy -- his name slipped Trent a moment -- had apparently noticed, known, and had gotten angry -- like Alder was now, and might've been had it been him confronting Strelein -- instead of trying to help a pack mate. Even if he'd wanted the man to relinquish his leadership position, he could've still remained part of the normal ranks, maybe even as a respected member, right? It just seemed wrong, because once upon a time, no doubt Strelein had been a good member of the pack. Otherwise he wouldn't have been a leader.

"I just don't see why we should kick a dog that's already down. I mean, yeah, if he's not feeling well he shouldn't be a leader, but he was once upon a time a good leader, right? I just don't like this whole taking-a-person's-dignity thing." Trent didn't even know why on earth he was sticking up for Strelein in this argument he and Alder were having, because he didn't even really know the fallen leader. But he still felt empathy for him. Maybe it was because Trent himself was a chump that was no good to the pack, although it would've made more sense if he would've been one of the kickers then, to cover up his own incompetence, not the one jumping in front of them and telling them no. Trent was confused, and he didn't remember ever thinking this much... Looking up at Alder when he asked the question, Trent hastily said, although he was unable to decipher just why Alder sounded grouchy about it nor why Trent was so hasty to deny, "No. I've only met him once."

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