ooc:
The calm was short-lived, a mere pause in the storm whilst the tail end of it had yet to unleash its fury. But the awaited build was a soft release, little more than a tired sigh laden with hurt. She could think of nothing else to say to him, but he had plenty to contest with her.
Perhaps she knew nothing of the love he embraced, but she knew of her own and how far it would extend. She knew the joys and pain of his, of the loyalties that could be crafted and the disappointment that could inevitably shatter the heart and will. If that was not the love he spoke of, then she hadn't the mind at present to indulge him. With disheartened eyes she turned her head from him, forsaking the touch of warmth for the chill of the air. Her ears remained turned to him, twitching minutely as he spoke of X'ies and her haste to couple with him rather than speak. Yes... she was at fault in that regard. Choosing to ignore the opportunity for reconciliation for the sake of children and making apparent her affections for the venom-tongued beast. But she would look to him then with eyes wide and searching, knowing all too well the personality of her Nomad brethren and again spoke in his defense.
"Respect is not given Jaden. It is earned. To call yourself a leader and expect subordinates to follow is not enough. You needn't accomplish impossible feats or force another into submission. I have learned that respect comes from working alongside those you lead. Talk to them, learn 'who' they are and guide them....not force them to obey you based on a title." Gradually her expression soften though no smile touched her lips. "Ever since he came to these lands, you have done nothing but fight him and assert yourself as Alpha without just means. And he knows this... and has been watching you...waiting for you to step so far ahead that you stumble. You let his words dig into you and birth your rage. You seek to stand over him rather than stand alongside and truly see what he is capable of. You treat him differently than you would anyone else in our Family. And why? Because he made a fool of you once? And you let that one instance give him an advantage over you...time and time again."
She inhaled then and lowered her gaze. It had been a time since she spoke so passionately at length. So much that her cords began to protest against the stress consequently applied to them. They began to grate with wear, emitting softer and softer octaves til her voice was a partial whisper with subtle inflections of emphasis. And lesser still til her voice was a calm whisper. "I am wrong in that I did not come to you. My fault was letting my anger rule my motives and intentions. But I accept my actions, and know no regret. Because Jaden...I truly did not want to speak with you the instant I knew for fear of what I would do..or what you would say. You chose to lie with a dog...a lesser creature than you or I... and lied to me about it...kept it from me even as you took me as yours. I could not bear to hear your reason behind it. And...I still dont want to know your reason why. Only that you had... and kept it from me."